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hubbys PBFH is just like this... I tell her she should not be so insecure, I tell the boys THINK about it think about what I did and what she said I did and form their own opinion.

Dont get upset with it she is trying to make them not like you cause you do things better then her and she is scared that they will like you more.  You can sew she cannot and so on...

she is insecure in her place and there is nothing you can do but ignore and tell the kid to form their own opinion ...think about who did what based on facts he saw and what she said and let it go.

Your sister and your family are in my prayers ..you know where to find me if you need to talk, vent scream or need a shoulder to cry on
*hugs*
Skye

I found this post on another parenting site called Parenting Planet.  I don't know who wrote it, where it came from, or when it was written



Stepmoms try harder.  Don't get me wrong - Moms have a very hard job, but stepmoms try harder.  They have to.  Moms have built-in respect - they can say "Because I'm the MOM, that's why!"  Try getting respect by saying "Because I'm the STEPMOM, that's why!"  Just doesn't have the same ring to it, you know what I mean?  (I won't even get into "Because I am one of the adult parental figures in this household, that's why!" - just rest assured, even before they roll their eyes at you, you'll feel pretty darn silly.)  Moms can say "No matter what you think, Young Man, you ain't too big for a whupping yet."  What can we say that equals that?  "Young Man, six hours from now, when your dad gets home from work, I'll be telling him you ain't too big for a whupping?"  Nice try, but no cigar - just doesn't carry the same effect.  
 
Stepmoms try harder.  How many of you remember being young - high school/college age - sitting around with your girlfriends, talking about the kids you'd have one day?  How many of you ever said "Boy, I just can't wait until the day when I get married to a man with kids and an ex-wife that hates my guts simply because I breathe air and I have to deal with her every other weekend?"  If you're like me, that never came up in those late night girl chats!  But we've all opened our hearts to our stepkids, even though half of their chromosones came from a women that at best we tolerate, and at worst we hate.  We see things in these kids that remind us of their mothers - sometimes even remind us of why we dislike their mothers - yet we still keep loving them, looking out for them, giving them chances.  Stepmoms have pretty big hearts.
 
Stepmoms try harder.  When things are going good, and everyone is happy, the biological parents get the credit.  Ever spent an hour at Wal-Mart analyzing all the eyeshadow options so that you can pick out exactly the right shade for your stepdaughter to wear with her new blouse on her date Friday night, only to hear, "Dad, you are so cool!  This is perfect!"  When things aren't so great, we get the blame.  "Dad wasn't this mean until you moved in!" - that's something a biological mother will never have to hear. The bond between a child and a parent is one of the strongest on earth - stepmoms with biological kids know this, and those without understand it also.  Oftentimes we willingly assume the scapegoat role, for the sake of our stepkids, so that they can grow up believing that their parents are good people and good parents.  We're not out to score points - the game is rigged and we know it - the bio parents won before we even entered the round.  We do this because we are good people, because we know in our hearts that applause and compliments are fleeting - we've found it in our hearts to put our stepkids' well-being before our own.  We like to see them happy, and don't care that much who gets the credit - as long as they are happy.
 
Stepmoms try harder.  We know that we have no legal or biological ties to our stepkids.  We know the world we live in - we know about no-fault divorce laws.  We know that one day we may not be part of our stepkids' lives, yet we still go out there every day and give it our best, with no guarantee for what the future will hold.  We forge relationships that we know can be severed at any time, and we all know we have no power to hold on to these children if our marriages to their fathers do not work.  Moms don't have to worry about that - it takes an active decision to stop legally being a mother - stepmoms don't have that option - our partners have control over that - we only have a passive role in the legal system when it comes to contact with our stepkids after divorce.  Yet we don't hold back - we love these kids as if they were are own - we love them and give them a place in our hearts that they can call their own forever - even though we know that might not be the case.
 
Being a stepmom sucks!  There's little or no payoff, it's the opposite of all our plans, there is no guarantee of success, it's a constant struggle to earn respect and love at the same time - why would anyone choose this path?  It makes no sense to me.  Yet we're all here making the effort, and we'll be back again tomorrow doing just the same.  Our circumstances are all different - some of us have harder roads to travel than others do - but we're all making the same journey.  I don't know how I do it some days - and trust me, I have it so much easier than most of you - and still, being a stepmom is the hardest task I have ever undertaken - if I want to give up at times, I can just imagine what some of you must feel, even on your good days!  
 
Take a moment to pat yourselves on the back, Ladies - being a stepmom is a tough job - I don't see anyone volunteering for it as their first choice, do you?  We fill a very important role - and we do it well!  

I think that the items belong to the kids...not you or him...I am not saying this to be rude...I do not know how old they are but any age over 6 the children should be responsible to bring them home...and if the kids lose toys at the park with you are you going to run right out and replace them? I think in doing this we have given the children an easy out to not have to be responsible...

I am sure not all will agree with me ..but it is my opinion...if my kids / stepkids want to take something to the other parents it is their job to bring it home...if they lose a toy they will look for it next time they visit ...if its lost oh well ...they made a choice to take it they were not responsible with it and the consequence is they no longer have that toy

Whoa yeah, let the games begin. You thought she was a nightmare before, just wait and see! We have custody and the crap she pulls is just amazing.....wow is that statement true or what...My DH gpt custody in 2002...and it has not stopped her from the BS and the drama...and trying to control everything...I thought it would get better ...now I KNOW better

I went through this so many times..first take a picture of her at pick up ..and take a picture of her at drop off..

document...

and do NOT send the clothes you buy for BM...keep them at your house..from the pics you will be able to show WHY you need to purchase clothes and keep them at your home

1. It does not matter where your DH lives it matters where the children live..have they resided there for more then 6 months? ( MN)






2. Airtran is the cheapest airline there is and the safest for children in my very honest opinion, my children fly with them often. They have service in St paul MN and also in Pitsburg and Philly PA .


http://tickets.airtran.com/skylights/cgi-bin/skylights.cgi

BUMP

thanks brent I appreciate you taking the time to look anyway...

My ex has been passing verbal messages through our daughter ..I told him no she does not need to be in the middle ..I dont want to push the issue by requesting we do a journal until I have that article  

I cannot remember for the life of me where to find the articles on sending a journal back and forth in high conflict situations...can you all help me out?