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I still live at home with STBX and my daughter. No court orders yet, my lawyer has drawn up papers with standard visitation for me and joint legal with her as primary. Neither of us have signed the papers yet as there was an issue with the child suppport figures on her end. 50/50 sounds good too. If I was to sign the aforementioned agreement, what would my chances be of going for full custody later, or 50/50 later?

We are still figuring it out in the agreement right now it has the standard with joint legal and her as primary parent, me paying child support. She is not very agreeable to 50/50 as I believe she plans to eventually move back home out of state. I would take full custody w/o child support if she would give it to me which won't happen. I was just wondering what my chances would be going to court being in the military and a male etc. It just seems that the system is so skewed towards the mother/female that fathers don't really stand a chance. I believe I could give her a more stable environment and better upbringing without all the chaos that her mother has reated and will create in the future in her own life and now that of my daughter.

Quite a few actually, depends on her job and duty station as to deployability etc. With the current world climate, chances of deploying are pretty high.

That sounds awful, it would seem that her chances should be excellent but the court system never seems to fail to dissapoint. this whole experience has been a lesson in how nice guys finish last for me, it seems like the more amicable you try to be the more you get stepped on. I just worry that my military status would be a check against me as far as full custody goes in the eyes of the court, also the fact that I am a man seems to be a huge deal in custody where the mother isn't a total degenerate or crackhead, very frustrating.

 I am a 29 year old father and am in the process of divorcing my wife after I caught her having an affair. I was wondering what my chances of getting full custody of my 3 year old daughter are in the state of Alabama. I am active duty in the military and have been for the last 11 years. I am asking because outside of adultery I can't say that she is a badmother or anything like that, this last 6 months of divorce stuff has been hard on all of us, but she is a good mom. I was just wondering if being a male in the military in Alabama if I would even have a chance to get custody, my parents also live here and I make twice as much as my wife. I woould give up everything if I knew I could get custody, my only concern about it is dragging my daughter and myself through living tjis way until we go to court only for it to be a futile battle. I was just hoping maybe someone would have some advice and opinion or could share a similar experience and the results with me. --Thanks.

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I am in Alabama, I understand what you are saying about custody, that makes sense, That is good news to hear about the property stuff though, not that I want anything other than what's fair anyway.

I have intel that proves my soon to be ex is and has been for at least the last 5-6 months having an extramarital affair and that said affair is the real reason for us geting divorced not that she "just doesn't love me anymore". I just want to sell house and pay off debt then split leftover profit 50/50. How does this inormation factor into my case? Does it look good? I wont say much about what the intel is but it is irrefutable nad well documented. We also have a daughter who I am seeking 50% custody of.

Hi, I am new to this forum so excuse me if I don't know all the abbreviations yet. My wife and I have decided after about 4 months of me trying to convince her to got to counseling with me and try to work out our issues, to get a divorce. we have a 3 year old daughter who is my life. I had retained a lawyer about a month ago because we said we were going to work out everything, i.e. house, custody being the most important issues to me anyway, together. After our first meeting together with the atty. she decided that she didn't like him and she wanted to get her own lawyer, fine, she is entitled to that. She is meeting with her lawyer on the 25thof Feb to get some questions answered. My question is: Is there anything I should be doing in the meantime? I truly want to work this out amicably, I have already agreed to let her refinance the house (she has a steady job) and give me a lot less than I am owed out of the equity. I have also said I would pay off her car note and 1/2 the credit debt. I am just really nervous that her atty is going to convince her to go for the jugular so to speak. She says she's not and I believe her but I know how lawyers are. There is no history of abuse or anything like that, she just says she doesn't love me anymore. We got married young and have been married 9 years so i guess we beat the odds anyway! Any advice is greatly appreciated!