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You may want to find an attorney who is familiar with the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) and/or look it up yourself to see if the answer is there for you. Good luck!

He may just be pushing you to see how far he can go before you stop loving him and/or abandon him. Just keep hugging him, letting him know there's nothing he can do to get you to go away. He isn't developmentally mature enough to have that good a grasp on why he's doing what he's doing in the home. It's usually a cry for positive reinforcement. So, to that end, taking things away (rather than earning rewards) tends to reinforce a kid's insecurities about what he's worth. Good to see you're doing that good work, where "when we're done with our chores we can go out for ice-cream," replaces, "we all get ice-cream except for you because you didn't do your chores." This may make him resent the goody two shoes in the family and act out more.

Ocean, great idea! Another thing that improves these matters is to take stepson aside and offer him a private conversation, always open door, always a good ear - without giving advice unless he asks. If you say, "I'm always here to listen to you when you have something on your mind. I won't tell you what I think unless you ask. If you have something you can't talk to me about, I will find someone for you. I won't judge you or share your secrets, unless there's a danger to you." This helps the kids know we're not the enemy, but a support system for all the difficulties they face. Another thing to do is to let them off the "blame hook" by telling them that we know they don't mean to make things difficult, but that's the result of their lack of cooperation. Tell him you can put your heads together to improve things, that the rules are for the betterment of the family as a whole and for the individuals, and that chores make us important, contributing members of a family.

Agree with MomofTwo. In addition, however, there are certain statutes regarding custody and native people bloodline "percentages" that give a tribal council jurisdiction over these matters. It's important to work (with reverence) with the tribal police and council to resolve. It is sad to say, but these things are extremely difficult to resolve.

Jessica78, your posting has taken an unfortunate turn. I hope you know that there is much consideration and support for you out there. Whether or not the children in your home do dishes is up to you. If you believe it's an important chore, then you have made your decision. We are charged, as parents and stepparents, to instill responsibility to and respect for others. While there is a heirarchy in the home (role models are, by default, the top rung of the family ladder), there are ways to bring the kids in to work together to create guidelines that work for everyone. If there's no negotiating on WHETHER or not a child does chore, there can be some discussion on HOW these chores are done. For example, saying, "The dishes are a shared responsibility. Let's figure out who does them when. IF they're done isn't up for discussion, but I'm open to being flexible on WHEN." Getting the kids in on fine tuning the rules, asking for input when you can, brings them closer to being more compliant (because they feel more respected). I repeat, however, you don't need to "compromise" what's important to you, but collaborating is essential.

We are not trying to enforce the visitation we have which is all of Xmas Break, all of Spring Break and half of summer vacation. We ARE however trying to enforce the part that says hubby can visit with him when they come back to this area.

I may be missing something here, but it seems to me that there was an agreement before mom moved away? The visitation agreement is similar to those when parents are living in different states. MomofTwo makes important and well-spoken points regarding modifications and jurisdiction.

After six months, and it is not an instance of parental abduction, the jurisdiction likely does switch to child's new home state. However child support issues do not follow the same rules of jurisdiction.

Luckily, there are many honorable and balanced organizations out there that provide parents living apart with great services and peace of mind. Am not familiar with the organization that Davy refers to, but let's keep fingers crossed they aren't posting here.

Have you attempted mediation through your local community mediation center (If you've got one)? You can call the local family court and ask if they make referrals to such a center.

Go to childsup.ca.gov website and there's a pdf child support handbook to download.
The handbook has answers to your questions. No automatic termination; your local CS office must make the determination. Notification must be sent to employer to end the garnishment. Good luck!

Jurisdiction doesn't "follow" folks who move away, necessarily. When seeking to modify an existing order in a different "home" state, it may be necessary to domesticate the order as a foreign judgment. This will provide the new state jurisdiction it needs to take on the case for modification. Jurisdiction can be a complicated scenario, so checking with the courts and/or an atty to clarify is very helpful.

I've done a good job of keeping things between us difficult, I lawyered up and had her served without discussing it with her.  I think that put her over the top.  Since, we have a court ordered parenting plan and then we had a settlement meeting where I lost one of the weekends out of the month.

It takes a lot of fortitude and strength to do what you are doing now, and admitting that you have done things in the past that have made things difficult at present is a good place to start. Sometimes people want things that are quite simple, but we don't know what those things are without asking. Continue on your good path to be involved with your children; things can always improve with taking the first step of admitting you wish you had handled things better. Letting mom know this may bring you surprisingly positive results, too. Ask what her concerns are, handle them one at a time, express what your needs and concerns are, work together, and the future will be brighter than the past. Much luck to you.