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Well my plan is to fill out divorce and custody pleading forms and file them and ask for a temporary orders hearing requesting an immediate order to return the children to the jurisdiction of this court.  

Question?  Can I serve papers myself?  Thought is, that a stipulation be in the TO judagment (if I can get an ex-parte hearing) that if served personally by the plaintif (ME) the children are immediatly transfered to my custody pending a full hearing, or if served by a third party or by registered mail 7 days from date of service to return the children to the marital home and custody of the father.  That way I can have mini vacation with kids on way back from TN.  (sample temporary parenting plan will be included in pleading)

Else if the TO request is not granted and she is served with divorce papers to try and convince the wife to let me take them since she will have to file an answer within 35 days since she is out of state.  It will be a big stink if I show up with intent to bring them home.

What I do not really want to do is sneak down there and tryand abscond with them.  First it is unfair to them to have them choose to get in my car or stay with mom and more importantly I should be provided with a more dignified means of otaining access to them.

Any assistance or stories of your experiences would be helpful

I live in ND.  The dragon is now in TN.  

Began last night, (our 26th aniversery BTW) by gathering up any important mail and other paperwork laying around and am going to sort it by sender and date order along with the mess of bill statements.  We have lots of school IEP meetings that I have been to. there is no way she can say I was not an engaged parent as she cant drive and I have to take her to all the meetings.  
I will likely file for a custody hearing first to order the children be brought back to ND. then work on the divorce crap.

Wife left with 2 of 5 children almost 3 months ago to live in another state with relatives.  I have the oldest 3 only 1 of which is a minor.  Need to file soon before she has standing in the state she is in.  Hoping to restrict movement of children, she can go ------ wherever.

Big problem- burdened by debt and unable to afford the several thousand dollars required to get an attorney to start action.  Doing research and can usually figure out things for myself.  Anyone have experience with this who can give guidance.