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Here's what really stopped the BS In My situation , , Bring a video camera , . My theory was to make no bones about it and have it in hand , They seem to behave
     On the other hand the legal aid at My atty's office told me to do it covertly let them make the allegations and then Use the tape , I'm not sure how that would really work because , I was told that the judges use discretion because they suspect that you could bait them into something . Then tape it ! , And My tapes never went to court , But I did show the guardian ad Litem the tape when she had made up an allegation , it didn't make much difference ,
      Another thing I did was set the recorder up in the car for when I drive up and stay in front of the camera , I really think the best effect of the video tape is it keeps every one honest ,
    I think what kept her honest was her knowledge of me hiding the camera in the car ,
      She would frequently be looking 'peering into  the car when I came up and this seemed to keep her honest ,
   The allegations  About the transfer times stopped and she thought of some other crap to pull . but it didn't work ,
    Picking up at the police station is pretty good ; My pick up is at Mcdonalds , The reason is Mcdonalds has a time and adress on their reciept , And My atty told me to but a coke at the transfer to show I was there , However she hasn't tried any crap since the transfer is at mcdonalds , , Its hard to make the change to a neutral transfer point , But As My atty said " Every one likes it when they do it "
    As far as vacation I have a similar problem . I sent it to her atty of record and asked for a .. recieved stamp to be put on it . And My atty said If there is no objection take him on vacation " , I'm thinking of changing the parenting plan to have my dates in permanantly , That way I don't have to go through it , Keep asking !!! and posting . You will get a variety of Ideas .

you going to have to ask an atty , yes in Wash state if there is no custody decree , then this is possible , I saw My atty win a case when the father took the child , But All these cases are a bit different , and I would interview atty's , or post the question to Socrateaser's board ,

Agreed!

I  Am kind of wondering where my sense of humor went' ?

My case Has been settled By a real judge for over one year now , And I had some other minor drama , I know many of you have read My post's , I have been through all the crap that many of you still face , But It's almost 'dd'that the drama and worry and trouble is over , I even told My atty , Heck she doesn't even seem to be  trying to cause any chaos lately , , He said "It's because all the court action is over"However I have A feeling she's going to be  a punk about my vacation time, As she was last year , And Its time for her to choose her vacation time first , And she hasn't ,  However this drama isn't even a big deal this time she knows I'll take her to court in a second any way ,  , The drama of it all is over for me , It will be buiseness as usuall , and If she doesn't cooperate The thought of another court date almost seems like the thing to do for excitement , And I usually Got something each time ,  SOOO the real question is  , Anyone deal with the lack of chaos , And it seems wierd ?, It's buiseness as usuall and I am for the most part worry free about my son ! And my visits , Again I say except for the minor crap , Since I took her to court sooo many times, she seems to have learned , And has not even tried to interfere with any of my visits , I talk to her very little at the transfer ,  And I just don't think after the whole court battle and her every allegation she could dream up,that there are any new allegations she could come up with , I guess thats the good thing about a real dip ,  I can't think of any new tricks she could try to pull ,,ANY thoughts out there on the absence of Idiot behavior?

You wrote that you make 10X her wages then mentioned that she Makes $1,OOO PER MONTH  ,  That sounds like You would get that child support amount established at court Any way ,But on the other hand it sounds like you did great on parenting time , My two cents . What could be better than getting that much time with your son ? After what I have seen . If I made 10x Her income , I would take the agreement , BUT In Washington state All custody decree's "not heard by a Judge " Are  Orders that can be challenged , Then again , It may behoove you too live with this for a year or what ever an atty recomends , That way tyou have established that she agreed to this parenting plan , And In wash state Parenting plans and custody are heard as separate Issue's . , SO In a  Amount of time decided By an atty and you Maybe challenge the support order , BUT I would ask an atty , Child support In wash state is based on what you make and what she makes , Then put into a ratio , So try to find out how child support is established , Calculate it . And see if its worth fighting . And yes you have the child more than half the time , But In wash state It would go the same way ,

there use to be a guy up there called marvin ,     My last addy   [email protected]  .     Also up there is a  legal aid group called Northwest  justice project ,try those , I dated a girl that worked for the NW justice project , they are  low cost Atty's . you may be able to use them, BUT they have a fantastic self help web site . try searching it ,I have some other links , Email me [email protected],I some how have this  Washington law site that keeps sending me up dates , I need to re read some of your posts but that should give some home work , Be pro active

What I learned , I am Much like you and My atty figured it out and said , What you think I have a crystal ball , Go watch a trial , Thats what My atty told me too do and it helped , Because I saw the court  and the judge as really human ,There is a lot of fear and anxiety , Mine was several rental houses  I own and , How much time I get with My son , And how much it costs to get divorced , And Yes , There are diffierent opinions , But generally  I saw that there isn't a lot too it < One thing My atty did that was expensive , was to depose her , Too see what she was going to say , And of course she lied , But told the truth a little , You will be likely to settle out of court , I did not  read in your post about  property, So if there isn't much money involved then , It will boil down to the kids , And that may be where you focus your efforts , Stay cool , This passes ,  It takes a year to get to court here for divorces , So Find a hobby,, not much will start to happen untill you get a case schedule, then . Every one will start sending papers back and forth ,Mostly to find out what you want  As far as property division and A parenting plan . You could occupy time By getting a parenting plan and ,writing down a property division list , And a temporary property division list , It drives you nuts But it will be done , And I am Happy that I am divorced now that it is over !!

I went through this on the other end , I am a MAN , But here is what happened ,There was a Guardian Ad Litem on board  , That is standard procedure here in Wash state , She told the GAL similar accusations ,  We went to poly graph testing , She failed. I passed , So then all this became a big mistake and The allegations weren't really made . SOOO without much  depth  In my situation , Let me explain what I have seen and heard , At court I saw these allegations made By another litigant , And the commissioner said , Let me see the proof , So the Woman making the allegations said , "I have a report from child protective services ", So the commissioner wanted it , He read it and said" this does not substantiate the allegations " And basically sent the two on there way , So This is something the court see's all the time , and the judge, Or commissioner has to make a call on the issue "  It doesn't seem to fly unless there is evidence . And  If I comprehend your post no  legal entity believed it " So It Is My opinion from what Happened to me ,nothing will really happen < But If the issue of the Dad putting the finger up the butt is proved or believed , there could be reall problems for the Dad , The generaL PROCEDURE , iN WASH STATE  is to have a Guardian ad Litem appointed , This person investigates  the info and reports to the judge , The Judge doesn't investigate , Because their job is to be the judge , And they are not likely to do much untill the judge see'sproof , DO NOT Use My post except for the purpose of provoking thought , You should interview Many atty's and get one that Talks like normal and explains what the process is , As in ,Like appoint a GAL , Ask all the atty's about this , Alway's remmember , all the legal entities have heard all this crap many times < You sister or the ex have not invented this and sometimes it is true , the court has to go through there legal process with this kind of crap .  My only real advice is to talk to many atty's and don't hire any one that talks a big story , Hire the one that is calm and talks about the legal issues and the process , this is a tough situation , and with out the guideance of a good atty , Your sister could have some trouble , I think the finger up the butt thing is something that will lose The perpetrater contact with the child , I suggest you try to get your hands on the domestic violence reports , and the DuI report , and have it all ready for an atty to look at , This is only what I think from having been through the system on many allegations . And one similar to the sexuall allegations , if  Your sister goes to the court with this and the court believes it , the Dad will have to go through the whole process , If it were Me I would talk to many atty's about this issue , there are a lot of good atty's ,  You just DO NOT WANT A BAD ONE !!! or one that will just eat up your cash $ . And finally It is my understanding that if you believe the child is going to be in danger , You don't have to give the child to the other parent , However , He could take her to the court and She will have to have her ducks in a row to answere , I personally would have my ducks in a row ! And not give the child to some one that stuck there finger up His butt !!And for the sake of this child ,  When you interview atty's ask questions about there approach , And try not to get an atty with a reactive  And aggressive  approach , You want to talk about legal issues , And its not About aggression , the atty's see this pandamonium constantly , And there should not be some big reaction , i say this because . Atty's have been  lied to , After being through this process and being affiliated with a Mens group I have seen where the side that is making the allegations turned out to be the one doing it , Thats why I say the attorney should have a very factual and legal approach , And serious buiseness attitude ,

My trial ended , My case was different , and the evaluater , A so called psychologist believed the mom , there was not really the level of bs that you had , , My atty said he didn't really think I would get custody , My situation was , that I had a child from a casual affair and the Mother said she would never let me see My son , And I have a parenting plan in place ,  I have a standard visitation plan , I think it could have been diferent if I had a different GAL and Evaluation , And I did a couple things that the psyco blew out of proportion , Thats why I keep telling you not to do any thing ,or talk to Any one on her side  [Easpecialy] to the mom or her relatives Because this can screw things up a bit , But still yet a Had a piece of garbage for the second GAL , , And The evaluater had 9 reports against him , I had bad luck of the draw , But  I still advise you to keep in Mind that the judge pays attention to the GAL and the evaluater , But they also know that Psych evals Are really not the whole picture , That again is why I say , Be a Good parent , and don't do any thing  unless you ask your atty <