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My order stated that she pay her own insurance , During the divorce , I think you have a legitimate argument that she upped the coverage , And you could not afford the rates , And she will pay a bunch in atty fee's to try to enforce this . And I would tell your atty to ask for atty fee's for haveing to respond , becuase she upped the insurance ,
  Primarily she may be just Bluffing , My atty told me " untill you get the papers don't worry . You may be able to try your  court website and get into the search. type your name in domestic , Or family laW  , And see if it were filed ,
 I have been through all this , And IF this gets before a judge and you show she upped the insurance to a higher rate , I don't see the judge doing any thing , It's just going to cost you atty fee's ,
  My sicko filed contempt because i never paid  her spousel maintenance , Wich I was appealing . And by the time it was over it costed court fee's and  I had to pay a reduced amount of 900$ We were married short term  Also , If there is not much real estate or money involved just settle and get on with life , I dumped 100K In equity to get rid of her , I should have took it too trial . But then one of the judges had a heart attack , So it would have been rescheduled , So WTF , Sometime its better to settle and get on , But Not if there are kids involved , You may have to fight her for those kids ,

My self or no person on this site can guess the extent : Or lack of the extent : Of the issues that make you want a divorce : Divorce to me is a choice you have to make ! All the input you get from every person on this site including me Is purley based on YOUR SIDE of the story , And as for Me My side is right and SHE is the jerk thats why, I  Filed for divorce , And I am done period , That is MY choice , The rest of the choice is a big legal problem , And Maybe you could hope to try to get out easily , And do the least to hurt the children , But ONE QUESTION , That was common with Atty's and , The legal service person that served her was , "Does she want the divorce"? and the answer was "NO' And there repsonce was " she will fight you all the way " And she did, but it is over now. And I have no question in My mind : I am Happy without her ! I feel much better ;
  remmember this is your choice !

My atty use to say file every time , Its alway's good to have an atty that you can just ask

I have not filed contempt , However belonged to a mens group , And will relate the possibilities , With as little great detail as possible .
    SHE WILL LIE !!  And that could be the end of my story
  BUT ,FIrST ! Did you have her served   That paper , I think is called an affidavit of service In washington state , Filed with the court ? If not Get some one , And Not you ! To serve her , I have served people and I had to sign an affidavit of service , And file it at the court,There are also people that do this for 50 to $100, If  you don't legally have the affidavit filed , Your contempt is of zero use , She will not show and the court can't do any thing , She has to be served !!
 Here's what happened to My cousin , My very cool  atty filled the papers out for Him pro se < For free In like ten minutes , Some lucky guy got to serve the Psycho ( I volunteered  but didn't get the spot ) And they  Both showed up .Pro se, And the commissioner told them to  Work Out the visitation issues , And of they can't then ,They would have to come back to court ,
     But during  the waiting period  The psycho Started adhearing to the parenting plan ,  I showed up at the first visit with a video camera , And the Pick up was at Psycho sister's House . SOOO they started flipping us off etc , And I put the camera up and they behaved , I highly recommend . As My atty does ,that you show for the visits at the time and place ,And keep note .
  Also In the men's group I learned : You probably won't get the court to find her in contempt , Unless you have some documentation that really proves she Did it on purpose ,
  So what usually happens is , You say " Your Honor I have had to bring this before the court because Mom hasn't been complying with the court ordered parenting plan , Specifcally [The Issue ) Usually visitation
   And Unless the court intervenes she will continue to deny My visits . I want regular contact with My children and she hasn't been allowing that By : (What ever She is doing )
     
 And she will say Her dog died , Or her Aunt was sick or something like that , And it wasn't intentional ,
   And then You will be likely to have another word , And this is what My atty say's , And he tell's pro se guy's to say this :
    I am asking the court to Make a finding of contempt , Because Mom won't let me see the kids on a regular basis " And I also ask for make up time " And name times and dates you have off work, for the time to take place and the pick up and drop off time and place ,
   The reason My atty say's to do this, Is simple . He say's " It's not likely that you will get her on contempt the first time , But it's more likely that you will get make up time , And if you do then She had to take all the effort to respond and show up for court and had to give up the visit any way , So ask for make up time .  , Now if the commissioner agrees to make up time Or Contempt , You have to have iether a paper for finding of contempt , Or A court order , that will spell out the make up time , If you don't Keep reading my post
   Secondly I learned form My Many court expieriences , And watching other cases as Mine was coming up . If she makes up a story about you say clearly , I deny the allegations , All of her allegations deny, Or The court will tend to believe her , Deny ,deny, deny, as said By My cohorts . Buck Naked With no Blankets , And her heels Up, deny it happened , Unlees they have a picture or a document filed, its hearsay at court ,
 
 So My opinion Is this , If she shows You could get make up time . But again as my atty say's you have to keep fileing contempt , Eventually the court will see it your way ,
 And My atty say's For pro se . In Pierce county , Go to the court and get a copy of the CD Of the hearing and then go home and listen to it ,
  Then the next time You will know better , AND My atty say's maybe the commissioner was asking for something you left out , And next time you will have it ! But he Say's " By the time you Listen to three or four Cd's of your self trying to get a contempt , By the fourth or fifth time , You will have it right  , And The court should have it right !
   The other option is , She doesn't show In wich you file a default order . If she doesn't show , Take your Note book straight to commissioner services :  Pierce county washington court:
   And write down What you need to file probably a default order, go To the law library and ask for it , or the other orders I mentioned
  Now a bit of My input about dealing with the people at the court . ;Again as advised By My atty , Keep your story short and play the victim role , " My atty Is a smart cookie and he explains ; People always want to help the victim In America , : And in Court !
   So when you go to commissioner services of course don't play toooo HAAARD , Just say , I need the Default order , Because The mother hasn't been letting me see the kids , And we all want to see each other , And I probably am going to need a little help ? Then shut up and write the names of everything they tell you to get and where to go and say , Ok  , As In  My deal I did , I had to go to the law library and get X Y and Z Paper , Well of course by the time i got all that I went back to commissioner services and had to ask if I did it right , : BE NICE , It is so important , In pierce county they will Help you , My atty told me to be nice to them , SO I did and I got the motion Filed and then used My atty's aid to have her served , And she filed the affidavit of service , And then I filed the default order , also in the same way , JUST Be really nice to every one remmember you want them to help. and people help nice people ,
  Heres another case I watched , Couple argues their case before the commissioner , They tell the commissioner how each other is bad , At Length , AS will always happen the commissioner said " I understand that you aren't getting along , What's the Issue ?
   So the guy said , I need to get X Y And z stuff from the house and see the kids for a temp order <
   The Wife say's Blah Blah ,
   The commissioner say's Does he love his kids ,
   Wife : Yes
  Commissioner : Does he take care of them when he watches them ?
   Wife :"Yes "
  Commissioner : OK I need you  to present me with an order stateing he has temprary visits untill you sort this out " And An order to get X Y AND Z out of the house , And I will sign it "
' obviously i was there and ,My Cool attty was there , And another cool atty Were able tio give them a blank ORDER OF THE COURT , And they left ,
  I left Didn't see the end
   But heres the deal : I have learned With My many court issues over My son ,Usually I realised the commissioners ARE NOT IMPRESSED  With a bunch of How bad the other person is they want the facts ,
   And the facts for me were , Basically I showed up with an atty and asked for An order for the issue and briefly stated ,
   The GAL has recommended X And Mom won't cooperate so I have to ask the court to sign the order , And Moms atty went BLAH BLAH , I could tell the commissioner's are not Impressed , Then the commissioner asked My atty what I wanted , I said " I want to see My son 'I don't want to be involved in the Mud slinging ,
   GET THIS ! The female commissioner SMILED directly at me and said "when "? And What I didn't realise Is I need to have times and dates of pick up prepared In order to answer ,
   So I asked for more than I would get and the commissioner didn't give me all the time I wanted with My son , But Gave Me about the standard , With an extra day , Because I had an interactive class to do with My son .
   NOW GET THIS , The big Blow hard atty I fired , Went to court , And BLEW HARD ! And Just costed me money !! And I fired The dip stick !
 
  SOOO Go  Call the court and expect to be on the phone for a while , And also know what part of the court you will be in ,As in : Except for trial, I alway's went to the commissioners docket ,
 ask about that , And go watch the commissioners docket . And what I learned about this court is you get like five minutes before a commissioner ,
   And you will see how its done ,
  BUT now If you really want to twist the issue !Pierce county wash: If the commissioner doesn't do what you want, you can schedule a hearing before a real judge , By fileing a MOTION FOR RECONSDIRATION. Then you go see a real judge , But I would advise you to ask a local atty before thaT ,  
    good luck , Suit up, show up ,And be really calmn not matter what , OH Yeah , And don't fall for the trick she may pull of trying to be nice and get you to drop it , If she does this say OK Whatever , And show up and get a default order , Then tell her " I bet if you don't give me the kids again We go back to court " And walk away . I have other posts that tell how I handle things , Trust me My psycho Has Had My son there and ready for like two years running    As My psycho said when she was starteing to learn , She said " I know you will " And her atty sent a letter stateing that I need to tell when the makeup time would be <
   I come back and post because I feel that I have been successfull In at least getting my visits , And I owe it to the people on these boards to tell them that You sometimes have to file contempt , Or what ever and make them cooperate , As In My case  I think she knows I am just waiting for her to screw up . And As usuall she will just get legal sevice ,
Actually Id like to get her for two contempt in one year than I could challenge custody again , Because in Wash state Two In one year is reason for change of custody ,

I have been through all this , But the difference I My atty told Me to make an appointment with the doc , And BE NICE and review the medical record >: Of course there was no such " MILK Allegries " Or any other thing she accusee me of  , I filled out a form and requested copies of the Medical record , And sent My reply to her atty with the medical record along with a copy Of psycho mom's  ridicolous letter making allegations of Milk Poisening , Food allergies , And Things I did against alledged Doctors orders , Of course the medical record proved she was Lying ,
  But Before I responded I took My atty's advice and got the medical record ,
   She also tried  other stunts , I took the  letter from the doctor too the doctor , This letter said , My son was not supposed to be going any where because of an Illness , I also showed the Doctor the letter the mother sent through her atty making these allegations . Again the doctor said He did not write any letter with the intent to stop My son from coming over for visitation , But the mother had told him a different story , So the end result is . I have been very nice to the doctor , And didn't try to involve Him, I just asked about the record , and what the letter was for , . now the doctor and the nurses are pretty much on My side and Have voiced that , They tend to be nice and just give me the info , They think she is a real dork , I never said any thing bad about the mother !

I have represented My self pro se In cases that are not family law ,And done 'probably as well as any atty could ,
  I have had two family court issues that were involving a lot of money and Rights to my son .
   
    But first let me give a bit of history , And tell some of My story . Then I will conclude ;
   In useing atty's I fired the first two , And then got the atty that was a fathers rights advocate , and made it so simple that after the BS of the first two atty's, the good atty made it so simple so fast that I actually had doubts , Because the system is actually not that complicated ,
   What  I think is very important is this, You need to know what is important to the court in legal terms and what is not ,
 And what is important is actually in the law books , And My good atty showed me the laws , 'When I got close to trial , Of course if you read the Laws that pertain they are not really that complicated ,
  My problem would be to know what My argument is ,
   The problem with atty's has been. Even with what I call My good atty is : they are busy , And it is evident to me that its difficult for them to have the facts of your life straight , My case was encumbered by the typical Psychiatric Nightmare ,
  And the mother having the typical jerk overzealous atty ,
   So I had to use an atty .
 But, My second  atty was such an "Ad hock" slick talking representation that the court ruled the other way , It was abvious to Me that Failed atty number two did not just stay too the facts ,
   Actually My first atty did ok and looking back I could have stayed with Him , But I did not
   Here's the problem with the debate , That I see , And if you are going pro se . I implore you to do this as My very good atty told me to do , Call the court , And I had to take the day off and go to the court and watch a family law divorce trial , And I watched a custody trial ,
   I was NEVER Impressed at all By any super intelectual  Debate By any atty of iether side , What I was Not impressed By ,was the atty that went against The good atty that I hired , The oposing atty went on and on about abuse allegation's And My atty did a decent job of cross examination That caused the judge to not believe the allegations , Wich were some fairly simple and obviuos questions one could ask to dispell a story , Related to the practicality of the allegations and time frames involved , And let Me tell you . My good atty reall did zero legal maneuver's or any thing really tricky , SO AGAIN I SAY IF you are attempting to go pro se than contact the court and go watch a couple of trials ,  All that happened to me was the court asked if I was a party to the case or a witness , "I said no" ,  And they asked my name and assume they checked the record to see if I was on the witness list , And let Me tell ya it was all pretty boring , But what I learned is this Including in My trial , Was NO ONE !! ever said or did any thing so intellectually profound that I felt that I could not do it my self , But I used the good atty because He gave me all the great info  And Invited me to watch him in a trial , And too me that say's a lot about an atty'S confidence In how he handles himself at a trial , GO WATCH A TRIAL : And or find out where you start , IN Pierce county , When An issue starts over children You start with a commissioner NOT a judge , And then get a Judge for a REAL hearing in Like one year ,
  But before the trial you get a TEMPORAY ORDER .
    SO My real input  to you is the first step you need to do is talk to a bunch of atty's And you will ask questions That are posted some where In this site About ATTY selection . This site has a lot of info in it, and to me mostly pertains , However  Some of the questions I would ask and want Positively answered If I were to go through this again would be
  , ? Can I see you In trial ?  How do you feel about trial as apposed to settleing , ? The answer should be like  what My atty told me that is so simple , My atty said " First read the parenting plan where it addresses Dispute Resolution , Does it say what to do before trial "? And yes Mine does say
 To go to Pierce County center For dispute resolution ,
   Onother question from a good attty Should be " is there a parenting plan In place "? And if there is is this an Issue of contempt because the mother is not havieng the children there and ready for the visits "
   Or is it a modification of the parenting plan because there is a significant change ?
   SOOO Then ask the atty If He She represents Non custodial parents more or Custodial Parents more
  My atty is a mens rights atty . And He clearly answered , " I mostly represent Non custodial Men "
  So My story can go on and on , But My atty also explaind that this really isn't a complicated issue . Famil;y law isn't that complicated . Its just a matter of knowing what you need to do about the Issue and what Your argument is , " Read My other posts , I explain a bunch , And this is My expierience And all cases are slightly different , But its basically this , You need to know what to do . What you do isn't complicated , You need to know , Are you fileing contempt because Mom Isn't going By the court order already in place ? Or do you just need to take the first step and apply for mediation for a Modification of the parenting plan because of change of circumstance ,
 And when you talk to atty's A good one will cut to the facts and probably not listen to a bunch of he said she said , And get to the legal issue , And what your attempted remedy is , My good Atty told me to apply for mediation , And at the  time he would set a court date , And if I settled the issue at mediation we cancel the court date ,
   I am trying to give you the simplicity of what a good atty does , A bad atty wants to just go Bla Bla Pay me . A good atty will get to the point and say what to do , SO I say unless you get an atty that answeres atty selection questions confidently ' And no One can really predict the out come because no one knows what the other side will do , A good atty will, tell you to attempt mediation first , Rather foregoe court costs when you may come to some agreement , My good atty puts it very simply , If she is not going by the court ordr its contempt , And If You guys can't solve it through mediation then you need to go to the judge or commissioner , And the commissioner will decide , And you neeed to know if you are likely to get the situation to be any better by asking the judge , My opinion is , Usually visitation issues are eventuall straightend out by the court aftyer a few tries at contempt , But there's not alway's an instant fix to these problems ,
   Here's whatMy atty say's about pro se litigants " People can do well because they know there lives better than any atty possibly could "
   However as a pro se litigant , And even as My experience with an atty , Is this the court just wants the fact , And not a bunch of Bs , I reperesented My self  In a small family issue knowing this , And the commissioner thanked me for staying to the facts and not going on and on , And in the end My psycho ex went on and on and the commissioner finally told her " I don't believe you " In one of My other recent posts in Like GENERAL or Fathers , I write the story as to what the people in court said , And it wasn't much , You should read it , It has been My experience that all the BAd mouth and Bla , Is what the court doesn't like they just want the facts , Mine was simple . I told the commissioner I want to see My son , And thats really all I said , And I learned a very important lesson . STAY WITH THE FACTS !! And deny her allegations or they tend to believe it !
  Also Before you Actually hire an atty , Try contacting the court and see what the court facilitater say;s , then Call the Bar association And ask for atty's that help pro se litigants , And call the court again and sak if they have a night where atty help pro se litigants , All this happens here in Pierce county washing , But have a pen and paper in hand and get the facts times dates and procedures corect , I filed My divorce pro se , And By being nice and asking commissioner services , They helped me alot , BE NICE TO EVERY ONE and you will get help , And don;t bother to bad mouth any one figure out what your case is and stick to the facts , If its a Modification . A contempt or Mediation , I think your facts are probably simple once you find out , Heres what My first atty did , And I recomend . Write a simple letter and say why you think theres a problem , Wait a day and re read it and edit it to what the facts are , then give it to every atty you talk to . My first atty basically said " the court won't give a change of custody for the reason . The mother is a big liar and a drama queen , And it all played out to be I got a parenting plan and a child support order . With a lot of grief in the middle . Including fireing Him and another atty ,then getting an atty that was similar to atty Number one , And atty number one told me the facts , Basically , and that was I will get a parenting plan and a child support order , SO again and again I say find out what your facts are and how to accomplish this . and what your argument is and watch a trial , Interview a bunch of attys , And talk to the entities I suggest , then decide what to do , DON"T Just go do something because you feel compelled , And Maybe you issue is very simple and the only way you are going to know is By investigation , To Me the quickest way is to talk to several atty's . You may just wind up fileing contempt pro se  A few times untill Mom realises she has to cooperate with the existing plan , You probably want to avoid a big court process if you can mediate ,file contempt or just modify . A custody battle is a large undertaking and can get expensive with the wrong atty , If you get an atty that is going to depose people , Send depositions , And investigate he should be clear about why and how this can better you case ,
  These are My opinions and my experience . I have been through the whole game . My experience is likely to be different from others . But I say, try to listen to people who have completed the courts process , I see it differently on the other side than I did when I was in it < In the end I am BASICALLY satisfied

I have to try something other than forcing him , They all think they invented selective hunger ,

Any Idea's one getting My son to eat his vegetables ? He is 5 YO And has what seems to be the typical arguments ,

you may ask a realtor . Or a real estate atty, it may have to have the legal description etc , wich will reguirea trip to  whomever does the recording of legal docs in your area . Here the pierce county auditor record documents in relation to real estate ,,

After the false Allegations and protection order , The psycho went and tried to renew the Protection order , Then the commissioner said he didn;t believe her story and  sent the case over to family law, We settle out of court but psycho insisted there be a mutual restraining order , the problem IS , When I called for property release of my guns , They told me because there were the words Threatening in the order , the Brady bill automatically is checked off and I would not get My guns back , So the Psycho has the same verbage in the mutual restraining order As I do But they did not check off Brady Act . So she gets her guns back , I go to get My guns back . With exactly the same verbage and Brady act is checked yes , And I don't get My guns back !Any one know any thing about this ?