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as for phone records, i use highspeed internet provider which keep all call logs. i have had to sign a form and get it notorized and faxed to the legal team. these records will show she never contacted us via telephone but maybe 3 times in 2 years. she is threating she has 9 months of MSN logs of me being mean to her, saying i will call her and not calling. but in reality the only thing i said was it's your responsibility to call to talk to our child not mine. she had my password and i feel like she may have done something strange as far as the MSN logs go. i do not see how that can prove that it was me chatting and not say her roomate or online boyfriend? my lawyer told me not to worry about it she is a unfit mother due to the testimony and 14 declarations on eye witness abuse to our child. not to mention womens refuge report of it. thats right a man went there for help because i was scared for our saftey and needed help. she went to the mental hospital for suicide and threats of killing the family then herself. and i even have a myspace printout of her saying how she wants to go to sleep and never wake up. how her medications do not help her depression and so she quit taking them alltogether. i know i am worryingwhere i shouldn't but this is my son that i hold very dear to me and will do anything to protect him. i thank each and everyone of you for your insight, and believe it or not you have been a great support for my son and myself going through these times. godbles each and every one of you.

she has had my password for my old account, how can she actually prove me saying anything because i didn't all i have ever said was it's your responsibilityto call our child not mine to call you. this is after TWO years of no contact with her at all. now i have changed all my passwords i had no idea about any of this. but the fact of 15 declarations of her abuse and neglect to our son. and i also have ordered 1.5 years on phone records because i used charter digital which will show 2 maybe 3 calls from her in total. she is lying in every way possible my lawyer told me not to worry about it. any thoughts?
 

this one is easy. hire a lawyer or your going to get the shaft.

even though they can be changed, or for that matter someone else completely on the other side chatting?

talked with my lawyer today, he informs me the mother that has been gone for the last two years has basically abandoned our child, and will have to explain herself in court. and i asked him my chances of keeping full custody and he told me the chance is very high. that made me feel better. my son and i are both seeing a councilor to keep our metal health throughout this. this is costing me, but is well worth it. and with the evidence i have should be a cut and dry case. i pray for this to be true for our baby boy, it's him i am worried about and there is nothing i will not do for his well being and safety in growing into a strong man in society and future father/husband himself. 

you know i was doing some reading, and seems alot of people are claiming the court system always sides with the mother giving custody to them. would any of you in your experience see something like happening in my case? i asked my lawyer and he told me i wouldn't lose sleep over it. but that is kind of vague. and i also read where judges give custody to the abusive parent simply ignoring the best interest in the child. I am the only stability our son knows and i have proved this with 15 declarations from school teachers to property managment companys to emplyment personell. I know i am a worries and scared father, but it's not for my ego, but for our sons well being i simply can not allow a judge to rule such a carless judgment if this goes all the way through. any experience here? california law by the law.

I see what you're saying on the Dr information, but the report cards are sent home, so it requires no effort on the CP's part to share this.  I'm not saying that one side should be at the others beck and call, but if you already have it then I think you should share it and not make them go and get their own copy just because you can.

I am talking about information you already have in your posession, not something you would have to go and get.

what is wrong with expect the NC parent to simply inquire about it. it should be something an parent that gives a crap about has intrest in. not just oh btw here is our childs report card. thats is one sides parenting. if it was the NCP you better believe i would hav a caopy of it or at least ask "when are they comming out, so i can get a copy"

and thats exactly one of my ex's defenses. she is arguing WE never called her for phone contact visits. I have told her too many times to count that her is her responsibility and she does not agree. in fact she is using that as her only defense in court. I also begged her to send our son things like, letters, pictures, clothes and any kind of gift she felt she wanted to send. She never sent anything, ever. called about 3 times in 2 years.

im going to guess and say because thats the responsibility of the other parent being a parent. you can't simply expect everything to be givin to you, you do have to be a involved parent at some point. and honestly how long do you think that could last before you just get fed up with it?

We were not given handbook on how to be parents, or what the expectations where for the job.  It could very well be that your son's mother had a difficult upbringing and few appropriate role models to fashion herself after.  Parenting classes would help her in that, as would a parent aid. 

As previous posters have suggested supervised visitation is a great idea, if you could also get parenting classes and other supports that she might need, your son would benefit form having two parents that are involved in his life.

i agree with you 100% our son deserves to have a mom and dad. but the problem is when she was hospitalized for her suicide problems, she was diagnosed bi-polar. she refused this as her problem and would not take any medication that was prescribed to her. she has been on anti depressants since the day i met her, but the problem is she doesn't always take them and to be flat honest they don't work for her. until she takes some accountability for her problems nobody in this world can help her because she refuses it. meanwhile here I am after two years of her never seeing our son attempting to protect his well being if that makes sense. I am going to go for the supervised visitations for quite awile, as i agree with the posters here, but i am also going to attempt to keep sole physical custody at this point and work a visitation schedule for her supervised for a length of time and see if she can do what she needs to do, to become a mother to our child.