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Topics - Detter D

#1
Massachusetts State Forum / legal question
May 27, 2006, 06:02:44 AM
In
#2
Does anyone know if there are any rules regarding what your ex
spends her child support money on?
#3
Dear Socrateaser / a legal question
May 27, 2006, 05:53:12 AM
re
#4
Dear Socrateaser / Can she do this???
May 25, 2005, 05:02:54 AM
 
Long time Soc, but once again need your help.
Divorced 2/03  shared custody.
Live in MA

I have an outstanding lawyers bill and am wondering if it is
legal or ethical for a lawyer to charge interest on my account.
She was with a firm that I used, now she is no longer with them,
and took my outstanding account with her...she was my lawyer
in my proceedings??????

My new wife has an outstanding lawyer's bill, and they don't
charge her interest...

#5
DEAR SOC

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR ADVISE ON THE RO, AND WE DID JUST
THAT....(LIE DETECTOR)

JUST THE THOUGHT OF HER "MIGHT" HAVING TO TAKE ONE IF MINE
WAS NEGATIVE...SHE BACKED AWAY AND SAID SHE DOESN'T SEE
ME AS A THREAT...

THE JUDGE PRESSED HER ON THIS..(LIE DETECTOR) AND ASKED IF
SHE WOULD BE WILLING TO TAKE ONE AND IF SHE THOUGHT I WAS
ANY THREAT TO HER AT ALL, AND SHE FINALLY ADMITTED THAT I WASN'T, AND THE ORDER WAS LIFTED.

THIS IS THE FIRST ONE WENT IT MY FAVOR AFTER 2 1/2 YEARS.

ANOTHER COMING UP IN DECEMBER...CHILD SUPPORT RECONFIGURATION BECAUSE OF MY NEW JOB.

I HAVE ONE QUESTION ABOUT THIS, BUT WILL WAIT UNTIL YOU
GET BACK.

MY THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR ADVISE...HAVE A GREAT VACATION.
#6
Dear Socrateaser / Lied to get RO
Oct 26, 2004, 06:30:58 AM
History:  divorced 1/04
Custody: shared eow and Tuesday night
Ex filed 209a 3 months ago...LIED in court and said I was in
her house at 1:00 in am...ABSOLUTELY A LIE..never ...never...
She was upset with me for filing for her to pay 1/2 of the taxes on
my 401K which was in the settlement agreement..She received
half of my 401K, and I am asking her to pay 1/2 of the taxes on
it because she received the 1/2 the money, and I feel she should
pay 1/2 the taxes....ANYWAY...this item will be addressed in Dec.
court date.

I have not violated in ANY way this unlawful RO (because it was
granted without any proof whatsoever,,,,just her word...LIE..LIE..LIE

I have just been employed with a new job and this 209a that was
filed in Probate Court in MA is harming my ability to be cleared in
some projects because of security rules...also is harming
me to coach my son in sports (which I have done for years).

Now the court hearing (a return hearing for this 209a) is to be this mo.
A very good suggestion by you a few months ago when I explained this
was to offer a "no contact" order, but was unable to do this because of the court it was filed in...this was filed in Probate and they do not have
"no contact" orders.

1. Without having to go through the appeals process, which I cannot afford, is there some other way of getting rid of the this "LIED to GET"
RO??
#7
Dear Socrateaser / getting rid of that RO
Oct 21, 2004, 06:06:21 AM
History:  divorced 1/04
              custody:eow and Tues, nights
              Ex filed 209a 3 months ago..LIED in court because
              she was upset about me filing for her to pay 1/2 of the taxes on my 401K. (which will be addressed in Dec court date)
           
         
    I have not violated the restraining order in any way.

I have just been employed with a new job and this 209a that was
filed in Probate Court in MA is harming my ability to be cleared in
some projects because of security rules.....also it is harming me
in coaching my son in sports (which I have done for years).

Now the court hearing (a return in 3 mo.) is to be this mo.  o contact' thing because of the court it was filed in.
(good suggestion by you a few months ago)...

1. Without having to to go through the appeals process (which I cannot afford) is their some other way of getting rid of this thing?




















#8
Dear Socrateaser / she's done it again
Sep 29, 2004, 04:12:10 PM
History..divorce Jan 03
Unemployed from April  04 - September 04 with severance
Arrears from July 04

We sold the marital home and closing is tomorrow and today  she walked into a courtroom and put a "something" on the proceeds of the house into
escrow...somebody is couching her...never heard of such a thing.

This would really mess me up, because I need that money to rent a
new place...and because of my credit had to pre-pay ahead

1.  What is this called

2.  Can she actually put a hold on all the money?  (judge said she could)?

3. How do we counter this...?

4.  How long does this hold last...could we get it off the same day?

I have no problem with putting what is owed in arrears in escrow, but
for the judge to say that it is ok to put all proceeds in escrow is
really a 'biased judge'.
#9
Dear Socrateaser / Update on RO
Aug 29, 2004, 08:47:37 AM
Thanks for advise...on RO

What actually happened was she told a BIG lie at the hearing,
and my lawyer said it was a big lie, but in the end she (the judge)
kept the RO on me for 3 more months, and then revisit.

She claimed I was in her house at 1:00 in the morning and she
saw me there...the judge asked...weren't your doors locked, she
said yes, but I didn't push it tight...

With that "new" lie she was able to keep this thing going for another
3 months,,,and my only hope is that this does not prevent me from
getting a new job that has very good prospectives...

1.  Do employers usually check to see if there is a RO on you?

2.  Is this considered a criminal offense?
#10
Dear Socrateaser / restraining order
Aug 19, 2004, 03:32:34 PM
history...divorced 1/04

have children eow and Tuesdays

My ex has just served me with a restraining order saying
I want to 'kill' her...(absolutely rediculous).

This is a 'payback" for me taking her to court to get
reimbursement for her half of things that will be left
at the home when the home is sold...(replaced pool filter
and had to put in a new dishwasher)which stays in the home... had to take her
to court for her to sign the purchase agreement.

Well, trying to brief, so in the meantime of getting the purchase
offer signed, tring to get reimbursement, the people who made
the offer had the home inspected, and now because of repairs
to it are offering less, and my ex says she will not sign again...
and now she put a restraining order on me because she said I
made threatening accusations to her on the phone...ABSOLUTELY
NOT TRUE.

I pay the mortgage and she is very vindictive (wants me to
suffer financially with the mortgage, so we will be on the
same field...both in apartments...AND SHE WAS THE ONE LEFT
AND LEFT THE KIDS WITH ME...somethng is wrong here....

If this doesn't end soon...I'm going to lose the house

I live in the marital home...

Questions:
1. How can I fight this restraining order?

2.  How can I drop off the children without going 100ft from
her house?
#11
Dear Socrateaser / Am I able to do this
Aug 18, 2004, 05:24:07 AM
History:---divorced 1/04--MA State
Pay child support , health insurance and have eow and Tuesday nights.

I am getting a new job that will take me out of town 4 days a
week...so I am going have to miss my Tuesday nights with
the children.

1. Do you believe that I would be able to switch my Tuesday
nights to Friday night so I don't miss any time with children?

2. What would I have to do to request this?

3.  Is this reasonable, and what do you think are my chances?
#12
Dear Socrateaser / What proof do I need.
Jul 08, 2004, 05:19:54 AM
History...divorced Jan..custody joint/legal  Just went to court about
contempts, but paperwork wasn't in order, so will try again.  


Going into court for 11 contempts on my ex.

I have tried reasoning with her, but she just says all these
things are just 'lies'...and I tell you today...everyone of these is the
truth, but I don't know how to prove it.

I know the judge is not going to listen to a bunch of peti things, but
I feel her goal is to austrosize me from my children.

She talks against me in front of the children (no recorded record)


Agreement:...laptop will go back and forth between homes..(she has
taken possession of this and I have never seen it back so the kids
can use it at my house)...says it is being repaired...asked for bill...no bill

Each of these (which I was won't list to bore you), are actions that
have been taken against the agreement.  She seems to do this at
will and am very frustrated, and decided to use the court.

1. Do I have to have tangible proof or what proof do I need?
 (no police record or anything)

Have to go pro-se....gone through thousands of dollars in lawyers fees, gal, etc...need all the help I can get...




#13
Dear Socrateaser / out on my butt???
Jun 30, 2004, 01:39:50 PM
History...divorced in January
   Got laid off from my job in April and have been on severance

   Went to court and got a reduction in cs

   My ex treatened today about moving into the house (she moved out   of over 3 years ago and left kids with me)  Guardian recommended
joint custody, with her being custodial parent.

I am paying mortgage, which was court ordered if I remain in house.
 

Because of my being laid off and her not working, my ex suggested to
the judge in order to save money she wanted to move back into the
house (she left) with a paying roomate with the kids, and me move out.
Judge did not comment on this because this was a hearing just for cs reduction.

I also remarried last Saturday, so my wife and I are in the house the
court said I could be in as long as I have it up for sale....it is and I am.

1.  Can she do this?

#14
Dear Socrateaser / Can this be done?
May 26, 2004, 11:22:24 AM
My final divorce was April.

House was ordered to  be sold...I am in the house
Am able to stay in the house until it is sold...court order

My ex has put a motion in to the courts that I am in contempt
because I am not aggressively promoting the sale of the house.

This is absolutely not true...4 Open Houses since April
                                        1 offer refused by my ex
                                        numerous individual home seekers

1.  Will she be able to get this contempt and kick me out of the house
and her move in?
#15
Dear Socrateaser / Health Insurance Coverage
Apr 08, 2004, 08:43:02 AM
1.  Could you tell me when my divorce is finalized in about 2 weeks,
do I still have to keep health insurance on my ex wife?

2.  I realize I have to keep it on my children, but do I have to keep it
on her?
#16
Dear Socrateaser / Is this legal?
Mar 11, 2004, 07:56:07 AM
I am revisiting another stumbling block with our divorce agreement...

I have joint  legal custody and am wondering if this is "the way it is"?

My son is going to a therapist to get through this divorce situation.
He goes to these sessions with my ex and they refuse letting me know
anything that goes on in those meetings.  My ex told me they were
confidential....like I don't exist....
This is suppossed to be a session for my son...but she goes in with him...he is 13.  

1. Does the therapist have any obligation to me about progress or
info about the sessions?  He is still my son and have joint legal.
#17
Dear Socrateaser / spending cs on vacations????
Mar 07, 2004, 09:46:23 AM
I feel my ex is spending alot of money on things that have nothing to
do with the children.  She does not work, and the only income she has
is what I give her.

I do give her more than 700.  Someone once told me in TX there is
an accountability for expenditures if cs is over  700.
I live in MA

1.  Is there ary accountability for expeditures for child support?

#18
Dear Socrateaser / Child care expditures
Feb 29, 2004, 07:54:52 AM
I feel my ex is spending alot of the money I give her on things that don't have anything to do with the kids.....vacations,
She does not work, and I am the only source of income for the children.
I live in MA

1.  Is there any accountability for what and where she spends the
child support money?
#19
Dear Socrateaser / what if???
Feb 27, 2004, 05:31:23 AM
Hi Soc:
I am trying to figure out my future and would appreciate your input
on some of my concerns:
My child support payments were configured on my income and my ex's.
There is no award for alimony, but does not prevent her from doing
so in the future...

1.  If I remarry, will by ex be entitled to her income as well?

2.  Someone once told me if my future wife kept her former name
that would prevent my ex coming after her income.  Is this true?

3.  Is there a difference if my ex comes after money in the
context of child support or alimony?


.

#20
I sign in alright with my chat username, but when they give me the link to click on to for my password, it's a blank screen.
Therefore I can't get my password, and can't get inot chat...help:(
#21
Custody Issues / Does anyone know....???
May 19, 2007, 12:04:29 PM
Does anyone know my chances of the court allowing my seventeen year old son to change his residence to mine from his mother?

He and his mother have continually been at each other and emotionally,
he is a wreck....His marks have plumitted and yesterday he came to
my door with his clothes and said he is not going back......

I welcome him with open arms, but I am wondering the legalities of
this....the police came to my door, (assuming that his mother sent
them to get him)....just asked if he was here, and asked if we had
joint custody, and I said we do,,,,,and they left without my son.....

What are my next steps,,,,,He definately wants to be here,,,but also
know the complexes of the court system....

His mother said she is going to court Monday......
#22
Custody Issues / question
Jun 02, 2006, 09:15:08 AM
Could someone give me some examples of
"Substantial Change of Circumstance" that would
warrent a 'change of custody' from joint to sole?

I would appreciate as many cenarios as you can think of.....



#23
Custody Issues / She's at it again....
May 26, 2006, 05:32:47 AM
I
HELP
#24
Just want to know what to do to get the 50/50 that I want...
I am at the presipest and go to court this month....again
I deserve 50/50 as does my pbfh....ok trying to be fair........
She has more time than me....how come...we are both "fit"
parents...what gives her more time????????????  Gender??
#25
Custody Issues / 50/50
Jan 02, 2004, 11:05:23 AM
Could anyone tell me if there is any law or statement that a parent
should have 50/50 custody if both parents are proven to be fit parents?

The Gal just gave me the red hot poker, and gave my pbfh more
time, because the kids want more time with their mother.  They are
so alienated it is pathetic...apparently that doesn't matter when it comes
to the mother...............

When do children make the rules???

I still have temporary physical custody.....at least for now

If anyone could give me any information on 50/50 and the right of
having this, I would appreciate it....

Still fighting...can't give up until I get 50/50..............
#26
I am so frustrated when it comes to fairness to the Father.....well,
throw Fairness out the window....I would like to BE a Father.....

After an incident at the house in May when Drop Off didn't go
so well,,,,my ex comes out an is having a fit about our son not
going to be there by nine....well, she got herself all buzzed and
out of control....walked over to my van,,,and said, "I'm going to
kill you.....you f.......and punched my in the face....  
My son was home at 9,o'clock,  but he came two minutes after I dropped the other
kids off.....(I arranged for his ride,,,he was at a friends, and I couldn't get my oldest to work, my middle to laccrosse, so I took the other
two home, and arranged for a ride for my son) to be home at 9

Went to the police and they took pictures, but when we went to
court she just claimed I fabricated the whole story and our
daughter saw the whole thing, and she said it never happened...she's 12
In court she said she had a Letter from my daughter that says
it never happened...I have.police pictures with my face red and puffy on one side,,,,,]
 records and all....but I'm fabricating.....

My daughter was in no position to see whether she hit me or not....
she was too far away, but what I am mad about is her bringing
our daughter into these proceedings.......

Well, had to go to emergency hearing,,,,her motion to move for sole
custody because 'the battle' (on her part) was so damaging for the
kids to watch that it destabilized their household....we have joint
custody with eow and one week day.....

I know this a little role reversal.,,,but believe you me that it happens
to men and it happened to me all my married life, and when I finally
did something about it....I get punished for going to the police for the
first time ever......

Since the parent coordinator said that the kids could choose whether
to come to my house,(orders at court stipulation),,,all the kids have refused and haven't seen
them in a month.....we are supposed to go on vacation next week.
She has intimitated those children so they don't know which way is up.
She can do anything she wants without ANY consequences...
I have seen my children every weekend and one week day for 3 years
and never missed an opportunity to be with my children....

Now my father talked to my daughter, and said she really didn't think
she can come on vacation (who has rented a beautiful cottage for two
weeks) now because driving class is the week we go for vacation...
and my daughter said she has to work *parttime---my middle
son has a concert to go to....and that leaves my youngest who will
not come alone,,,,,they have always come all together....and their
mother constantly bad mouths us, but can never prove it....

So now am sitting her at 2 in the morning, wondering what happened
I now have to go in front of a parent coordinator, and allow her to
introduce visitation back to me, when this whole thing was a revenge
for arresting her for assaulting me, and   I can't say for certain that
she did see it, and lying, or never saw it.....or with
some kind of rose colored glasses on because they say (from Mom)
It is all a fabrication....

We all miss out and not sure what to do next...my parents were looking
forward to having their grandchildren visit, and this is so heartbreaking.
#27
Father's Issues / insurance coverage
Apr 08, 2004, 08:56:32 AM
Has anyone been in this position?

I want to know if I have to keep insurance (health) on my ex after
the divorce is final?

I know I have to keep it on my children, but want to know if I have
to keep it on the ex?