Topics

PARENTING AGREEMENT:

Decision Making:

Each party has a right to confer with the other pertaining to all major decisions affecting the welfare of their child(ren) (unless otherwise prohibited by Court order, example: Domestic Violence Restraining Order). Both parents shall confer so that major decisions affecting the welfare of the child(ren) will be determined jointly. Such major decisions may include, but are not limited to, the education, medical and dental care, religious training, and discipline of the minor child(ren). The (PRP) has a duty to discuss with the (SRP) the advantages and disadvantages of all major decisions regarding the children and to work with the (SRP) in an effort to reach a joint decision. For example, this duty would include an obligation to discuss a decision to remove a child(ren) from public school in order to enroll a child(ren) in private school, it may include allowing a child to participate in a school related activity e.g., field trip. It would not include a decision to have a child's hair cut. In the event the parties are unable to agree on a decision affecting the welfare of the minor child(ren) and time does not permit a hearing before the Court, then the (PRP) has the right to make the decision and the (SRP) may file petition within a reasonable time to review the decision.

FACT:

BM refuses to discuss anything with me. She feels my requests for information on our daughter are an act of being controlling instead of caring. She send DD to a therapist without my knowledge, signed her up for classes at her school without talking to me, allowed her an out of town field trip without discussing it with me and I am sure a zillion other things that I obviously don't know about. She has made it clear that because she is doing a "fine job" with our daughter, that I don't deserve this information. She is very proud to say that infront of anyone and everyone.

Evidence:

Several still unopened FedEx packages that I sent her regading visitation arrangements, trips we are taking while DD is with me and one about guitar lessons.

An unopened certified letter also stating a trip the I intended on taking DD on and other issues.

She blocked my email addys

A letter from her stating that she refuses to discuss anything with me unless it is regarding visitation or an emergency and all discussion must be made thru untrackable mail or by phone.

A voicemail from her that states that she has the right not to communicate with me if she doesn't want to.

Another letter refering to a letter I sent asking about being notifed when DD is ill and when she goes out of town as minutia and stating that she will not respond to it (she did not specifically say anything about the trips or illness but basically stated that it was BS that I was asking for the information in the letter she just received from me).

Trip Itinerary:

Each parent has the right to know the whereabouts of the child(ren) when parenting time will be exercised in a different locale other than the home. Should either parent have the child(ren) away from their normal residence for a period of more than 24 hours (e.g. for a trip or vacation) then such parent shall provide the other with an itinerary of where the child(ren) will be staying providing addresses, telephone numbers of each location, the length of the stay, the name of all persons who may provide care for the child(ren) during the stay, the departure date, and the date of return/arrival. In case of an emergency involving the child(ren) and in the best interest of the child(ren), each parent is encouraged to communicate with the other(unless prohibited by Court order) when he or she will be traveling away from home for less than 24 hours. The parties should provide the other parent with telephone number(s), pager, voice mail, or a third party so that the parent may contact the other parent if there is an emergency involving the child(ren).


FACT:

She has never notified me about any overnight stays my daughter has done including an out of town field trip that lasted a week.

PARENTING AGREEMENT:

Medical Condition: Each parent has the right to know of any significant illness of a child or significant injury sustained by such child(ren). "Significant" is hereby defined as any such condition which would require a child to miss school or to be taken to a health care provider. Each party shall notify the other promptly of any significant illness or injury affecting the minor child(ren).


FACT:
My daughter missed 16 days of school last year. I had not gotten a notice about 1 of those absenses.


PARENTING AGREEMENT:

When airline transportation is used and the child(ren) is/are below the age to fly unaccompanied, the parent having the child transported by air for parenting time must make arrangements with the airline(s) to have the child accompanied by airline personnel. The additional cost of which shall be divided equally between the parents; unless otherwise provided by Court order or agreement between the parties.

FACT: Our daughter has flown many times to my home. My exwife's half of the unaccompanied minor fees comes to $375 now. She will not pay it. One of the problems is, after we settled the last Parenting agreement, she sued me for an increase in CS. The court ordered that we try to work it out ourselves. Initially I drafted a proposal for part of the unaccompanied minor fees that she was to pay be deducted from the child support. She called and yelled and screamed and had me take it out because DD will not be using the services until she is 18 and she felt it artificially lowered the CS. I agreed, verbally, and we negotiated further and settled on a number higher than the one I initally proposed (she was very insistant that I pay more).

Evidence:

A letter from my exwife refusing to pay for the fees. First she refused because she was offsetting it against several things she siad I owe her, which I am NOT responsible for (cost of the paperwork she paid for to file for the CS increase, the filing costs for the increase, a medical bill that she incurred because she did not use my insurance on my daughter). Later she argued that it was taken out of CS, per my inital proposal.

A letter refusing to pay for her half of the fees at the airport.

COURT ORDER:

She did not show for a deposition in which I incurred legal fees for and ourt reported fees. The court ordered she reimbursement in the amount of $270.

FACT:

She states that she no longer owes me anything. She states that she told my lawyer that she wasn't coming because she had class and that it is my tough luck. She also argues that she has it deducted from purchases she made for our daughter (field trip money, etc).

Evidence:

I have her claimes in a letter she wrote me.

Questions

1. Is my case strong enough, in you opinion, to argue that she is shutting me out of the decision making?

2. Would a proper request to the court be that BM must email me once a week with brief items such as school issues and health issues?

3. Would the evidence that I have be strong enough to show that she is not willing to discuss DD's illnesses with me?

4. Would the evidence that I have be strong enough to support the fact that she never sends me an itinerary?

5. Do you feel that the letters that I wrote in negotiation of CS will bite me in the a$$ regading the unaccompanied minor fees even though the number increased $100 a month from that proposal?

I guess that is it. I have more, but I think those are the things I can prove the most.

Thanks
Ref

1. If my child at 15 says that she doesn't want to come to see me and she is evaluated by a counselor, psychiatrist, GAL or other professional and that professional states "The child is unable to form and express their own opinion due to emotional stress and pressure from the CP.", would that help my case or is it still a lost cause?


thanks
ref

I filed for a decrease in CS and BM decided to counter sue for Modification of Visitation and Contempt. We just got done with Modification of Visitation last year (to increase it).

She is also claiming that I do not deserve a decrease in CS but only a temporary decrease until I get a new job. She claims I have a history of unemployment and she believes I am going to try to be unemployed for a long time due to this history. I have been employed fully for 11 years. I only was unemployed in 1993 because I left the military and it took about 5 months to find a civilian job. I have no college degree and there is no way I will make the kind of money I did at my old job. All the jobs online ask for a degree and offer about half of what I was making for salary and estimated commissions.

She is claiming the substantial change in circumstances since last year, for the modification of visitation is that our daughter is 15 this year. Her first arguement is that I fly my daughter back to her home too late and if there is a weather problem, she may be stuck at the connecting airport.

SD will no longer be required to fly as an unaccompanied minor, so those protections can no longer be in place. I actually never sent my daughter home so that her plane would land later than 9pm (most of the time the flights are before 4 pm). She did have a problem with one of the last flights due to a thundestorm, but I flew her back the next morning. There was no chance of her getting stuck at the airport. I did book her on a late flight to fly to me recently, but my ex's argument is regarding flights to her for some reason.

She also argues that at 15, my daughter would like to work in the summer time and the fact that I have her for substantially all of summer, this is not possible. She also states that my daughter misses her friends. My arguement is that she can work while she is with me in the summer and all of her family except her mother are here where I live and she deserves to have a relationship with them. She also has friends here. I have a printout of a blog page that she says that she will miss them when she returns to her mom's home.

She also states that my daughter needs more than one week from the time school starts to reacclimate herself to living with her mother and prepare for school. She is asking for my summer break to be reduced only 1 week this year but to decrease more and more as my daughter gets older.


She also wants to decrease the 3 day weekends that I have my daughter to half of what I received last year. She states that they are disruptive to my daughter to have her fly to see me on those times and the frequecy of the 3 day weekends lately have caused undue stress. I have had my daughter away from her mother's town for a three day weekend 2 times over the past 11 years. The first I flew her to Orlando to go to Disney with me and my wife in 2003. This was a 30 minute flight. I had her fly to my home for Labor day 2004. That is it.

It actually states in our parenting agreement that I have my daughter for certain holidays that are a part of the 3 day weekend but it does not include the weekend attached. I have to spend all weekend visitation at her mother's location with 7 days notice. It seems obvious that she is asking for me to have my visitation reduced for no reason. I don't even have rights to the long weekends anywhere but at my ex-wife's city.

She is sueing me for contempt over two matters. The first is regarding her July 4th visitation this summer. As with my long weekend visitation, she has to have the weekend in my town. She has the holiday from 9am the holiday day to 9am the following day. She informed me that she was flying my daughter back Friday mid-morning and returning her after 8pm Tuesday. Initially I told her that she could not fly daughter down but had to spend the weekend here. BM flipped out and sent daughter for summer vacation with the tickets anyway and a letter stating how much she will miss her and hopes that I wont make her stay with me.  She also sent her with a copy of the Parenting agreement and $70 cash.

I thought about it and agreed to send her down to be with her mother. The only conditions I made was that daughter's flight times change so that I wont miss as much work and so that she wont miss that much camp. I explained that I paid for camp and that I was concerned about losing my job. I sent my ex this letter by FedEx. She refused to accept it. I sent her a copy in an two emails and she blocked my address. I sent her a certified letter and she refused to sign for it. I left her two messages and she refused to return my call. Later she left me a message stating that she had every right to refuse all letters and not communicate with me.

She is now sueing me for contempt over the full price of the tickets and  for make-up visitation.
 
She is also sueing me for contempt about our itinerary clause in our parenting agreement. It states that if our daughter spends over 24 hours away from either of our homes, that the parent she is with must tell the other the place daughter will be staying, phone, and who they will be with. She states that I refuse to give her this information, particularly regarding a trip we made during last summer.

I have copies of the notices that I sent FedEx to my ex-wife. One of the FedExs she refused to accept. I sent her an email to back that one up, but the email was blocked. I have proof of 3 out of 4 of the trips I have taken my daughter on. The one she specified is the one I have no proof for. I called her to let her know that we were going out of town. She had refused all other mail and email, so I had no choice but to simply leave her a message. She states that she had no way of contacting daughter as a hurricane rolled through her state. She called our home, my cell phone and my daughter's cell phone that day. Daughter called her back within 24 hours of her first message.

She has never informed me of when my daughter was away for over 24 hours. I have about 20 counts of contempt that I have been holding back on filing for the sake of peace, but I think I am going to stick her with them now. Some are really easy (court ordered money), others are soft like the itinerary issue.

1. Should I prepare myself to prove my employment for the past 11 years?

2. Would the fact that she lied about that enough to effect the outome of my CS case?

3. Is the fact that my daughter is 15 and able to fly alone this year enough for a substantial change? The fact that she wants to work? The fact she misses her friends?

4. Do you think stating that my daughter can continue to fly as an unaccompanied minor until she is 17 as long as BM pays the fees acceptable middle ground to keep my ex from worrying about our daughter getting stuck at an airport? (my daughter has been flying since she was 7 years old. She knows the airports better than the flight attendants that watch her sometimes) I would hate to do this to my daughter, but if it shuts up mom....

5. Will the fact that our parenting agreement does not allow for long distance longe weekends put an end to her requesting that my holidays get cut in half?

6. Do you think I have enought to stiffle the July 4th contempt. (I acted in good faith)?

7. How does it look that I only called BM regarding the trip rather than FedEx or emailed her based ont he fact that she refuses all communication?

8. I know I can get several contempts against her. Should I go for all of them, even the softer ones like the itinerary and the fact she doesn't notify me when our daughter is ill?

Thanks
Ref

Hi Soc

I filed for CS reduction and BM was served about 20 days ago. I have a feeling that she will not answer the petition and she wont send me her income information. She will not tell me where she works but I know the field she is in and she got her Masters degree ( I am guessing she just granduated, but she wont tell me that either). She doesn't have a work history for the past 8-10 years.

I know I have to file a default with the court, but I also have to file my financial information and the child support calculation worksheet. In the calculation worksheet I have to put her income in.

She also wrote me a letter after she was served stating that she would no longer accept communication from me accept by regular post. She will no accept FedEx or Certified Mail - Only regular mail. The topics also must relate to visitation only.  (Our agreement is shared parentetal with joint decision making) She will let the machine pick up my calls and I must state what the topic is and it can ONLY relate to visitation or she will not call back.

1. When I file the calculation sheet with the default, can I estimate her income or so I need to file something elso to force her to comply (contempt?)

2. I have a feeling she will not respond to any of this. Will the judge just grant what I ask for if she doesn't respond?

3. If she rejects all the legal docs because of her new restrictions, what are the penalties?

I would like to avoid taking her to court as much as possible, but she is really making it tough. All of this is in contempt of our parenting agreement and hurting my relationship with our daughter, but I am afraid taking her mom to court will make things worse.

Thanks
Ref

Hi Soc

I just lost my job and I am trying to figure out my options. I have no college degree but I have been in my industry for 10 years. I am in sales. I lost my job because my company closed the office on my coast.

There are many of my and my coworker's customers that will not be able to be serviced anymore because of our office closing. There are a few other companies that do what my old company did around in the area and I know most of the players. Unfortunatley, it is a very competative industry and I don't think I will get a job at the other companies making the money that I did.

I think my best option is to keep my customers and start a business with my coworker. He is already putting wheels in motion and I have contacted many of my customers to inform them of the change and they are enthusiastic about continuing working with me. As a matter of fact, my cellphone still keeps ringing from old customers looking for me to help them out. I haven't been able to enjoy any of my unemployment yet.

The problem I am having is that I have been employed and responsible with my CS for the entirety of my divorced life and before. My ex decided she didn't feel like working and lived off my suppot for years. Last time she went for an increase in support I had them impute her income.

I am sure she will use this trick against me now that I have filed for a reduction. Most of the ads that I have seen for sales jobs state that they require a degree, of which I don't have.  Some do not require this but they are either door-to-door knife selling scams or they pay substantially less than what I was making. I would very much like to make an attempt with this business.

The state is Florida.

1. Do I have to prove that I couldn't make the money I was before, or is the burden on my ex to prove that I can?

2. I would hate to circulate my resume in the industry because I intend on being a competitor, is there another way for me to prove I am not trying to loaf?

3. Any advice on setting up a company to protect my interests?

4. How long does the court typically allow a parent to pull themselves back up after something like this without imputing income? ( I think I will be unemployed for about 3 months).

Thanks
Ref

I am filing for reduced CS in the state of Florida because I lost my job. From the posts I have gotten from you in the past, it seems that I will get my future CS reduced for the amount I paid over what it should be while I am at a lower earning rateback to the date I filed (today). I did leave out that it is in Florida in my prior posts.

I was looking into Florida statute and it appears that they will not award retroactive support unless it is in the initial filing.

http://sun6.dms.state.fl.us/dor/childsupport/guidlines.html

From what it appears, I have to file for a temporary order to get a decrease immediately. So I fould Florida Family Law form 12.947(a).(Motion of Temporary Support With Dependent or Minor Children) It seems to be what I am looking for but the instructions are:

"This form may be used by: (1) the respondent or the petitioner in a pending dissolution of marriage action. or (2)the petitioner in a pending action for support unconnected with the dissolution"

I am originally the respondent in the divorce and this is for a pending modification.

1. Am I reading the statute right beleiving that there is no retroactive support in Florida?

2. Is this the right form?

3. If not, do you know how to find the right form?

Thanks Soc

Ref

DH is filing for decrease in CS due to being laid off. He can not afford CS at the level it is now. Can he pay the amount that he calculated that he would get after the CS modification is settled? He was going to pay a little over, just in case. Will he get credit for that after the case or could it cause a problem with showing an ability to pay the higher amount? BM will be pro se and so will Dh.

Thanks
Ref

Dh is filing for modification of CS. His ex was the petitioner in the original CS order. Is he now the petitioner or does he maintain respondent status?

The form DH has to fill out to modify CS asks "This change is in the best interest of the children because..." How do I answer? My inclination is to say "So that kid will not have to see dad go to jail" or "So dad can afford to keep seeing kid".

The reasons for modification are
1. Dh lost his job yesterday
2. BM just got her Masters and is finally employed (for now)
3. Visitation Travel expenses have increased due to airline ticket increase. (Sd lives 1400 miles away)

Thanks SOC - You are my hero

Ref

Hi Soc

I was working on drafting up a motion for contempt and was hoping you would be able to review it for me. It is rather long. I have broken it up in the sections asked for on the Motion to fole for contempt form. Thanks - Ref



Question 1 : What were the orders that the contempt is based on?

1.  The Final Judgement of Disolution of Marriage, case number ########## Division "X" dated XX/XX/XXXX. A Final Judgment on Former Husband's Verified Supplemental Petition to Modify Visitation dated XX/XX/XXXX. The Order SANCTION to reimburse for costs of missed deposition.

Question 2: What parts of the orders were not followed

2.
a.   The court ordered "Each party has a right to confer with the other pertaining to all major decisions affecting the welfare of their child(ren) (unless otherwise prohibited by Court order, example: Domestic Violence Restraining Order). Both parents shall confer so that major decisions affecting the welfare of the child(ren) will be determined jointly. Such
major decisions may include, but are not limited to, the education, medical ,religious training, and discipline of the minor child(ren). The (PRP) has a duty to discuss with the (SRP) the advantages and disadvantages of all major decisions regarding the children and to work with the (SRP) in an effort to reach a joint decision." (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 2 & 32(1) & 32 (8))

b.   The court ordered "Parents are to divide all school planning days equally. In that regard, the PRP should notify the SRP at the beginning of each school year as to when all school planning days are scheduled, so that the SRP can make efforts to spend this additional time with their child on a rotating basis." (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 4 (I))

c.   The court ordered "Should either parent have the child(ren) away from their normal residence for a period of more than 24 hours (e.g. for a trip or vacation) then such parent shall provide the other with an
itinerary of where the child(ren) will be staying providing addresses, telephone numbers of each location, the length of the stay, the name of all persons who may provide care for the child(ren) during the stay, the departure date, and the date of return/arrival." (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 4 (L))

d.   The court ordered "Each party shall notify the other promptly of any significant illness or injury affecting the minor child(ren)." (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 4 (N))

e.   The court ordered "When airline transportation is used and the child(ren) is/are below the age to fly unaccompanied, the parent having the child transported by air for parenting time must make arrangements with the airline(s) to have the child accompanied by airline personnel. The additional cost of which shall be divided equally between the parents; unless otherwise provided by Court order or agreement between the parties." (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 4 (Q))

f.   The court ordered "Each parent shall have the right to contact the child(ren) by telephone at the residence, or location of the other parent with reasonable frequency, during reasonable hours, and for reasonable duration (unless otherwise prohibited by Court order). Unless an emergency arises, "reasonable frequency" is defined as once
per day. "Reasonable hours" is defined as 8:00 a.m. through 8:00 p.m. (child's local time). "Reasonable duration" is hereby defined as no more than one-half (½) hour per call. Each parent has a duty to promptly return telephone calls placed by the other and to see that the child(ren) do the same. The child(ren) shall be allowed to initiate telephone calls, during any period of parenting time. If the telephone call requires a long distant charge, the parent initiating the call is responsible for any long distance
charge." (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 4 (T))

g.   The court ordered "Each parent shall diligently remember to encourage and promote, between the other parent and child, good relations, love and affection, spending time with and giving attention to the other parent when that parent has the child. Neither parent shall obstruct, impede nor interfere with the other parents' right to associate with and enjoy the company of the minor child unless there is a court order that requires such behavior." (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 32 (2))

h.   The court ordered "Any feelings of ill will, dislike, hatred, lack of respect, or anger held by one parent against the other or held by both parents, shall not be exhibited in the presence of or around the child. The relationship between the parents shall be as respectful and courteous as possible, when dealing with matters relating to the child. (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 32 (4))

i.   The court ordered "Both parents shall be entitled to participate in and attend activities in which the child is involved, such as religious activities, school programs, sports events and other activities and important school and social events in which the child participates. Each parent has the duty to independently obtain knowledge of and information about these events. If information is exclusively or uniquely known to one parent, then that parent has the duty to timely inform the other parent, within a reasonable period of time before the event." (Shared Parenting Schedule & Shared Parental Responsibility Statement, 32 (6))

j.   The court ordered the Petitioner to reimburse the Respondent $270.00 for failure to appear at a deposition. ( ORDER TITLE & #)


 
 

Question 3: What has been done/not done that doesn't comply

3.

a.   
1)   Petitioner has failed to contact the Respondent regarding the following items, thus failing to allow Respondent to participate in joint decisions:
•   Child was invited to participate in an advanced program at a different high school.
•   Child has signed-up for classes for high school.
•   Child has gone to a social worker for therapy.
•   Child went on a field trip for 1 week.
•   Child has participated or was invited to participate in extracurricular activities (Beta Club, Office Assistant, Peer Counseling)
•   Child had a friend who was institutionalized for suicidal tendencies due to information the Child provided to authorities.
2)   Petitioner has denied the Respondent's right to confer with her regarding major decisions regarding the welfare of the child.
•   Petitioner refused FedEx that discussed summer 2004 visitation with the child attempted delivery date_____
•   Petitioner would not accept FedEx discussing the July 4th Holiday and a medical appointment for the child. Attempted delivery, 6/13/05, 6/14/05, 6/15/05. Respondent had letter held at the location until 6/21/05 when it was retuned to Respondent.
•   Petitioner would not return voicemail that Respondent left regarding the July 4th holiday. VM left 6/20/05.
•   Petitioner would not return voicemail that respondent left regarding the July 4th holiday on _____
•   Petitioner did not accept certified letter regarding her unwillingness to pay for unaccompanied minor fees.
•   Petitioner refuses to read emails (3) sent to her email address

b.   Petitioner has failed to contact the respondent about school planning days for the    school years 2004-2005 and 2005-2006.

c.   Petitioner has failed to contact the respondent regarding child being away from her home for over 24 hours.

•   Child was out of the home for her trip to School Trip from April X, 2005 though April X, 2005.

d.   Petitioner has failed to notify Respondent of any illness that caused the 16 absences and 20 tardies noted on the Child's report card.

e.   Petitioner has failed to reimburse the Respondent for the half of any unaccompanied minor fees incurred for visitation for

•   Summer 2004 ($75)
•   Winter 2004/2005 ($75)
•   Labor Day 2005  ($75)
•   Summer 2005. ($50)

f.   
1)    Petitioner calls the Respondents' home several times in a day. Petitioner will also call Child's cell phone several times in a day when in the care of the Respondent. This was done on the following dates:
•   June 24, 2005 at 5:55pm, 6:03pm, 8:39pm, and 9:00pm

2)   Petitioner calls the Respondent's home using the toll free number set up for the Child to use: This was done on the following dates:
•   June 15, 2005 at 6:17pm
•   June 24, 2005 at 5:55pm, 6:03pm, 8:39pm, and 9:00pm
•   July 20, 2005

g.   Petitioner has failed to encourage and promote good relations, love and affection between Respondent and child and Petitioner impeded and interfered with the other Respondent's right to associate with and enjoy the company of the minor child

•   On _____, child left a voicemail stating that the Petitioner wanted the child to call the Respondent regarding money.
•   Petitioner has allowed and encouraged the child to look over legal documentation as it relates to the Petitioner and the Respondent.
•   Petitioner had child bring the Parenting Agreement with her during the Summer 05 parenting time.
•   Petitioner allows child to screen phone calls from Respondent.
•   Petitioner required Respondent to pay her half of the unaccompanied minor fee for the flight the child was to make for Summer 2005, or the child would not be able to fly.

h.   Petitioner has exhibited feelings of ill will, dislike, hatred, lack of respect, or anger toward the Respondent.

•   On XX/XX/XXXX, the child's birthday, petitioner slammed the door in the face of the respondent in view of the child.
•   In the evenings of August XX, 2004, and August XX, 2004 the Petitioner and the Respondent were negotiating child support increase and the Petitioner began screaming at the respondent over the phone while the child was at the Petitioner's location.  
•   Petitioner leaves hostile voicemails on family answering machine

i.   Petitioner has failed to notify the Respondent of any of the child's activities including.

•   Choir concerts – Including Christmas and Spring
•   Dances – Including Prom
•   Field Trips – Including XXXX
•   Doctor Appointments – See Dr's statement
•   Social Worker Appointments – See receipts

j.   Petitioner has failed to pay the $300.00 as ordered by the court sanction.

 
Question 4: what would you like the court to order

a.   
1)   Petitioner shall be required to email or fax Respondent at a minimum of a weekly basis by Sunday 9pm in the Petitioner's time zone information regarding the child including any major decisions that are to be made and to continue to discuss these items through email or fax until a joint decision is met. If the decision must be made within a week or less the petitioner shall send a separate email or fax immediately in order to facilitate discussion to achieve a joint decision.
2)   Petitioner shall be required to reimburse the Respondent within 180 for the cost of the FedEx and Certified Letter totaling ___?60?___. The court award prejudgment interest.  Petitioner's wages shall be garnished for those amounts. If the Petitioner is unemployed, the Petitioner shall be required to seek employment. Until employment is obtained, the Petitioner shall pay the required amounts through the central governmental depository.
3)   Should the Petitioner cause any package or letter from the Respondent to be returned, the Petitioner shall be required to pay $100 to the respondent for every returned letter. This payment shall be made within 30 days of the letter's date of return.

b.   Petitioner shall be required to fax or email the dates of all future planning days within seven (7) days of finding out when they are but no later than 1 week prior to school returning from summer break.

c.   Petitioner shall be required to email or fax Respondent at a minimum of a weekly basis by Sunday 9pm in the Petitioner's time zone information regarding the child including any time the child is planning to stay out of the parent's home. If the decision must be made within a week or less the petitioner shall send a separate email or fax noting all required contact information.

d.   Petitioner shall be required to email or fax Respondent a separate email or fax noting all necessary information such as type of illness, whether school will be missed, whether a doctor has been seen and any medication needed within 5 hours of the illness. If it is a severe illness or accident that would require hospitalization or a visit to the emergency room, a phone call shall be made in order to notify the Respondent within 2 hours.

e.   Petitioner shall be required to pay the amount owed within 180 days. The court award prejudgment interest.  Petitioner's wages shall be garnished for those amounts. If the Petitioner is unemployed, the Petitioner shall be required to seek employment. Until employment is obtained, the Petitioner shall pay the required amounts through the central governmental depository. The Respondent shall pay unaccompanied minor fees in advance of the flight for his parenting time. The Petitioner shall reimburse the Respondent for her half of the unaccompanied minor fees with 30 days of the child's flight to the Respondent. If payment is not received by the 30th day, $5 shall be charged to the Petitioner for every late day.  

f.   The court compel the Petitioner to comply with the prior order by not discussing issues related to the court with the child or in front of the child, not allowing the child to view documents related to the court, and not allowing the child to screen calls from the Respondent. The court require the Petitioner to attend a Parenting class.

g.   The court compel the Petitioner to comply with the prior order by not yelling at the Respondent when the child is in the immediate area (such as in the same apartment) and not acting out physically when the child is in the immediate area.  Additionally the court shall compel the Petitioner to leave voicemails that are appropriate when the Child is residing at the Respondent's location. The court require the Petitioner to attend a Parenting class.

h.   Petitioner shall be required to email or fax Respondent on a weekly basis by Sunday 9pm in the Petitioner's time zone information regarding the child. This communication shall include any information regarding the child's school (such as grades, absences, tardies, discipline and kudos), the child's medical condition, the child's extracurricular activities, any appointments she might have with a doctor or social worker as well as any other pertinent information. This would also be an acceptable time to discuss any major issues and any trips the child may take, if time allows.

i.   Petitioner shall be required to pay the amount owed within 180 days. The court award prejudgment interest.  Petitioner's wages shall be garnished for those amounts. If the Petitioner is unemployed, the Petitioner shall be required to seek employment. Until employment is obtained, the Petitioner shall pay the required amounts through the central governmental depository.

j.   Petitioner shall be required to pay costs and fees in connection with this motion. Petitioner shall be required to pay the amount owed within 180 days. The court award prejudgment interest.  Petitioner's wages shall be garnished for those amounts. If the Petitioner is unemployed, the Petitioner shall be required to seek employment. Until employment is obtained, the Petitioner shall pay the required amounts through the central governmental depository.

Hey Soc,

DH will be filing for several areas of contempt in the near future. I was curious about what your thoughts are about one specific issue.

BM calls our home, when she starts getting panicy, several times a day. Usually she will call and get the machine and not leave a message and then call back several more times within the same hour. After a while she will give up and leave a message. Obviously, we are not home when she does this and we can see this activity on out caller ID. This is only an issue because we have no way of telling SD to return her mom's calls if we don't check caller id regulary. As a side note, BM often allows SD to screen calls from DH and often doesn't give SD messages that DH calls. We have no proof but it is easy to tell. I beleive this is why she calls multiple time, because she thinks we are screening calls.

Anyway, DH and I bought SD a cellphone for her birthday. Now that Sd is with us, BM calls it several times until SD answers. I have activity recods from her cellphone and can see that it is probably her mother, but can not get proper evidence. This weekend BM called 6 times on SD cellphone and 2 times on our home machine on Saturday. She called SD's cellphone 4 times between 8:00 am and 8:30 am on Sunday called our home and called DH's cellphone before 10:30 that day. We were out of town and check home VM every day. We were sleeping in so we didn't hear her screeming message about what bastards we are until about 10:30am. Ofcourse we had SD call her mom ASAP. BM lives in Florida where Dennis hit and she was freaking out because she might DIE as she said in the voicemail to DH.

Anyway, Dennis aside, she does this all the time. She interupts our weekends and calls to pick the wounds stating how hard it is withour SD. DH just would like to limit the amount that she does this.

The parenting plan says " Each parent shall have the right to contact the child by telephone at the residence, or location of the other parent with reasonable frequency, during easonable hours, and for reasonable duration. Unless an emergency arises, "reasonable frequency" is defined as once per day"

1. Does this apply to SD's cellphone?

2. How can we get more defiative proof that she is calling it multiple times a day?

3. Can we have her phone records supeonaed for a contempt case?

4. Is the fact that Dennis came to her town enough of an emergency for her to contact her cell 10 times in less than 24 hours and our home/ cell 4 additional times?

Thanks Soc

BM refused to communicate with DH and she lives 1400 miles away, so she is the primary sorce of information, unless DH asks SD. SD is 14 and able to tell him about events and that type of thing, but he hates to put her in the middle.

Dh has a returned and unopened certified letter, a returned and unopened FedEx and a message on our machine by BM saying that she doesn't have to communicate with him at all.

1. What do you recommend that DH ask the court order? He will have to file contempt.

2. BM does not work a nd has not worked steadlily in over a decade. What are the chances that the court will order her to pay for legal and court fees related to the contempt? DH makes pretty good money now. Their order states that if a parent is found in contempt they MAY have to pay court costs and legal fees.



Thanks
Ref

Hey Soc!

I was posting on another board and someone mentioned that you said there were 3 elements of contempt. What are they?

Thanks
Ref

BTW, I think you are amazing. I can't imagine how many hours you have put into this site and how many people you have told it straight to.

It has been a year since Dh's new parenting agreement was in place. It states that major decisions such as medical, school, school trips and dances should be discussed between BM and DH so that they may come to a joint decision. BM is charged with starting the conversation because she is CP.

She is also to inform him if SD is ill to the point that she needs medical treatment or misses school.

SD has missed school. SD has had school trips and the such. SD has been invited to go to a special program in school that BM decided to turn down.

How does DH prove that BM never consulted him?

Thanks Soc

Hey Soc,

DH just got this crappy standard parenting plan and we can not, for the life of us, figure out what time he can put SD on a plane to see us this summer. I have attached a link to the standard plan. He does have a couple of miodifications but none speak of timing. He does get SD 15 days from the last day of school to 7 days prior to school resuming.

http://www.stephentholman.com/CM/OnlineForms/SharedParental.pdf


Could you help clarify?

Thanks for your help
REF

Hi Soc

I've asked this question on another board, but I am hoping to get your input.

Background:

DH lives in PA. BM and SD live in Fla.

DH has a new parenting agreement through mediation and signed by judge. In it it states that BM is to have SD for July 4th of this year. DH was to have SD for MLK, Jr. day this year. DH also may take visitation in the city where BM lives (city was specifically stated) on any weekend
with 7 days notice. In the summer BM is allowed visitation following the same rules as DH during the rest of the year.

A few days prior to DH's visitation for MLK, Jr. BM gave him hell saying that he was to give her all notice of any weekend visitation and that he ONLY was allowed to have SD for the day, not the whole weekend. After DH apologized SEVERAL times and admitted his stupidity, she allowed him to see SD for the weekend anyway.

BM has caused a ton of drama with visitation. Last problem we had like that was on Labor day weekend. BM told DH that she and SD were crying all the way to the gate. They even had to stop several times so they both could gain their composure. Amazingly enough, SD said that she was not that upset and that she was overreacting. She was happy from the time she got off the plane until her return to her mom.

BM wrote that she wants SD for her July 4th holiday and the weekend attached back in her town. DH is afraid that she will work on SD to not return.

Question:

 1. Would it be right to tell BM that she may have SD for the July 4th weekend so long as it is in our city seeing as that DH may only have weekend visitation in hers?


Thanks again for all you help
Ref

Hey Soc,

I am curious about this statute that I came across:

Fla. Stat. Ann. § 61.13(1)(a) (Supp. 2000) provides:

The court initially entering a child support order shall also have continuing jurisdiction to require the obligee to report to the court on terms prescribed by the court regarding the disposition of the child support payments.

1. Does this mean that DH can request an accounting of child support for BM?

2. What grounds would someone need to have to get this?

3. If she spends it on Alcohol and Cigs, what can DH do about it? In other words, does this thing have teeth?

Thanks!
Ref

I'm not sure what is going on. BM agreed to get paid her CS through the court and to an increase to a certain number. Now she has filed with the clerk to the increase but states that payments are to made directly to her.

Parts that confuse me are, there were 2 documents, the Supplimental Petition and the Stipulation and Agreement that she filed at the same time. She had them both notarized with the wording that they agreed on but after the fact whited the wording out and wrote in that payments are to go to her directly.

She never filed a certificate of service for these forms but she filed the forms (who knows which) with the court.

Her petition to modify has several, cosmetic errors such as the original date of the original CS order and the amount that DH makes.

So these are my questions,

1. Are the notorized documents valid if she alters them afterwards?

2. We are not sure which items that she filed with the court but are sure she didn't file a certif of service. When do people have to file these things?

3. Is DH technically served with these items if they were not properly notorized to begin with?

4. Is there any way he can file in agreement and then apply to have CS processed through the clerk within the next couple of months? What are the chances?

5. She sent him an unaltered copy of the Stipulation and Agreement that was notorized. It has everything that he was looking for. The only difference anyway is the method of payment. Can he sign that and have it notorized and submit that to the court? Would that do any good?

She stated before that she wanted CS payments sent directly to her because her check gets to her on the 3rd or 4th of the month instead of the 1st, so DH is constantly late in payment. He does not want to send her $ directly because she has lied to him, his lawyer and the judge constantly and he  is afraid she will lie about CS payments too.

6. Any other advice?


Thanks again. You are my hero

Ref

DH was served with modification of child support papers. The document that was delivered said that he has 20 days to answer.

1. Is that business days or regular days?

Thanks
Ref

I just posted yesterday regarding whether DH has to pay for old "medical" bills. The resposes I received were very interesting but opened a whole new can of worms.

1. The question of whether the social worker is a medical expense was brought up - DH has not yet seen an insurance statement on any of the visits, so we will have to look into that. I believe that that is her title and she works as a couselor for my stepdaughter, as far as I know.

2.DH just got through mediation(last year) to change visitation and the Escambia County Parenting agreement and shared responsibility statement was adopted. This is the hideous County agreement I sent a link to you about a couple of days ago. I will attach the link again to keep you from searching for it.

a. Does this change the terms of who pays for what? His old agreement says he is to pay half of dental and all of medical.

http://www.stephentholman.com/CM/OnlineForms/SharedParental.pdf


Thank you Soc and to everyone else out there!!

Hi again!
Dh just received a letter from his ex with medical reimbursement receipts dating back to 9/04.  These receipts are for a social worker that DH had no say in his daughter going to and it took months to even find out the social worker's name. In his parenting agreement he is supposed to be part of descision making on all medical and school etc matters. He is supposed to pay all uncovered medical costs.

1. How long does she have to give him receipts for these appointments is it is silent in his agreement?

Hi Soc..

My Dh has been working in the same industry for quite some years. He has made relationships and much more money because of it. He went from being at the bottom rung to a salesperson.

Child Support was set at a lower level and he just got out of negotiations to up the support based on his new income. No paperwork has been signed yet because his ex keeps changing things (what years each get the deduction and now she wants to received the money directly instead of thru the courts). Her lawyer is putting it together and sending it to DH.

The problem is, his industry is failing in our area. He has no college at all. He will be hard pressed to get a job even close financially to what he has now. His company maight be folding very soon.

He would like to change careers all together. I don;t think he has much of a choice. He will need schooling to do that . Honestly, he will probably need schooling anyway.  

Question:

How can he gather evidence that he can not get a job at the same rate?
What do you recommend him do about the paperwork that will be sent for his signature increasing the rate?


Thanks

BM is not confering with DH about medical or school issues as she agreed on and is court ordered from earlier this year. Last week we found out that SD is seeing a therapist and the only what we found out was through a bill in the mail.

I asked for advice on another board and they said that DH would have to prove that this discussion had not taken place. We have letters for BM from the past showing her trying to shut him out...even admitting to not allowing him to see the school records.

1. How do we collect the evidence that she did not confer with him? It seems impossible to prove that a conversation never happened.

Thanks Soc!

BM is now telling SD all about the court procedings and arguements she is having with DH.  She has convinced SD that DH is only out to damage her life and cause her upset. This is because she refused visitation and DH had to take her to court to get modification and he got everything (actually in mediation) he asked for.

SD is falling apart. She is emotionally being broken down. BM yells at DH over the phone and sayd things out of context like "SD is a WONDERFUL child!!" as if DH said that she wasn't.

Now SD doesn't want to fly up to see us during DH's labor day weekend because he is "taking her away from her family" and it is "too hard on [her] little body". These are verbatum things that BM has said to DH about other scenerios.

We have had trouble with visitation in the past and BM trying to maniipulate SD, but ever since the court case it has exploded. SD is a happy child with us and when there is no conflict.

They have been divorce 10 years, BM moved to Fla at the time of divorce. SD is 13.

1. What kind of evidence does a judge need to see to realize that SD is being horribly emotionally damaged? - Fla is a 2 party state for recording phone conversations.

2. Could we try to get a GAL or a counselor for SD through the court?

3. If it is found that BM is poisoning SD, what can the court do to protect SD?

Soc,

DH's mediation agreement states that he should be able to contact SD between the hours of 8:30am and 8:30 pm. His ex has shut off the phone and answering machine. The agreement also states that BM is to have SD call back immediately if a message is left. DH has left several messages with no return call.

Prior to her beng served, SD called here everyother day as noted on our 800# phone bill. Since it had reduced to once the following month and now up again to once every other week.

1. Do you have any recommendations on obtaining proof that this is going on?

2. BM has been hostile in the past in letters and voicemails. Will that help DH's case if he tried to file for contempt on this matter?

3. How convincing would our phone records be?

I appreciate your help

State: Florida

Mediation agreement states that the parties are to work out a child support modification between themselves, if that doesn't work it is off to mediation, if that fails it is to go to court. She has been very difficult to deal with and extremely demading.

She has voluntarily been unemployed/underemployed for many years and provided a financial affidavit that is completly fraudulent. She is demading that DH send his Financial affidavit. His lawyer claims that CS calculation only requires income and allowable deductions and a tax return should be enough. She does not want that and is demanding that he send her a list of assets etc.

1. Would the use of a site like salary.com be acceptable for imputing income?

2. Can DH deviate from state guidelines due to:
    a. Life insurance premium he is require to have per divorce agreement
    b. parenting time (has SD for over 2 months in the summer plus every other holiday)
    c. Child care in the form of camp in the summer
    d. Child tax credit
    e. travel costs (BM moved to FL from PA after separation. DH has been paying all costs but new visitation order allows for 3x as much visitation.

3. Is it likely that DH will be allowed to have the rights to the dependency exemption based on the fact that BM is constantly unemployed thus unable to use the exemption?

4. Do you agree that if DH sends only a tax return he is in complience to the mediation order that they "share financial information"?
 
5. If she is receiving TANF (temporary assistance for needy families), how does that effect the case?

6. When finalizing the agreement, do we just draft up a letter stating the support amount and conditions, sign with notary and submit to court or do we fill out specific forms?


Thanks for your help!!  

I was hoping to get you advice. I have gotten some from other boards.

DH went to mediation over vistitation and BM brought up CS change. The wording in the Mediation Agreement (now blessed by the judge) states that they are to work it our among themselves. If that doesn't work mediation and if that doesn't work, court.

It also states that they are to share financial info. No specifics.

BM has yet to ask for any information or make any attempt at contacting DH regarding this matter.

1. What are DH's responsibilities? Should he send her everything now or wait to see what she wants to see?

2. When does the clock start for retroactive CS in this case?

Thanks for your help

BM did not show to one of the scheduled depos. She claims that she told DH's attorney that she had a final exam and would not make it a week in advance.

The judge sanctioned her for the costs associated with the depo to be paid to DH.

She has asked the judge, informally, to reverse his decision.

1. If she did call to tell them that she would not go due to final exam, is that an exceptable reason to be a no show?

2. If yes, who should pay for the depo costs?

Dh is taking ex to court for contempt and modification of visitation. Ex is pro se. The judge ordered that they go to mediation which they are to pay for 50/50. The order also states that DH's attorney is to chose the mediator. Ex told DH that she will not show at deposition because she can't afford it and stated that she was going to put it in writing.

Prior to evey visitation, DH has to send notification 30 days in advance (liberal visiation w/ 30 days notice). He sent his over 70 days in advince for this summer. Ex just responded by letter and copied the Judge.

1. Mediator stated that he will not keep the appointment if fee is not paid. What will happen if fee isn't paid by ex?

2. What will happen if we pay, to be reimbursed later, and she doesn't show? (She already was a no show at a deposition)

3. Is she allowed to copy the judge on a common letter about visitation that does not directly involve the case?


You have helped me so much before. In case I didn't express it enough last time THANK YOU!!!!!!

DH is going for mediation in Florida and needs to fill out the "long form" of the financial affidavit.

1. Does he need to complete the expenses and asset portions of the affidavit for a matter like change in visitation or does that only apply to seperating marital assets?

thanks