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I really think it depends on the situation.  It is hard for younger children to make that distinction especially when other half-siblings call the step-parent "Mommy" or "Daddy".  In my situation my husband and BM were never married.  Since my husband and BM did not have a committed relationship, I have been with my husband since before my SD was born.  Being there her entire life and then having her half-brother (our son) born when she was 3 really makes calling me "Mommy" harder to avoid.  But now that she is 9, she does understand the distinction between Mommy me and Mommy BM, but still continues to call me Mom as well because that is what she is comfortable with.  I think in the end that is what is the most important - the child's comfort level.  However, it can be hard when they're younger because they just don't fully understand.  Also when there are multiple boyfriends or girlfriends it can get confusing and frustrating for parents as well as the children caught in the middle.

I would have to second the previous response.  My husband actually had a similar situation with the mother of his daughter.  The difference was that she was moving in with different guys and it was approximately 3 over and 4 year period.  He did bring it up in court but that was at the initial custody/visitation determination not a change of custody.  And it did create a very tense situation for quite some time.

We have had to deal with a couple of malicious acts of calling CPS (unsubstantiated) and it doesn't seem like there is a lot you can do but document each time and bring it up when the time is right.

So do you even have any existing custody/visitation order? It is not necessarily the same thing as a child support order.  Were you ever married to your daughter's mother?  My husband filed for custody in Arizona when there was an existing child support order in Nevada.  My husband and his daughter's mother were never married and she didn't know that custody and child support are two separate things.  He ended up getting primary custody in Arizona even though the child support case still stays in Nevada until BM has moved out of the state.  If you can answer the above questions, I may be able to give you helpful information from my experience as applicable.

From the information you provided I would think you have a decent chance.  It all depends on how your lawyer presents the information and how BM replies.
I don't know how Michigan is with father's rights and being non-biased toward the mother but here in Arizona they seem to be making great progress on that front.  My husband has primary custody of his daugther. Him and the BM were never married and there was no existing custody order.  She brought up a bunch of his ancient history (all misdemeanors from about 7 years prior to no avail.  They ended up settling in mediation afterward.  So I think as long as you have a decent lawyer that knows the ropes, you should be fine.  Good luck.

Until you have something from the court dictating custody and visitation arrangements, anything can happen.  If I were you, I would file first before your ex gets a chance to.

What state are you in?

SD hasn't seen this therapist for approximately 2 years and he is very highly regarded by the courts, etc as well as by us.  This current problem is relatively new since BM went on the rampage starting this past November.

My SD is 9.  SD has seen a regular counselor/therapist prior to us learning what BM has been telling my SD.  SD stopped going because the therapist said SD was a happy well adjusted little person and didn't need counseling.  I guess it couldn't hurt to send her back and inform the therapist what new developments have taken place.  Thanks for the advice.  Sometimes it takes a fresh set of eyes to see outside the box.

Well, my SD again went to BM's house for Spring Break.  This time for a week.  The situation seems to be getting worse.  SD came home and told us that when SD arrives at BM's, BM takes her backpack, clothes she's wearing, glasses, everything she brought with her and locks it up in the closet.  SD says that BM is afraid we are tracking her by GPS.  SD also said that BM told my SD that she is afraid my husband will come there in the middle of the night and hurt her.  My SD says she knows that is not true, but BM saying it makes her uncomfortable.  Also SD told us that BM set up a code for while they are on the phone during the week.  When BM asks my SD if she had a good day at school, if my SD says anything other than "school was good", BM knows that my husband and I have been hurting my SD.

I am just hurting so much for my SD.  It makes me sick that BM is doing this to her.  In all honesty, we are beginning to truly believe that there may be some undiagnosed mental condition that BM is suffering from in order to make her think that it is okay to put her daughter through this in order to "win" custody.

To try to help my SD she has been enrolled in the "Changing Families" counseling group at her school.  It seems to be a good venue for her to express her feelings. In addition, my husband and SD have enrolled in a group called "Children of Divorce" that is put on by a local non-profit organization.  We hope that these groups will give her tools to better cope with this situation.

Sorry for the venting and I'm not sure really what my question is, but I just don't know where to start.  Any advice on the possible course of action to get this behavior by BM to stop would be great before we bring in the lawyer.