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While you note that ex and you are not on good terms, it seems that you believe the legal system is the only recourse. It's okay to rethink that one - ex has validated the importance of you as a dad in child's life. There is always hope for improved communication and bettered relationship. Times are tough, this is certain. But is it possible for you to pull yourself out of the arrearage? This is often seen as an important symbolic move by the custodial parent that the noncustodial intends to partner up financially and emotionally for the child.

Have you considered mediation? It could bring you a written agreement that may or may not (according to what you seek) be encorporated into an order of the court - but written by the parents and created through brainstorming together.

I think this is a great idea, also- mom may balk at 50/50 right away- because, as you said, you've been MIA....but if you agree to less time than you actually want now (like formalizing what you have been doing) but the agreement is part of a graduated schedule that over the next 2 years (arbitrary #) works up to 50/50...that might be acceptable to mom.

Any time the parents can work out an acceptable agreement rather than having the court determine what will happen- all parties tend to be happier- and end up spending WAY less.

If dad filed for visitation contempt, then that's the subject he sticks to.  And the other instances are actually also possible contempts, and if dad doesn't file for that subject, you can only use it to show the lack of cooperation and the fact that mom has a tendency to lie, so why believe her now.

If dad can fix the other subjects without going to court, that's the route I suggest.  Examples of mom's behavior -- maybe.

the fact that mom was ALREADY held in contempt once before I think will also help during this round. 

Lastly, in one sense you can't go back in time before the last round and bring stuff up now because once the court issues an order, you're supposed to move forward.  HOWEVER, if you just recently found out about it, then maybe it becomes additional justification.

I'm no attorney that would know exactly how to maneuver my way in court and use the right stuff.

I agree and will add- you can also use evidence that has been previously used as long as you use it in a different way, so the evidence that was used in the prior contempt might be useful in this contempt case- NOT to get a contempt ruling on those particular behaviors but to show a long standing pattern of mom's behavior that was not influenced or deterred by court involvement.

I couldn't agree with Davy more!

Additionally, what are you wanting to happen? Are you wanting a formalization of what you have been practicing? Mom may not be against stipulating to that.

I agree with Tigger in that a savvy lawyer could easily turn this into a negative for you as well.

Additionally, you would have to be able to authenticate the tape to have it admitted into evidence.

I just want to pop in on this- I agree that OP should be prepared to authentic any evidence, but it has been my experience (me being pro se, ex having an attorney) that I have not been asked to authentic anything, if the other side doesn't argue the evidence, it's admitted into the record

no you will not go to jail if there are no orders regarding the children- however I caution you to find out if dad somehow gave guardianship of the kids to his parents

you might want to see what it would come out to through your state's on line cs calculator.....before doing anything to rock the boat- I couldn't read your whole post- it was too hard on the eyes.

check your pms

I listened to you on Get Your Justice Live, I will be reading the book and recommending it. I have also put it on the recommended reading list at the non-custodial moms site I belong to.

Thank you!

What is your question?
Has paternity been established for the child?

well I went to court today and it didn't go great but atleast I get to see my daughter now and will have a piece of paper with dates on it so I can have something for the police to help inforce. I only get to see her for 4 hours 3 times a week. The judge told me no overnights but if I do well we can re-evaluate in 6 months for one overnight every other weekend. IF I DO WELL! we were in court today because I asked to have my visitation inforced and somehow I walked out with less visitation ordered and I have to wait 6 months to re-evaluate. This is less than the state visitation guide-lines. I don't get it somehow being male and in the army means that I am somehow unable to parrent my child. Once again if anyone has any advice or knows where I can look for help please let me know.

take this 6 month re acquaintance time and use every possible minute...court doesn't always seem fair or right, and in your shoes I would be angry too...but you have to work within the system, show the court what a great dad you are then mom really won't have a leg to stand on for denying you time.....good luck

There is a way you could work the year round school to your benefit.  I believe in a year round situation they attend for 45 days off for 15 or something to that effect.  Request that you get the bulk of the breaks as well as the weekend visits!

I was thinking the same thing.....