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How did you go about the Power of Attorney? Any suggestions on where to get the form?

I am a StepMom asking for advice on behalf of my husband. My husband has joint custody with his ex-wife of their two children. His visitation schedule is from Friday to Monday every other weekend and on opposing weeks Friday to Saturday. Along with alternating holiday times and sharing school breaks. For the most part he is able to pick them up from school but he is insales and on some Fridays he is unable to pick them up. I am home withour other children and am able to pick them up but his ex wife has gonedown to the school and notified them to not release the kids to me. Nowit is my understanding that from the end of school on Friday they arein his care and he should be able to decide to designate someone elseto pick them up on those fridays only? She also has told the school not to allow him to add anyone to the emergency cards, she also told the school she would rather not provide them with a copy of current court docs and even signed a form saying as much.  My husband went down to the school and talked with the principal and he was very rude and said that he did not want to get involved, that he had been doing this for a long time and would follow Mom's wishes. And although my husband did state that they have joint custody the principal was very flipant about it and ushered him out of his office. We were advised to write a letter to Mom explaining that she needs to refrain from interferring with his parental rights and to also write a letter to the school saying as much and include a copy of current court docs.

Both Mom and Dad have discussed this particular issue. On someoccasions she has agreed to have me pick up the kids and then changesher mind when she is upset about something. She gives "her"permission for me to go to the school to pick up and then changes hermind. I have picked them up half a dozen times this school year. Lastnight it was a go, then she got upset because she wanted some clothesthe kids wore back (the kids have a set of clothes at Dad's and clothesat Mom's so no bags go back and forth) so she got in a tizzy about theclothes and decided that I couldn't pick up then 15 minutes beforeschool let out I was given the green light. She won't agree to add meor any of Dad's family members to the emergency card but has her own onit.

The reason for wanting to pick up from school in actuality is tominimize contact as much as possible. As much as everyone's tried toget along it just doesn't happen and ideally picking up and droppingoff on neutral ground by 3rd parties is best. So the back and forth onpermission to pick up is on ridiculous matters. So my question was tofind out if Dad has any rights to say I want this person to pick up onmy day to cut the control strings on this issue.  There is no first right of refusal and the only other provision is "whenever feasible, both parents agree that when child-care is needed, the other parent will be considered as the care-provider of choice for the chrildren for periods of time exceeding 8 hours."

Can anyone give me some examples or some input on what to write in these letters?

I also was wondering if there are any guidelines on Mom calling during Dad's visitation. She calls anywhere from 2 to half a dozen times a day? It becomes very irritating for everyone including the kids. She is grilling them about what they are doing and on one occasion my step daughter was supposed to have a sleep over with her cousin at her Grandparent's house, but Mom decided she didn't want her to go and made my step daughter promise she wouldn't go even though Daddy said it was alright (btw, my step daughter is only 5 and as you can imagine this was very confusing).

Thanks for any Help!