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meditation was today, mediator said joint legal custody, and sole physical custody to dad. with a step up visitation schedule, that in the end is rotating holidays and every other weekend order. and if she is serious about being involved i think this will be a fair order. she has to make 80% of all visits or she will get less time. The mediator already had her decision before we even got there to be honest, although BM declaration was full of lies and contradictions that if it was to go to trial would have been shredded apart. I didn't sign anything until after the lawyer looks the order over very well. but this is a good glimpse of what will be, and you all were right, noway she was getting Physical custody. i sure will sleep better now, and maybe i can have some money again.

Mom is delusional.  And if she has an atty., either she isn't paying attention to what they are telling her, she has failed to tell them her history, or they are delusional, too.  She doesn't have a snowball's chance in he!! of getting joint............she'd be damn lucky to get an extra day of supervised visitation.  JMO, of course.......

Remember this first and foremost:  courts like to 'keep the status quo'.......and with not only you having primary custody all this time, but also her documented 'history', they will NOT want to change this.  If anything, they wil want to move very slowly to increase BM's time and make her prove herself to the court.  That is certainly one thing I would demand in court...sanctions against her if she screws up.  Like if she fails to show for a certain number visitations, the time is decreased.  If she attempts to abuse the child, she be charged and ALL visitation suspended until she proves to the court (classes, whatever they demand she take) she won't do it again. 

The last resort would be termination of rights.  It's obvious by her demands that she is in total denial of what she's done, so you practically have to hang something like this over her head to make her realize this is being taken seriously and she cannot screw up again.

now mom has changed to trying for custody, she is shooting for the moon. no way this will happen!!!!everything i read on California law says the courts keep status quo, stability and continuity of environment, what was it? oh yes paramount. she's trying to play hard ball after being absent for two years. Only thing she wants to do is drain my wallat, this kind of situation should be required to be a speedy trial. But i wil take it to the end, this child is not going anywhere. oh yeah mediation is this week, i wont tip my hand but i think you are right. she has a snowballs chance in he!! in getting any kind of custody, what the real issue is a parenting plan that is in our childs best intrest. which i will fight for it to be very slow. heck she doesn't even have a job or her own home, where is she comming from???

i got the letter from the "visitation" provider  which out down twp incidents involving me.

#1 i allowed child to see mother without supervision. .....truth is son asked to say goodbye to mom one more time which the door is maybe 15 ft way wide open, he walked to the door and said "by mom"

#2 father undermined supervisor  by saying it was okay for son to say goodbye to mom again..... huh? this lady is gone not only has she been trying to give me legal advise, but took our son to a bowling alley full of people drinking, and bowled. i ask who was supervising while she was bowling? she will not be allowed another session and this time i will be picking who is doing the supervised visits. my lawyer tried calling her because he was upset about the things she says to me as far as legal advise goes, her response when i asked if she talked to him was, i dont talk to lawyers. thre is a big list of legal advise she has givin me, which is documented along with her letter, i also want to file a grivence against this person as stated by other supervisors she way over stepped her boundry. and i feel is gender biased and taking sides period.

Shanni thank you,

i appreciate your praise. all i am doing is what any parent should do and that is be one. she has missed 2 calls in one week, nearly missed last night by calling at 6 58 pm when her call time is 6-7 pm. if it was me i would be calling at 6:01 pm but hey that's just me. no matter what the mediator does if i don't get sole custody we are going to trial, and i will take it to the end i have found the strength in me to do this. do i worry? absolutley, i fear gender biased as one issue and perhaps my largest concern. but i also fear the court system will not do what is in our sons best interest. we will see. every lawyer i talk to says i should win sole custody absolutley but until the judge says it i'm a semi wreck, she wins on that aspect. her whole point was to turn my world upside down, make things hard for me at my job etc, but i won't give in i am this childs shield and will take every bullet for him,

Love Daddy

i have a appointment with my lawyer again tomorrow. i have a lost of questions this time and i plan to write his answers down. i also paid for just answer family law from real lawyers and according to my case, i should get sole custody quite easily. that made me feel better i will sleep tonight better at least. the mom made her phone call at 6:58 pm tonight nearly missing a 3rd ordered call in the past week. it's quite clear her intrest is not in our son. I think that hurts me more than the court proceedings. no matter what the mediator reccomends, if it isnt  sole custody i am fighting to the end for the judge to make the final order. at least one day on my death bed i can honesly tell my son i did and will always do anything for your well being long after i leave this world. i love him so much!!!!!

oh i hired one, right after i filed.

also anotherupdate. the mother has failed to call twice now in the last week on her scheduled call days. it's documented but i sure hope you can understand how serious she is in building a relationship with our child. gosh i am just stunned she is showing herself so fast. her big thing is trying to get ME, all of this has absolutley nothing to do with our precious little boy. he can count on daddy though, i will stand up and fight for his right of stability and continuity. TO THE END!!!

thank you Kitty, you have ALOT of knowledge. would you or anyone happen to have experienc in mediation in california? I know i will stay firm on what i believe is in our sons best intrest but i want to know what im facing. I am ready to fight to the end, and even the mothers foster parents are willing to testify and wrote declarations on her anger problems and refusing to ever deal with it.

also note i have his school teachers declaration and is willing to take the stand on his progress which was "significant academically and socially progress", and said i was at every school function and a great father. his report card is great, he is so stable i can't help but have fear for our son loosing his progress. This is why i appreciate all your support, believe it or not it helps me stay strong.

thank you Kitty,

my Lawyer says i have an excellent chance at sole physical custody or even sole custody for that matter. he said she has abandoned our son and over two years of no contact is the major ordeal. She has to prove herself stable, and mentally capable which is why he thinks this is an easy case. the mother seems to think getting old friends that do not know me or my son will help her case and will defend the eye witness testimony of neglect and abuse when she was in the picture. Do not forget i have digital telephone with the same number and she called two times in two years. i absolutely begged her to send him letters gifts, pictures just anything but she chose not too. and it the worst thing about this is after all this time she decides she is mom and trying to scare me into accepting joint custody and shared parenting.

I think i should fight to end for a long gradual step up program to graduate into a visitation schedule at the very best. any thoughts on this? please remember this woman was hospitalized for suicide before we were able to get away from the anguish and abuse. I feel so much for our son, i have not poisoned him and i fear she would do that very thing.