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The whole TRO was denied? She cant ask for the whole family to be under HER TRO....LOL...

YUP!!!!!!! she did try...but how the hell can she file for TRO against me to protect my kids when the kids are living with me...all she wants is to throw false accusations against me so she'll look good in court..like what i said on my previous postings my record is clean..im talking about clean..only speeding tickets..THATS IT!! unlike her she has a record under the influence, possession, and parapernalia of METHAMPETHAMINE...i dont know what she thinking..hopefully that's a point againsta her for filing a bogus domestic violence against me..

I just read the documents she filed for TRO and DV, shes claiming that Im harrassing her, hurt her physically when we're together 4 yrs ago...I never hurt her physically and harrass her..and no police report..is this gonna have an affect on my custody case? and when she filed it she wants to be protected, her BF, her infant, her BF ex wife and her BF kid and the most craziest thing i saw is tho have our kid protected against me which thet live with me for the last 4yrs...on our last OSC the judge ordered to go for another mediation and it says in there to have the kids available at all time for the evaluator to talk to them...im assuming that they'regoing to talk to the kids..when i went to the mediation orientation they said that my kids are old enough to speak or voice out their custodial preferences..if that's the case, my kids saw what happened to us when she took off 4 yrs ago, i provided for them in all aspects without her help...

Very often, status-quo is given a great deal of consideration when it comes to matters such as these and having a 4-year parenting plan in place is a huge advantage for you.

However, with the family court system heavily tilted in favor of mothers, be prepared very well in advance, because "mom" very often trumps everything else in family court.  Don't go in as a father as though your continued arrangement is a foregone conclusion.

i just hope the mediator and the judge look at my case right..and i think the mediator or the judge will going to talk to the kids they're 13 and 11..once they talked to the kids thats it!!! all they need to do is tell the truth that i took care of them for 4 yrs, she never ever go to the kids school for conference and PTA meetings, I always do even on the kids other extra curricular activities like sports..im just hoping to get the best result from this which is "SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY" and visitation on her part without overnights, coz she doesnt have a permanent place to stay she's sharing a studio apartment with her BF, her new born child and another person, I dont even know the background of all those people I dont want my teenage daughter and my son to be sleeping everywhere...thank you..keep the suggestions and comments coming

hate to say this, but the BEST thing is to get to know your state's code.

when she failed to get that domestic violence/TRO by the judge, that can/may actually be used against her down the road.

in WV the code addresses false reports....

all im hoping is what she filed and got denied will haunt her down in our custody battle... all i want now is to get this thing done and get a sole physical custody of my kids and i dont want her to disrupt what the kids got used to in the last four years theyre staying with me, since she left them to me 4 yrs ago and i solely raised them...

Nothing, except to cut her off at the pass everytime she files.  Which is why you still have to be diligent in knowing what's going on in court.  I'm sure you've heard the saying 'Give 'em enough rope to hang themselves'?  Well, that's exactly what she's doing and the more she does it, the tighter the noose gets.......

I hear yeah....like what i said its been 5 months after the first order she only saw the kids twice for 5 hours per visit...she doesnt even care about them all she cares about is the temporary support that she getting..hopefully the mediator and the judge will see this point..FYI: both kids has cellphone and she can call them anytime...yup she does call them to make plans with them on sundays but sunday comes NO CALL, NO SHOW..its just pissing me off that the kids are waiting for her and cant make any other plans and she always breaking our kids heart for 4 years...now both the kids doesnt even wanna see her, be with her...hopefully my next mediation has a better outcome and my trial too...

Pray you go before this judge for any future court appearances!  I'm sure he'll remember it and it will look bad on her.

Good job of staying on top of things and finding out about the TRO.  Would have loved to see her face when she saw you walk in, since she expected to get one over on you and you caught her red-handed!

we had the same judge from the very beginning..so hopefully the judge will remember this situation...she even wrote down on her declaration that I beat her up, slaps her around and force her to have sex with me 5 years ago...my question is, if that was the case why didnt you file for domestic violence and restraining order 5 years ago...i didnt even did those false accusations everytime we're fighting i just walk away...what can i do with all this false accusations for the mean time till our court date on dec 11th and custody mediation on nov 20th?

another motion she filed last friday 10-16-09 for ex-parte domestic violence and TRO that I wasnt served or notified good thing i checked the court website saturday..so i went to court this morning for the hearing and she was surprised..the judge dropped the motion and the charge coz the're was no basis to it and its not an emergency..no police report, no medical treatment report etc etc..my record is so clean from any of this except for speeding tickets...i never got closed to her at all except for court hearing and mediation and thats it...she just filed a bogus report basically and trying to gain points on our custody battle coming soon..are those bogus claim gonna look bad on me or her on our custody case?? Im just tired of her trying to do everything that doesnt even make any sense...pls help!!!

with my case...what's my chance of having sole physical custody with visitation on her side? coz i dont want to disrupt my kids way of life, like school, residence and friends coz they stayed with me for the last four yrs already after she took off on us...and how am i gonna present my case to the mediator and in front of the judge..we are both on PRO-PER..thanks in advance im trying to gather all my ammunition for our mediation and trial...

did I read that right -- court order dated 5/9/09?  like recently?

yup!!! u read it right!!! that was when the temporary order kicked through her OSC, but she only saw the kids twice for like 5 hours each time..and then she will call the kids in the middle of the week and make plans with them on sundays and then sunday comes NO CALL, NO SHOW..me and the kids are so tires of her being FLAKE, the kids cant even make plans beacuse of her on sundays..and then on the last mandatory settlement conference a month ago the mediator wrote on her report FATHER WILL HAVE SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY..but she refused to take that so we didnt agree to it, so the judge ordered another mediation on nov 20th since she didnt agree now our case is going for short cause trial on dec 11th..and the judge ordered to have his first order to continue, to pay her $850 a month in child support even she doesnt see or care about the children..i dont even know why do i have to pay her support i took care of the kids for 4 yrs...and she's a DRUGGIE and a LOSER and UNEMPLOYED...all she wants is the money so she can party harder and buy more dope..thats the ways i look at it..

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If you can document exactly or close to how much time she has actually spent with the kids since the original order started, you might want to consider requesting a review of the support.  Of course, this will probably piss her off royally, because I bet you are her only income.  But if your state bases support on income and time spent, you should consider this.  You may still have to pay her something (call it hidden alimony), but given the amount of time you have the kids, you have every right to ask for a reduction.

Because of her previous drug conviction, you have every right to demand that she submit to random drug testing and if she fails, she cannot exercise her visitation until she tests clean.  I would also include (if possible) that if she tests positive over a certain number of times, then she loses all visitation until she tests clean for say 6 months.  Or something comparable.  Just make sure that there are safeguards in place for the kids (because of her drug use) and repercussions against her if she screws up.

If you've had the kids for 4 years, I agree with Giggles.  Judges like to maintain 'status quo' and if your kids have done well with you (and he sees her history), he will not want to interupt that.  One other thing you might want to have for documentation is reports from school showing how good they are doing and how stable they are. 

But I wouldn't go into this refusing her everything.  You have to be the bigger person and throw her some kind of bone.  But I would also demand a stepped up visitation schedule, starting out small and if the kids can handle it, then gradually increasing the time.  Start small and also include consequences if she fails to come through for the kids, like with the drug issue I mentioned above.  Like basing the stepped up schedule based on how many times she sees the kids, NOT in months or weeks.  That way, if she fails to show up for visitation, it will be just that much longer before it is increased, instead of not showing up numerous times and then having it increase, even though the kids haven't seen her much.  Get what I mean?

im willing to give her visitation on sundays BUT no overnights, coz she lives on a studio apartment with her boyfriend and their infant son and my daughter is already 13 and my son is 11 and i dont even know whats the background of her boyfriend..secondly the last time she saw the kids, the kids told me that she's so skinny and told them that she has a CANCER, i dont even buy it..she maybe sick or she's back doing METH..i can prove it to court and mediator that both kids are on TOP of their class, thay are already settled with me raising them, the school, house, neighborhood, freinds etc...basically i raised them for 4 straight years by myself acting as a FATHER and  MOTHER at the same time..on the last hearing the judge said to make the KIDS available at all times for the mediator..is that mean that the mediator will talk to them? i dont have a problem with that..the kids are the only one who can tell the truth...and they can voice out their preferences and opinions on the situation..