Thank you so much for your advice on this topic, however I disagree with you in response that this is strictly between the BM and my fiancée. We were instructed to fight this together with myself taking part in all proceedings. It shows a united front and a willing and loving family wanting to give him a safe and happy home. We were even asked to elope, that way we are married now, yet still have our big wedding on the date already set. Because of my fiancée's job, I am the one that talks with the lawyers, does the faxing, the searching and detecting and the crying due to the emotional toll this has taken. I have been a part of this from day one, taking parenting classes, preparing a nursery, ect. So if I were to have nothing to do with this action, it would appear that our home is no better than the life that the baby is currently chained to. We were finally able to meet the baby for the first time, I was sweet and nice and initiated conversation with a woman who made it very clear that she was entitled to my fiancée and my life. I will continue to show my support and stand next to my fiancée and fight for this baby. If given the opportunity would you not want your child to get out of a poverty ridden life? Away from the constant coming and goings of random men in and out of their mother's bed, I think you get my point. I am sure she is a good mother, but a woman who has a 3 month old baby home, is breastfeeding and goes out to a bar, becomes extremely intoxicated and thinks that it is okay to have sex with a total stranger, gets pregnant with a second child and in the process tells the man that she prefers no condoms and is on birth control, goes as far as to show him the package, is not the type of person I would want a child to learn life's morals, standards and etiquette from. In addition, this woman and her ENTIRE family suck off the tit of the welfare system and frankly I think it is wrong and am aware of the life that is available to him in this household and want him to have access to it.
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#12
Visitation Issues / Help!!! VERY STICKY situation!!!
Dec 13, 2007, 01:10:08 PM
Hello everyone, I am new on here so please bare with me !
Here is my situation, I am engaged to a very wonderful man, we both just graduated from college and he has a very succesfull career while I start work on my masters. 2 weeks before I met my fiance he had a one night stand, the woman thought that because they had sex they were "dating" he explained that he was not interested and she went on about her life as did he. In May 2007 we received a phone call saying that he was a father and he needed to man up because this woman had given birth in April to a baby boy. We thought it was a joke and brushed it off, then the text messages came, telling us again about the baby and what not. He still being confused asked this woman if rather than text messages could she call him and talk about this, she never called. SHE NEVER TOLD HIM SHE WAS PREGNANT!! 3 months go by and we are served with papers demanding he declare himself the father and start paying CS. Paternity was proven and we were happy to start paying CS and wanted to meet the baby. We hired a top lawyer to get us involved with the baby.
Here is where it all gets shady...We knew NOTHING about this woman, we knew her name that was it. She would not let the state give us her information so we could talk with her, we hired a private investigator who found that the address she listed in the court papers, is her aunts house, she does not even live there. The aunt gave us her cell phone number and we already knew she was living on welfare with the baby and her other child who was about to turn 2. My fiance called her to talk about all this and to see how the baby was doing, since up to this point she had not told us anything or even attempted to let us interact with the baby. When my fiance spoke with her she was very excited and said she really wanted him to be a part of the babys life, he then explained that he was getting married. From then on things hit the roof, she wont return our phone calls, bails on visitations, she told us the baby had an ear infection and his doctor said he could not travel, double checked with his doctor and they have not seen the baby in 6 months!!! So she is lying about everything. She wont sign the CS papers, the resedential schedule, she is living with her sister and her 3 kids and their mother in low income housing, a 2 bedroom apartment for 5 kids and 3 adults!!! The state has called and called trying to get her to sign the papers, but she wont come in or return the calls. They informed her they were placing her on Non Compliance and now my fiance and I are going to court to have the judge sign the papers so we can start seeing the baby. That threat did nothing to deter the mother, she still will not comply. We would like to have full custody, since we have a stable home, good jobs, nice income and so on. We want more than anything to give this baby a good home and love him. In addition the mothers story changes when we do get to talk to her, one week the baby was 18lbs and 18 inches, didnt eat any baby food and was drinking cows milk at 8 months. The next week he is 26 inches, hates peaches and ham and gravy baby food and god forbid no he is not on cows milk. She is always lying and now that we have to go to court it is going to cost an arm and a leg!!! I have never heard of a mother who is getting aid doing this, she will lose her money! Any suggestions from anyone would be great..and I am sorry this is so long, this is the condensed version too!
thanks
Here is my situation, I am engaged to a very wonderful man, we both just graduated from college and he has a very succesfull career while I start work on my masters. 2 weeks before I met my fiance he had a one night stand, the woman thought that because they had sex they were "dating" he explained that he was not interested and she went on about her life as did he. In May 2007 we received a phone call saying that he was a father and he needed to man up because this woman had given birth in April to a baby boy. We thought it was a joke and brushed it off, then the text messages came, telling us again about the baby and what not. He still being confused asked this woman if rather than text messages could she call him and talk about this, she never called. SHE NEVER TOLD HIM SHE WAS PREGNANT!! 3 months go by and we are served with papers demanding he declare himself the father and start paying CS. Paternity was proven and we were happy to start paying CS and wanted to meet the baby. We hired a top lawyer to get us involved with the baby.
Here is where it all gets shady...We knew NOTHING about this woman, we knew her name that was it. She would not let the state give us her information so we could talk with her, we hired a private investigator who found that the address she listed in the court papers, is her aunts house, she does not even live there. The aunt gave us her cell phone number and we already knew she was living on welfare with the baby and her other child who was about to turn 2. My fiance called her to talk about all this and to see how the baby was doing, since up to this point she had not told us anything or even attempted to let us interact with the baby. When my fiance spoke with her she was very excited and said she really wanted him to be a part of the babys life, he then explained that he was getting married. From then on things hit the roof, she wont return our phone calls, bails on visitations, she told us the baby had an ear infection and his doctor said he could not travel, double checked with his doctor and they have not seen the baby in 6 months!!! So she is lying about everything. She wont sign the CS papers, the resedential schedule, she is living with her sister and her 3 kids and their mother in low income housing, a 2 bedroom apartment for 5 kids and 3 adults!!! The state has called and called trying to get her to sign the papers, but she wont come in or return the calls. They informed her they were placing her on Non Compliance and now my fiance and I are going to court to have the judge sign the papers so we can start seeing the baby. That threat did nothing to deter the mother, she still will not comply. We would like to have full custody, since we have a stable home, good jobs, nice income and so on. We want more than anything to give this baby a good home and love him. In addition the mothers story changes when we do get to talk to her, one week the baby was 18lbs and 18 inches, didnt eat any baby food and was drinking cows milk at 8 months. The next week he is 26 inches, hates peaches and ham and gravy baby food and god forbid no he is not on cows milk. She is always lying and now that we have to go to court it is going to cost an arm and a leg!!! I have never heard of a mother who is getting aid doing this, she will lose her money! Any suggestions from anyone would be great..and I am sorry this is so long, this is the condensed version too!
thanks