Topics

Soc,

SS was burned on April 27 at neighbor's yard near BM's home.  He spent 13 days in the hospital.

DH sent a request to the people whose home he was at requesting their homeowner's ins. information.  No reply.  BM has become best buddies with these people, though she barely knew them before the incident.

DH is responsible for 75% of the bills.  DH was in the hospital last year for 13 days - we are still paying on this.  We went to court in January - and are still paying the lawyer.  BM will not pay any of the $2800 she owes dh for that joint bankruptcy.  My ex is over $7000 behind in child support.  We simply do not have the money for these medical bills.

We also feel that this would have never happened had bm monitored who ss was spending time with and had she kept him in counseling.  He is 13  and the other children are around the same age - they all knew better than playing with lighter fluid.

We have considered asking her to try to obtain the information.  We also are aware that social services has a program that will pay the hospital bill if you meet certain requirements.  Of course, bm would have to apply and she would probably make sure to mention that she only wants 25% covered, which is her part.

Soc,
If we ask her to help in obtaining information about homeowner's and she refuses, will the judge still force dh to be responsible for 75%?



Any ideas with this?

Soc,

Last October, my dh won a warrant in debt against his ex.  The court told her to pay the $2800 she owed him.  She refused to make any sort of deal.  Her only response was that she would pay him $25 a month over the next 10 or so years.  

DH filed a garnishment against her in November - and it was served at her place of employment on November 18.  Her employer is an out-of-state corporation.  We mailed a request for confirmation to the employer in December and January - and finally a certified letter with a complete copy of garnishment in February.  They did not respond at all to the February letter.  

Today was the big day - and they had not took out anything!  DH talked to the ex who claimed it had be forwarded, but the company had said they were NOT withholding 50% of her income!  First of all, its only allowed 25% - secondly, it was a court order.  

However, the clerk of court told dh other than filing a show cause against the person that signed for the garnishment summons and a contempt of court against his ex, there is nothing that can be done against the company.

The ex was the manager of the store - so, it should have been her responsibility to forward this, not some clerk.   According to the clerk, the company is out of state, so there is no way to serve them with a show-cause.  

Soc, when we subpoenad her work records, head office claimed to have never received it.  Now, if they did receive the garnishment they didnt follow it.

The ex no longer has a job with them - the store was closed.  We dont have the address of the clerk that signed for this.  

They do have other stores in VA.  

I know you had told me previously that dh could file a judgment debtor hearing.  Which he will probably do tomorrow.

Soc, is there any way to make someone accountable for these evasions of the court orders?

Soc, dh and bm went to court on January 25 of this year.  She moved two hours away last year and dh tried to get primary of ss.  SS(13) after saying for months that he wanted to live here, told the judge opposite.  He had been hanging with bm's 30 and 20 year old workers and getting many, many gifts, not doing homework, rewarded for acting up in school, etc......  We got counseling for him, she refused to make him go and judge took her side in it - after speaking with ss for about 5 minutes stated that ss was levelheaded and typical teen.

Since that time, the 'friends' all lost their jobs with bm - two were convicted felons (one arrested again for such in Feb.) and one guy - the druggie was fired for dealing on the job.  We cannot find the felon records for one and do not even know the name of druggie....

In April bm called the police as she did not know where ss was.  He came home later on his own.  She left the next day to go visit her out of state boyfriend who she had not seen in a year - spent five days with him after telling ss that she was going on a business trip.

SS was out on school nights bussing tables at the restaurant where his mom waitresses at.  He did get paid for this, but of course under the table.  This didnt last long or they didnt tell us about him getting paid anymore....

Okay....ss got involved in fight after fight beginning in February and in March the school just washed their hands of him.  We have a letter from a school official stating that bm had stated that she had an appointment and would be taking ss for a review of meds for adhd - which she never had and never did.  Also, the letter states she was asked about counseling and stated that she would not reconsider.

Within weeks, the decision was made that ss could not come back to school and had only two options -homebound or school for juvenile delinquents where most have already been in trouble with the law.  BM chose the school.  SS was searched upon arrival each morning and put in class with two male teachers and only male classmates.  No outside food of any kind is allowed, counseling is part of the program.  SS was scared to death.

Last week, ss was at a friend's house.  He and two other young teens played with fire.  The parents were not there at the time.  The girl put lighter fluid in a bowl and set it on fire, then kicked it.  It spinned, so the other boy kicked it. Spinned again.  So, then it was ss' turn - but the boy wanted to kick it again and kicked it into ss, setting him on fire.  Ss was badly burned.  Frantic, he ran around until his shirt burned enough where he could pull it off.  He asked the other kids to spray him and call 911.  They sprayed him but wouldnot call for help....Instead, the boy ran to bm's and got her.  She ran from her second floor apt. to the house ss was at.  He asked her to call 911 and she wouldnt.  She ran back to her apt., called her brother to ask what to do, and then got in her car, picked up ss and drove him to the hospital.  SS then waited for about three hours before he was transported 15 minutes away to the right hospital.

The police say its not their matter as it was an accident.  Social services says since no caretakers were involved, just other children - its not their place either to investigate.

Thursday bm told dh that ss would not be coming here for a long time as he wouldnt be able to travel.  The nurse told her that it would actually be good for him.....but, she has talked in front of ss about him not being allowed to come out of the county she lives in....

Soc, Feb-march-april...three months and ss is now labeled a juvenile delinquent and has life-long scars.  There have been other things - he came one weekend with a burn on his finger and cigarettes....SS laughingly told us one day that his mom never grounds him -that she always lets him go play or whatever within an hour after saying he is.  AS a matter of fact, oss had just told us that bm said yss was severely grounded - no outside play, no phone, nothing....and within one hour of that we got the call that yss was hurt badly.

I picked up a leaflet at the hospital that said children in this age range set fires because they are emotionally or mentally disturbed..they are acting out.  The friends involved didnt get  as much as a finger burn.  They did come to the hospital and were laughing about rarely doing homework and talking about in-school-suspension...so obviously, they are not good influences.  They are also the same children ss was with when bm called the police not knowing where he was.

BM is demanding total control.  Even trying to get a nurse to kick us out because we didnt know only parent could stay and both dh and I stayed.  

DH is court ordered to pay 75% of all bills, and we are thinking of trying to fight this as ss' lifestyle led to this to some extent.  WE only want things to be fair.  However, dh is having to work...he has missed a couple of days and he has 3 day weekends....so we have been there alot.  But, bm hasnt worked at all and doesnt leave the hospital much.  WE have no idea how she doesnt have any money worries.  SS is important to us as well.  She has started a journal specifically for all of this - yes...dh sneaked a look at it - his mother and sister told her she was crazy for not calling 911 and that is in there and how she felt they didnt have the right to say anything...

SS has endured many excruciating wound changes...and he underwent surgery today to graft skin to his tummy, chest, top of hand, arm, and several fingers.



Soc, in your opinion...

Does this justify a change in circumstances (quality of life)?



Is there any way to do a 'discovery' about the name of the druggie that had worked for her?


Could we subpoena the reasons the employer terminated these 'friends'?



Could we subpoena school records of the children involved to show that they are in trouble alot in school?



We are just emotional wrecks with all of this...Thank you for your help...

Soc,

You had recommended writing a letter of any violation to the court order so that there is 'documentation' of the incident.

However, my dh is reluctant to do so.  In court in January, her lawyer was very critical of the fact that dh communicated through letters.  I think that may have been in part because the letters and her letters did provide documentation and this was his way of making it look bad.............We had asked many people  - and everyone had told us that putting stuff in writing shows what actually took place ..............However, the judge agreed with the lawyer.  The judge did admit that bm is mean and spiteful to dh, yet he told dh to call bm instead of writing letters.  The letters were regarding violations, counseling, visitation, etc....

If dh does talk with bm about the violations, there is no documentation.

Doesnt dh have the legal right to protect his interest by communicating through letter?

Soc,

WE are in VA, October of 2004, judge ordered dh's ex to reimburse him $2800 for an joint expense that dh's wages were garnished for, with him paying the entire debt.  The ex wanted to pay $25/mo........which dh refused as it would take about 10 years.  He garnished her wages.  That is to come up on May 12 and we are doubtful there will be anything turned in.  The place she worked was closed at the end of February.  Since that time she is working two part-time jobs and seems to be doing better financially - no back rent, going on trips, buying ss goodies constantly as well as giving him money, and planning on a nice trip in a couple of months.

What we have found is that dh could garnish her bank account - but I guess she could just close the account.  The only thing she owns, other than maybe some bank cd's (which she would have ss name on as well) is an older model car.    Also, from what we read, there is no way to garnish either part time job as the person is allowed to keep 30 times minimum wage.  Plus, we dont know what one of the jobs is or where......

Are we overlooking any options to collect this debt?


Is it possible to do some sort of legal 'discovery' questionnaire to assertain her finances and options?


Is there a time limit in collecting this court ordered money, and if so, how long?



Thank you.....

Soc,

DH and bm share joint legal with her having primary physical.  She and ss live two hours away.  They went to court in January and the order was tweaked to specify times.

Knowing ss was to be here by 6 - bm took him out with friends until 8:30, then brought him to dh.  She has ss 24 days out of the month, but used dh's time to do this.  

SS stayed an extra day with us one weekend - it was her weekend for transportation, but since it was in dh's favor, he drove ss to her job the next night - an extra 20 minutes away.

While there, she started in about how she had done him a favor, and now she wanted him to meet her halfway the next weekend so that she could get ss seven hours early.  When dh told her that the judge said he could have ss any additional time that ss wished............she became very loud, then told dh, loudly, that this was her place of employment and that they couldnt be fussing in there.  DH did allow ss to return early with his older brother.

She tried on several occassions to pick ss early - 5:30, knowing his time was until 7 -- we would leave home and she would be here sitting in our yard when we got back.

BM did in fact bring ss early two times - at 2pm, but she had to go to work and ss had been kicked out of school.

BM told dh that the meeting with an alternative school wasnt until a wednesday.  Two days later she went to the meeting - on a Friday, when dh is off.  DH didnt even know about it until that evening.

BM skipped out on ss' tutoring that Friday because tutor was late.

For spring break, bm said ss could not come on Wednesday because he had to have turoring - this was five days after she bailed on it, and would be the last before he began alternative school.  This would have kept dh from having his half of spring break as ordered by the court.  DH drove to her work area on Wednesday night just to pick up ss.  ***ss did not have tutoring because he disappeared and bm called the police - but he turned up on his own ****

BM was to provide transportation, but she went out of town and dh had to meet her brother halfway.

This past weekend, she brought ss 50 minutes early, but wanted him for a local family gathering.  DH agreed to let ss go to that, even willing to provide transportation.  OSS took ss, and dh picked ss up.  BM came out and began to fuss at dh - getting louder and louder in front of her family, raging that she has done him so many favors - even bringing ss early that Friday night; that she has tried so hard to get along, but all he does is fight her; and she wanted dh to go in and explain to her father why he was going to have to wait for ss since dh wouldnt just let her have him six hours early.  

In her opinion, allowing ss to spend an extra hour or day is doing dh a favor.  The judge not only told her that ss is to be allowed to do this, its in the court order that dh has specific times, but is not limited to those times.

DH agreed to meet her at an area 45 minutes early Sunday,  she called within 10 minutes of him being late, leaving a message wanting to know where he was.  She knew we were at a party...

Okay - now, given that some of it is contempt of the court order.  IF she cannot be made to admit she did these things -

What supporting evidence can dh possibly present?


Is there anything he can do to gather evidence in future?


Should dh write a letter stating these things to her, as well as citing that he does not want to be yelled at in public, in front of  SS (who has been present each time), and in front of her family anymore?  

Soc, this may fall in the realm of annoying, but I just wanted to check.  My dh has a court order that states he is to have his son from 6pm on Fridays to 7 pm on Sundays three times a month.  He also has certain holidays - such as half of son's spring break.   The judge also told bm in court that the court order is simply a guide and she should not enforce it so rigidly, and ss should be allowed to spend extra time with dh when he does not have school and wishes to do so.  She is to provide transportation 2 of the three times.

It took awhile for the lawyer's to work out the rest and file this.  So, in the mean time, bm would not follow the 6 pm Fridays -stating she couldnt get him down here by then because of work.  One Friday she met local friends and stayed at a nearby restaurant from 6:30 to 8:30 before bringing ss on.  

Once ss wanted to stay until Monday - it was her weekend to drive - and she said she had to work, so dh drove him to her job, an extra 20minutes beyond their home.  When he dropped him off, she informed him that since she had just did him a favor, she wanted him to meet her halfway the next weekend - several hours early - because her family was having a get-together.  Once again, this was a weekend for her to drive.  Well, dh's oldest son took his brother back, seven hours early.

She was allowing ss to come around 2:00 on Fridays after he had been kicked out of school.

This past Friday she brought him down at 5 - an hour early.  She wanted him today at 1 for another family get together locally.  DH agreed to allow ss to go to that, but he wanted him back afterward.  OSS drove ss to the gathering.  DH picked him up at 2:30.  BM came out and started a big fuss, shouting at him in front of her relatives.  She was upset about him picking ss up. BM had rode with her parents and stated that her father did not want to wait around for ss.  What were they supposed to do?  She also told dh that he needed to go in and explain to HER father why he had to wait....
Anyway, dh told her that was her responsibility - and she just got louder.  According to bm, she did dh a favor by bringing ss one hour early even though she had him for 1 1/2 hours today...and expected to take him home with her then.  BM is now stating she will do no more favors and go strictly by the court order.

Soc, the court order says three weekends each month and half of spring break/Christmas break/ and weeks in the summer.  DH had ss from Wednesday night of Spring break  only because he went after him after work, she refused to bring him.  This time stretched into April 2.  To our way of thinking, that is not one of his weekends for April as it was spring break.......

Soc, are there any grounds for violating the order?  



Since it is not explained in detail on the order, isnt it reasonable to think dh gets a full three weekends in April since April 1 and 2 were part of spring break?




Thank you

Soc,

My dh went to court on January 25.  The lawyer he had was very unprepared.  She came 1 1/2 hours late.  When questioning bm, bm would lie, lawyer had evidence to that effect in her possession, but didnt point this out.  She had told me that I would only be called in to discuss a certain situation, but did not want me to bring this up otherwise.......when I was called in she did not bring this up - then when bm's lawyer questioned me, I was accused of arguing with bm over money -when the argument had been over an incident between our children......but, I could not say this as I had not been told to.  The incident had infact been brought up earlier.  She was unable to obtain legal documentation and teacher verifications because she did not work on the case until about four days before trial....

On February 11, dh went to get a copy of his order as he hadnt received one.  He was told it had never been filed.  Called lawyer - it had been received at her office that week.  She still has not reviewed this with dh.  After dh wrote a letter to her last week, she called.  Knowing he would not be home until after business hours, I requested to be given the info to pass along and then we could let her know if he was okay with said order.........................her assistant thought it may be better if lawyer called later that night from her home.  She never did call all week......so, I called again and requested it be mailed.  This has not happened either.

Soc, my dh wants to fire this lady as she charges for every phone call, but we are not getting anything accomplished.  This order has been in her possession for weeks - her own assistant told me last Friday that it was in a stack on her desk.......

As she represented dh in court, can he fire her and go directly through bm's lawyer to sort out the order?


Is there any way to fight these charges since she was so slack in her representation or do we right this off to a costly learning experience?

Soc,

To recap - dh and bm share joint legal/bm with primary physical.  In Virginia.  BM moved two hours away last year - went to court, yss chose to stay with mom.  This was Jan. 25 '05.  The judge did order changes to order - specific times and days for visitation as opposed to prior bm approval.  Fridays are supposed to be 6 dropoffs.

Okay, went to courthouse Feb. 11 - told no order had been filed by bm's lawyer.  He hadnt turned it in.  Called dh's lawyer - she had received it, hadnt looked at it.  This week got letter stating bm was requesting 7 o'clock drop off.  Had not responded to this change in order yet.

Tonight (fri.) she brings yss at 8:30!  No knowledge of this beforehand.  She had left work at 4 - drove here and arrived locally at 6, met friends  and went out to eat for 2 1/2 hours - just eight miles away from our home.

YSS breakdown for school this month - 7 days in regular class at school, 7 days suspension, 4 days in-school-suspension.  DH went to first IEP concerning one suspension this month - in 30 minutes bm received 3 calls from her employees during the hearing on her cell phone.  

Teachers had been good about emailing dh, but the past incidence they have made no contact.  Letter from principal was mailed the day IEP was scheduled.  IEP didnt take place according to letter anyway.....took place Th.  A teacher left a message on machine yesterday stating it would take place at 2:30. (BM says that is when she was called as well - she did attend meeting)  Teacher stated for dh to call him and he would fill him in.  DH called today and teacher specified time he would call back - but he did not.

According to bm there are one of three options the school is deciding on - yss will be:
* allowed to stay in school, but be held in class until hallways are clear and then he will change classes
* have to stay home and be provided tutoring
* go to an alternative school

Asked on another board, but got conflicting opinions....

Are there any grounds for change in circumstances significant enough to change custody even if yss doesnt want to?  (HE came with four new expensive gifts this evening)

1 -  the babysitters that his mother stated she trusted so much in court have both been fired from her store.  One had a felony record she had not reported.  The other - dont know why.  But, the other one has felony convictions as well as a new grand larceny charge this month.  

2 - Since court in January, yss has had one unexcused absence, seven suspension days, and four in-school suspension days,  - and it is unsure what is going to happen at this point

3 - BM is behind on rent for the third month in a row (taken to court for this).   This is four times in the eight months she has lived there.  She worked part-time while living here and met her debts, now she is working full-time and part-time, buys yss gifts but does not pay her rent.  

4 - YSS 'punishments' for his behavior is no TV  in his room -but he watches it in the LR.  He goes to a toy store during suspension - bm's mother does not keep him at all (contrary to her statements in court).  Every time he has gotten in trouble, he has gotten new gifts within days.

5 - when bm is working at night, regardless of toy store or restaurant, yss is there as long as she is.  (The 20 and 30 year old babysitters ended after court in January).  She has reduced the number of evenings out.  There really isnt anything to compare as far as yss grades as his grades for last nine weeks were bad and he hasnt been in school enough to get new grades..........

Soc, in a nutshell, is there any grounds for change in circumstances?

Thank you

Soc,

My hubby filed a garnishment against his ex in early November.  In December, the clerk told him it was served, but the employer had not sent anything - and that we will not know for sure until May.  The employer is out of state, ex works in state.

Okay.....you had suggested that hubby could directly contact ex's employer to find out if garnishment had been received at headquarters.  He wrote a letter with a copy of garnishment and received no reply.

Then the lawyer he had recently told him that he had every right to know and to just hound the employer until he got a reply.  This was after a subpoena served at her job was not received at headquarters.

So, hubby sent out another request in January concerning this - just wanting confirmation that it was received, asking nothing more(and stating that he does have a right to know).  The head of the corporation has sent the following reply........

"I regret that we have no information to offer you concerning your request.  Without a specific written release from XXXXXXX we are not legally able to release any information concerning her employment."

Soc, I realize that he does not mention garnishment - so if they do not comply there is no proof that the company had knowledge beforehand....(and my husband did not ask if she was employed - only if the garnishment was received).....

1)  Is there anything prohibiting this information?


2)  IF not, then is there anything else my hubby can do short of waiting?  We already know that she did not turn in a legal subpoena in January - and the company ignored that.........

Hi Soc,

Thank you for all your help these past few months.  Unfortunately, nothing we had done had any effect.

Our lawyer was 1 1/2 hours late....putting us at the end of the day to get in.  Before the hearing, she and opposing couns. talked.  He came straight out and got dh's ex and went over what was said.....dh's lawyer didnt.

Asked about her not paying rent, the ex blamed dh's illness.  Even though he was out of work in August -and she had missed the September, December, and January rents.....it was dh's fault.  Missing $150 kept her from paying her rent.  We even had ss the month of August.

She had not sent the subpoena from her store for her work hours on to the main office - out of state.  lawyer verified this with main office.  Nothing was brought up about that.

NOTHING discussed at the last hearing or before was admissable.  

The ex lied about so many things - stating her mother keeps Jason on weekends while she works - not true, she has kept him one night.  The rest he has been with her 'buddies'.  She stated that she sits down at a table every night to do homework with ss.  Not once has she done this.

The lawyer had told me I would have to be called in if the tent incident - where ss fondled my daughter was brought up.....I was called in and that was never mentioned.  What was mentioned and probably was the worst piece of information used against us was a letter I wrote to the editor of my local paper back in June, 2004 after the first hearing.  I was discussing the fact that many times men are not treated fairly, and women have ownership of children, I had also discussed certain bad qualities that could the woman could possess (of course I was thinking of dh's ex...) and still keep the child.  Her lawyer went on and on about that being exposed to ss.  I wasnt married then - my name was different, so most people didnt know who I was referring to.  SS cannot read - he is learning disabled and there is no way he could read that article - and he wasnt even here - he was 80 miles away.  No one read the article to him, unless she did since she had gotten her hands on it.

The one time I spoke with her and we got into an arguement was over the incident in the tent - and her lawyer said it was over child support.  Which I denied as that was no where in the conversation.  I did not bring up the tent as I had been told not to.....and there was no redirect  from lawyer which could have cleared this up.  

SS - he had told dh's ex' lawyer that he doesnt even like my oldest daughter.  This was brought up to dh - and he was asked if he even speaks to his son.  SS had told his mom that he doesnt like the psychologist and isnt going back.  So, they brought up the incident of him fondling my daughter and how she is still in the house and he doesnt like her - but also note that its his 'option' about counseling.

SS told us he is getting a big sword from his mom today.  And one of her 'buddies' is getting him the cd he has been wanting.

SS even called them before the hearing, laughing and hooting it up.  Then as soon as we walked out the door, T was calling and ss told him things went well........

WE are devastated.  I feel guilty as I feel everything I did only hurt us.  But even more so, ss was just playing us.

SS told his brother that T has wrecked three times, and even spent the night at their house because of one wreck.  His mom had said T only watched ss one time - and they were in the living room playing video games.  Not true, ss game system is always in the bedroom - and oss even said that is where he hooked it up at Christmas.  SS told OSS yesterday that T smokes pot and wouldnt really reply when oss asked if he does it with him present.

And the lesbian babysitters - they took him to a pool hall the other night before trial, but had to leave because he wasnt 21 and you had to be to be in there.

Oh, and one of bm's letters states that she did tell dh about IEP.  Lied in court and said she did.  Our lawyer didnt follow up.

Sorry, I got way off track.....the judge fussed for five minutes at bm for controlling and cutting dh out of ss' life.  He even said she was manipulating the situations.  He told dh that we are not to be discussing bm in front of ss - but didnt say anything to her about her comments about us......and told dh that we spend too much time researching this and gathering information.  Then said there were no changes to custody.

It's over.............and I doubt if dh will see much of ss.  BM told the judge it was ss' decision not to come last weekend.  And that she had plans this weekend - so dh will not get his time....nobody cared....

Soc,

We are scheduled for court Tuesday.  Lawyer wanted to request continuance but we are against it.  No, she is not prepared.  But, we are hopeless now.

I had feared that all of bm's undercutting dh in ss's life, and making negative remarks, the gifts her buddies are giving ss, and the fact that she allows ss to do exactly as he wishes - no homework, on the go all evening, etc....would wind up pulling him away from dh.  It has done just that.  

He called after he should have already been here this evening - saying he was not coming.  He made different excuses, which dh shot down - and finally said he just didnt want to come.  And as for next weekend, they have plans.  Now, court order gives dh three weekends out of each month...I had told dh to file contempt of order before the hearing Tuesday, but since there arent specific dates listed, I guess he has to wait until after the month has ended.  Parental Alienation syndrome is definitely at play here.  BM does not take any part into counseling - which ss doesnt want......dh fusses at him for acting up - her friends give him gifts for being so good......

I guess I really dont have a question, more or less just feeling let down after months of trying to do everything right legally just to be shot down mere days before court.......I dont even know if we will go to court....

Soc,

I have had my reservations about dh's lawyer.  When we went in for our appt Sunday, she had forgotten we were coming, but was there catching up on work.

We were 9 days away from court and she told us she needs detention records from the school.  We are two hours away.  Okay, Monday was holiday, so we mailed off request Tuesday.  

lawyer wanted to talk to teachers and psychologist.  DH has signed releases for this.  Get a call today that psychologist is now saying there is something wrong with release and needs another signed ........and school was closed due to weather.  So, lawyer is trying back tomorrow...and if she cannot reach them, she will have to ask for a continuance.  

The psychologists has simply collected information so far.  Has not had a session alone with ss and has not conducted testing yet.  The teachers are needed to verify emails - otherwise we can only prove that dh has been in contact with these people, not the content about ss' behavior...


Soc...
1) Do lawyer's usually wait until days before court to make these contacts?


2)Considering this hearing date has been set since last June, will the judge have any negative feeling toward a continuance?



Thank you!!!

Soc,

Dh and I met with lawyer today.  We have many emails from teachers referring to ss not doing homework, his behavior, suspensions, and one teacher asking twice about medication to control ss....

Lawyer says that unless other lawyer stipulates - or she can get a teacher to actually testify - they are just hearsay.  We can only show that dh has kept in contact with teachers - cannot use content to prove the other points.  I have always heard people say that schools do not like to be involved in custody battles.  While they would not be asked to choose who they think should have ss, I feel they would still be hesitant.  We have copies of the original suspension letters.  And we can print out graded homework.  But, that doesnt show the amount of problems that have been going on.

1) Is there any way to reveal this information? Are all letters considered hearsay?


Okay....original custody order done in 2001 - dh had full custody of one child....ex got primary custody/joint legal of youngest.  In 2004, went back to court as she moved and dh sought primary.  The judge then ordered a temporary order basically giving the same as before.....

to establish a pattern of his ex cutting him out of ss' life, and being difficult by changing visitations, and ignoring requests we wrote down pages of such instances - but lawyer says that since a (temp) order was entered last year, we have to go from that date on.  Previous actions are inadmissable.  Six months is not alot of time to PROVE a pattern.

2) How do we go about establishing a pattern?


Lawyer wants me to testify as well.  DH's ex pretends I dont exist.  I have heard others say that they did not testify and in some instances even attend hearings -

What are your thoughts on the new spouse being part of the actual hearing?

Hi Soc,
 
We are meeting with attorney on Sunday - final before court on 25th...so have numerous things to go over...if you can have patience with me..

For refresher - dh's ex moved two hours away last summer.  She was granted a temp order for primary as dh fought the move - his son did not want to move.  She had lawyer, dh didnt.

In the initial hearing, things were brought up without proof.  A picture of an old shoe was shown several times saying dh had let ss wear this....dh goes to work before ss goes to school.  DH is off on Fridays, which is when he would have had ss - and ss would have returned to him that evening.  IF it had been on a day she was out of town for meeting and he went home to her, ss would not have had his good shoes the next day either.  There was no school report to verify this had taken place.  And the kid was 12 years old - he can dress himself.   This is just one example.

Ex's lawyer stated dh had told ex that he wanted ss just to get out of support which of course never happened.  DH has said he doesnt want support from her.

Okay, she was dating a guy everyone knows for drug use -and had him overnight with ss home.  Lawyer says without criminal record or someone to testify they saw him doing drugs - we cant even bring it up.  I know someone he told about his drug use - but they babysit and I dont want to ask them to lose money.

DH was out of work for six weeks without pay as he was hospitalized last summer.  He was unable to pay dentist bill - over $130 for ss.  Bill turned in to bill collector - which we paid completely off within two weeks as he got money out of 401k for his bills.  Okay, ex received attorney letter threatening action with an appeal date of 10 days - waited about 16 days before giving to dh.  We just found out today that amount they are claiming owed is for lawyer fees ($50), which we mailed out right away.   Feel that this will be brought up in court.

DH took ex to court for debt she owed.  He was awarded the sum.  She refused to pay anything reasonable - wanting 10 more years for what she has refused to pay in the past two.   He garnished her.

This week she got a second job.  Told ss not to tell - which he did.  She is maybe covering as child support is involved or to play the poor me ticket - garnishment caused her to get second job.  

Psychologist - dh fired the counselor as you may recall.  We found another psychologist and took ss to see that one.  She was notified ahead of time that this counselor had that apt.  time open.  Okay, we sent her all info with a request for old report cards and a questionnaire for her to fill out.  Luckily, we requested the school records directly from the school.  She has not responded at all.  usually, she changes visitation - not this time.  She has taken no part in counseling and voiced no opinion.

Her employees are taking care of ss while she works.  For behaving three days straight in school - no detention or suspension he was rewarded with a watch, a video game, and putt-putt.  I am not kidding....we got an email on a Tuesday from a teacher saying he was close to being suspended again.  DH talked to ex about this.  That weekend he got presents from her employees for being sooooo good on the other three days of school.  Of course, ss is 13 and this is making an impact on him.......

One of employees is ex drug addict and for whatever reason - ss says her mother 'took' her baby from her last month.  From what he was freely saying, sounds like their was no trial - dont know if mother threatened her about it or what.  Anyway, this is one person he is very close with and she buys him things constantly....brand name things.

Okay...

1.  Can things from first trial (ex> shoes) be rehashed to demand proof?  Or would this be of no use to try to prove she lied?


2.  The druggie boyfriend - who has moved states away - is there no other way to bring this up, ex>  Would an affidavit from person he told be okay or is that inadmissable?

3.  Will our financial stress due to illness be significant?


4.  Does the fact that she withheld the letter until after appeal date mean anything?


5.  The second job - she is working until 9 every night while ss is spending evening playing video games, riding to malls, and goofing off > wont this go against her in court?


6.  In your expert opinion, will firing the counselor bite us in the butt?  


7.  Psychologist recommended testing.....which is not all covered by insurance and can be costly.  As she is not responding at all....how can we approach this in court and seek a statement from the jude on whether she is liable?

8.  As far as court is concerned, will her employees work as replacements for family?  


9.  Any points above that you think we could hammer on?


Thank you in advance......

Hi Soc,

Recapping - my hubby revoked his consent for his son's licensed counselor due to various factors including not feeling it was benefitting his son.  I met with lawyer last week who felt this was not a good move as no other professional was lined up.  She stressed that the child needed to be in counseling to help legally - and of course we know this as his behaviors are of concern to us.  Lawyer suggested that we make the calls to find out availability and send this to mother.  Okay....after accessing insurance site and contacting about 20 psychologists we find some that are available immediately.  One in particular has an appointment this Thursday.  Stepson is with us right now.  We did mail all information to the mother including that an appointment is available this week - and that this psychologist has a son with ADHD and who was in the same school system stepson is in.  

We called lawyer's office to see how to proceed about Thursday.  However, she was not in and assistant has not called back - after two days.  We do plan on calling tomorrow, but if we are put off again......

One psychologists I spoke with did tell me that a licensed counselor is NOT qualified to deal with my stepsons issues.  Many psychologists have told me that the first thing they would do is to re-evaluate him for ADHD and assess what is going on.  Counselor could not do this - she had to rely on his past evaluation of ADHD.  But, unless we actually get stepson in with a psychologist, we are not going to be able to make the case that stepson did in fact need more help than licensed counselor could give.


1. Should we take stepson to this appointment or totally leave this in mother's care as she is the one who will be primarily responsible?

 

Thanks so much!!

Soc,

I had written earlier this week about disatisfaction with ss' counselor.  The counselor seems to favor bm, makes excuses for ss not being made to do homework, and even tells ss reasons he should prefer living in  a big town to living with his dad.

My dh wrote a letter explaining facts such as that ss is consistently getting in trouble, not doing any homework, that we have not received any information as to a diagnosis or treatment plan, and he included that bm had been allowed to sit in on a session, and that comments were made to encourage ss to remain in Richmond during this session.  DH also revoked his consent as he felt ss possibly would benefit more from a psychiatrist who could prescribe meds if necessary - as ss has ADHD.

Counselor wrote back taking exception to every point, and then ended with the fact that in her opinion, ss is not emotionally stable to make the decision of who to live with.  She feels that his loyalties are torn.

She also stated that maybe he isnt in more trouble - just that the school system there is more disciplined - which would make it look like a better school system.

SS has never waivered on where he wants to live.  He may have been hesitant when he had his bm and counselor setting there double-ganging him on how life 'there' is so much better.  I feel that her putting statement onto the letter to benefit bm - and then sending it to bm is further reason to believe she is bias.  However, that would be impossible to prove in court.  

BM had told ss all about this before bringing him down yesterday.  She told him that she is still going to take him to this counselor UNTIL trial.  

1)  Is there any way to undo this damage or make a case that this counselor was making statements to persuade ss to choose that life?



2)  As ss has never waivered in his preference, and in fact, had begged his dad to take full custody last year even before his mother made any comments about wanting to move, show that he is not feeling guilty about his decision?



3) As consent was required by bm and dh, can the counselor continue to see ss after dh revoked his consent?  

Soc, we are in VA - bm has primary phsycial with shared joint legal.  In june, judge signed a temporary order keeping that course as then 12 year old ss wanted to live with dh.  BM had moved two hours away, and ss did not want to move.  

SS is doing fine in school academically, though his grades could be better but bm does not make him do homework.  He does not have scheduled time to do this, encouragement, or any help.  (He is in all special ed classes)  He is not doing any homework and his teachers say that he would be doing much better grade wise if he did.  The one weekend he brought his books, he did his homework without complaint and we helped him when he would get stuck.  He says that bm will not allow him to bring books - and I believe him as that one time she had went to the school to get books from him, but he wouldnt give them up.

Now, we had got him into counseling in October.  BM didnt see it as necessary, but once we made the arrangements, she completely took over.  Since that time she has fussed and griped about it being dumped on her, and even wrote a letter saying she would not pay one dime of it!  

Counselor thinks bm is totally into counseling.  Counselor has remarked many times to us how bm is always so helpful and concerned.....counselor also states that ss is 13 and bm cannot get him to do his homework.  She thinks his behavior could be worse, so him getting in trouble and suspended from school twice in the past two months is not big deal.  She also states that she thinks ss is happy and wants to remain where he is - even though he says that he wants to live with dh.

Of course, we are unhappy with the situation.  If bm cannot even get 13 year old to do homework (she has never made him do it), then what chance does she have of getting him to do anything she says at 16?  And the counselor really doesnt see homework as important!  He has been in more trouble since he began counseling than before.  Also, if he is saying he wants to move here and counselor insists that he is happy there.....She is also takes everything ss says at face value.  We know he steals, but she thinks he is doing great.

Soc, both dh and bm had to sign consent forms.  There medical copays are 75/25 respectively.  We simply do not feel the counseling has benefited ss and the counselor's ethics are in opposition to what we want ss to learn..............Is there anything we can do?

If dh writes all this in letter form and sends it to bm as well as counselor, would this release him from responsibility?  (we feel confident that bm will not continue if she has to pay full visits)



While bm has been against it to dh, he feels certain she will demand for ss to go if he doesnt see the point.  Is there anything that can be done?





Last, but not least, if ss is saying he wants to live with dh - and counselor speaks for the other side and says he is happy where he is at, how badly will this hurt dh's chances of getting primary custody?

Hi Soc,

My hubby took his ex to small claims court on October 14.  The judge ordered her to pay hubby the money.  She would not even attempt at working anything agreeable out.  So, on November 5, hubby filed the garnishment summons.  Problem - the corporate offices for her employer are out of state (we are in VA - its in NC).  The garnishment was delivered to the store she is manager of.  

We know that it will take the six months to actually get any money - and that is if she doesnt somehow file bankruptcy.  However, we thought there would be some sort of confirmation from her employer on the garnishment.

My hubby checked last week and the young clerk told him that the garnishment to employer and individual had both been delivered to the store she worked at.  But, she said we may not know anything else for six months.

Is there any way to find out if it was turned into corporate?  



Thank you!! (again)  

My husband recently sent his ex a letter regarding violations and many 'falsehoods' contained in a letter she sent to him.  This time he put a page in there of specific questions with a date for them to be returned.  

They have joint legal custody with her being physical custodian - she now lives 2 hours away.  The son is 13.  She signed the son up for basketball tryouts without ever discussing it with dh - simply telling him that it may cut into his time.  My husband, in his letter, spoke of advantages and disadvantages but in no way said what side he would come down on - as the decision had already been made.  Her response - to accuse him of 'putting down' his son as this was HIS decision and its HIS life.  This is the same person who forced the son to move with her when he didnt want to go.

She took the son for a doctor's appt which she claimed was due to the counselor.  However, upon receiving my husbands letter, the doctor called and knew nothing about counseling or behavior problems.  It was only after this that he called and spoke with her about it.  The son had a physical for basketball - two weeks before my husband was notified that he was trying out.  

My husand - and I - are beyond frustrated by all her lies and control.  He asked for specific dates in December - she adjusted every one.  He says 7 pm. - she demands 6 pm.  She says the son needs to be home earlier in order to get ready for school the next day - although he is out most nights until 9:30 while she works.  And..she says the child cannot be called after 9:30 because he is getting ready for school the next day - although he cannot be reached earlier because he isnt there!

Soc...or anyone else with an opinion.....

Is addressing all of these matters equivalent to bickering?  We dont want the lies to stand as they are.  



Can she refuse my husband the right to pick his son up from school?  He wanted to do so, but she says no - has to be from her house.  Prior to her moving, the child got off the bus at my husband's home on Th and didnt see his mom again until Sunday.





She refuses to give my husband the babysitter's number, but says he cannot call the child after he gets home either.  Should this wait until they go back to court in January to be addressed?





Everything dh asks for, she denies and places her concrete demand.  The court order states 'mutual consent' so is there any recourse?



the court order states that visitation  = other times as consented by both parties.  The son was suspended for fighting.  Could not go to school on Friday.  Husband wanted to pick him up - she would not allow it.  Took the child to work with her and brought him that evening.  Is she allowed to rule with an iron hand?

Soc,

Thank you for your reply to my earlier post.  Regarding the issue of a consent form for the counselor, I spoke with counselor today and the child's mother had filled out the consent form and appears 'very eager' to assist the counselor in any way.  

My hubby and his ex share joint legal custody with her having primary custodial in Virginia.

As for violations of the court order that my hubby is thinking of taking his ex to court over, here is a brief listing:

* refusing to pay consensual counseling for son
* Ignoring requests for medical information (including address to med. provider)
* not informing hubby of IEP meetings, changes in child's class situation
* not informing hubby of interim reports
* being very dictatorial over all visitations - which are not specified weekends in the order
* signing child up for basketball tryouts without hubby even knowing - and its on his time as she decided to keep child the one weekend he could come on time
* actually, only sending one group of requested information regarding school - and that was before school started (calendars, etc.)

They went to court in June as son wanted to stay with hubby when his mother moved 2 hours away.  Hubby was unaware at that time that he was not being informed of school meetings and unaware that he could obtain notices directly.  (He actually believed that because court instructed her to keep him informed that she would do it.)  Hubby could not afford lawyer - her lawyer was extremely aggressive.  Her failure to keep him informed of any concerns of their son were used against hubby.  Order for son to live with her is temp.....go back to court in January.  Hubby has went to school and carried a letter requesting all information and filled out appropriate papers.  

Would it be in hubby's interest to bring attention that she is not keeping him informed of concerns of son and ignores his requests, overrules his simplest wishes - such as to take son to counseling on days that are supposed to be his time anyway?  (there is actually more if you pick apart every failure to inform - about six pages worth atleast)

Thank you again!

Soc,

My ss needed counseling.  We live in Virginia.  Parents share joint legal custody.  My hubby requested counseling and gave his reasons.  Again, this came up with the mother fussing about it and stating that she would not pay.  My husband told her he would arrange for the appointments.  He and I met with a counselor who agreed that ss is at risk because of his behaviors and that they need to be dealt with.  

The bio mom was provided with the same papers dh was on information about the counselor. She also had to sign a consent form before counselor would see ss.  Bio mom went in to see counselor and was 'very willing' to help in any way possible.  My hubby had requested medical information that was never given to him (in three years) so as to have the medical work-up done.  BM told counselor she was going to do it.

Yesterday hubby received letter stating that counseling was done behind her back, she is not going to pay any part of the bill, and that money he reimbursed her for counseling - which she had not paid after all - she used for a physical for ss.  Now, the counselor requested a work-up.  BM had a physical because she signed ss up for basketball practice during dh's time.  DH was just informed of this yesterday.

1)  Dh has always paid medical bills that he never had prior knowledge of.  She had prior knowledge and even said that she would take ss if insisted.....can she refuse legally to pay her big $7.50 per visit?



2) DH had told her that he would take ss to all appointments with counselor.  Starting with the first one, she refused and insists that SHE be the one to take him.  Isnt dh allowed to take him as he scheduled appointments for his days?



3)  She chose to pay her share of the physical which she says was requested by counselor.  Is she allowed to pick and choose bills?




4)  DH has went to the school and found out his son is failing and he was not notified by his ex of anything, IEP meeting already held and classes switched.  For once she made the 'mistake' of sending a copy of the doctor bill - which gave dh the info needed to contact the doctor - letter going out tomorrow.  I will be merciful as there are so many violations that I could list ......................but, the main question here is.......Would dh be effective in bringing this to court without a lawyer?  We simply cannot afford one.




Also.....garnishment.  He sent a proposal to her after winning in civil court for over $2000 she owes him.  Her response, " I will not pay the proposed payment plan that was set up without my knowledge and concent..."  The concept of proposed escapes her.  She is insistent that she is sending $25 per month - which would take over nine years.  DH is filing this week for garnishment of her wages.  

A)  IN garnishment, do the courts evaluate her wages or just go by the amount owed and break it down into a set time frame?




Thank you...sorry it is so long -winded....

Hey Soc, this is not custody/support related.  Understand if you cannot reply.  

But, my husband took his exwife to court for a bill that he paid all of.  It was a joint bankruptcy that they filed shortly before splitting - and he was garnished and paid the entire amount.  She always refused to pay anything back to him.  He didnt seek compensation through courts right away because she was only working part-time and he didnt want his son to do without.  She now has a full-time job making  good money.  They went to court on Oct. 14, and the judge told her that she had to pay it.

Of course, she doesnt want to.  She told my hubby that she could pay $2 a month and there is nothing he can do about it.  Husband sent her a proposal for payments - giving her 15 months to pay, with a request for response by Oct. 28.  She has not responded as of yet.

A)  The ten days to appeal from trial date - is that business days or just days?


B)  How long does he have to give her before he can file for a garnishment?  


C)  He has her employer's address and social security number because it is on the bankruptcy papers - is this all he needs?  Is filing for garnishment as simple as filling out the papers?



Thank you!

Dear Soc,

My husband has joint legal of 12 year old son.  We are in Va.  My husband is on unpaid medical leave for about six weeks now as he is ill and was in hospital for two weeks.  In August, we kept ss for three weeks.  I have paid two insurance premiums for husband and his son.  I have also bought child clothes and school supplies and paid toward medical bills.

SS molested my child while here.  It did not go any further than touching, but she was held down and threatened punishment if she told.  My husband wants counselling for ss, but now that school is starting he will not be here for us to get it.  His ex is not someone he can talk to about this.  Also, we have not reported it to the cops, but have been told that we should and have them call the mom to bring ss in.  My daughter is receiving counselling now.  I believe ss needs it - this is just one further step in a line of destructive behavior for this child.  

Husband is afraid his ex will keep the son away from him completely.  She is demanding money for school and making snide comments to the child about him spending all his money on his 'new family' although she knows he is not getting any money while not working.

Soc, is there any way to force her into getting the child counselling?


And, doesnt child support cover things such as school fees?  She moved to a much more expensive town and expects my husband to pay for her decision...................

Dear Soc,

We were married on July 3.  My husband's ex moved with their youngest son on June 12 - 90 miles away against the child's wishes.  He is 12.  They have joint legal/her as PPC.  My husband petitioned for custody - which in hindsight was probably our biggest mistake - should have just asked for PPC.  She had a lawyer, he didnt.  She retained her PPC.  Judge ordered six weeks during summer with child.  Her lawyer stated on the document that 2 weeks would be in June - which had passed, so child and husband are cheated out of two weeks.  We made a written request to her and her lawyer for one of those weeks - and the name and address of the school child will attend.  There hasnt been any reply.

My husband became very ill last week.  He has Guillain-Barre Syndrome and cannot walk at this time.  He has been in the hospital for a week and will be in there for atleast two more.  He has no temp. disability - so no money coming in.  He carries insurance on himself and sons.  

Oldest child stated that the information his mother printed off on the illness, she put in her 'book' that she cites any infraction she believes my husband makes.  Since he has kept ss over 60% of the time, I think this is strange.  I mean, if he is trusted to keep the child, why carry a book trying to prove he is not a good parent? (just thinking out loud on that one)

Anyway - to my questions.

*  Once hubby is on his feet again, we should be able to get help by legal aid - should we wait until the January court date or file new papers to just obtain PPC?


**   Since hubby is ill, is there any sort of temporary stop that can be placed on the child support until he is able to work again?  And if so, can I do the filing for him - with his signature on the paperwork as he is in the hospital?


***  I do not know how I am going to pay the insurance.  I do know that I have to do something in order to keep my husband covered.  But, is there any way legally to make her responsible for their sons' portion until hubby is able to work again?  (she said in court that she makes much more than my husband does on her new job)


****  She had taken my husband to court in January for more support  - which was denied.  Now that she is working full time, judge says to wait until January of next year to readjust CS - why does my hubby have to wait?


Thank you!

Dear Soc,

My fiance has been divorced, joint custody of youngest child for three years. The oldest has been living with him and only had visitations with mother - he is now 18. The mother planned on moving 100 miles away against fiance and youngest son's wishes. (and has done so now)

Their original custody order stated that they have joint legal custody and she had primary physical custody.  We are in Virginia.  While she has had primaryPC, he has had the child atleast half of the time - more like 60% of the time in the past three years.

She had sent fiance a letter stating she would move on June 14. He filed for custody - trial set for June 1- her lawyer pushed it back to June 29. She phoned a couple of weeks ago to request that my fiance to switch a couple of days that they normally had the child. She was to return him on June 12. She also informed my fiance that she would not be moving until June 19. Once she had the child back with her last week, she refused to return him....she moved on June 12 with the child.


His ex has asked atleast one person close to my fiance to go to court to say that he is on drugs and a bad father. Total lies! The person refused, but I am worried that she may get some of her pals to do so.

We have drafted a letter to her lawyer stating the deception that was involved in sneaking the son away and this is in violation of their joint custody agreement.  We had been asking for certain times visitation, but she has now asked my fiance to keep the child next week, with her picking him up two days before court.  When asked if he would be brought to court, she couldnt see the point.

My daughter's miss the child terribly as they are close and have been for years - before we started dating. They want to write letters to the judge telling him so.

His oldest son wants to go to court to confront his mother's lies and he believes his brother is better off here.

Questions:

Is it appropriate to mention her deceipt and outright attempts to have people lie in court in his letter to the lawyer?


We figure putting his request for his continued joint custody until the trial in writing and through her lawyer was best - are we right?


Would my children writing have any impact? We are to marry on July 3rd and they have been very close for over 2 years.


Does the oldest child need to be subpoenaed? I have been in court where the other lawyer asked my brother to leave - so I am afraid if he isnt issued a summons, they may boot him out so that he cant speak.



Will the younger child's letter to the judge stating his wish to remain here be sufficient or does he need to be there?



I know I have asked alot. If it were just a matter of them going to the judge with the child's best interest at heart, I wouldnt worry. But, I dont know if my fiance will have a lawyer. He shouldnt need one if the facts speak for themself and there isnt much money for one.

Thank you!!!!

Dear Soc,

My fiance has been divorced, joint custody of youngest child for three years.  The oldest has been living with him and only had visitations with mother - he is now 18.  The mother planned on moving 100 miles away against fiance and youngest son's wishes.

She had sent fiance a letter stating she would move on June 14.  He filed for custody - trial set for June 1- her lawyer pushed it back to June 29.  She phoned a couple of weeks ago to request that my fiance to switch a couple of days that they normally had the child.  She was to return him on June 12.  She also informed my fiance that she would not be moving until June 19.  Once she had the child back with her last week, she refused to return him....she moved on June 12 with the child.

We are in Virginia.  Fiance has been trying for weeks to get in to see a lawyer, but the one that could see him quickly could not take his case because his ex had spoken with her before.

His ex has asked atleast one person close to my fiance to go to court to say that he is on drugs and a bad father.  Total lies!  The person refused, but I am worried that she may get some of her pals to do so.  When they first split up - she charged him with abuse and had him arrested.  He never laid a finger on her - his sons swear to that - but somehow from the time she left home and got to the police dept. she had a small bruise under her eye.  She dropped it once she heard her sons wouldnt go along with her lie, but too late then it was already in the police hands.

We have drafted a letter to her lawyer stating the deception that was involved in sneaking the son away and this is in violation of their joint custody agreement.  We also put the days he will pick his son up and that she can pick the son up from him on certain days.  

My daughter's miss the child terribly as they are close and have been for years - before we started dating.  They want to write letters to the judge telling him so.

His oldest son wants to go to court to confront his mother's lies and he believes his brother is better off here.

Questions:

Is it appropriate to mention her deceipt and outright attempts to have people lie in court in his letter to the lawyer?


We figure putting his request for his continued joint custody until the trial in writing and through her lawyer was best - are we right?


Would my children writing have any impact?  We are to marry on July 3rd and they have been very close for over 2 years.


Does the oldest child need to be subpoenaed?  I have been in court where the other lawyer asked my brother to leave - so I am afraid if he isnt  issued a summons, they may boot him out so that he cant speak.



Will the younger child's letter to the judge stating his wish to remain here be sufficient or does he need to be there?



I know I have asked alot.  If it were just a matter of them going to the judge with the child's best interest at heart, I wouldnt worry.  But, I dont know if my fiance will have a lawyer.  He shouldnt need one if the facts speak for themself and there isnt much money for one.

Thank you!!!!

Hey Soc, my fiance has no money for a lawyer.  His ex has a lawyer.  We are in Virginia.

They have joint custody of their 12 year old son, with her having physical custody.  In the three years since their divorce, he has had the child atleast half of the time.  She is moving 100 miles away to a town that offers no friendship to the child other than her family that he has seen three days a year.  the move is scheduled for June 13.  Fiance filed for custody and support.  Trial scheduled for June 1.  Her lawyer requested and got it postponed to June 29.  This will give her two weeks to have the child with her.

The child has written and signed a letter stating that he wants to stay here.

1)  Would my fiance be able to request a restraining order to prohibit her from moving the child from this county's jurisdiction until the actual trial?  

If so, does he just file a paper and await the judge's decision or does he need to appear before the judge?

My fiance has joint custody of his 12 year old son.  Oldest son lives with my fiance.  Son's mother plans on moving to a high population, high crime area where she will only have her family - that the child sees about three days out of the year.  this is over two hours away. He has many family ties here, he has known me for over two years, he has AD/HD and shows symptoms of conduct disorder.

She is planning on moving June 13.  Court date was set for June 1 - my fiance had petitioned for custody and modest cs.  Today a notice came that her lawyer has 'conflicts' so it is rescheduled for June 29.

1) Can my fiance request an ex parte hearing?

2)  Should the child be present to make his wish known?

3)  Would an emergency change of custody be appropriate - citing the changes in residence and the best interest of the child?

4)  What forms would need to be filled out?

5)  How much of a factor should I play in this (as far as showing the stability of the home) as we will be getting married on July 3rd?

6)  Can she move when there is a trial date already set?

Thank you in advance!

We are in Virginia.  Family member married man 30 years her senior.  He had children her age and older.  She and he had one child together.  He died unexpectedly when child was a year old.  His IRA was not designated for anyone in particular, so bank rules are that wife automatically got that.  

Husband had left his will so that his son would be the overseer of his estate.  Life insurance was left to the four children.

Husband's grown children took ALL of his personal possessions.  they sold his wife one of his vehicles.    

Wife took IRA, which stepson fought, claiming his dad had told him he wanted it to go into estate and divided accordingly.

When wife stood her ground, stepson then counted that as part of her estate.  Stepson is not giving an accounting of how all funds were dispursed.  He 'sold' items for much lower than fair market value.

They are going to court - she to get her part of the estate, and he is fighting this as well as demanding that she has more personal items of his dad's, though he will not list items. She does not have anymore items - she even gave them the man's underwear for goodness sakes.

As the IRA was not written out to be included in estate, any thoughts on how far he will get with that?