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This is one idea I had. . .
If I was not reimbursed for travel expenses, would I be able to send a letter to the NCP stating this:

"As per our court order, we are to split travel expenses, with a reimbursement from you of X dollars. As I did not receive this reimbursement from you for the weekend of X, I am unable to cover the cost of travel to your community for visitation of the weekend of X." (The next scheduled weekend) "I am not canceling visitation. I am simply unable to bring Child to your community. You are welcome to visit Child in this community for the same hours. By your covering the full expense of travel to this community for that weekend, that would equal the reimbursement from the weekend of X."

What do ou think?
Any thoughts would be appreciated. . .

If I am reading right- and please correct me if I am wrong, but it looks like you are expecting the payment before the travel? That's not the way reimbursement works.

You need to do the travel, log your expenses...
Submit to him a "bill" and ask for reimbursement...

Then he would be on the hook to send you money.

What is the exact wording of the reimbursement part? Any guideline on how to handle the request for reimbursement (ie, within 10 days etc)?

Hopefully she calms down and puts kiddo on the plane!

The sex of the parent doesnt matter. Fathers make great parents as well as mothers.

I agree- both parents are equally important in a child's life, removing either can be detrimental.

I think the gradual schedule is very reasonable, and in dad's defense, just because you have been providing all of the child's day to day care does not mean he is incapable of doing the same. Every parent is a first time parent at some point....I came home one day and dd was wearing a diaper backwards.....dad didn't quite know how to put it on LOL....they figure it out, and maybe as part of the gradual schedule you can help him (nicely)with anything he is a little unsure of......

LM...as a mediator I deal a lot with figuring out what can work, especially when court doesn't look like the most productive option (and if you think mom has a bad attitude now....wait til after dad and the "new mommy" try to take away her daughter...)

There is always an entire "option spectrum" the goes all the way from the ridiculous on one end to the ridiculous on the other, it's not just court or no court.

I'm going to throw out some options and you just think about them. Not saying any one of them is the right one...they are just options.


1. Skip the prepaid phone- get a parental control phone that only makes and accepts calls to a number you pre-program in- (your number)

2. Moving to mom's area is an option- an inconvenient option to be sure- but the one most likely to address every single issue and goal regarding the child. Te money saved in transportation costs could makes up any difference in income or cost of living.

3. Dad can try to talk to mom, not in the - hey you are doing all of this wrong way- but in the- you and I both know this sitch has sucked for a long time, what can we do together to make this comfortable for the next 7 years?

4. Dad could travel to daughter's area on a regular basis to spent time with her and give her more of his influence since he is worried about mom's example.



This is only 4 options.....there are probably a ton more, but these seemed the most reasonable to me off the top of my head.

[HIGHLIGHT=#ff0000]If you live in a one-party state you can record your calls as back-up as well.[/HIGHLIGHT]


I just want to address this part, I believe they are in separate states, so interstate recording may be illegal without two party consent....best to check this out before starting recording, otherwise I agree.

Yes, get the matter before the court, right now you have been the child's primary caretaker for his whole life, and have mom's implied agreement that you act as the child's primary caretaker. Good Luck!

Remember, if mom is claiming abuse, the burden is on her to prove the abuse...but that means you need to know how to demand she prove that.

Oh how I wish this was true.  In family court, she doesn't have to do anything but make the claim.  In our case, my husband was accused of a laundry list of things - from sexual abuse to threatening to kill her and her boyfriend.  She had to provide NO evidence.

My point was there are ways to keep reminding the court that these are just allegations, and to back the other side into a corner during testimony that will undermine their claims. One cannot not address the claims though.

I know I am a few weeks late to this thread...but I did want to say- no judge or GAL is going to think what mom did was in any way "cute".....sheesh.

Why can't kiddo give dad the number?

Basically, until you have some orders (temp or otherwise) then who ever has possession of the children is in the position of power. She doesn't have to give them to you and you don't have to give them to her. I caution against using that to some perceived advantage at this point though, it may not look good to a judge or GAL (and that would hurt you more in the long run)...


The best thing to do is get together the $400 or so it takes to file for divorce in Florida and file, ask for what you want regarding your children and request a temporary order for the duration of the court process.