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Topics - Sunshine1

#61
Second Families / Never gonna believe this.....
Jul 21, 2006, 04:13:53 PM
Yesterday my BIL and ex SIL had court yesterday to challenge or I guess it was contempt on the grandparents that have custody of their daughter.  BIL has regualr visitation, with daughter, ex SIL used to have supervised, now she gets nothing because Grandma is a control freak.

We used to have short term placement of her and wanted custody but Grandma has a county job and won..imagine that.

Anyway BIL is happy with his visitations, SIL is NOT for obvious reasons.

Fast forward...

At court, they were sent out 3 times by the judge to come to an agreement, apparently it was a screaming match in the court room (would have gave a kidney to see that one)!!  :)  Any way without me even being present in the court house, I was appointed as a supervising agent for the ex SIL and a mediator between all the parties.  I got the call AFTER court that I was the ONLY person that all the parties could agree on until a GAL was appointed from a different county....(because Grandma abuses her county job authority) this could take like 4 months or so, they are in no hurry I was told.

I had to do a visitation immediately yesterday for 2 hours and I have to do 3 in Aug. and 3 in Sept etc... I have to write a report each visit as well.

I got the job I was looking to get someday, without even being present at the hearing!???

This is good for all parties involved.  We all get to see her and I get to be the sound board for everyone.

Anything else??  LOL!!

We are taking off for vacation this week with all of our boys to the mountains!  We are so excited we can barely stand it!! Had to share the update!
#62
Second Families / Dipper...Here's a POA
Jul 11, 2006, 08:01:50 AM
Dipper we use the General POA in our house...and contrary to what SOC said all of our 3rd parties use it.  School, church, psychologist, Dr.s, dentist, police have (on occasion) taken it.  So it might work for you.

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/poaform.php

Our BM HATES it!

Hope this helps!  :)
#63
Second Families / Loong Week
Jun 28, 2006, 03:41:46 PM
After thinking about this non-stop all week, and sitting the boys down, we determined this was a lose lose situation if we revoked the summer visitation.  Yes she is mental, but we really have nothing to go on other that that one evening.  We can't afford to have her draw a motion because she will get what she wants anyways out of the judge we have.  

So we had the boys start therapy up again this week.  We found a new therapist and I LOVE her!!!  The last one, not sympethetic to our plight and actually thought the crap BM was pulling was "ok"!  WTF!

The questionaire that I filled out even had a spot for visitation arrangements, custody schedule, who's the crazy parent...etc..etc..LOL

She truly understood what was going on and I wasn't so sure she believed us until the boys sang like canaries!!  They told her EVERYTHING!  I was shocked.  Before it was like pulling teeth getting them to spill it but I really think this last stunt has put them over the edge.  My favorite SM moment was that younger SS wanted me in the room while he spilled...he actually requested it!  HA!  I'd like to put that in her hat!

She was really good at talking to them so I hope this gets us somewhere, even if its just to keep them sane and me out of the looney bin.  Next visit is just DH and the boys together, and she encourages us to talk over the session on the way home so we can all be on the same page...she was really cool, her only negative comment about BM was....from everything I am hearing from you and the boys is that BM has no real meaning to her life or direction in her life and she is bound and determined that she brings you down with her!

I just about kissed her!  All I wanted was some one to SEE it and actually SAY it out loud so I wasn't the only one that thought that!  The therapist did wonders for me.  I read somewhere..I think from 4honor or Mixed, living well is the best revenge and apparently we are living too well because it is driving her nuts!

The boys really like her and she explicitly told us that she would not do crisis therapy, she wants to see them in the good times and the bad.  So she gets to see them 2 times before they go to their BM's for 15 days and immediately after...think she'll see a change??

We are definately going to have conflict over the next month because younger SS auditioned for a play and he got a substantial part...his dream come true actually, but ALOT of the rehearsals are in that 15 day span (noone freak on me for activities sign up...both parents are CO to take them to whatever they are in, death in family only exception).  So we get to send a fun letter to her "getting paid by the hour" attorney...(no more free attorney Yee haawww) and get this hashed out before they go.

Drama, drama, drama!  Only 2,920 more days left of her!  LOL!!!
#64
Second Families / Told ya she'd pull....
Jun 23, 2006, 03:46:03 PM
some shit today!  AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!

Is choking someone to death in a rage of fury actually a crime?

So I go completely out of my mind last night because the kids wanted to get their BM something for her birthday on Sunday after we picked them up from 2 weeks with her.  I immediately shot that down...then 5 days went past.

I told them lastnight I would take them to the dollar store to spend their allowance on her.  They each spent about 5 bucks total.  I wrapped, I tied beautiful bows, there was a balloon, I even dipped into my PARTY LITE VOTIVES and made a nice satchel for her candle thingy one of them had purchased.  All and all I was pretty proud of myself for being a bigger person and doing this for the kids at 12:00 AM IN THE MORNING! I must have had too many looney pills that day because NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN will I do something nice for her!

So DH takes them this morning for her birthday visit, her BF picks up and all is fine and dandy until about 1 hr and 20 min to their arrival home!

CPS calls to do a follow up from WEEKS before that they had just today been able to get ahold of her to verify a complaint they received on the day after Memorial Day.  We thought this was all over...ooohhh noooo, they called her today to verify the story and she denied the entire incident, which the children were already interviewed weeks ago that it DID happen, but it was an unfounded account...great, nice, fine, move on....till tonight!

Exactly 15 minutes later the youngest SS calls hysterically crying his head off that he wants to live with his mother.  After that DH speaks to older SS and he also says he and his brother both want to live there but they couldn't tell him why or what happened and the reason for the crying.

DH just went now to retreive them with a neutral 3rd party, a guy he used to work with, because Lord knows I would find a way to a cell tonight if I went along!  She completely expects me to be there too.

What a psycho!  She completely ruined her own Birthday and traumatized these two and brainwashed them into thinking we were the ones that called CPS and the worker ASSURED her that is was NOT us that called on her and turned their entire day of fun into a pile of dog sh*t!!

I want to SCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMM!

Ok now to my questions...there is no order for summer visitation, it basically says you get EOW and 2 weeknights.  DH worked out a 7 week agreement for summer visitation but now would like to rip it up and throw it in the toilet after her little stunt this evening.

Can he do this?  No order stating summers, she has a free attorney, we can't afford one...well we can but then that means I gotta borrow some more money.  Which I do not want to do.  Judge sides with her EVERYTIME unless DH has an attorney.

How can he deal with this psycho?  She is mentally unstable but everytime we do anything about it, they say "she is not hurting the kids" (really, trully, she has muliple, provable, documented, mental disorders, I'm not just saying she is crazy)

I will have to post an update becasue DH is not back yet, and after that I am going to delete it....just in case

Thanks for the vent!  
#65
Second Families / One more DAY DIPPER!!!!!!!!!
Jun 14, 2006, 07:27:39 PM
Good Luck!  I know everything will go fine...how does his transfer of belongings go?  Is that also a battle?  Is she gonna let him take what he wants with him?  Our BM sent them with the clothes on their backs...nothing more...heck now that I think about it, I don't even think they wore shoes to the exchange. What a nut!

:)

#66
I forgot to update on SS and the Asthma dilema.  We had a follow up visit because we weren't aware of BM smoking around him (outside only we think but always sitting with the kids)  Dr wrote a note on a prescrip. pad, to not be in a smoking environment.  Sent it to new free gung ho lawyer that believes every word she says.  ( it was quite great, because her lawyer was unaware of any parenting plan, missed visits, or activities clause in the parenting plan and we happily faxed it on over to let her know that she was willfully violating them all)

Anyway she must of read it all and had a strong talkin to because she magically started taking SS to his activities.

Ok back to the the asthma.  SS gets back from weekend visit and is coughing up a storm, try to get it under control and finally after some in depth questioning find out neighbors had a bonfire, BM had a small party and was smoking all night around him AGAIN.  This time I couldn't get it to a happy comfort level so we made another appointment witht he Dr to see if we needed new meds or see a specialist.

Go to dr appt.  Tell him that the smoking is minimal (benefit of the doubt) but is around it, and about the bonfire.  Asked lots of questions because asthma is something I know nothing about.  Give me seizures, puking, fevers, broken bones, no problem..asthma..huh?

Today received a "letter" from doctor I CAN'T WAIT to forward to BM's attorney!!  It explained new meds, schedule, and irritants and a very stern absolutely NO SMOKING WHATSOEVER around SS.  Totally directed at the only person that does smoke around him and she knows it.  It ended in basically saying this is how it is and if you got a problem with it call me.  LOL  I love his Dr.  We have had him for 8 years now for my son, so he knows us very well.

It is a great letter and is great documentation to her total disregard for anyone but herself.

Just wanted to update on how "we" didn't get on her about it by writing to her and the Dr, who is an extremely invaluable person to have in your corner, told the BM she is stupid!
#67
Second Families / Need some input
May 17, 2006, 07:41:08 PM
Ok.  BF and SM have disappeared since last August.  Occasionally she decides to go off her meds and gives us a call.  BF hasn't seen kids since August as well. Super looong story and I will spare you and get to it.

Got a call this evening because BF is responsibile for insurance (but hasn't carried it for quite some time now)  DH has just recently covered my son because we just couldn't keep paying full amounts of dr bills and wait for CS to collect it..yuck.

SM is ALWAYS  the one that calls.  I NEVER get a call from BF EVER regarding ANYTHING.

Everything and anything must go through her.  Due to our history, I refuse to speak to the SM.  I wouldn't have any problem if she was mentally stable, but she isn't and just about anything I say to her gets me a police report in some fashion or another.

Ok now to the point of the post.  SM called this evening and left a very lenghthy message regarding a dr bill that they did not have insurance for.  They are tripping out because in 30 days it goes to collection....funny how urgent the matter is when it is their credit isn't it???

They are threatening me with court because the bill is in BF name.  Of which I did not do.  The hospital asks for who is the primary insurance holder and who is secondary.  I am secondary but the CP.  Hospital bills have been going to BF because he is the "responsible party".  Which is true, if there is no insurance he is responsible for 100% of the bill.

This is not my doing, its the hospitals, and frankly I am not willing to do them a favor after what we and the children have been through with these two crazies.

ok now to my gripes...

How do I deal with the SM interferring?  I am really tired of having to go through her, if I could ever speak to BF alone he is more than cooperative and reasonable when not under her spell. Sometimes I think he has no idea she calls at all.

I have more than enough proof that she is highly interferring and that no contact from BF is ever attempted, every call, every voicemail, and every email is sent and signed by her, actually she signs both of their names to her emails...from her work!  LOL..that one is my favorite.

Anyway anyone have some words of wisdom?  They (well her) are threatening me with legal action but how exactly does she have any say in the matter and why wouldn't their lawyer tell her that?  Confusing a bit.  


#68
Second Families / 2nd opinions please....long
Apr 24, 2006, 04:21:41 PM
Posted this to Soc..need my second families opinions too...

DH's divorce decree spells out visitation and then in a new paragraph says the following for summer visitation.

"During the summer months when school is not in session (June, July, and August) Respondent shall be entitled to one-half of the summer months as parenting time with the children. Respondent is entitled to uninterrupted parenting time witht eh children for two weeks at a time. Respondent must notify the Petitioner of the summer parening time that she will have the children no later than May 1st of every year. The parties shall cooperate with eachother in determining the summer schedule."

BM has never given us a schedule for the summer months we always ended up sending her one, and then that was that. She took her visitation for whatever we set up.

In Jan of 04 a parenting plan was drawn up and the judge signed it. in 04 we came to an agreement of a summer schedule, and in 05 quite a few drastic things went down between the homes and BM exercised 2 weeks in June and July but not in August due to a TRO.

We questioned this before, and the children were not in any kind of questionable harm when with her until summer of 05. In the parenting plan it does not spell out summer visitation, it gives for extra time as liberal and frequent for anything she wants them for with prior reasonable notice and to stop by if she is int he neighborhood to go for lunch or dinner or whatever and at the end of that order it says the following:

"This permanent parenting plan shall supercede all before it, and may not be modified and or re-evaluated within 24 months of its original date and approval by the court set forth herein. When such time has reached these requirements both parties shall seek mediation for any disputes or changes. At any point in thie this Permanent Parenting Plan may be changed with the consent of both parties and all modifications must be signed and dated by both parties therfore making it a legal document and filing it with the court."

We have always sent a copy of the summer schedule to the court admin for the file. there id now extremely high conflict between the parties and BM had sent us her mental evaluation for SSI rendering her a 40 out of 100 in mental status and a list of disorders that prevent her from working or completing everyday living duties. She is also unable to drive because she has a suspended license, which is limited now and has strict restrictions and times when she can legally drive.

DH is very against sending them for two weeks at a time now due to all the things that have been going on...(long list, will elaborate if you need me to, most of you are totally aware) BM has a free attorney, so avoiding court would be great if it is cut and dried. BM will start WW4 if it is not plain and simple.

Both children will also end up in summer school this year and there is a clear provision for this and it references their summer vacation, but not her summer parenting time, (exact wording)...

"In the event said children shall be required to attend school during summer vacation, parenting time for respondent shall be set up when said children have completed their educational programs"

Ok our questions now:

1. Given the wording of our orders, is the summer visitation cancelled out by the new parenting plan?

2. BM has not sent a schedule yet and probably won't, if the above question is yes, do we just carry on with the regular visitation?

3. Does the summer school provision imply that there is summer visitation or that we will set up something when they are done?

4. If we don't send a schedule and we send them for the weekend and she doesn't return them, would it be considered contempt?
#69
Second Families / 4honor...
Apr 24, 2006, 04:19:33 PM
I remember you telling a story about you having your children hammering nails into a good decision board and a bad decision board...was that you?

If so can you tell me how that went again?  If not....anyone know who that was?

Thanks!
#70
Second Families / What an idiot!!!
Apr 19, 2006, 06:00:17 PM
I was just washing the kids' clothes from BM's house.  They were on the bottom of the basket.  When I lifted all the other clothes off of theirs I immediately smelled smoke!  BM has quit on and off and for the most part smoking was not an issue.  It isn't the smoking that is the issue really, could care less, go ahead kill yourself faster..whatever.  

The issue is that she is smoking around SS and he has asthma.  What is with this woman..DUUUUHHH!  I asked the boys if she smoked around them and they both confirmed (like it wasn't any big deal) "well yeah, all the time!"

So anyone have an eloquent way of informing her that smoking around a child with asthma is stupid?

Kids go for the weekend so we would like to accompany the visit with a letter letting her know how dangerous it is for him.

Any suggestions?
#71
Second Families / Busted!!
Mar 28, 2006, 08:19:05 PM
I gotta write this down and tell someone or I am going to explode!!  Ok tonight Bm showed up with her BF for visitation..in her van.  The only way for her to bring that there is if she actually drove it to her BF house and then he drives to exchange (they live 40min apart).  She has a suspended license, but has currently acquired a "limited license".

If there is a way for this slimy, coniving,PBFH woman to get around the law, she will!  It is unbelieveable!  Anyway, back to this evening.  I asked the boys if the BF car was at the BF house, one said no and one said yes..hmm any coaching there?  One of them can't lie if his life depended on it.  

So I call her town dispatch,to report the unlicensed driver and to see if they would actually tell me when and if she can drive.  I'll be damned if it wasn't Christmas here tonight!!!

I had one chatty dispatcher, I will tell you.  She told me EVERYTHING! I couldn't believe it!  She READ the screen to me (man I wish I would have taken short hand, I tried desperately to write everything down)  She gave me addresses to the schools her kids attend, daycares, HER JOB, days and times for her restrictions, where and when, and my favorite, she must carry an itinerary with times and where she is going at all times or she will be ticketed... you name it I got the entire story on her!  WhoooHOOOOOO!

I think that social security would be interested to know that she is working somewhere!

I am pretty sure she was pulled over tonight as her driving this evening did not fall into her itinerary.  I told them her route and they were going to watch for her.  The dispatcher told me that if she keeps getting tickets, while driving out of her assigned times, she will have to beg and plead to get her license back, they will revoke it soon.

Aaahhhh that feels better to get that out!  Thanks everybody!

"Don't understand"...where the heck are you?  You have been extremely quiet these days!
#72
Second Families / As always...more fun...
Feb 26, 2006, 06:05:44 PM
My head is going to explode.  Just got a 5 page letter from mother of the year on how she REFUSES to give ss his medication for Asthma and the medication he just recieved for a sinus infection. He just spent the entire week last week home from school and did not receive any of his medication that was sent along over the weekend for him to get better.  More than likely he is going to be home AGAIN tomorrow because he still feels like crap because he didn't get any medication.  She also says she will be getting a box of medication for her home so we do not need to send any.  

Her license is suspended again and she told the boys she would take them to Chuck E Cheese if they stopped telling Dad that she was driving them places.  They do NOT lie about stuff like that, especially younger SS,  it burns in him like a fire and he just can't wait to tell on her to DH, sometimes he can't even make it all the way to the car without blurting something out about her.  She was caught again at the exchange but got away with it because the officer didn't actually "see" her drive there.  He said it is obvious that she drove there but she will not be leaving from there.  We had to wait 45 minutes for her to get a ride.

I am so tired of her crap.  Now she is medically neglecting her own child because she is pissed off at DH.  Does that make any sense?  I could just scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#73
Second Families / Counting my chickens....
Feb 18, 2006, 08:37:49 PM
and it feels GREAT!!!  I got some insider information from BM's Daddy #2 yesterday.  Seems that Daddy #3 broke up with her right about after Christmas, which is scary I could totally tell the time frame when he did it too, just how she has been acting.  I cannot TELL you how happy this makes us!!  YEEEEEHAAAWWWWW!

Now you are all probably wondering why?  Well I am going to tell you why!  BM is totally on her own now, when she is on her own she doesn't have the steam to terrorize our lives, the children's lives, and so on and so forth.  She has slowed her EOW torture of the children quite considerably and has been pretty pre-occupied with other things to even interrogate the boys when they are there...and this is why.

Seems she has found herself a new love.  Another winner.  We had a run in with his parents over the summer ordeal of the assaults, and I can tell you I am sure the apple does not fall far from the tree I imagine.  The BEST PART OF THIS WHOLE STORY IS........  Ta da dat tda....... issssss he lives in another STATE!!!  

She is with him as I speak and I don't mean an 8-10 hour trip, I mean like she is 3 days away!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
She has missed 7 visits and one more weekend skip we get to send a letter that unless she gives us a 2 day notice, the boys will not be there.  Seeing as she refuses ALL certified letters that are not in DH own handwriting, I probably think she will go on skipping them for quite some time.

All and all I am (and DH) are extremely thrilled that the drama has subsided for the last 4 weeks.  Man is that nice!  I found out all kinds of stuff from Daddy #2.  We are now waiting for Daddy #3 to give us a ring any day now.  I am positive he's got some things to say about her.

Oh I almost forgot, did I mention that this guy actually is "stationed" in this new state and if he sweeps her off her feet enough I can totally see her moving.  That would be my Christmas, easter, birthday, mother's day, father's day, flag day, presidents day for the next 5 years!!!!!  Everyone cross their fingers that all my praying for a miracle has been heard!

I am happy dancing, even if it is only for a couple weeks!!!...Hey, I'll take what I can get after Tuesday's fun with my EX!
#74
Second Families / What do you do when...
Feb 13, 2006, 10:54:19 PM
The BF up and one day announces that he would like their SF to adopt them and he would like no more financial obligation or them in his life anymore?

That was the interesting call I recieved today.  He hasn't seen them for over 6 months and before that it was another 8 months.  His wife/SM is definately the root cause of most of our conflicts as she is bi-polar and can not control it, if medicated, she is usually good but she doesn't take them regularly so we never know what kind of fun day is in store when  the kids go for parenting time.

We recently went back to court to modify support to reflect the needs of our children (both special needs) and the judge thought it was also best that the children not be alone with her for any amount of time.  It got too difficult for BF to keep her happy and take the kids at the same time....so he opted to just not take them.

What the hell do you say to an offer like that?  One part of me is ecstatic I could be rid of these 2 nightmares, but most of me wants to just spit on him because I think he is a disgusting pig for wanting to give up his children.  I know I can be a pain in the ass, but I am not that big of a pain in the ass to make you want to walk away from your children.

This was a father who went to everything, did everything, ate dinner with us, hung out with my husband fixing cars, attended school conferences, football games that we car pooled to, dr appts, you name it, he was usually there.

The moment this woman came into his life it all went to hell in a hand basket in a matter of months.  I just don't get it.  How does someone decide this?  This thought would never cross my mind in 10 billion years!!  Seriously people?  How do you come to a conclusion of wanting to give your children??

I don't know if I can do it, how do you tell your 9 year old that your dad gave you to your step dad when he worships the ground he walks on?  WTF!!!@!!@##$@%@%$%$^^%^$%#$!!!!!!!!

#75
Maybe this is a rant or vent but it is getting totally irritating!  I just went to make a Dr. appointment for SS.  BM/NCP has once again changed all their information to her address.  This is like the 50th time we have had to tell them NOOoooooo.  They don't live there, can you please stop changing the address. If you want the bills paid you better send them to his home address.  

Now I wonder when the last time she changed it was...it must have been to see the doctor at some point...and for what?  Most doctor visits while with her concern injuries of some sort!

How do you get the clinic to stop changing their damn address!!????
#76
Second Families / REFUSED!!!
Dec 21, 2005, 04:00:19 PM
Yeehaaaww!!!  BM refused the certified letter today informing her that we are leaving the state during the children's week off of school.  I was extremely worried that she even knew we were leaving because I knew she would cook SOMETHING up to prevent our trip.  but according to the Parenting plan I HAD to tell her 7 days in advance.

Now she has no idea what day we are going because we told the kids a different day (just in case), and no idea where we are staying!

I am so happy I could just scream!!!!!  Merry Christmas to me, Merry Christmas to me, Merry Christmas Dear Sunshine!!!!  Merry Christmas to me!!!!!!!!!!!!:7
#77
Second Families / How to decompress???
Dec 05, 2005, 06:59:58 AM
Ok.  Most of you know my ever growing unbelieveable story here.  I have finally hit my limit.

Everything we do BM does the exact opposite.  I am wondering if I should do reverse psychology, but she is so mentally ill, it won't work.

I tried to send homework, do you think it got done?  NO!  Instead we get a two page letter on DH parenting skills and she disagrees with his expectations.  I want to choke her.  couldn't she just for once DO the damn homework???

I am so at my wits end I want to just leave DH!  It would be so much easier to just move away and let him deal with her.  He won't do ANYTHING to combat her idiotic behavior.  Not that it would do any good but I just wish he would do SOMETHING!

Thanks for the vent!!!!!!!!!
#78
Second Families / Busted Update...
Nov 19, 2005, 03:28:53 PM
Well last night was exchange night and DH decided to confront BM about the cellphone bill that she now supposedly pays.  He loaded the kids and then when they were out of ear shot he asked her...so, ahh is your lawyer going to give me a call for your share of the cellphone bill?

Her expression was priceless..she just looked dumbfounded, she smirked and said, ahh, I don't know and shrugged her shoulders and jumped into her car, and drove off very quickly.

Well he must of flustered her big time because instead of getting into the left hand turn lane she ended up in the first lane of ON COMING TRAFFIC!!  She had to hurry up and back up in the middle of an intersection to get in the left lane or she would have been pegged by a truck coming at her!  Any other day I would have said Halleluia!  But my kiddos were in the car so I was relieved she corrected herself.

I love when liars are exposed, and there is nothing they can do but stick their head in the sand and hope it all goes away.  I am afraid that just ain't gonna happen this time.

Sunday should be a treat.  :D
#79
Second Families / More Fun....(long)
Nov 06, 2005, 06:56:17 PM
I think we should just call this page "SUNSHINE'S BOARD".  LOL!

Ok, well someone (BM) is obviously pissed off that her car was towed last Friday....and she is aware that we were involved.

This evening she refused to surrender custody to me because DH was working, even though the court order strictly prohibits her from doing so, the cop wouldn't do a damn thing to enforce it.  She refused to release the children to me unless DH was along.  I got that whole statement on video camera as well..AND she made DH leave work to come and get them a half an hour away.  Even though I have Power of Attorney to act on his behalf.  That makes me him when he can't be there, the damn cop still wouldn't force the transfer. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

After he got there DH had had it.  The kids came out of the police station and then she tried to call them back to do her "goodbyes" of which she had 40 extra minutes past her scheduled time, DH told them to get in the car, she was on his time now.  Her time ended at 6:00.  (I love it when he tells her off.. doesn't happen very often)  

They got in MY car and we left while he sat there and told her...make sure this is what you really want, because this works both ways.  No more boyfriend picking them up either.  I don't think she thought of that but she agreed to it in front of the officer.  Officer was very nice and felt bad that he couldn't enforce anything.

Next comes the horror story of this weekend.  My SS's went through hell this weekend with her and any quick advice would be appreciated.

BM is clinically mentally ill, but nothing we can do about her mental instability because she has done nothing to the children until NOW.

Boys proceeded to explain that first the oldest was grounded because he wouldn't give her the pin code to his cellphone. (actually kind of proud of him that he didn't crack, but how awful his experience).  Next the children were sat down today to fabricate stories about me on videotape about things I do to them.  She told them what to say, and they were under the impression that they were making a movie of some sort, but later she told them that she was going to "use it when she needed to, to get me arrested".  What a nice thing to say to a 7 year old huh?

Next, the 8 year old was told to write a letter in his handwriting and she told him what to write, everything from the pictures of the car on the tow truck, to I beat and torture them.

My SS's had the worst weekend of their lives.  The 7 year old also said that she wanted to keep them another day until Monday and he told her that he had school tomorrow and she didn't get another day.  We think she was trying this evening to get them to stay so she could present all her fabricated evidence to Social services in the morning.  Sounds like what she was trying to do anyway.  Well that part didn't work, but what about all this crap that they just made up on tapes?

The kids obviously need to start seeing a psychologist about this stuff.  This is getting out of hand.  She has nothing on me, I don't beat them, I don't do anything to them, I certainly don't make them say crap on tapes for cryin out loud.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to stop using the kids to get to me, this can't be very mentally healthy for them to go through every other weekend.

We have a lawyer and I am sure he will be overjoyed with the latest news.  
#80
Second Families / Aaannd, hearing # 3 is over!
Nov 02, 2005, 04:09:44 PM
Well it took 6 hours but the county decided to plead my assault down to a petty misdemeanor with a fine and be done with it. (She whined and cried that she couldn't afford her fine so my surcharges were waived and she was set up on a payment plan and still ended up paying 25.00 more than me) BM got the same deal, which I am shocked that she took it actually, being the victim and all.

She was up to her old tricks again, she told the prosecutor that I flipped her off in the courtroom, of which noone else saw, court reporter, bailiff, interpreter, judge, his assistant, and the 3 other attorneys in the room.  Oh, did I leave out that I never even entered the courtroom?  I had to have a bailiff follow me around the rest of the day to "watch" me. *eyeroll*

Well I received sweet justice when we left the building though after all was said and done.  BM has a suspended license and continues to drive where ever the hell she pleases.  It is getting really irritating.  She made dang sure that we were gone before she attempted to leave, and we would have never saw her either, but to add more drama and effect, she had a bailiff escort her out to her car, (fearing I will attack her of course), if it weren't for him we would have missed her.  She proceeded to get into her neighbor's nice 90's type Cadillac and drive away.  Our lawyer told us to call 911 if she drove...so we did.  

Man were the patrolmen fast, we got about 5 miles away and then two sheriff's sped by us and nodded to us as we pointed her out on the road and I just about peed my pants laughing.  She was pulled over with lights and sirens and they towed her NEIGHBORS car and she had to get a ride with the tow truck driver.

What a nice ending to a crappy day at court...Happy Halloween to me! Her total in fines were now added up to 625.00 for driving and her assault fine. :)

Does anyone know how many driving after suspensions you need to get before your license is revoked?  She is rounding # 3.

I am all done with court hopefull for this year!  thanks for everyone's support.  We are heading to a beach for Christmas vacation with all the kids after the year we have had!  I can't WAIT!!!!!
#81
Second Families / Hearing # 2 DONE!
Oct 22, 2005, 04:33:03 PM
I was actually looking forward to this last hearing. Man am I glad I had my lawyer along. He caught SM twice for lying to a cop to try and have me arrested.

Brief re-cap:

BF and SM and I just went through a year long court battle to modify some things in our J & D. Meanwhile SM became totally crazy and had tried to kill herself several times and so on and so on and basically has made our lives hell since a week after their marriage. 4 days after the new order came...on came the TRO and for once, I had not done anything or even spoke to them to get a TRO.

Fast forward:

My lawyer served her (SM) up and ate her for lunch and then spit her out and then the judge fried her back up and ate her for dessert! We went all throught their evidence first, she went on and on about the GAL report this, and the GAL report that, which none of it was relevant because the GAL report was thrown out and the final orders (which are in another county) were final and mentioned nothing of what the GAL had to say.

She was extremely snotty to my lawyer and kept asking my lawyer questions while she was up there, and she tried her darndest to be Perry Mason, but it just wasn't going well for her. The judge said "Ma'am, you don't get to ask the questions"..."your being questioned, so answer the questions please." (I wrote that all down word for word as he was saying it, her look was priceless!)

They tried to set me up twice by lying to the cops about our court orders and had a county attorney actually working on it that I have a warrant set up. My lawyer caught her lying several times it was just unreal.

I also had a witness from my place of employment that testified she has heard conversations of her calling me at work, all of our work phones are recorded so it was easy for my co-worker to hear them, she gladly testified to her craziness and of her calling me constantly at work.

My wiener ex didn't have much to say, he let her do all the talking on his behalf again. I couldn't believe it. He just sat there. My lawyer had fun questioning him though. He admitted that he doesn't take any phone calls from me and that he intentionally makes me speak to his wife, and he thinks it is ok for her to make all the decisions. Judge wasn't happy about that at ALL.

My lawyers summation was beautiful, he said judge, we have the right parties here but the wrong plantiff. Plain and simply it is in fact her (SM)harrassing my client.

The judge said there is no way I am opening another case in this county because this case should be in my county, it should also be in family court, and then he turned to SM and said Ms. XXXX, you need to stay out of it. Keep your nose to yourself, these two people have children together and there should be no reason for the two females to ever speak to eachother, as he was looking at BF. Then he looks at her and said I do not believe BM has done anything wrong, and this proceeding is dismissed. He then looks at SM and said, the SM is the problem in this case, and stay out of it. So, I was pretty happy to the outcome of this one. After court they vanished into thin air, I bet he slept on the couch that night.

....and another no show for visitation..which I am kind of glad they didn't go, I can't imagine what she would have said to them this weekend.
#82
Ok some of you know or may not know that BM and I (SM) were in an altercation this summer over something VERY stupid.  Rather than debate her I simply told her she can speak to DH about it and I went to shut my door during an exchange.  One child was already in her car and the other was in the kitchen with me, she told me she would not be speaking to him and before I could get the door shut she pushed the door and me down our stairs and attempted to get in...blah blah blah...

Long sotry short we were both charged with 5th degree assault and our trials are still in the works.

Fast forward.... there were TRO's granted on both of us and we are to have "no contact" is all the order says, no distance away from eachother nothing just no contact.

Ok last week there was an exchange, I accompanied 1. because DH refuses to go alone. 2. I exchange my children down the road just a half an hour later.  I DID NOT  come in contact with her by being in the car and I even consulted a police officer BEFORE the exchange to see if it would be a problem, in fact we were about 25 to 30 yards or so from her and the dang exchange is at a police station..does anyone see a problem here???  I was told as long as we didn't "come in contact" with eachother or approach the other it was ok.  (our exchanges are in a different town..half way points)  We were saving on gas AND my exchange is right after...seems logical right?

Not even 30 minutes went by and the police contacted me, they said that they were getting the orders faxed and if I had violated the orders he would call me back otherwise, he didn't need to bother me.  I said OK.  I did not get a call.

Pick up on Sunday, same routine, except she was not present, her boyfriend brought them and we had a civil standby this time.  I never even glanced in his direction.

TODAY!!!   I was served with a motion to change the TRO for me to have NO CONTACT  with even the children at their events..any events, nothing.  She is asking that I not be allowed to attend any "games, conferences, programs, field trips", you name it,  anything concerning the children I not be a part of.. and it gets better...she is requesting that "I have no third party contact of any kind, her kids (my ss), her EX husband (my current husband) and ANY family member they share jointly or anyone or anyother possible third party she knows".

*WTF* is she seriously putting a no contact order on MY husband and her children?  Has she totally lost it?

Ok I have vented, now what the hell am I going to do?  Is it possible for her to make sure I never be a part of the children's lives again?  LOL when I write it out it sounds stupid but when I read her affidavit over and over I'd like to go over there and choke the living crap out of her!!!!

I am the custodial step-mother.  If you really wanted to compare nuts to bolts I am actually their primary care taker, yes I know Step moms don't mean shit and I should let the BM parent how she likes and blah blah blah, and I would,  if she EVER participated a day in her life and didn't suck off welfare and Social security and defraud every Govt. agency known to man.

The only thing I got going for me on this one is her attorney is on a leave of absence and my court date is during that time and I have an attorney who has to DRIVE an hour and half which right there cost me 400.00 and another probably 1000.00 to open his mouth.

Please give me some words of wisdom to fend off the spawn of satan herself.  I mean it,  I really think she was born of Lucifer, there is just no other explanation for this woman.

HELP before I am put in a straight jacket!!!!!
#83
Second Families / Missed visits...
Sep 10, 2005, 08:27:31 AM
After 16 scheduled visits, and only showing up for 2, how many more do I have to go to before enough is enough? So I can save the heart break, tears and gas money driving to meet a dead beat parent?

I would just like to know how long we must put up with this crap!!!
#84
Second Families / Drivers license suspended...
Aug 31, 2005, 12:22:54 PM
Ahhh, sweet bliss that finally BM has had some kind of a rule implemented on her, except... like I should be surprised, she is still driving the kids around during her time..

She always covers her bases though, she lives in another town so she drives to her boyfriends house, then he brings them to the drop off point, then she drives back home.

Anyone have any ideas on how she can be caught?

#85
Second Families / TRO help
Jul 26, 2005, 01:43:01 PM
I posted this on Soc's board, I am just wondering if anyone else has had an altercation with an abusive BM...any suggestions are appreciated

Background info:

BM/NCP came to pick up for second half of summer vacation. We had purchased a cell phone for the children to take along so we could speak to them as well as they would have access to call 911 in case of an emergency. BM in habit of leaving kids alone and she has no phone. Kids instructed to call for help if left alone.

BM sent child back to the door with the phone and would not allow it, even though she wrote an email thanking us for getting them one for her to also communicate with them.

I told her she could wait for DH and she could discuss it with him and I went to shut the door. She shoved open the door and pushed me down a flight of stairs. She went totally crazy and long story short we now have a TRO on her and are due in court next week for it.

In late June we were provided (voluntarily) a psych eval she had done on herself and is trying to collect SSI due to the results and get out of child support. We have NEVER had an incident like the one I just described with her EVER. As far as we knew she was just evil but has some serious diagnosis.

I have been out of work since the accident and I have multipy injuries due to the fall, to my knowledge she has very minor to no injuries because I fought back.

We are both being charged for assault even though she broke into my home and induced bodily harm.

My questions are:

1. At the TRO hearing what should I ask for to keep it from being dismissed? We already know she has a mental health history, anything we can ask for to get concrete evidence that she is not fit to have children around her?

Any further help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated!!
#86
Second Families / Child placement...
Jul 05, 2005, 07:40:56 PM
Has anyone or has anyone known someone that has had a niece, nephew, or a cousin placed with them through social services?

We are curently in the loop with grandparents to have a child placed with us permanently due to the parents not abiding by court orders or they just plain can't raise the child and drugs are a factor as well.
I was just looking for some tips on how to better my home and get it ready for an inspection...

Anyone have some ideas?  I'll take it!!

Thanks!!  :)
#87
Maybe when I'm dead all the chaos will stop...and even then I think it would continue "up there".

New dilema.  PBFH has petitioned to have CS "suspended" for 90-120 days due to an alleged assault and now suffering from Post Traumatic Stress syndrome...(yeah right, we won't get into that) in her affidavit it says.."I am simply not able to cope with work and the children".

How on earth would you take that?  She can't deal with both or one or the other or what??

She is already looney tunes but we have never been able to prove anything because I swear if you asked her if the sky was purple and she said it was, a lie detector would say she was telling the truth.  She is quite the actress and the judge in our case is always on her side.

Now our dilema, kids are to go for first 2 week summer visit tomorrow, knowing what we know for only a few days, would you let them go or would you file something to finally get a psych eval done on her?  This can of worms is not something we really want to open, but we would really like to get the psych eval done to make sure she is competent to be watching the kids.  Well she is a horrible parent, but this just adds to the list of things we are concerned about.

Any suggestions? We are in for a mighty court battle if we go ahead with the "post poned visit" until we see or get to the bottom of this.  She has an unlimited free lawyer BTW, and we would have to hire one.  What would you file a restraining order?  A motion for supervised visits and psych eval?  Need help, any help, suggestions, good or bad...

Thanks!
#88
Second Families / UNREAL!!
May 19, 2005, 05:01:24 PM
BF has already given up Father's day!  I just don't get it.  I guess all I can say is finally they will get to spend the holiday with the man that gives a crap about them and takes care of them everyday!  

I can't even put into words how I am feeling right now.  Psycho step moms suck!

Thanks for the vent!
#89
Yesterday was interesting! God has to be listening!  Little backgound:  BF has a new wife.  She is bi-polar and we (me and kids) are her target at all low times.  BF had a restraining order on her but later dropped it, I had a restraining order and my lawyer screwed it up but she had been kindof careful not to come near me anymore.  That was all in Oct.

Got assigned a guardian, who spent exactly one minute on our case.  They lied their a$$e$ off and she believed every word. (Bi-polar people are MASTER actors, and can twist anything into roses).  Needless to say the guardian didn't believe me.  Her dr. the guardian interviewed said she hadn't had any relapses in over a year and she was a model parent.

Since the order SM has been in full swing.  After the guardian's report I knew she did not look deep enough into her background so I took it upon myself to dig even deeper.

I just received about 7 reports from BF on her and his concern for his other children.  She has been admitted twice and the last time was in DECEMBER of 04 and the Sheriff spoke directly with the doctor the guardian interviewed and had her admitted on a 72 hour mental hold...but no relapese in over a YEAR??!!!?!

I am livid!  That guardian should be fired!  Anyone have any suggestions at what kind of recourse I can take against her?  Write a letter, call her boss?  What should I do??  Meanwhile SM has had about 34 suicide attempts and one in Oct. she almost succeeded, but hey that is not considered a relapse!!

I am desperate for any help.  This woman has some serious issues, although the BF has stopped reporting her, I know there is still major things going on there.  The children have to be hurt for anyone to listen to me.

I guess this is a vent, thanks for listening, but most of all I want that guardian's butt on a platter!!!!!
#90
Second Families / Losing my mind...HELP!!
Apr 07, 2005, 02:09:43 PM
I have recently been in a court proceeding with my children's BF.  It is a nightmare!!  The SM is clinically depressed as well as bi polar and has attempted to her life SEVERAL times and is now on to threatening mine (BM) and our children.  

Long story short the GAL AGREED she had a long mental health history, she AGREED that she threatened our lives, she AGREED that the incidents that I described occured, but DIDNOT see anything wrong with her having children in her care!

They lied through their teeth right down to changing the parenting schedule that we had and fabricating it to what they really wanted and said that was how it had been for X amount of years.

It is unbelievable!!!  Now since the GAL report is in and in their favor, of course they think this is all over and I am supposed to hand over the children.  Now I am all for them seeing their BF, never blocked, never alienated, never nothing, always supported their relationship with their dad, I just don't trust the SM.

I have been through this before with my DH EXW, but I must have amnesia because for the life of me I can't remember what comes next, do I file a motion?  I have some stipulations I would like added to the order if they are to go back there, but he won't agree to anything.

I am at my wits end trying to compromise and be the bigger person.  I have prayed my brains out trying to find the right path, but my gut keeps saying, get some rules in place, get some rules in place, so they are protected while at their BF's house.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to combat 2 liars and a GAL that bought their story hook, line, and sinker?


Any and all suggestions welcome!