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You have had custody of your son for two years, mom has been out of teh picture, and unless there is something you are not telling us about yourself, (dwi's, criminal charges, etc.) there hasn't been a change in circumstances that would indicate that it would be in your son's best interest to have teh custoy as it now stands to change.

My first perference is joint legal custody with a 50/50 spilt, however, your case is different, no contact, distance, and instabilty.  All of those things will come out.  I do advise you against saying anything negative to your son about his mother, all children have the right to believe that they are loved and supported by both of their parents, and no child has ever thanked their parent for trashing the other.  Always take the higher road, and you will be able to live with both yourself and your son without unneccesary bitternes.

The biggest concern is always what is best for the child, and that is the job of the courts, if the parents cannot agree, you mostly likely will prevail, and won't require additional "dirt" on the mother.

Important things to remember and feel good about is that your son is happy and loved not only by you but also your extended family and friends.  He has a sense of community and that is important to health and well being.

If mom wants to be involved that is great, and also good for your son, this should not be veiwed as a win lose situation, just what is good for the boy.  If mom is not stable, i.e no place to live, no job, and unbalanced it will all be scene for what it is, not in his best interest.

Any court activity is stressful, and can consume you, If both attorneys have told you that this is a slam dunk, relax, until you have cause to be concerned, otherwise it is a waste of effort and energy that would be better spent enjoying your son. ( It is hard to play a board game if your obsessed with what might happen.)

Kids are smart, and hear alot more than they should so be extra careful not to discuss the pending case around your son, or even where he might hear it.

Good Luck, and chin up. Have Faith!

Do you live in the children's school district?  How old are the children?  Any mention of relocation range in their paperwork?  How many miles away is it?

A number of factors figure into how to approach this, distance, reason for the move, kids ages and current activities they are involved in, just cto consider a few.  How soon do they plan on moving?

It is really difficult for all parties involved when there is a custody dispute going on, I can so relate to your being both tired and confused, hang in there as this too shall pass.

As far as your son not wanting to check in and have a bed time, I agree, that is the norm not the exception, however, as I always told my kids you get what you need, not what you want.  All children need limits and it is up to the parents to establish them. ( Sets the kids up for life after mom and dad, and on to work and the like).

Anyway his wanting to live with mom is not usually enough, and if there have been no other chances in circumstances, the chances are good that there would be no change in custody.

Changing schools is a major hinderance to most kids, and not to be done lightly, and it sounds as if he has already changed schools once.  He is currently in middle school and should be bonding with his peers and finding his own niche, a change now could spell trouble down the road, not to mention the stress of trying to fit in and find your own place with a new group of kids as well as school staff.

If mom does not currently excercise her visitation rights as they currently stand, I can't imagine anyone thinking that your son's best interest would be served in a custody change.

My advise would be chin up and hang in there, and encourage your son to love and be involed with his mother.

Good luck with your attorney today.

Child support obligations are based on pro-rata shares of imputed income, if you think he makes more than he did when the original order was established, petition for a downward modification, asap.  In New York there is a cap in parental income at 80k, what the deal is in your state might be different, however all of that information should and most likely is available on-line if you look.

Unless it is in writing it is not binding in most cases, you might be able to argue that he did not request that you pay more, ( and you paid the amount you paid and he never filed for a violation) and if he never put it in writing and registered mail you might win, that again will cost you a lot of money.

Your daugther is almost at the age where the courts will let her decide anyway, do you really want to add to your legal fees and all of the stress and strife that goes with it to continue argueing?

Choice is always with  the parents, however, I wonder what our kids would say if we asked them?

Again, good luck!

I am confused did you receive a court date?  If so what relief are you requesting?  When is the daughter due back home?

I am not certain that I agree with flash cards, and not certain I understand the therapists approarch, therapist's are usually mandated reporters. If there was cause for concern physical or emotional it should be reported to the appropriate state officials.

I do however, agree a united front is the best approach with children, the less bickering and fighting the better the outcome for all parties involved.

Check out the your states unified court web site, I cannot post the link as I am a new member, however, just checked and there are resources available to you so that you could proceed on your own.  In New York State we have Law libraries that are staffed with extremely compentent and knowledgeable staff that help residents find both codified and case law. 

["Temporary emergency jurisdiction.]

If your filing was granted and it is  now effective Local law enforcement should able to assist you in ensuring that the order is executed.  Your attorney should already know that the petition, or motion was granted. 

Was your daughters motehr present at court?  Is there another court date? Also have you contacted your local Department of Human Services?   Logon on to the state bar web site for additional information


"Temporary emergency jurisdiction. If a child is present in the state and has been abandoned or is in need of protection because that child or a sibling or parent of the child is subjected to or threatened with mistreatment or abuse, a court may make an emergency custody determination. If there is a prior child custody determination entitled to be enforced under the Act or a child custody proceeding has been commenced in a court having initial, continuing or modification jurisdiction under the Act, the order issued under emergency jurisdiction must specify a period to allow obtaining an order from the other state. If a court is asked to make an emergency order that finds that a proceeding has been commenced in or a child custody determination made in a state which has jurisdiction under the act, it must communicate immediately with that other court. (ACA § 9-19-204)"

Sorry I am new here so I had to go back and read all of your posts....

Having done so I would ask the following:


Have you consulted with an attorney?


If not prior to doing, so gather the following

all support and custody orders orders

all cancelled checks

all paperwork related to the garnishment, and request documentation from your employer as to when it stopped, also from the Child support collection unit if your state has one that the payments were going through.

Next, have either you or dad had any change in income?

Have you ever requested a downward modification to the support amount?

I am however concerned that you and your ex have been involved in litigation over the last 7 years.

Right now you are looking at about $4,500. in fees, plus the cost of an appeal..  Plus and more significantly is what this continue litigation is costing your daughter, I would reccomend that if you haven't consulted an attorney yet, consider doing so, however,  when you do ask first what your chances are for a downward modifacation, and whether or not when the motion was thrown out and your garnishement stopped, if it actually did revert back to the prior order?  Then ask if there is anyway to get the contemt removed and if you can only be held accountable to the arrears that have accumuated. 

In the mean time I would pay the full amount of the prior order to futher boost your claim that this was not a willful violation, if was a violation at all.

Lastly, when you speak with the attorney, I would be certain to ask whether or not they believe that they can win this mess.

Good luck!

Worried, in response yes, some Mother's do see it as being better for their children to be with dad, in my case it was better for me to go and get a college education so that I could continue to support our children.  It was not a popular decision over 15 years ago, however my children benefited from the split, we all love each other and know that although their father and I no longer live together, (each of  us remarried) we still respect the others place and importance in our children's lives.

I do not know about perfect but our arrangement was pretty darn close to it. I had the kids two nights a week and every other weekend, school vacations (unless they were going on a family trip with dad), and every other week during the summer.   Their father and I agreed to maintain a residence in their home school district until the youngest graduated from high school and he could keep the family home without paying me my interest in the home until then, or if he sold it first.

We split the costs of extras: sport and band related costs,  as well as expenses for special camps and recogniction trips.  We even split the foriegn exchange students that we hosted over the years with the exchange students following our children.   We co- host bithday's and graduations, and each of us payed for the kids when they were with us.  No money changed hands.  It was great and we were still able to co-parent our children, without the interference of courts and Law guardians.  We even shared our daughters dog!

When we split up our marriage counselor was afraid my ex would kill me, after he found out that I did not want to castrate him financially, he was my friend and supporter.  It was the money that  was going to makes things ugly. We took the money out of the equation and hence the overriding stress and strife.

What state are you in?