Messages

Yes your right I had to go look at the paper again. The $500 was taken out later in the equasion my mistake.
Problem with the case I'm taking about (my boyfriend order) was that a judge never saw it to reveiw in court. I was done by the support agency with info provided by the GAL the support agency never asked a single question assuming the GAL had her facts strait when she in fact did not she was only aware of the child in question. the GAL never returned any phone calls (and still to this day won't) he has now asked for a reduction due to the fact that vaid mistakes were made in the order due to the misinformation submitted. He actually makes less than he did the year before due to over time issues and they did not add in the other child so 2 mistakes. He is not complaining about having to pay for his child at all just that the ammount is from what I did following that same proceedure is about more than $100 off give/take per month (that doesn't even include the fact she did not report some income of her own or the fact she included non work related child care expences personally, he likes the idea the child spends less time with the woman and more time with a licensed provider for reason we won't dive into here.) We won't be able to get this in front of a Judge for 6 months and by that time due to the current situation we may very well end up with custody of this child and him paying would be a mute point. Like I said previously this was all rushed through with out any questions asked so he was not able to state he had another child. He was not even given the proper forms to fill out till he went and got them himself to make the corrections.

Also yes the majority of the support goes to the first child which I think is a little messed up with in itself. Yes that probably works in cases where a parent has 3 kids with the same woman but in a case where a man has 2 kids with 2 seperate woman the second child gets slighted. In this case he had custody of this child she pulled a nasty and accused him of abuse/neglect as that is being proven untrue she has the child and gets support (as well she should) untill the situation is resolved. In that time we together had a son of our own before the support was in place. I could pull a nasty and file for support of my own because we are not married but that would screw things up some and cause an even bigger paper work mess. I actually have seen woman who know how to play the system have 3 kids with 3 diffent men so they could collect the max amount of support for each child. There is just something nasty about that to me. I understand why they calculate this like that because it was the dad decision to have another child so why should the other child pay, however in cases like this when dad had custody and decided to have another then loses custody of that child and already has another both children should be considered equally.

>Take a course in statistics before you embarrass yourself further

I'm not the poster you were refuring to but I have myself taken several courses in statistics. The first thing you learn is 99% of stats are usually made up. Meaning it depends on who did the study and what they wanted the outcome to be. If your getting your info from HSS which you are they are the ones running the program so the stats are going to be in thier favor due to the questions they want to raise. Yes it may in fact be true that monies are being collected at an 89% rate what that doesn't tell you is it fair. It just simply tells you it is collected.

The origional poster did not ask if people PAY child support, the origional poster asked if it was WORKING for you. The majority said no. Your looking at the wrong stats for the topic asked.

To truely evaluate the question here you actually have to look at the child support formula itself. In WV (not sure how it works elsewhere) what they do is take the total income of both parents. The deduct from that $500 for each parent as personal living expences. Then they deduct for children who are not appart of the equasion that the parent is suppose to be supporting (they get that number from a previous equasion done with that other childs parent) They then deduct child care expences, and medical expences that occur every month.
When that part is done they take the leftover income and find what each parent is responcible for baised on 100% so say mom has $500 left and dad has $1000 left that is $1500 that will go to support that child. When that is worked out mom will be responcible for less because she makes less.

Now if there is a mistake in one of the steps say a nother child is left out that parent has a larger amount of money he is responcible for which makes the amount he is paying unfair. He is now legally responcible for more than he should be. Even though he pays it he is paying more than his fair share. This is not reflected in your stats. So according to your stats he is paying so it is working, money is being collected so the system workes, not hardly. His other child is going without a child born before this equasion was in motion and use to a certian lifestyal is now had his standard of living go down to make another childs standard of living go up.

My point in a nutshell is yes NCP are paying. That doesn't mean the system works just that money is being collected at higher rates than before. Is this good, not if the foundation and basic equasion has errors in it. When you take into consideration human error and delibrate false accounts of money by either side (either parent not accounting for income or more income added in than should be) is when the system fails and there is nobody who has done stats on that, to my knowledge at least. There really cannot be because I don't think any parent is going to volenteer they are paying baised on the false info they provided. I don't think someone like by boyfriends ex is going to say hey I didn't provide tips and o/t info so he is paying more than he should.

I think that one can logiclly say a NCP should support a child based on thier income and ability to pay. However I have seen extreem cases where NCP had to live in a car to make support payments because they were so high although rare, it does happen. I have also read cases where the other children of a NCP went without necessities because support was too high and the judge would not change it. To be fair I have also heard of cases and know people who's ex got away with the disappearing act and worked off the books jobs just to get out of supporting thier children. I actually heard one woman tell me she was owed $30,000 in back support and couldn't find the dad.

 In my boyfriends case they did not take off for the other child he has, they counted 100% of his over time for the past year which he doesn't get now, and they took off for the ex's other child  and didn't even count the tips she makes as a waitress, plus the allowed her to deduct daycare expences that she uses not for work purposes but so she can go out parting. Fair not hardly. Yes we have been trying to bring it to court but the wait is 6 months so we are stuck with it now. This was all done very on the sly the GAL sent it to the child support agency who rushed it through and asked no questions. When called they responed that the GAL never told them about the other child or any child related expences, they only handed the agency his W-2 form. Kinda sneaky and nasty huh?

Relax take a deep breath and stop obsessing over it. I know easier said than done. I had to take and IQ test allong with the MMPI II and some other test. I took them twice. Once when I was being tested for a Learning disorder in my first semester of college then several years later for my boyfriends custody stuff (we live together). Funny thing was I had saved the first one and compaired it to the results of the one I took all those years later. In what was 7 years I hadn't changed practally at all! The first one had my IQ at 116 second one 117. Both personallity tests said the same thing basically but the custody one said "has not presented herself in either a positive or negative light" the other one said nothing about that so I guess that was just assumed it was for me anyway wasn't intened to go to anyone else just the IQ part was to go to the college. And lets face it I would know if I was trying to present myself in either a positive or negative way.

They are actually fairly accurate. As part of the custody eval they did something called a "house tree person" test where you draw a house tree person. Then you answer some questions about it. And I was ticked I had to take the test, I had just had a baby, was nursing him, he refused to take a bottle and I had to leave him for 3 hours to take this test. That test came back saying I was "angry" well yes I was. The MMPI did not diagnose me as having any type of anger issues so it was fine no big deal but if that test said I was angry and the mmpi said it then there would have been a problem. All that came of the whole test was that it was handed over to the evaluator and the ex's lawyer. They read it never discussed it and never refured to it again cause it wasn't bad.

To more specificly answer your queston all the question can tell if your fibbing or not.  I walked out of there saying the test had really maybe 10 questions on it but they asked those same 10 questions like 400 times. Example How often do you drink? You pick the choice that says you hardly ever drink. Then they ask you Does drinking ever get you in trouble? NO never. Do you feel you have a drinking problem? Have you ever gotten in trouble for driving intoxicated? Do others feel you drink to much? and you get like 10 questions like that. NOT in a row they are all over the booklet.

Sounds like you landed a "bad apple" here. I would first find out why he is unhappy with the arrangement if the answer doesn't satisfy you or sounds fishy I would request what you paid him back and then file a complaint with the bar like the other poster stated. We at one point had a lawyer charge us $1500 and he did nothing but make $1750 worth of phone calls and dish out bad advise so we filed a complaint with the bar after questioning him first. We mailed out the complaint form on a Monday the following friday we had a letter from the bar he had 20 days to respond on the 20th day we received a letter from him trying to bs his way out of it. We sent another letter last week and we now are waiting for a responce. In the mean time we had to put down another $1000 on a new lawyer. Lucky for us we were able to do that but not all can. google your state and bar association to find the complaint form and send it out right away if this guy is going to do you dirty. In the mean time file for a continuance your self if you have to. Note that as well in the complaint.

I would say it depends on the child. I came from an intact family, my parents are still married, but my grandmother and grandfather had both my sister and myself from early Saturday morning to late sunday evening every weekend. So my parents could have "thier" time and get a break. My grandparents lived in a one bedroom apartment. My sister and I either slept in the bed with my grandparents (king size bed) or on the couch. I didn't see anything wrong with that or even question it. When my grandparents moved to Fl I was in the seventh grade. At that point they had a 3 bedroom house. The then took me from when school let out to just before school started again during the summer. I had my own room and guess what I still tried to sleep in the bed with them. And I didn't see anything wrong with it. Sometimes I think things like this are a bigger deal to the adults more so than the children. Unless something has happened to them the thought of it being appropiate or inappropiate never really crosses thier mind. It didn't mine. It didn't my sister's either.

I was just going to say the same thing. does he have a bank account? Does he own a car? A house? They can take all these things. I don't condone it in most cases but this seems to be a case where it would be the thing to do becuase
1) NJ has public transportation so he can get to work that way
2) he keeps having kids without taking responcibility for the ones he already has
3) If he has no income how is he paying his bills.

Also do you know where he is working under the table? Employer's get in big trouble for that. If you reported to the IRS that he is working at such and such a place under the table and they show up there and he is working both are in trouble. Also $37000 is a large sum why isn't he in jail? they are not doing what they should to get your child thier money. Remember the squeeky wheel gets the oil. Call Call Call till they get sick of you and fix the problem.

What do they mean "You can't get blood from a stone" if this man  "walks around in designer clothing" then he must have a job can't they take his income tax? Every person I know that owed back cs had thier refunds taken. My boyfriend has his cs taken right out of his check every week and that was the way it was set up from day one.

As for my sister's case he will probably be stuck paying childsupport till the kid is 21 there seems to be no hope in site and he is a "nice guy" and probably won't make a stink out of it like he should. My sister says the step son says he is going to college in Jan but probably isn't because he keeps screwing around with the F/A forms and still hasn't gotten them in yet. Personally I think if he doesn't go she should make her ex sue for the amount he paid in cs since the kid graduated HS.

My sister lives in NJ and her husband has 3 children with his ex. The laws there are not fair to NCP's he has to pay child support to his ex for a child that is over 18 graduated HS and is not in college and has a job. The 18 year old also does not really live with his mother he lives with his girlfriends mother. they receintly went to court for a child support modification and he was still required to support simply because "he intends to go to college" in January. They also did not reduce support when my sister had a child. What I thought was particularly funny was that when they had custody of the older son they only reduced the payment by the amount he was to pay her for support and she was not required to pay a dime he was responcible for 100% cost of the child including after school activities. (he has always paid for all 3 of the kids after school activities plus they buy all the clothing) They ex even tried at one point to get him to pay for the 18 year olds car insurance and that one at least didn't fly.

Hey I've heard some truely funny things actually happen in court that had me laughing. I wouldn't have been too supprised if it really did happen. Especally if that took place in a small town like the one I'm in. Some of the comments I have heard from the judge here, although true I can't believe she gets away with it. In my friends case she told her ex to "Grow-up-already! Quit whinning like a baby! Get- a- job-and -become-a-man!" In the context of the situation soo true yet so funny to have a judge say that. I think she was fustraited and tired of the case in general. (and you know what he actually did)