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We would love to do a test ourselves, but dont want anyone to know we were doing it. There is no way we could do a swab or whatever was needed without 11yo figuring out what was going on. That is why DH wants to just wait to see if it is ordered by the court. He doesnt want to seem like it matters to him (though of course he wants to know).

I guess he could refuse to do the test if she just asks (without court order), but she could always get the other guy to do the test to prove in reverse.

God, when did my life become a Jerry Springer show?

I dont know if that would be the best thing. I wouldnt want SD to hate DH for not allowing her to know the truth. I know that would be the spin that BM would put on it.

Who knows....

DH is sure of both of their blood types (O-)

DH has decided not to try & find anything out, just wait to see if she gets a paternity test ordered.

Still upsetting that BM is having SD talk to this guy on the phone.... "Here's your new daddy honey!"

Blood type - Not that I can find anywhere. It is not in the birth certificate & we have never had a reason to have it tested.

Wow, I thought we had it weird when BM washes their hair in the shower for them (11 & 14 like you). I would be totally flipped out if she was in the shower naked with them.

I have had to do lice treatments with our girls, so I have been in the bathroom with them while there were naked, but never when I was... that is too weird.

No, there hasnt been a test yet. We thought about doing just a home blood test because DH & BM are both O, so if SD was anything else it would be apparent.

She has been in counseling in the past & I brought it up to DH that she should probably start going back. She seems to be unaffected by this news so far, but she is told not to tell us anything, so it just may be second nature.

YSD is 11, OSD is 14.

They live with us during school & her for holidays & summer. It has been this way for 6 years.

DH had mediation today. BM stated that YSD is not his & wants paternity test. Apparently YSD has been talking on the phone with her "Real" dad on BM's weekends.

DH is so distraught. His heart is breaking. It angers me so much that she is putting YSD through this even before it is offical. Poor girl is going to be so messed up no matter what the outcome.

This is so sad! Thank you for sharing.

Round and round we go.