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The BM did not show for her drug test...shocking!!! CPS still says they can't tell me anything and he has to speak with his supervisor for his next step. The kids are telling stuff but now we CPS is acting like the boyfriend is just kidding and they can't really substantiate abuse. I'm so sick of all this nonsense!!! I spoke with a lawyer who said its a gamble and if CPS won't make a move then its still hear say. He hopes to get the judge to talk to the child but it's still a gamble on what the child will say. I couldn't retain him yet because I have to scrape the money together (for the third time in 5 years to take her back to court). The only good thing as the lawyer said is that I have nothing to lose. He said worst case scenario is I walk out with same orders I walked in with but he thinks there will definately be changes. Just unsure of supervised visits being back in place...EVER. I know men that have done nothing to their children and don't get extended visitation but this woman has a history of neglect and meth use and still gets visitation.... rediculous!!!

My daughter is actually going to a neighbors and sneaking calls to me. CPS will not say if they are going back and I am assuming the appointment the Mom and BF have with them tomorrow is drug testing. Knowing her history she will not show for the drug test and they won't do anything about it. I assume the case is not closed or CPS would just say it is closed. I am so sick of dragging that woman to court and she seems to come out with more in the end. I don't want to pay a lawyer if CPS is going to take action until I need to pay a lawyer because it seems all lawyers feel if CPS doesn't care then a judge won't modify visitation and cut the mother out. I didn't even get to the fact that the woman hasn't paid support on either child in over 6 months and didn't show for the mediation with Attorney General office. AG is supposed to be setting a court date for that but they don't get in any hurry. She hasn't paid a dime of medical bills or carried the insurance.... The system seems to work for the Mom. It was so hard to get her on supervised visits before that I don't expect to get them now that my daughter is 11. I was hoping to wait until she turned 12 and maybe she could talk to a judge herself but she is a kid and the Mom makes her feel guilty for not wanting to be there. She comes back July 31 and yes there are always storied of neglect/abuse when she comes back.

I am the custodial father of 1 daughter age 11 in Texas. I got custody in 2005 and the BM has been off and on drugs since then. She managed to get complete unsupervised visitation back 1 1/2 years ago..... biggest mistake of my life!!! Now she is back on her meth and has moved in a 23 year old boyfriend recently out of prison (she is 33). My daughter and her half brother have started making complaints of abuse/neglect and I as well as the BF of half brother and some neighbors have made reports. CPS assigned the case to a special investigator (former police officer) and he was gung ho to ge tthese kids out of there. Today he finally tracked her and kids down and spent over 3 hours interviewing them. I call to find out what is going on and now everything is confidential and he can't tell me anything. I spent three years and thousands of dollars to get her out of that mess and now she is right back where she started. I have been to court 3 times since getting custody and honestly I am broke and frustrated. Even CPS investigator said if I had this history with my daughter my rights would have been terminated. The BM has lived in a house her father owns since she decided to "get clean" after losing her kids but now he is kicking her out. Knowing the family cycles this means he knows she is back on drugs and doesn't like the boyfriend so he gave her the boot. She has no car yet has visitation from school out and on Thursdays during school year. She has had her utilities shut off about 4 times in last six months and picked her kids up for Christmas break knowing her water and electric were shut off. My daughter cries because she doesnt want to go. The BM refuses to allow my daughter to take her phone or have any contact with me while she is there (she is currently there for 30 days). my questions are:
1. When CPS refuses to say anything does that mean they are substantiating some allegations?
2. When do I know to hire a lawyer (I dont want to jump the gun)? I dont want her to get clean while the case is waiting to go to court and I lose money and she loses nothing.
3. Anyone know a dream team of lawyers in my area to demolish this woman and end this nightmare for my daughter?

I live in Texas. I am venting but this is exactly why I don't want her to ever get custody. She had her kids this weekend and they say the house is full of beer bottles, filthy, and boyfriend is staying drunk all day and gets mean to the oldest kid (who probably needs a lot of discipline). The mom has the kids lying about everything (such as the boyfriend living there) and the kids just act like this is normal and for some reason seem to be bonding with mom more than they ever have. I am sick of CPS and modifications. After 5 years of this I feel like I should let it go on and eventually she will end up with legal issues or the kids will decide they don't want to be around it. It seems like all CPS has done is catch her and then work in her favor. I am so sick of this woman and the kid battle. I am sure there are so many people on this forum that go through this. What do you do?

I would definately try to get the money back but dont count on it. I would treat it as if the money is gone forever and if you do get some back then thats great.

We do not live in the same school district but her father just moved into my daughters district so I am sure they will use that as her address. It's hard to explain but her family are your typical enablers and they are willing to pay for everything and make her look good on paper. We do already have an order about talking to the child about these issues but really it's pointless. Since I got custody five years ago we have been in court every year. They slap her hand with little contempts but she seems to walk out in a better position (paying less support, less restrictions, more visitation, etc). We went to mediation in May and I agreed to give her Thursdays overnight but her lawyer hasn't drawn up the orders yet so I havent allowed her to have her yet. It is hard for me to offer her more time when I don't trust her and don't feel my daughter is safe. At this moment her newest live in boyfriend (7th live in since I got custody 5 years ago) is on parole and drinks from the time he gets up til he goes to bed. She allows him to drive the children around (no license and drunk). I have spent enough time in the courts to know that I cant prove it so nothing will be done and part of me feels like I should quit interfering and let things run their course. My lawyer said not to worry about a custody battle because she won't get custody but to make sure I have the money ready. One thing that I find strange is she has 3 kids with 3 men and they were all taken. She has never fought for the youngest. She has never asked for an extra minute with him and signed over custody at a park with no lawyers involved but made my daughter stay in horrible conditions and I had to fight her all the way to the courthouse. She says it's because that dad doesn't fight her but I am not comfortable with her motives (the type of people she associates with and wanting the daughter). I dont ask my daughter where she wants to live because I think that's rediculous and it isn't up to her. My daughter just recently said she might want to spend more time over there but admits there are no rules, no bedtime, no toothbrush, no soap, and rarely any food. She gets every visit because the dad picks up and delivers not because she does anything.

I am a CF and my ex has told my 9 year old BD that when she turns 12 she can tell a judge she wants to live with her mom. My ex has made it clear there will be a custody battle when my daughter turns 12 and her family is willing to pay for it. I got custody 5 years ago because the BM was on drugs and there was abuse and neglect substantiated. The BM is not any better now but has learned how to hide it and her family ensures she looks good on paper (keeps her utilities paid, rent paid, car, etc). The odds of me having anything to use against the mother when my daughter turns 12 is slim. I am very worried about her getting custody back because it would be a disaster for my daughter.

1. Will a judge automatically give her custody if my daughter says she wants to live with her?
2. What can I do to be prepared for the custody battle when my daughter turns 12?

 You both had a duty to support the children when they were in DCFS care. If they took your tax return to pay money back for that time frame then you will never see the money again. The only thing to do now is make sure everything is correct with the state so it doesn't happen again.

I have custody of my daughter after 3 long miserable years. I can tell you that the stuff you think will be used against you....won't. The only thing the court is interested in is the children. How the children came to be or any choices you made prior to the birth of the children is of no importance. My ex did horrible and unexplainable things to her children (all of them had different dads) and in the end she got supervised visits for a few months then standard visitation. You have done nothing to your children so you just need to file with the courts and get the ball rolling. Given the history I would make sure to get geographical restrictions.