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Messages - grtdaddy

#11
Quote from: trizy on Aug 14, 2009, 09:58:30 AM
So my husband's ex got custody of the kids just to get the child support money.  Everyone knew she was going to do that.  Now she has dumped the kids off on my husbands parents, where they live, and only sees them when it is convenient to her.  She quit her job and is living off welfare and child support from the kids, but the kids do not live with her.  Exactly her plan all along.

We called a lawyer and all she said is that it happens all the time, that children can be used for income and then just have the kids live somewhere else.  That does not seem right.  Is there anything we can do about this?

Thanks!

how can she be getting welfare and child support? is the support paid through an agency? or is it directly handed to her? if you can prove she is getting it and she is not claiming it, she will be in serious trouble, which i would think could warrant a custody modification.
#12
California law.


3047. A party's absence, relocation, or failure to comply with
custody and visitation orders shall not, by itself, be sufficient to
justify a modification of a custody or visitation order if the reason
for the absence, relocation, or failure to comply is the party's
activation to military service and deployment out of state
#13
Father's Issues / Re: visits
Aug 21, 2009, 10:49:34 AM
that should be stated in your order, or if you have a temp order it will be addressed at your next court date.
#14
she is playing you friend. she isn't coming back. best thing you can do is what everyone has said, FILE NOW!
#15
you can request he takes drug tests, but if he passes you have to pay. and if you attack his character and cant prove it, you could end up paying his legal fee's. what you need to do is get a lawyer, because with out one he's going to smoke you in court, sorry it's just reality. start calling lawyers and see if any will take your case with a payment plan. dont stop calling!! good luck.
#16
Custody Issues / Re: Don't Know Where To Turn
Aug 14, 2009, 10:11:51 PM
19 months old and 11k in over due support???? something doesn't sound right here.
#17
Quote from: Vicky on Aug 13, 2009, 06:38:05 AM
My husband just went through mediation with his ex and their 7 y/o. Of course there is a laundry list full of examples of how crazy and messed up his ex is, but honestly that doesnt do anything. The mother has to literally be out on the streets, drugged up, or not getting the child to school before the courts will give custody to a father. It sucks, but that is the way it is. Because if my husband could get full custody of his daughter just by his ex being crazy and VERY unstable, he would have full custody now....

Like the other poster said, if your mediation was recent there isnt nothing you can do. You agreed, that is that. Judges dont like to see people who have "buyer's remorse" after the fact... that is what our lawyer told us.

Really the only thing you can do is see your child per your parenting plan and NEVER miss a day... and just to see what happens offer to your ex to pick up your child even if its not your day, the only thing she can say is no... but that shows effort and you want to see your child.

If she is refusing your days PER your parenting plan then she will be in contempt, file a motion and haul her ass to court! If she is in contempt then she should be ordered to pay the court costs.

Document EVERYTHING! Every visit, time, phone calls, money spent, pick ups, drop offs, EVERYTHING.

Also get yourself a copy of Divorce Poison by Richard A. Warshak.


Good luck!

i wouldn't take this advise to heart, it is completely untrue. If you wait a long time to get more of a shared parenting plan then it can become much harder to change anything. You can always demand another mediation, remember the longer you wait the harder it will be to change. How can one think it is in the childs best intrest to not have both parents in their life with significant time? If you are in California you really need to go back to mediation and or court. BTW I am a father with SOLE physical custody of a 7 year old and the mother is not drugged out or on the streets. I am just the better parent, but even then she gets visitation. I would keep talking to lawyers, because it sounds like you just got money hungry lawyers trying to force you to make a deal over one that is fighting for you on and your child. I would call your child everyday, and document everything like refusal of phone calls etc. parental alienation is a big deal and by law a court can not allow that to happen.
#18
sounds just like my ex, she bought a lawyer, car and thousands of dollars in cash but refuses to pay her court ordered CS. Because she really doesn't care about helping with our child. this whole process i been through has always been over money and striking against me, never was for our son. She is a deadbeat and sounds like yours is too.
#19
Custody Issues / Re: Baby Daddy Problems
Jul 22, 2009, 08:49:14 PM
wow, sorry but you sound like a nightmare ex, you say you dont want to deny your child but that child is not just yours. if you keep up your ex will have a case for primary custody. going through what i have went through i have learned there is a big responsibility being the custodial parent, and that includes allowing the child significant time with the non custodial parent. I can understand hate seeing that name come across your phone, you have to let it go, your going to be dealing with him for years and years, and if you try to run interference you can lose having your child live with you. Try to think outside the box, and put yourself into your childs shoes, you would want a daddy too in your life. good luck
#20
i will still be here, don't you worry about that. I got alot of information here and very thankful. This will be the final order if we both sign it at our next court date. But i dont see a judge changing this if she would to not agree, in fact i think she may not like the outcome. I didn't even draw my guns yet, and it's nice to not have to quite honestly. I never wish bad things to people but i would and will fight for my sons best intrest. Now i believe the "Status Quo" will make any changes to this order very difficult to change.