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4honor,  I know you are wise with insurance......SS was burned at person A's home when person B kicked a lit bowl of lighter fluid onto him.  Person A was a renter...no insurance.....Person B owned home and had insurance.

Person B's insurance has paid.   We never went after Person A....or the actual owner of the home.

Today, ss' attorney sends a check for $1000 from Person A's home - a company owned the house and this was a check from the companies insurance company.

Why would this company simply send us a check 2 years after the incident?  Attorney's letter simply stated it was for available medical needs........

Could bm have sued them without involving ss at all?

dipper

It took over 2 years for dh to get custody of ss after his bm moved him away.  During that time, ss was burned badly and kicked out of school twice...and received criminal charges for taking a knife to school and vandalizing a laptop computer.

Last school year, the first with us, was not the best....he still got in a lot of trouble, just not as much.

This school year he has been a struggle from the get-go.  And to top it off he was suspended for possession of marijuana.  We tested him and he tested negative for use....claimed it was a friends..and he was taking it back to dealer for friend to get friends money back - Friend did not think he got enough for his cash.  Now, the other boys are saying ss did put in money on the stash......

At any rate, my problem is with dh....He doesnt punish ss for anything.  I feel ss and I are pitted against each other..and ss wins each time.  SS just had a birthday and dh got him a BB Gun.  I dont like it....dh says he needs to know we trust him.  well, I dont.  the kid has slashed neighbors tires in the past, shot a new truck with a bb gun in the past, criminal charges for before mentioned, and now the drugs....NO, he doesnt need a BB gun....

Just venting mainly...

Dh and I have been married about three years.  His oldest son, who he had custody of turned 18 shortly after we married.  he moved in with his then gf's family.  Few months later, moved in with us.  Once he briefly moved out on his own, but overall lived here.  he slept on the sofa and wouldnt sleep in the bed.  He often spoke of how his mom's friends said if he knew how she talked about him, he would not speak to her again....she refused anything he ever asked of her.  She harrassed his gf, which may have led to their break-up.   YSS was everything to her basically.  

When dh was awarded custody of yss, all of a sudden oss started sleeping in the bedroom that yss would be in...in the bed.  OSS started dating a 16 year old girl 21 months ago - he was 20.  He immediately began spending the night with her, and I put a stop to that.  I also last year began charging oss a very minimal rent because I felt he was grown and needed to show responsibility.

Well, bm pulled some mess and yss stopped visiting her.  Now, she has not tried to take visitation...and dh has never refused it.  In fact, she did request last month, but didnt follow through though dh said it was fine.  Okay...so, yss stopped visiting her last November.  

BM began calling the gf's house to talk with oss then.  She would not call him here anymore, but at the gf's.  After their dating 15 months, all of a sudden, bm loved the gf.  Now, another note here....gf smokes, drinks, and oss is the second MAN to live with her from what I understand.   GF is 17 now....

GF hates us, or it appears so.  The little time oss would be here, gf would be calling to wake him and fuss until he came over there....if they came here, she would pull him into another room away from us.  Still does.  OSS moved in with her a few months ago.  We hardly ever see him.  He works at the same place dh does, so that is the only way dh sees him.

BM lives 2 hours away, one way, and she sees oss and gf alot more than we do.  They will drive there and spend hours and even overnight.   Yet, if they come by here, its for no more than 10 minutes..and gf stays in a different room and comes and pulls oss out if he comes near us.

BM called here the other night asking yss when he last saw oss.  Thought that was odd....but then it turns out that we think oss had came by here when we werent here and called her on our phone.  He dropped a pen out in the driveway - one dh knows for a fact had been in oss car that morning and we do not have one like that......Then today we found out that oss and gf had went down and spent the night with her...gf's mom told yss when he called for oss....

We are worried that oss is coming in snooping when we are not here for bm....and if he cant visit when we are here, we dont want him here when we are out.  

It really hurts that we have did so much to help oss and he has turned on us so much.  He has nothing to do with us.  Yet, his bm has put down on him and treated him like dirt for years, and he will do anything she wants now and seems to seek her company.....

SS has not been visiting with bm.  She lied to his probation officer, in our opinion and knowledge of the facts, in an attempt to get him and thus - us in trouble.  BM has not tried to enforce visitation..she calls ss almost weekly to ask if he is coming, but does not speak to dh, does not advise of visitation schedule as required in order, and has made no attempt to pick ss up as required by her once a month.

So, last week she called and asked ss if he was coming on Friday.  He said no, we were going to Cincinnati for appt (we live in VA).  So, she says okay and hangs up.  This was on Tuesday or Wednesday.  Thursday morning she and her mom drive 10 hours one way to stay in Kentucky and show up Friday at ss' appt.    When she had custody, she took the Shriner's transportation and attended the appts.

So, she knew where ss would be when she called.  She also did not mention that she was coming as well to him.  She drove 10 hours one way for a 10 minute appt.  She called ss over to her and while he sat beside her, she was draped over him.  He is 15 and in public, she is always laying on him or has a hand on his shoulder, person at all times.

Thing is, he was not happy with her being there..he looked stunned and unhappy and she calls him over to lay on him!!  Then goes back with him and dh and takes over the appt saying ss has been working out and losing weight.  This was a lie for one...but, for another, how would she know?  

See the drama and games surrounding her!  Called him with her little game and then thought she was being cute showing up unexpected....

Hi all,  just wanted to update on the latest with us.  BM called last week demanding some games that ss has had for a while.  They belong to her cousin/lover.  Anyway, she wanted them returned to her....but, seeing that she first lied to dh - saying they were her's.....and that they belonged to her bf, dh decided to take ss there and have him return the games.  So, he and oss did that this week.  Within ten minutes of getting home, bm was on phone.  She called oss at his gf's house and thanked him for driving ss and was all sweet to him.    Called here and told dh that the games were scratched and one was missing. Says her bf is holding dh responsible to pay for the games...to a tune of $300.  

She said if its not paid in one week, she and bf will be going to the court house to file charges.   Dh told her she took ss to her bf's when he got these games, not him...so it is her responsibility.  She said that her bf will not hold her liable.....he is holding him because he is ss' parent and is responsible for all of ss' actions.  

We are currently paying restitution on a laptop that was damaged while in her custody, and she signed for.  

Dh said for her bf to call him....and she said dh did not want him calling....Like dh should be so scared.  LOL.....dh has left one message at the guy's home and called again to no answer.  

So, we are not worried.  If they file something, they will get one hell of a fight and we will drag all their family into this to say who is taking ss over there.....

Asked soc about this and he says that the actions are extortion.  Unfortunately, I dont think dh can prove this though as we have nothing in writing or recorded.  

Tomorrow is ss' probation appt and I know she will be the drama queen about all of this.  Well, actually, I am sure she has already called the lady about all of this and dh and ss will be blindsided.


UUUUggghhhh

OMG...as if bm hasnt did enough.  Today I took ss to the probation officer.  BM has claimed the man ss was working under for cmty svc told her he would give ss 8 hours for nothing.  She had spent the night with her cousin/lover.....it rained heavily....next day she took ss and guy said he didnt have much work....could she pick him up in two hours.  She was going back to her cousins...and said no....so, he told her to take him on and he would ask about allowing two hours since he showed up and they had traveled so far.  

BM waited a week and then called PO to say he told her he would give ss eight hours.  

Today, when I took ss of course she was there.  She was acting all prim and proper, very calm and in control......unusual for her.  However, I started seeing why.  She has really been working hard to get ss' time taken away from him and even more.  I held my cool while there....

But, the more I thought about it, the more I knew more was going on. So, I called the PO.  turns out I was right.  BM told her that ss is going out beyond curfew time.  Flat out lie!!!  The PO really hammered ss about this and I did speak up and say that he is with us or he is not out.....

When it was discussed that ss had did some cmty svc at church, BM spoke up trying to get that thrown out saying that it was only govt. agencies that it could be done through!  I  and ss stated that we had permission and the PO explained to her that it had been approved.

When it was stated that ss had completed his service, bm said, "Then why is it man told me that he had about 5 more hours?!"  So, she was fighting that too.....Man did not know about church service....

Then if you remember this was ordered through county he got into trouble in...which is not where we live.  I asked PO if she told the other PO or if they already knew.  Turns out, bm called the other county and told them all of this......

SS is the one who may have to redo his service because of this lie....and ss and us are the ones being hurt as it makes us look bad to be disregarding the order...

We are thinking of suing her for defamation of character.  She is causing us much stress and this is wrong what she is doing to her own son .....

BM has 'turned in' ss' community service supervisor saying he told her that he would give ss 8 hours when he didnt do any work.  Now, both ss and the man say this is not true.  She didnt want to pick ss up in a two hour period last week, so the man told her to take ss with her then and he would check into giving him two hours for showing up (with probation officer).

Well, ss had told us that bm made negative comments about it..and he heard her talking it over with her cousin/lover.  SS told her he would not talk to her again if she did something to get this man in trouble.

Well, sure enough she waited five days, but she told the po that he was giving ss time he didnt work.  This is not true...he had not given him any time...And he swears he never mentioned eight hours.  

To complicate matters though, he turned in a sheet on time for ss...and he had the dates wrong.  He had hours right...but he is older and had evidently gotten confused on dates.  We had kept record of the time so we know when ss worked.

SS and dh had it out with bm today on the phone.  We believe she just did this to have ss' time disqualified.  This would effectively mean that he probably would NOT get his community service done in time.  He would wind up in juvie.....and dh would get the blame for not ensuring he did his time.

This is pure spite.  She says she did it because ss needs to be held accountable for his actions.........Okay..so, in that case IF what she said had been true, why not tell the man not to give him any time and he would have to work for it?    

This man has done this for years without anything like this happening before.   He was extremely upset about this.....

We want to show the PO how vindictive she is and how this is just another of her lies......by showing how when court ordered to get ss counseling, she was not taking him to sessions......how she forced him to write a lie to presented as evidence against him in his burn lawsuit..and have the PO talk to ss' present counselor......

We do not want to come off as defensive...but, this is wrong.  She is just lying again and her lies need to be stopped.  She will hurt anyone to get at dh.............

SS is in court ordered counseling....well, we had wanted him in counseling two years ago.  maybe he wouldnt be on probation if that had happened....

At any rate, in August the counselor was giving test results and asked about their concerns.  BM instantly went off about me.  She became very hostile and started to storm out but the counselor stopped her.  

The counselor wanted to meet with dh this month, so he went in Friday.  The counselor told dh that he is pleased with ss' progress and response to the adhd medication.  He also said ss has a strong relationship with dh and that ss is fond of me.  However, ss has some strong issues with bm..and that he doesnt actually like her at this time.  He said ss resents her....she has made bad choices....and that she was very hostile when they all met together before....

Of course, he wants to continue seeing ss as he thinks he can help him deal with all of this.....

I am actually glad for counseling sake that she did flip out that day, it proved to an authority figure how this situation really is...

As you may remember, my dh has spent the last two years all but begging to know about doctor, counseling, and school appointments before they take place.  Bm ignored him 90% of the time.  She also always made comments when he complained that he was being selfish....isnt it more important that these things be taken care of for SS than he be there?  

Dh has notified bm of more appts in the past four months since he took custody than she did the entire 5 years she had ss.  Okay....last week ss hurt his hand...it was swollen in one area.  School nurse said it didnt seem broken, but an x-ray would be best.  I had told ss to go to her and have her call me....so, I talked to her and called the doctor's office.  That afternoon, I took ss in for an xray.  It was tissue damage.  They put a brace on it, told him to come back in a week for a check-up on it.

That night we went out and got back kinda late.  SS called his mom the next day after school.  They spoke briefly and she told him to have dh call her.  That night, she called back and chewed dh out.  Why wasnt she notified earlier........and IF he cannot take ss to the doctor, he is to call her and she will take him herself.  But, they are the parents, not me.

Now, even when ss was burned badly - dh was the last person she called.....and in other instances, dh wouldnt know about stuff until ss called or he got the bill for it.  While she may have taken ss to all appts, she did so because she refused to allow dh to do any of this....and .....she did not take ss to counseling appts or the dentist.  His counselor closed the acct and his teeth rotted because of this neglect....

Yet, she is willing to drive two hours here just to make sure that I dont take him.  Also, I am sure she thinks that would sound good in court....his dad would not take him and I had to leave work and drive two hours to do it.....

Now, the doctor doesnt have any evening appts open, so looks like I am taking him.  BM has told ss that she is picking him up from school and doing it....This is not on her time.....I have a limited power of attorney to cover this....and, we pay the medical bills.  

So, dh is going to alert the school that she is not to pick up ss.  I can see that there is going to be problems at the doctor's office....but, according to Soc, I am on an even playing field with bm.  This will be really stressful, but she is not controlling our lives.  

This has nothing to do with ss' welfare and everything to do with her hatred of me......

Does anyone else deal with this?

The other week, dh sent bm a letter requesting that she allow ss to complete a few hours of community service once a month on her time.  We really dont want him pulling much during the week because he is in school, has a curfew, and needs to do homework, etc.  Well, he is also playing football, so there is not much time during the week.    Bm called and had a fit, telling dh "You are the custodial parent and it is your responsibility!  You are not taking any of my time!"

Dh did tell her that she was going to have to give up some time, but he never said all weekend at any time.  She was to get ss that weekend, her providing transportation.  SS was ready and waiting -and she never showed!

Now, she was going out of town and picking up ss would have made her out of town trip a 6 hour trip....instead of the 1 1/2 from her home.  We did not even have service lined up for ss - he wasnt supposed to be here.

She is now claiming that dh told on the phone on Tuesday that she could not pick up ss that Friday.  The letter dh sent specifically requested a few hours..and also specified that he would like her agreement in writing.  DH also pointed out that this is court ordered and there will be no make-up time.  

how can there be?  SS has to do comm. svc. on our weekends as well!

Okay....so, she is saying she gets the next four weekends because dh owes her a make-up weekend.  She says this cannot be altered and she WILL get it.  then, she states that she will allow ss to do comm. service, but she will bring him on Sat for a few hours and she will pick him up afterward.

LOL..that is exactly what dh suggested in his letter!!!  She was the one saying no...but now its HER idea......

Our problem - she is definitely going to file a show cause.  DH is not giving her this weekend, we have plans.  She did not pick up ss, made no attempt to do so.  She says the judge told dh it is up to him to make sure she gets her time - that is to have ss available, not make her pick him up!!!

I am so frustrated.  I think this is part of her plan....filing contempts until she gets something against dh to help her out in a custody battle......you would think she won in court last time, and in her world she thinks so.......

Isnt there a way we can file harrassment against her if she files another false show cause?  She just filed one in August and was told she was wrong by the judge......................

My ss's hearing was today and he got a little stiffer punishment than I expected.  

Original summons noted damages to computer at $100....but today, the judge placed restitution for computer at $500.  It was not stated who is responsible, only parents.  

As soon as BM saw us, she instantly stated that lawyer would not be there as her dad refused to pay dh's half of attorney fees for son.  This was said in front of ss, in an effort to blame dh for his lack of representation.

Lawyer did in fact show up.  DH got a chance to ask him about his fee in the bathroom...and he told dh that he was charging $1000 for son and that ex has only paid him $100.    She has in fact stated in writing that she paid him $300..and stated today that she paid him $500.  (Attorney must have been hoping we had a check book handy)

Once lawyer was there, she was telling ss how "mom has come through again for you son!"  

We have also received a bill and a letter from mental health center she took ss to while in her custody.  She never paid anything.  Court order is for each to pay 50%, center is billing dh for entire amount.

dh has offered to drop pending motions on derogatory comments and clarification to spare any lawyer fees, but she has not responded at all.

BM is looking at apartments that range $200 more than the one she was evicted from earlier this year.  Yet, ss was wearing shoes that were cutting his heals until we bought him a pair last week and met her at counselor's office with them.  

Now, bm and i bumped heads a couple of times today....first when she blamed dh for ss not having a lawyer....and then later when she called dh money grubbing in the crowded waiting area.

SS was not present at the time, and I spoke up that this was not happening here, and she was not cursing my husband anymore in public.  She rolled her eyes..and i told her not to be rolling her eyes at me because there were not enough cops in the building to pull me off of her!

Should we do anything?!  i am sick of her lies....she had paid $100, and blaming dh in front of ss for not paying his half.  She knew we were not paying HER attorney anything - knew it months ago.

I blame the courts...they let her get away with the bogus medical supply bill and now she thinks she can just make bills and we have to pay them.....

And ss asked her over and over again about the attorney and she would not give him a real answer, until we walked up and she made that stupid announcement....

DH has been on vacation this week...its a scheduled week for his workplace.  For years, bm has allowed dh to have ss....but, since he is now CP, she demanded the 4th of July as court order this year.  so, dh was fine with that, though it did mean we could not go anywhere.  

Dh suggested she have an extra weekend with ss, trying to be nice...and she tried to keep ss half of the week.  That was a battle...but, she did bring him home Sunday and then asked to pick him up earlier on the 4th...he allowed that...then she got here and said he may not be home at the pick-up time.  This is when we were picking him up to head out for vacation....and she had known for two weeks.  So, that was an arguement and we were surprised when ss was there at the scheduled time Wednesday.

So, her two weeks were to begin today, Friday.  SS wanted to stay with us a couple more days as he has spent more time with bm on dh's vacation.......Since this was his request and since he is almost 15, dh told him - you have to ask your mother.

SS called her and this resulted in a long drawn out argument with her accusing dh of violating the order...etc.

DH tried explaining to her - this is not me, this is ss' decision.  She accused dh of using ss as a messenger...and could not understand that dh was not refusing to deliver ss....ss was asking to stay two more days.

She began fussing about everything else.  Ss got on phone again and she told him that she would have DH arrested if ss wasnt there this evening.

So, ss feels he is to blame for this.  And all he did was ask to stay until Sunday - she woudl get her two weeks either way.....

And dh is being blamed for using ss to pass a message...and trying to violate the order -which does not specify dates.....

Does anyone else feel that ss asking for time he wanted is wrong?  DH was not the one saying he didnt want to take him today....

Oh..and dh cursed on the phone and she told him - this is the last time you will curse me!  She curses dh and calls him names on a constant basis....dh cursed, but not at her personally, just the situation....

I am disappointed in custody reversal.  I really thought things would change, but instead all that has happened is we learned we were being screwed wayyyyyy worse than we ever knew before.  

she is demanding third weekends in addition to her summer weeks, and everyone else seems to interpret the order the same way.  DH never got that....he only got the summer weeks.  

Okay...so it is a pride issue to.  I always have considered myself pretty smart - but this woman always wins.  She got dh out of more than 2 weeks visitation in the past two years.

And now that she is NCP, he will be in trouble if he refuses one day.....and she is demanding to call all shots....  She is dating a married man, has taken over the mother role with his child, and acts as if he is ss' stepbrother already.....

And with her still cursing, controlling, and dragging him into the adultery, ss isnt going to improve while here.  She is still a huge part of his life and we still dont have a chance.  

We wanted peace for awhile, but it only got ten times worse.

And now....we filed for court again to clear up some of this mess.....she was threatening to file for two reasons.....and I am sure she will counter when she gets our papers.....

We will just be glad to get ss here and pray then we will have some peace.  As is, bm is in rare form now.  I had posted about her calling dh after months of ignoring him.

Well, last tuesday she called dh while out walking and asked dh if he was coming to IEP and if he would be picking ss up.  She has not allowed him either for months!  A meeting and an early pick-up!  Not right....figured she was going out of town.

So, then dh goes to meeting and she would not even look at him the entire time.  He mentions a conflict of ss going to court today with exams - and she pipes up and tells the teachers that ss didnt have to be in court until 2:00 so no problem with exams.

Afterward, she told ss to come to car.  DH walks over with him -and she didnt want ss anyway, she handed dh a letter.  The letter said that she gets two weeks in July and August, so while she knows school starts on the 14th, she is getting her full two weeks.  And, she is entitled to third weekends each month as well, so she WILL be picking ss up from camp...and she Will have him for her birthday in August.  She hopes dh will respect her wishes and the judge's order.

She also put in there that she gets july 4th and quoted dh saying that "you are interfering with my time."

TOO MUCH!!  She wrote last year that dh could have July 4th as that has been their agreement since July 2001.  And, the court order is exactly as it always has been - only roles are reversed.   DH never got third weekends during the summer, he got six weeks and no more.  The order does state - three weekends per month........later it states, during the months of June July August two weeks per month.  This could be interpreted as in place or in addition to.....but, for two summers dh has only gotten the six weeks, now she claims its also three weekends.....

And...she never gave dh two weeks per month as order states....in fact, as of July 20 last summer she was still writing that circumstances may alter the remaining weeks of visitation.  When we suggested a two week per month summer earlier this year - she wrote, "I will not agree to YOUR schedule as circumstances may alter this."

Are we crazy?  Hypocrite does not even begin to cover this woman.....It is absolutely infuriating.

For two years, she has told dh exactly when he can see  his son....every proposal we sent has been shot down as "YOUR" and circumstances may alter.........she has taken numerous days from dh by making plans on his weekends and not making up time.   Then when custody reverses, she flat out tells him - this is the way its gonna be.......and you will not short my time.

I think this is the first time she ever read the custody order.  i really do, as before it didnt matter -she was going to do it her way anyway.  

Today, dh went to court - at a cost of missed work and gas of over $100.........and the lawyer doesnt show up - twice now.  The judge was mad and said next time, lawyer or not, it goes forward.

Thing is - bm had letters from lawyer for the court asking for a postponement- yet she and this lawyer let everyone (school officials, dh, policeman) come there for nothing.

Then she harrassed dh asking if he was going to help her pay lawyer now.  WE have told her twice that we will not pay her lawyer to represent ss.  Her lawyer will not even talk to dh about this case, but he had her and ss in last week.  WE simply asked for the hearing date and time and he ignored our request for that.......we have filed a formal complaint against this man for representing conflicting interests - so it wouldnt be right to pay him.

In Feb, she had told dh that they owe six pmts and she had paid two, so now it was his turn....yeah...half of six is three - the idiot!  Well, we told her - we are not paying your attorney!   But, from what she wrote, payments would have been completed last month.....so, why should dh pay now?

Then she asked dh about counseling Friday - and dh said he didnt know if he was going.  She said, "I figured that!"  This is the first session she has told him about -and, she has known about it for a month and mentions it today.  Now, dh is considering going, but what for?  WE already have a real psychologist lined up here - the meeting with the clinical social worker would serve no point.  The SW has ignored any communication attempts -and told ss he would contact dh about appt, but never did.  He and bm left it to a 14 year old to get dad there.....

Oh..and she is dating a married man that lives next door to her parents (which is where she lives now).  His wife is in jail for all sorts of money schemes.....she befriended his 8 year old son - even bringing him on a 4 hour pick-up trip for ss......

She and her mom supposedly like his wife.....hmmmmm....

While she is very vindictive, I find myself being very bitter as well.

I am working three jobs now.  Well, technically I am...I am out of school for two months, but still an employee.  Meanwhile, I worry that now that dh is going to be custodial parent by the time of ss' hearing, they will make him pay for the computer ss damaged.  WE would have never rented the laptop from school - could have seen that coming!  

Also, bm is going to probably stop paying attorney as dh has custody, meaning ss will be without lawyer and we will probably have to pay someone anyway........for crap he pulled with her.....

And she doesnt stop...she just keeps on demanding.  Do this, you cant do that, My way, my way, my way...I carried him for nine months...

I told dh - yeah, and tell her without your squirt of sperm, where would she have gotten?!

After months of ignoring dh's attempts to find out any info on ss, bm has talked to dh four times in the past two weeks.....all about her rights as the mother...how she carried ss for nine months.  DH told her he knows that she is the mother - she tells him every time they talk!

First, she was refusing to allow ss come for his third weekend of visitation.  Well, dh told her what the court order actually said.  She was still saying no.  then he called her the next week and she immediately said she would be bringing ss down.  She also told dh that ss had not came home after school - he had took off with some other kids without her knowing.  She called back a little later and said that he had came home and yada yada.  DH didnt say much to her because - did she really want to talk when she acts as if he has no right to anything concerning ss?  (he did get after ss)

So, then last night he is talking to ss and she wants to know if she is taking ss to or picking him up from burn camp.  Neither - its our time.  So, then she says dh is just being a jerk because he will have custody and that she is ss' mother and she has rights.

DH told her now she knows how it feels...that she has refused him any rights.

Thing is, she signed ss up for a burn camp in Feb.....took dh's time for it and drove ss to and from that camp - said SHE was doing it.  Then she calls dh a jerk when the shoe is on the other foot - and she signed ss up for this coming camp as well.......

I feel she is simply talking to dh trying to ask for crap she shoudlnt have so that she can claim he is being unreasonable and interfering with her time.....though all of it has been DH's time anyway......

SS was court ordered to counseling in January.  This was to go through the GAL, but BM chose the person and began taking ss in February - only telling dh after the fact and only the center, not the provider.  She refused to give dh any info.  We got the notes and no wonder...she was badmouthing dh and I, including blaming our marriage as the trigger for ss' bad behaviors.

WE wrote the counselor and even asked for an amendment to his notes.  WE gave our phone# and the best times he can reach dh....nothing.  So, now ss is on medication but bm doesnt send them on weekends.  We wrote to counselor requesting info on meds and asked that we be sent an appt card from now on.

Well, last week ss went and counselor and bm made an appt for dh for June according to ss.  Counselor told ss that he was going to call dh.....has not did so.

SS has not had one solo session.  His mom is in there the entire time...and he is asked about where he wants to live and why.  Now, the judge ordered counseling due to ss' behaviors of getting in trouble at school so much.....

It appears that bm is using the sessions to vent her frustrations with dh...her anger.   Also, the counselor is a licensed clinical social worker.  Last year i was told by a top psychologist not to take ss to a social worker.....he needed more help than that.

The judge said recently that ss should keep going to the counselor, however, we are going to change counselors.  Keeping that one would mean that ss and us woudl have to travel 4 hours round trip for sessions.......which is crazy.......

I am very frustrated with the counselor, but I guess it would be best not to say anything...just try to get it changed to one around here..which I called today, but no one was in....

Being a stepmom is beyond frustrating.  Unfortunately I am a very right/wrong person.  And I absolutely insist on truthfulness...so i cannot handle lies well.  It took me 2-3 years to accept that if my ex was talking, he was lying and its way easier just to expect it and not give him any credit than even listen to what he is saying.

Then I remarried and I am back to square one with the BM.  When we tried to have counseling for ss two years ago - she told us she would arrange, then didnt:  WE arranged it, notified her and she took completely over...then complained that we did it behind her back and didnt want to pay anything toward it...like her $4 or so was a big deal.  

She ate the counselor up...counselor thought she was heaven.  Totally fussed about it behind counselors back.  

She took ss off of ADHD meds...and this is when his behaviors got worse along with her move.....

Now, the court has ordered counseling....and you would think its all her idea.  We got a letter from the school today about kicking ss out..and in it the principal noted how BM having ss in counseling is a good effort and that the medical review will most definitely have a benefit for ss.

She took him off his meds...she fought the counseling!!  She let his behaviors escalate for two years pulling this crap....and now that the court orders it, she is all taking credit.  

this is neglect of his medical/mental care...but the courts dont care.  The GAL doesnt care either.  She goes in and puts on her professional mannerism and they all eat out of her hands.....

I dont know if I will last three more years of this....

A couple of months ago when I received my bill from Dish, there were two charges for adult ppv movies from July 2005.  I called and was told that the movies were ordered by remote.  Since I dont have my receiver hooked to a phone line, I disputed the charges.  They said someone must have hooked it to the line and ordered, then unhooked - not possible, I have tried and it doesnt allow that option.  The charges were took off.  I didnt put a code on the account, because I thought it was some sort of glitch...some problem that was over with.  Naive, I know.

Well, today I called to make a payment and the bill was really high.  I went through to billing to ask how the bill could be that high.  I was told that last weekend, multiple adult PPV's were ordered from our receiver.  Again, I said no way - we were here.....and we cannot use our remote to order.  We always order using the phone or computer, never through the receiver.  

So, I get off the line with the lady and hook the phone line to the receiver.....and go through the remote to order wrestling tonight....at first it gave the smart card message - which is where I usually stop.....But, no, it does go through.    

I still have a hard time with the charges as dh and I were here for some of them, but I looked up my account online.  Six of the movies were ordered while we were working...and two after midnight.  DH thought of oss, but he was not here those times I know for sure.  (my girls werent here either).  The only person that was here at all times these purchases were made were my 14 year old ss.    Because of a holiday and a suspension, he was at our home on two Mondays - when six charges were made.

he denies it, but now we are faced having to pay $100 in adult movie charges for this.

Does this seem the normal behavior of a 14 year old boy?

It does not to me.  He knew we would have to pay for this, yet he did it.  And movie after movie....by himself.........I dont have sons...and my brothers were young before there was ppv.....so, I dont think this is normal, but what does everyone else say?

SS is in trouble again at school.  The only way dh knows is that ss slipped up and asked dh if he was coming to the school meeting Tuesday.  Then he said - oh, you dont know and told dh a part of it.  We emailed the school and got the facts.  SS is serving five days in school suspension, and five days out of school suspension.

Bm will not tell dh anything.  Since she won again in court in January, its crazy how bad she is.  She is living by her terms.  She is so arrogant for someone who got kicked out of their apt.   But then again, she has a soft place to land...daddy and mommy take care of her and even got her a car recently after her's died and she has no way to buy one.

I am just disgusted and my nerves are shot with all this.  I keep saying....no more than 5 more years of this crap......

We have tried to play by the rules and it has not helped at all.  It didnt help with the BM and it didnt help us in court.  The fact that she curses dh like a sailor and he doesnt treat her like this has no effect.  Yet, we live with it over our heads that should either one of us say anything, we will be treated like we have done something horrible.

Well, she has been on a power trip since she won again in court in January.  The next day she started with her theatrics and ongoing lies.  Today, dh got a letter stating why hadnt he taken care of a certain bill......and accusing him of grilling ss........saying that it is none of dh's business what she does, etc.

DH had asked for all bills last year and she gave him one statement from a hospital and nothing else.....and she accuses dh of grilling ss because he caught her in a lie and she is trying to reverse the crap on him.

We are tired of this.  DH is writing a letter back explaining the simple truth to her, which is not something she understands.

I know this will probably bite us in the rear as dh is planning on appealing the latest order once it is filed, but why keep playing by the ruiles when we are the only ones held to them?

I am so disgusted with these dang games!!

Hi all, I know some of you stepmoms have been very proactive in helping your dh assert his rights.  My question right now is that dh's custody case failed, we are considering a pro se appeal.  I was never impressed with dh's lawyer and feel he could have been way more effective in court.  However, I still feel the judge was very prejudiced and erred numerous times in applying the law and codes of certain situations.

I had an appt. with dh's lawyer to discuss an appeal, which the lawyer says he feels we can win.  However,  his office made me two different appts. today and cancelled both......and I have talken all day off of work.  I cant go in - they had to get a replacement for me....I dont think the lawyer did the work for the money he was paid the last time....

So, where should I turn to learn how to prepare a brief to appeal?

Do you file the appeal brief with your appeal filing?

Do you actually go before the judges - or do they just look at the paperwork?


How do we, as pro se litigants, get our hands on the conclusions and findings of the judge.........and the actual transcripts?

HI,

I have known my dh and ss for over three years.  We actually met through our children - who met by us being backyard neighbors.  Well, ss actually encouraged his dad to come over often   - he was all for us dating.   DH had custody of one child and had the other child 50% of the time.  

When we became engaged, it was shortly after this that we first heard bm was looking to move.  She started job hunting hours away.  Then about two weeks before we married, she moved two hours away.  

I had first met her before dh and I were dating  - I had ss with me at a fireworks show.  She wouldnt speak to me though I was less than 8 feet away from her.  I was buying tickets for her child to ride as there was a small carnival...and she would not even speak to me.

Well, after dh and I were dating.....she came to my home one evening to pick ss up...and I invited her in and offered her a seat and tried to make conversation.  Beyond asking if her son was there, she didnt say another word.

She and I had ill words once and she lied in court about that...claimed I was fussing over CS.

She treats me as if I dont exist.  Completely ignores me.  

This past week dh's case for custody was up.  Well, it was first delayed.  SS had been hanging with us since they got there.  He wanted to go to the store when his brother went and bm said no.  He argued with her until dh told him he couldnt go.  later, we were in the hallway and bm called ss into the waiting room.  He comes out and laughingly says that she is mad at him.  (NO one asked anything at all)  Older ss said that its nothing new........here comes bm flying out of the room and points at dh and says its none of his business what she talks with her child about!  Of course, she turns as soon as she says it and takes off.  I spoke up and told dh he needed to tell her that he hadnt asked anything - I said this loudly.  BM kept walking.  So, here comes her mother out glaring at us...and I said again that no one asked ss anything and that I am right here if anyone has anything to say.  She says ' that is all you all have been doing for 2 years now ! "   I tell her she doesnt know what she is talking about and here comes bm running out of the waiting room, goes out the door - leans back in and tells her mother not to stoop to our level.....

WTF!  SHE is the one who started it all.  The case was continued.  SS came today and he told us that his mother and grandmother were braggin about how bm had to pull gm off of me at court!  Po-lease!

He said they have been calling me a bitch and saying how my husband was so nice until he married me.  And of course, they are telling ss that he doesnt get along with me or my children....

Before we married, my dh was treated like a babysitter.  He got to see his son, and he paid.........but, he had no other parent rights.  He never knew about school meetings or doctor visits.  he would get bills written on paper - no statement from the docs, no explanation, just a demand for money.  He always paid half on school supplies .  BM talked about him publicly to anyone that would listen....

However, now it appears that I am the source of all hatred.  Like my existence brought chaos to their peaceful little world - as if they lived in harmony before......

Does anyone else experience this?  Court order states that neither parent nor spouse of parent can speak negatively of other parent in child's presence...................but, nothing prohibits her from calling me filth....and it doesnt stop her from cursing dh either.....

Would this help our custody case - that she badmouths me in front of ss?

DH has filed for change in custody of yss.  There are several issues involved.  Back in January, we went to court, but ss changed his mind and wanted to stay with bm.  (lots of bribing going on there...oh well...)

BM goes to all IEPs and when ss was in the hospital, she was the most devoted soul - changing bandages even though the nurses were there to do it.  That is the way she is - as long as there is a crowd, she is great...its the times when no one is there to tell her how wonderful she is that things get kicked to the side.  such as bandages - he didnt need them after a few days of being home...interesting...

We cannot afford a lawyer - again.  DH wants this so badly, but I am the one who does the typing for him and handles any business part of it - finding out what he needs to do, etc.  I even made him an appt with a lawyer today just to get information and got all the papers we had together to take with us.

We wound up filing additions today - adjustment in copay of medical bills and a show cause on some violations of the court order.  And I am so nervous - I just feel she is going to do something spiteful due to the show cause.  I cant think of anything dh has done wrong - other than maybe twice taking ss home no more than 30 minutes late....compared to her 2 1/2 hours late bringing him....as she was having dinner with her buddies..

Oh well, just nervous and sometimes - I just want to let things go and not have to worry so much about it...about court...about what is going on with the school, etc......just say, ok - you come on visitations and we will have  good time...and leave everything else to bm, because she tries her best to cut dh out anyway....It is a never ending struggle...

DH has filed for change in custody of yss.  There are several issues involved.  Back in January, we went to court, but ss changed his mind and wanted to stay with bm.  (lots of bribing going on there...oh well...)

BM goes to all IEPs and when ss was in the hospital, she was the most devoted soul - changing bandages even though the nurses were there to do it.  That is the way she is - as long as there is a crowd, she is great...its the times when no one is there to tell her how wonderful she is that things get kicked to the side.  such as bandages - he didnt need them after a few days of being home...interesting...

We cannot afford a lawyer - again.  DH wants this so badly, but I am the one who does the typing for him and handles any business part of it - finding out what he needs to do, etc.  I even made him an appt with a lawyer today just to get information and got all the papers we had together to take with us.

We wound up filing additions today - adjustment in copay of medical bills and a show cause on some violations of the court order.  And I am so nervous - I just feel she is going to do something spiteful due to the show cause.  I cant think of anything dh has done wrong - other than maybe twice taking ss home no more than 30 minutes late....compared to her 2 1/2 hours late bringing him....as she was having dinner with her buddies..

Oh well, just nervous and sometimes - I just want to let things go and not have to worry so much about it...about court...about what is going on with the school, etc......just say, ok - you come on visitations and we will have  good time...and leave everything else to bm, because she tries her best to cut dh out anyway....It is a never ending struggle...

I have been a stepmom for nine months.  I knew my ss for three years.  He was instrumental in his dad and I dating actually.

My dh had 50% time with his son..and full custody of the oldest.  Two weeks before we married, bm moved two hours away.  DH tried to get custody, but her lawyer painted him horribly the first hearing, the second hearing ss told the judge he wanted to stay with bm.  She used to buy him only clothes for holidays or birthdays, but she began buying him cd's, brand name clothes, accessories, toys and such on a weekly basis...as well as encouraging her 20 and 30 year old friends to hang out with him. He is 13, so he thought he was a big somebody.  We tried to tell him it would end, but he didnt believe it.  It ended the minute she retained custody in court.  No more buddies to ride around with every night.

he is still out many nights as she lost her job and is back waitressing.  He also got kicked out of school for fighting and is now in a school where most children have been in juvenile hall already.

BM's bf moved a year ago from VA back to NH with his family.  He is a druggie, this we know for sure.  He has not been back to visit her since.  She went to visit him for the first time a few weeks ago, after lying to yss saying she was going to a work conference.  Now, she is lying to yss saying they are going to Atlantic City for vacation..when she is in fact taking him to NH to visit bf.

DH is upset and so am I.......we know she is planning on moving.  She has never taken yss on vacation anywhere.  And, she asked oss to go with her.......the only time she took him and yss anywhere was when she went for an interview when she was planning on moving four hours away (when she heard we were engaged).

We are mad knowing that she will do anything to separate dh from yss.  I also feel guilty as its like our marriage has taken his son away from him.  BM is now his best buddy.....there is no discipline, he never has to do homework.....he does as he pleases and gets goodies every week...he also knows that bm will cut him off if he chose to live here.  Just this past weekend he told oss (oss wanted her old computer)  "you know she is not going to give it to you unless you move there"  So, yss was acknowledging that bm will not do anything for oss because oss does not want to live in a big town.  She manipulates through what she can buy.......she gives to yss constantly - he chose to live with her.  OSS got a home of his own - she bought a few towels and that has been it...and in the past when he would be desperate for financial help, she would refuse because he chose to live with his dad.

I do not like the feelings I have with this - its like it has consumed my life -and I know I am less of a person than I was before.  I have children of my own and they are getting the short end of things as this anger at bm and how she gets away with all her dirty tricks burns away at me.  It also effects our marriage as I resent feeling this way and feel it wouldnt be like this had I not got married ....................

Has anyone else dealt with these issues that you have no control over...and taken control back over your own feelings?

Hi, I honestly came into the blended situation totally naive.  I have two children and while I get upset with my ex for ignoring our children and for not paying support, I dont fight with him.  I dont do things to be mean to him - and he doesnt to me either.  Now, I had realized that dh and his ex were still connected to anger, but I had no idea the impact this would have on our lives.....

His ex moved right before we married.  He went from seeing his son half the time, to six days a month.  The woman acts like I am her worst enemy - always has.  I met her before I was even dating dh - their son was with me and she ignored me when I tried to speak to her.  I tried to talk to her one time -and she was rude and bossy - and I flew off.  Told her lawyer I was mad because she gets child support - total BS!  She will do anything to pull yss away from dh.  And she will, in my opinion, destroy yss to do it.  Court was in January and I stressed for five months (since our marriage) helping dh prepare and dealing with it all.  YSS had said he wanted to live here - he is 13.  A month before court, bm's employees start buying yss gifts and hanging out with him constantly.  He thinks he is cool, he has 20 and 30 year old buddies that buy him expensive things.  He turned on us - and here we are in debt to a lawyer.  

I decided that was it.  I detached myself from that turmoil.  When he is here, I treat him fine, though I have come to realize that I dont look at him that much anymore.  I know he was bought, but he is old enough to know that as well.  He has behavior problems, we got counseling for him, but his mother said he didnt have to go.  He is learning disabled and his last grades were awful.  This coming Thursday a decision will be handed down - he either stays in school with restrictions: he has to do home tutoring, or he has to go to an alternative school.  

I think his mother is the worst excuse for a mother I have ever known.  She had him hanging with her buddies to keep him there - and these are people that are convicted felons - and one has been arrested this month for grand larceny.  She lies constantly - in court all she said were lies.  She ignores the court order.  She doesnt discipline yss.  She is not paying her rent - but she buys him goodies all the time.  She can make a friend so easily and yet she is the most evil person I know.  She does things just to irritate dh, like demanding an hour difference in anything dh says....she only dates guys that are druggies...doesnt help yss with homework or even try to get him to do it.....

YSS steals.  The last I knew was 11 packs of $5 yugi-oh cards from his mom's store.  He had new spike bracelets from his mom this weekend.  He also had a linkin park wallet and a spinner belt buckle.  He claimed those newbies came from classmates but dh didnt beleive him.  DH thinks he stole the items.   The mom's take on stealing -all kids do it.  He cannot clean himself when he goes to the bathroom.  He overpours everything he drinks.....

I am so tired of this woman's lies and games.  I have even wanted dh to stop seeing yss just to have this entire turmoil out of our lives.  But, dh of course isnt going to do that.  And I know I wouldnt give up my children either.

I had decided to take the stance of 'look how the children we raise turn out'.  Dh's oldest son has lived with dh since parents divorced, he has graduated, has a car, his own place to live and works two jobs.  He eats dinner with us often.  My two girls are honor roll students and would get hysterical if they were to get in any real trouble in school.....I dont mean to compare to anyone but in my own head, so that I could feel better.

But, recently I feel myself being pulled back in.  When bm didnt bring yss until 8:30 friday night when she had been in town for over two hours eating out with friends......after telling her lawyer she couldnt make it here any earlier than 7 because of her work schedule...

tired of this woman yanking our chains.  Her being in control of times.  DH is tired of hearing yss constantly say I want, I want....because he is so used to getting goodies now.  All the kid thinks about is what he can get.  

I love my dh - but I dont like the way I feel because of his ex.....

Hi all,

I have been a stepmom for seven months.  I had known my stepchildren for two years before marrying their dad.  I also have two girls of my own.  

My yss lives with his mom.  The oldest stepson lived with his dad, then after we married, moved out, but has lived with us for the past five months and is getting his own home.  Okay....I knew yss had problems - adhd, stealing, fighting, even stabbed someone's tires.  After we got married, an incident happened in which he fondled my daughter who is around his age.  He is now 13 and she is 12.  They had been playing truth or dare and I think he acted out more in frustration than sexual perversion.  To spare my daughter having to talk to others about this as she would get so upset, and to spare my ss from being labeled - I got counseling for my daughter and my dh and I asked ss' mother to do same.  She didnt - we had to make the contacts, even though ss lives 2 hours away.  Then she took over.  

Now, they moved 2 hours away right before we got married.  SS was adamant that he wanted to live with us.  She got a lawyer and fought this.  DH couldnt afford one.  Since they have moved, everything has been a struggle.  The order was not specific so she demanded all control over visitation and when he would come, when he would be picked up, etc.  She never informed dh of anything - so he contacted school  himself.  To this she wanted to know who he thought he was to talk to ss' teachers and such.  Now, granted, this was no different than the other three years of their divorce.......

Okay....so, she got two of her workers to start keeping ss.  One had a child - they are 'partners'.  the baby was taken away - why,  I really dont know......  SS was spending evenings riding around, at the mall, and having fun - not ever doing homework.  Still said he wanted to live here.  WE hired a lawyer.  Three weeks before going to court, his mom gets her 20 year old male employee to start spending time with ss.  SS for the first time ever, refused a visit to see dh - he had been told he and this guy would spend time together and promised a cd.  

DH would get after him for not behaving in school -  her friends gave him expensive gifts for being so good in school.   DH took him to a psychologist (counselor wasnt producing changes)- bm tells him that he doesnt need counseling.  Dh got after him for not doing homework, she said she didnt have time to be helping him.  SS is learning disabled.  

Her employees/buddies begin to take him out all the time, buying him gifts.  WE go to court with him still saying he wants to live here......SS is telling us how the next day he is getting a big sword to go on his wall, and a new cd he wants, and the weekend they are going on a trip to his mom's friends........and he goes and tells the judge that he doesnt care where he lives.  

BM lies about everything on the stand.  

Okay......I resent it all.  We had to borrow money for this lawyer - the entire time the child saying this is what he wanted.  I feel he just did it for goodies.  Now, he is rude to dh on the phone.  Acts like he doesnt care if he ever sees dh again.  

SS was the one who was after dh to date me.  He used to think I was cool......For three years, bm didnt do anything for him other than the basics - no goodies of any kind, no trips anywhere, no movies, nothing.  His dad bought any toys he had on holidays or birthdays.  In three weeks, bm and her buddies completely bought this child.  It's like he doesnt care about us at all.  

He told oss that this 20 year old guy has wrecked three cars - and ss rides around with him.  He also told oss that this guy smokes pot.  I am extremely concerned about why a 20 year old is hanging with a 13 year old to begin with.  He called dh the other night - and his cell started ringing, the 20 year old calling to see what he and his mother are doing.  His mother is a manager of a store and all three of yss best buddies are her 20 and 30 year old employees.  they have no lives outside of her and ss.  They work and then spend time with him...or are calling to see what he is doing.  Why would a 20 year old be spending all his extra time with a 40 year old woman and her 13 year old son.  

My oss is 19 and I cannot see him hanging out with a kid all the time.

I have been very angry over having to deal with all of this.  I am stressed to the gills........

Today, I told dh that I resent yss.  I resent the impact his bm and him have on our lives.  Our only fights have concerned yss - and the fact is there is nothing either of us can do.  BM calls the shots.  WE just get stressed out.  I feel that the only way I can cope is to simply not care as deeply where yss is concerned.  I will treat him with love, but I will not get involved with his failing grades.

I am just so frustrated.  All he talks about with dh is his new buddies and his new gifts.  And he treats dh like bm does - like he is a second class citizen.

I really dont understand a 13 year old boy choosing to live with his mom.  HE and dh have been so close.  And within weeks, all he cares about is her and those buddies......

Hi, just wanted some feedback on this issue.  DH got custody of son June 06.  Judge reversed visitation, giving bm 3 weekends per month and six weeks during summer, plus a schedule on holidays, etc....BM is to notify dh ahead of time her plans for visitation.

So, last November ss refused to visit her due to some 'lies' she told probation officer and honestly, we feel she did so because she would rather have him removed to juvie than here with us.   They were complete lies - about community service and his breaking curfew while with us....She also had an overnight with her lover/cousin who she has dated on and off for years now.  SS had brought home some games one weekend after being with bm and her cousin.  Said the guy let him borrow games.  AFter ss refused to go back to visit her, she called one night weeks later accusing ss of stealing games.  DH had ss to collect games and return them directly to her cousin/bf.  She then demanded dh pay for supposed damages to games and said a game was missing.  DH told her he would not pay for anything...she took ss to this man's house and as far as we know, games were in fine condition.  She fussed only about games for a month...never mentioned visitation to dh...dh finally wrote to her cousin who would not answer or return dh's calls and she shut up after that.....

She did not speak to dh about visitation, dealt simpy thru ss and didnt make any requests thru dh for visitation.  

In April she requested visitation for the first time and dh agreed in writing to her request.  however, she came for a counseling appt for ss and after talking to counselor alone, she changed the visitation and only saw ss for three days.  

She has not requested visitation since.

She has been going 3 - 4 weeks without calling ss.  In the past three weeks, she has spoken with him weekly and has asked twice when he was coming to see her.  He has told her he didnt know and it was left at that.  Mind you, she is not requesting thru dh...just talking to ss and doing so now when dh is working.

Whenever she talks to ss, she mentions her weekends with bf/cousin.  She goes to his house on friday and stays until Sunday.

Today, she had invited oss and his gf to her cousin's for dinner.  OSS' birthday is in a few days.  OSS asked ss to come.  When he called his mother to see if it was okay, she said no, ss could not come to her cousin's home.

SS will be 16 in November.  He would like to get a job.  BM is not paying her portion of medical bills.

We feel she isnt going to pay them as she thinks she will charge dh with contempt of visitation if dh pursues the bills.

She has clearly chosen her bf - who she sees every weekend and will not allow ss in his home - over ss.

We are considering waiting until near ss' birthday and then filing contempt on medical and limiting visitation as she does not use visitation she has and therefore, has basically relinquished those rights.  

On one hand, I feel she will start demanding visitation if dh goes for the money she owes.  As long as visitation stands as it is, she kinda has dh over a barrell, or thinks she does.

ON another hand, she owes the money.  And as long as the visitation order stays as is, she can demand a year from now to see ss three weekends and it would have to be given or be in contempt.....so, since she isnt using it and he is at an age to want to work part time....it would be in his/our best interest ultimately to ask for it to be reduced...

Any thoughts - should we let it ride...just hope she doesnt start pushing it and forget the money......or file for the money and try to use her own record against her regarding visitation so that cannot be held over our heads?

Custody order calls for NCP to have child on Columbus Day on even numbered years.  Our school system operates that day....bm lives 2 hours away.  When she sent in her demand for October weekends, we agreed to everything she stated.  She did not include a request for columbus day...and in fact, did the driving that weekend and brought him back on the Sunday.

She had not mentioned the day...until Thursday and then she told ss that she was entitled to make-up time for Columbus day.  

Also, ss asked her if he could stay for the homecoming game and come to her house today.  His dad was responsible for taking him at 6:00 yesterday to bm's house.  SS is 14 and he asked her himself if he could stay here last night because he really wanted to go to homecoming.  After much debate, she said yes......She says she gets make-up time for this as well...

Okay....she gets three weekends per month.  

Does anyone think she is owed a make-up day for columbus day - I feel she forgot it and looked over the order to see if she got Thanksgiving  and saw it then.....an afterthought......

As the agreement about last night was simply between her and ss, is dh in contempt for not taking ss last night?

Is he repsonsible for make-up time?  

If dh was in violation even though she allowed ss to stay, would make-up time change that?

The judge ordered the reversal of custody Monday in court, but ss has to stay with bm until school is out.  Meanwhile, dh is to continue his visitations.

DH called bm tonight to see if he needed to pick ss up tomorrow.  She said yes.  So, dh said - and you will bring him next week.  She said, No, that its her weekend because of the holiday.

DH is entitled to three weekends per month.....she took all of last weekend for mother's day.........and now another weekend.  she hung up on dh when he questioned her....

So, dh called back and told her that she needs to act her age and stop hanging up.  Then he told her that the court order gives her memorial DAY not the weekend.  It specifically says..."Memorial Day"   She told dh he is NOT getting ss all weekend.

this is crazy....she never lets up.  She even refused to allow him to speak to ss though he is allowed phone contact until 9 p.m.