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I have heard that a lot of the search sites are really a rip off. Does anyone know which ones can produce good info?

I have a friend who has been avoiding his step daughter for over 30 years. She is very angry because when he & her mother split up, her mother kept her & let him take their children.

She has sworn to kill his kids because she wants him to suffer the way she feels she did with her mother who was abusive. His kids are adults, now. He got word today that she contacted his family & let them know that she knows where he is.

Her mother, who has since passed away, was mentally ill, & her daughter appears to be as well, so her threats must be considered serious.

He wants to alert the local police but needs more than her name & age. Any info or suggestions would be appreciated.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

This brought tears to my eyes. Grab a tissue & enjoy.

//www.armedforcestribute.com

Hi everyone! Long time no see. Lots of news but I will save that for later. I need some info on OK law about custody & visitation.
I have a friend who is the guardian of his adult child & his grandchild from childs first marriage. The second marriage produced another child. There was a divorce in TX about 10 years ago. The adult child suffers from significant mental health problems & has spent a good deal of time institutionalized & is currently. He has raised the first grandchild. The second ex disappeared with the child, shortly after the divorce was final. The divorce decree gives his child standard visitation but they have not seen or heard from them for nearly 10 years.
Recently he located them. He has not made contact for fear that he will run again. I told him that I think he will have to get jurisdiction transfered to OK before he can get anyone to pursue reunification counciling. Does anyone know if this is correct? Or what he needs to. We will welcome any & all suggestions. The grandchild really longs for the sibling.
Thanks & Hugs to all
Betty

After reading your responses to aussie, I just wanted to share some things with you. Sometimes, you can get things done in an emergency that you can't do through regular channels.

My son's judge is a father hating, blonde, airhead bimbo who disregarded all evidence & kept kids with a drug addicted, abusive, mentally ill (bi-polar +) sicko, just because she is a women & this "judge" believes that all kids belong with their mother, no matter what.

When she beat his daughter so severely that the school intervened, he was able to get an exparte hearing before another judge who transfered custody immediately.

What I am getting at is that, while it may take some time, get your ducks in a row, now. First, is your attorney a Board Certified Family Law & Custody specialist, who specializes in father's rights? Ask what the firm's success rate is in these types of cases.

If they won't tell you or the numbers aren't high enough, get a new attorney. A specialist is essential when dealing with a biased judge. My son's first lawyer also told him that it was cut & dried & then stood there & did nothing while her attorney drove a tank over him.

You said that you had an ally in her former drug partner. See if she will help you further. She certainly knows people who know people. If she can keep an eye on her & find out when she is "holding", you can call the police & get her busted. A drug conviction can only go against her.

If she does get custody restored, you should try to see if you can get that same friend to let you know if she takes them with her, again, to drug houses. If you can catch her in the act of endangering them, & can get an exparte hearing, you may draw a different judge & get custody.

You might also consider approaching the issue of civil rights. If one parent is going through something that prevents them from being an effective parent, custody should go to the other parent, not a third party, regardless of the relationship. I know that battle is being fought, as a constitutional violation, in several areas of the country, now.

In the mean time, we will keep you & your family in our prayers. Tell your hubby not to give up. He is not alone & someday, his kids will appreciate all he has done to try to protect them.

Good luck & God bless.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

Just when we think my son's pbfh cannot sink any lower, she rears her ugly head & does it again. On Friday night, she called after having almost no contact with the kids since Dec 04, and demanded to see them for her scheduled visitation the next day. (She gets 3 hours every Saturday but hasn't taken it in all that time) She has only spoken to them on the phone a couple of times & showed up at a couple of ball games. Bear in mind that Monday was the first day of school. They really needed to be upset 2 days before school starts

gr8Dad took them to the police station for the exchange. The court order reads that if she is more than 10 minutes late she forfits. This was put in because she used to make us wait 20 to 30 minutes every week. She rolled in at 2:09. When she got out of the car, she was playing the martyr, acting all sick & in pain.

The guy with her said that she wasn't going to keep them the whole 3 hours because she had been at the ER till 4:00. She told the kids she didn't feel well. gr8Dad told her to call him when she was done & he would come get them.

When he got them, they were noticebly subdued. Finally his daughter told him that their mother was 1 month  pregnant. One of the ways she used to influence his daughter was to tell her that she was mommy's special little girl. She would go on & on about how much she loved her baby girl.

She proceeded to tell her that she hoped the new baby would be a girl so she wouldn't be the only girl in the family. That now she could have a girl to love. The poor kid felt like she had been slapped in the face.

As if that wasn't enough, Monday night she called her & told her that the baby had died. I swear, she must stay up nights trying to figure out ways to torment those poor kids. I can't imagine why she would even tell anyone so early on, much less the kids.

We still haven't been to court on the charges she lied about & pressed, back in January. So, he has to send them if she asks. He just got a court date for February 2nd. Everything is so backed up here.

Please keep these kids in your prayers.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

 Father's day and the current state of fatherhood
Jun 17, 2006
by Armstrong Williams

As Father's Day 2006 approaches I am absolutely devastated about the current state of fatherhood in this country. It is terribly troubling that our society accepts fatherhood as a luxury, not a necessity. An involved, loving, active father has become the exception in this country, and it's time we make it the norm again.
There are some things that only a father can provide his children. Although a mother is vital to a child's development, there are some activities that a dad just makes perfect. Shooting baskets or going ice skating becomes more than a bonding experience between father and child. It becomes a moment when boys learn how to carry themselves as men, how to strive for a goal, work hard, and strengthen their male personality. It becomes a moment when daughters learn how a man should properly treat a woman, interact with males, try their best, overcome adversity, and strive for their potential. There is little in life that can simulate these fathers – child moments that turn ordinary days into treasured lifelong memories.

Like most loving fathers, my father expected a lot out me and my siblings. He constantly encouraged me and pushed me to reach my potential, but occasionally - and only when necessary - he would use his lash to get my attention. His stern face or grave words would let me know that my behavior or attitude was out of line. My healthy fear for him in these rare moments kept me focused on living a healthy productive life. I remember his strong grip as he taught me to shake hands like a gentleman, I remember his huge arms wrapping me tight after tough Little League losses, and I remember my Father's extraordinary courage to do the right thing regardless of the situation. I would never be where I am today without my mother, but my father taught me how to be a man.

An active father does more than help his son grow into a man or daughter grow into a woman. He provides the spiritual leadership that every family needs. My father taught me how to handle difficult situations by keeping perspective. He taught me that faith comes first. Family comes second, then friends, after that, its education and vocation. My father taught me to rely on God and trust that He would protect me as I walked through the "shadow of the valley of death," or faced unexpected hardships in my life. And more than just teaching it, my father lived it. I saw him read the Bible daily, pray habitually, and attend and participate at church every Sunday. My father provided the spiritual leadership that the Bible calls for, and I believe this kind of leadership should ideally be handled by a man. Regardless of the religion, this cannot be done properly if the father is absent.


Kids can truly achieve so much more when their father is present and active in their everyday lives. Studies have repeatedly shown that a two parent household with active parents is the key to a child's development. Certainly many, many children of one parent households have gone on to great things, but they shouldn't have to. The idea that a father's presence is a luxury needs to change. Even if the parents divorce, a father should be present for every sporting event, every school activity, and all the ordinary moments that define a child's early life. Divorce or separation is no excuse for a father to stay away or reduce his involvement in the children's development. In fact, in the sad case of separation, a father should become more involved, because the children desperately need positive influences during divorce proceedings.

As we celebrate Father's Day this year, we should praise the men who are true fathers - the men who willingly involve themselves in their children's lives. We should thank them for their love and dedication, and be proud of their achievements. However, we must also call attention to the cowards who father a child but never become a true dad. We need to take a hard look at why these fathers run out on their families and abandon their children. We cannot lower our standards by ignoring these dead-beat-dads and considering them the norm. We cannot overlook the problem or sweep it under a rug. Our children are too important, and they need their father. If they are to reach their highest potential, it will be with the help of their father.

Armstrong Williams is a widely-syndicated columnist, CEO of the Graham Williams Group, and hosts the Armstrong Williams Show.

Copyright © 2006 Armstrong Williams
 

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

 Mixed feelings on Father's Day
Jun 18, 2006
by Dutch Martin ( bio | archive | contact )

Email to a friend Print this page Text size: A A As the product of a single-parent home, I have always had mixed feelings when Father's Day comes around every June.  How could I comment on the importance of fathers if my own formative years were shaped by my own father's absence? Although much has been written about the negative effects of fatherlessness on black children I would like to share my feelings on how important fathers are and how misguided welfare policies have undermined the black family—including my own.
 
Historically, black families were intact and strong. Even during an era when racism was worse, blacks still worked hard, kept their families together and sought to educate themselves and their children. In other words, we not only survived in the face of the obstacles in our way, we excelled.

What happened?

LBJ's 1964 "War on Poverty" program happened.  Economic and social progress in the black community was utterly ruined with the expansion of the welfare state.  A bureaucracy was formed that basically subsidized irresponsibility and social dysfunction, paying unmarried black women to have children out-of-wedlock while giving weak-willed black men an excuse to be lazy, irresponsible losers siring as many illegitimate kids with as many women as they pleased. (Any why not?  The government would take care of their progeny.)  Having had survived centuries of slavery and discrimination, the black family began a rapid moral disintegration under a program that went from an emergency rescue to a way of life.   No wonder so many blacks just sat on their hands and did nothing after the civil rights movement.  

For three generations—until welfare reform was adopted in 1996—young black girls were raised and culturally conditioned to be "baby mamas" instead of loving and nurturing wives and mothers, and prefer "baby daddies" over responsible, loving and supportive husbands and fathers.  In the black community, the mere idea of marriage as a sacred institution for the proper rearing of children soon became a joke.

Many black men saw no reason whatsoever to be committed husbands and fathers. And why should they? Welfare rendered their role in the family unnecessary.  In her book The Burden of Bad Ideas Manhattan Institute scholar Heather Mac Donald recounts how when she asked a woman receiving welfare benefits what she would do without them, the woman replied, "I'd get me a husband."
 
I grew up on welfare, the youngest of six children with an absentee father.  My family life was dysfunctional to say the least, and not having my father in my life left a void in my soul that at times has been emotionally crippling.  Who would teach me how to drive a car, tie a necktie, balance a checkbook, and relate well to the opposite sex?  Most importantly, who would teach me how to be a man? I don't care what modern feminists say, a woman cannot instill in a male child the tools he needs to be a man.  I had to learn many of life's lessons of manhood the hard way—pretty much on my own.
 
Remembering the spiritual and moral decay that living in a fatherless home on welfare festered in my family and all the families in our neighborhood makes me both angry and sad.  What makes me angrier is that today's black "leaders" don't have the guts to admit that the welfare state—which for many of them was their political meal ticket—failed black America horribly.  Thomas Sowell, in an August 17, 2004 article entitled "A Painful Anniversary," puts it this way:

The War on Poverty represented the crowning triumph of the liberal vision of society—and of government programs as the solutions to social problems.  The disastrous consequences that followed have made the word "liberal" so much of a political liability that today even candidates with long left-wing track records have evaded or denied that designation.
Don't let anyone kid you, folks.  Fatherlessness hurts like hell!  You never get over it; you just deal with it.  I've been dealing with it for 32 years.


Copyright © 2006 Townhall.com
 


You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

Do dads make a difference?

Judging by the way they're often depicted in pop culture, the answer would seem to be no. From the big screen to the small screen, from books to advertisements, fathers are mostly bumblers, abusers or dullards.

When they're around at all, that is: Many a plot revolves around deadbeat dads who are they're simply gone, and no one seems the worst for it. As a recent article in The Washington Post noted, "There's an increasingly endangered species on modern television: functional marrieds." The dysfunctional ones, by contrast, are legion. The message is clear: If you don't have a father in your life, don't sweat it. Heck, you're probably better off.

Well, with Father's Day just around the corner, it's time to explode this so-called conventional wisdom for what it is: a vicious lie. In fact, a wealth of social-science data, much of which can be found on http://www.familyfacts.com, shows the opposite to be true: Loving fathers bring a vital dose of love, security and stability to their wives and children and they make a very positive difference, indeed.

Here's one finding about fathers -- published in the journal Child Development and compiled from samples of girls in the United States and New Zealand, who were followed from age five to approximately age 18 -- you can read in just two clicks from the familyfacts.com home page:

Even when controlling for differences in family background, father absence was associated with the likelihood that adolescent girls will be sexually active and become pregnant as teenagers. This association was strongest for daughters whose fathers were absent when they were younger. Compared with the pregnancy rates of girls whose fathers were present, rates of teenage pregnancy were 7 to 8 times higher among girls whose fathers were absent early in their childhoods and 2 to 3 times higher among those who suffered father-absence later in their childhood.

Another factor that positively affects the children in a family is whether a father is religiously active. W. Bradford Wilcox, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Virginia, conducted an extensive amount of research in this area for his book "Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands." From it, the familyfacts.com site pulls this eye-opening finding:

Frequency of church attendance is a stronger predictor of paternal involvement in one-on-one activities with children than employment and income, and its effect is comparable to that of race, ethnicity, and education. Both active conservative and active mainline Protestant fathers have significantly higher one-on-one and youth involvement scores than their unaffiliated counterparts.

Yet where are the fathers that we so desperately need? Despite clear evidence of the positive difference that they make, we've seen their numbers drop precipitously over the last few decades. According to family expert Patrick Fagan of The Heritage Foundation, in 1950, 12 out of every 100 children born entered a broken family -- four were born out of wedlock and eight saw their parents divorce. Fast forward 50 years, and the number quintuples: For every 100 born, 60 wind up in a broken family -- 33 born out of wedlock and 27 see their parents divorce.

As Fagan concludes, in the space of one half century, America has transformed itself from being "a culture of belonging" to being "a culture of rejection." And the children caught in the middle pay the price. As Fagan writes:

How much of a difference do these absent fathers make? Plenty. Survey data from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), for example, show that teen-agers without a dad around are almost twice as likely to be depressed as teen-agers from an intact married family. They are more than four times as likely to be expelled from school and three times as likely to repeat a grade. Drug and alcohol abuse is much more common. On top of that, they are also more likely to have sex before they are married-setting the stage for yet another fatherless generation.

Life without a father also is a good way to miss out on the American Dream. The poverty rate for all children in married-couple families is roughly 7 percent, NIH data show. By contrast, the poverty rate for all children in single-parent families is 51 percent.

Maybe the folks in the make-believe world of television and the movies can get by without "functional marrieds" and the dads who make up one half of that vital equation. But for those of us in the real world, fathers play an irreplaceable role. As I point out in my book, Home Invasion, they help us mothers raise the happy, healthy children who make a thriving society possible.

So to all the fathers out there: Don't let the pop culture relegate you to oblivion. We need your leadership and your love – we need you. You are vital to your families, to our society and to our nation's future. Please make every day a day of fathering.

Rebecca is the author of Home Invasion: Protecting Your Family in a Culture That's Gone Stark Raving Mad and a vice president at The Heritage Foundation, a Townhall.com Gold Partner.

Copyright © 2006 Rebecca Hagelin

We keep hearing this & we know it is true so why won't the lawyers & the courts listen???

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

At 4:50 this morning a storm hit. It picked up my 32 foot travel trailer & put it in gr8Dad & gr8Mom's bedroom. They said it came up suddenly. So far they say it was not a tornado. They are calling it straight line winds from 65 to 100+ mph. But I can't figure how it could flip the trailer onto it's roof & shove it into the house in less than 30 feet of space. It looks more like it was picked up & thrown.

Our big storage building, which is actually a 40 foot tractor trailer is laying on it's side. All the christmas lawn ornaments which were stored behind it are flat, along with a lot of other stuff. We have not attempted to open it. There are a lot of family treasures in there.
 
But, it is all just stuff. It is replaceable, or things we can do without. gr8Dad & gr8Mom had run out of the bedroom to get the kids out of bed & into the bathroom just seconds before the trailer hit. The glass from the windows came in so hard that their mattress & pillows are covered with pieces of glass stabbed into them. If they had been in bed, they would have been cut to ribbons.
 
Our next door neighbor lost his travel trailer too, but his smashed to pieces & most of it landed on his mother's car. He also has roof damage. So many friends & neighbors have come by to offer help. Our good Lord protected us & no one was hurt. We are blessed & that is all that really matters.


You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

Witchly was waiting at the ball field when gr8Dad arrived with 3 oldest DGD"s for their game. This is about the fourth game she has shown up at but has made no contact with the 2 boys. His DD got out of the car & as witchly opened her arms & smiled, DGD walked up to her & syelled right in her face, "Since you don't go to the boys games, I don't want you to come to anymore of mine."

She then walked away & went to the dugout. She totally ignored her for the whole game. As they were leaving, he told her that she had handled herself well & asked if she had gotten hurt. (She fears the violence from the past) She told him, "No, but she sure gave me a mean look."

She then pointed at them (witchly & her current bf who looks old enough to be her grandfather & is obviously on something) & told her dad that he could run over them & no one would mind. He then told her that wasn't nice & simply because her mother gave her life, there will always be a minimum amount of respect that is do.

Inside, he wanted to stand up & cheer. I guess there is hope after all.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

The miserable &!%#$ is emotionally torturing my DGD, every chance she gets. She is also hurting the boys at the same time. She has been showing up at the ball field for her games. She keeps telling her lies about the courts. The latest one is that when they go to court at the end of the month, she is getting custody of her.

gr8Dad had to get the papers out again & show her that there is no mention of custody & that it can not be discussed if it is not in the papers.

DGD told her brothers that she was glad that mom was making the games. DGS told her that she has not made any contact with them, even though the fields are across the street from each other & usually at least one of them is playing at the same time as she is.

Please pray for these kids. They are hurting so bad.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

We went through a total meltdown with gr8Dad's DD, this weekend. A few weeks ago, her mother got to talk to her during a visit to a relative in another state. (Gr8Dad was nice enough to take the kids to see pbfh's parents, sister & family) They called her mother & let her talk to her. This was the first contact in over a year. She played with the poor kid's head, as usual, & told her a bunch of lies about an upcoming court case.

She initiated the case & then told DD that her daddy went to court & told the judge that he wants her banned from ever seeing the kids. Poor gr8Dad had to bring out papers & explain all the basics of what is going on & prove the fact that she started it.

It was heart breaking. He told her that it was going to be okay & she sobbed & sobbed as she realized that her mother had done it to her again.

We were really pleased that she had gotten through it this time. After these incidents, she usually wound up in the psych unit for a few days. She is 14 this week. Chalk it up to maturity.

Wrong! We did not realize that she did not have a vent for all the anger she had at her mother. Following true to nature, she went after us. It started Friday evening & went down hill Saturday.

I finally had to send her home Saturday afternoon because she was so rude & obnoxious. Her dad tried talking to her & she exploded. He saw sides of her that she has never shown anyone.

She said mean, hateful, horrible things to him. Somehow, he remained calm & stood by her. after several hours, she had finally gotten it all out & was laying in a fetal position on the floor.

He got down & tried to hold her but she fought him. He held on & eventually she rolled over & crawled into his arms. They then spent time putting the pieces back together.

Yesterday at church, we had a program & one of the questions posed by our pastor was what can we do to overcome the power of darkness that we see in the world today. DD raised her hand & told everyone that when someone hurts you, you must forgive them. No matter how many times they hurt you, you must just keep forgiving them & pray for them.

Everyone was impressed by her answer but I was the only one who knew what she was talking about. I gave a quick prayer of thanks that this time she was not in the Psych unit again. Please pray for her.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

I came across this on the Procter & Gamble site. It is obviously written by a woman but good tips, especially for single new dads.

You may think of bonding as a one-time event that occurs just after birth. But bonding is an ongoing process with no clear beginning or end. In fact, dad can bond with baby even before he or she is born. Many experts believe babies in the womb learn to recognize voices. Dad can make certain his voice is heard by talking, singing and gently rubbing your midsection. By doing so, your baby will learn to associate his voice with a soothing rub before he or she even enters your world.

Encourage him to try these other ideas for bonding with your new arrival.

 Physical closeness comforts babies. Many hospitals recommend a method of bonding called Kangaroo Care, especially for parents of premature infants. It has been proven to help premature babies thrive, but can be effective with full-term infants too. While your infant is wearing only a diaper, dad should hold her upright against the center of his bare chest. This skin-to-skin, heartbeat-to-heartbeat contact helps keep your baby warm, and the physical closeness comforts the baby.  
 
 Just as you enjoy a good massage, your baby does too. In fact, many experts recommend a gentle massage to stimulate the baby and help with bonding. It is also said to aid digestion, relieve colic and ease tension. Look for a book or infant massage class to learn the appropriate technique.  
 
 Remind dad that unless he's clean-shaven, his skin can be bristly and irritate baby's tender skin. So when he's close, baby is comfortable.

 Let your baby know that, like you, dad provides comfort. When baby is fussy, dad should comfort her with gentle cooing, rocking, singing or walking. Dad should be a part of the care routine: changing diapers, bathing and feeding her. His daily routine also can include carrying her in a baby carrier or sling.  
 
 Your baby will love to hear the sound of her father's voice. Dad should read the newspaper to her, tell her about his favorite sports team or sing to her. She may not comprehend the words, but the voice will give her the attention she enjoys.  
 
 No matter the age, dad should communicate at the baby's eye level. At first your baby can focus only on things that are close to him. Dad should get close, look into his eyes and hold still while baby gets to know his face. Once baby is sitting in a stroller or walker, dad should get down on the floor and speak at baby's level, instead of being a booming voice from up above.  
 
 You can strap her in a stroller, so she can join dad for a jog. When older, she can ride her tricycle alongside dad. Eventually, the two can bicycle together. Encourage dad to regularly include her in an activity she enjoys.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

Hi Friends, Sorry I am such a stranger. Hopefully that will change soon. Guess what? gr8Dad is headed back to court. His lawyer feels it should be fun. Of course, his idea of fun is expensive.

After disappearing for over a year, the PBFH has filed for contempt on him for failing to produce the children for visitation on 3 dates a couple of months ago.

All of these dates are for the wrong day of the week & also for dates that PBFH was supposed to be in jail. Wondering what she was smoking when she told the free lawyer all the bs?

gr8Dad's lawyer says he is filing for all back CS that AG didn't tack on, All his fees that she was ordered to pay the last time, all back co-pays for dr's & scripts, all past contempts (probably over 100), plus a bunch of other stuff.

He says when he gets done with her, she will cringe in fear if she even thinks of going back to court. I don't want to say too much cuz even though I don't think she has any way to get on here, I don't want to take any chances. No sense taking a chance on warning her.

Court is early next month. I will give you details after. Please keep us in your prayers.
Love & prayers to all.
Oh yeah, we got the judge that I busted my butt getting elected!!!Hehehe

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

First, I want to Say Hi & wish everybody a very Merry Christmas & tell you that you all are always in my prayers. My puter has been down for over 3 months. I bought a "REAL GOOD" one. (not) Hopefully I will be back soon.

Next, I am posting a piece that my son, Gr8dad, wrote & posted on another board. With his permission, I am pasting it here.

************************************************************

Feel free to redistribute this. I wrote it, and all I ask for is that my "handle" be left at the bottom.

Divorced Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a light was turned on, no cookies left out.
No stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
And the place where the tree should have stood was left bare.
No children were sleeping upstairs in their beds,
They were elsewhere with Christmas dreams run through their head.
A lone, tired figure, who had spent the night weeping,
Was up in their bed, trying hard to be sleeping.
It was the first year, since the family dissolved,
And something was missing, and sadness evolved.
Oh, the children were safe, and would have Christmas cheer,
Just at another abode, with one parent this year.
These feelings ran amuck, and they instantly stirred,
When up on the roof, crunching boots could be heard.
The thoughts disappeared, and a fear did arise.
It couldn't be Santa, with no kids to surprise.
The lonely, sole figure, silently slid down the steps,
And was shocked as Saint Nick, through the fireplace crept.
He looked just the same, as in past years he had,
But the sight of his frame, made the lonely one sad.
"Sorry Santa, I'm afraid, you have wasted a trip.
The kids aren't here." They said, losing their grip.
Tears from the joy, which they should have been feeling
Rolled down their face, and their head started reeling.
Santa instantly stood at their side, since he knew,
And said, "I am here, not for them, but for you.
I just left the house, and their gifts were a lot,
But a note in their Christmas list gave me a thought.
They wanted to make sure that this first Christmas year
That both Daddy and Mommy both had Christmas cheer.
This tough separation has got them so scared,
So along with their presents, I answered their prayer.
I am here to assure you that you are adorn,
And the kids will be calling, first thing in the morn."
In an instant the thought of the children's sweet hearts,
Brought to mind that while not here, they still were a part,
Of the magic of Christmas that can't go away,
And that Christmas is love, not a calendar day.
Seeing his trip wasn't wasted at all
St. Nick turned away, toward the fireplace wall.
He said, "Get a tree up, and clean up this flue,
And I'll see ya next weekend, when the kids are with you"
And he rose up the chimney, leaving one heart so light,
That a Merry Christmas was assured, and to all a good night!

Written by gr8Dad in memory of that first Christmas, and dedicated to Dad's and Mom's everywhere, custodial or non, who have these feelings every year.

--------------------
No trees were harmed in the posting of this message, but a few electrons were mildly inconvenienced.

************************************************************

Gosh, he makes me proud!

May the best of last year be the worst of this year. Love & God's greatest blessings to all, msme.

Much to the delight of gr8Dad & gr8Mom, the pbfh was finally found guilty of failure to pay CS. She was sentenced to 30 days in jail, to be served on weekends.

She did show up this past weekend but we are pretty sure that she will screw it up before the 15 weeks are up. On the bright side, the county jail is a metal building with no AC. Bet she enjoyed that, as the temps here climbed into the high 90's. I know we enjoyed the idea of her getting what she deserves.  )(

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

Last evening, Monday, February 14, 2005, Valentines Day, gr8Dad & gr8Mom became Mr & Mrs. gr8Dad!!!

All 8 Kidlets were delighted & in the wedding.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

!:D  :*

You never get a second chance to make a first impression

baffeled. Nobody seems to know quite what is wrong but I am in the rehab & am definitely too young to feel this old. LOL I took a nice swim in a pool that was wammer than a bathtub. That felt good but don't know that it did anything. Now I have distinct double vision & often feel confused, having trouble folowing a train of  thought. Don't tell gr8Dad. He will say that nothing is different. LOL  Feeling very week & just kinda yucky. Guess they will do some more tests.
Lone & God bless you all

Would lovew to hear from anyone who would like to write. The days are long & it gets lonely here.

Betty Barker
Room 1712
Wichita Valley Rehab Hospital
302 Loop 11
Wichita Falls, Texas 76306

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

"I get knocked down but I get up again, they're never gonna keep me down....."
I got out yesterday but must go to rehab for a couple of weeks.  On the good side, the problem doesn't seem to be in the kidney or liver. On the bad side, it seems to be in my spine. Doc thinks a couple of weeks of intense rehab will help, so I will go.
While there are moments when the oblivion of pain meds are welcomed, I sure don't want to live like that, if I can help it. Thanks for all the prayers & good wishes. Please keep them coming.
I don't know if they will let me take my laptop with but if they do, I will keep you posted. If not, gr8Dad will update for me.
Love & hugs to all.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

phone call from Jif, thanking me for my email praising the commercial with the dad. I told them that I would like to see them change their slogan, permanently, to always say, "Choosey moms & dads choose Jif."

The lady said that she would forward my request to their marketing department. She also said that they might consider it if there was enough response.

So, here's the addy, get writing & let them know that Jif is Terrif!!!

//www.jif.com/contact/default.asp

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

The blonde, airhead, bimbo, who supposedly was a judge, LOST THE ELECTION!!!!! It is over & she will soon be history! Hurray. We campaigned heavily for the new judge & we believe that he will be fair.

He is a member of the school board in the next town. He first heard of the garbage in her court when a child came to the board, asking for help for her family because of the horrors they were going through in her court. The more he investigated, the worse the stories were that came to light. He decided to run & try to do something about it.

Her courts are severely backlogged, to the point that the state made a report on it. His campaign slogan was, "Justice denied is justice delayed."

Our prayers have been answered. The children of this community will be safer now. Many thanks to all who prayed for this success.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

at the campaign insanity, check this out.

//www.jibjab.com

There are 2 song parodies that play no favorites & sure had me rolling.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

The blonde, bimbo, airhead judge has an opponent in this years election! Gr8Dad talked to him on the phone this morning & we will meet him tonight.

Got lots of questions for him. If he gives the right answers, we will campaign like crazy for him.

He said that he first decided to run because he didn't think it was right that she ran unopposed the last 3 terms. Since he has declared his candidacy, he has been shocked by the stories that are coming out of her courtroom. He says that some are so bizzare as to seem unbelievable but are well documented.

If anyone has any suggestions for questions beyond the usual, father's rights, presumption of shared parenting & CS, please feel free to post them. I will check before we go.

I think we see a light at the end of this very dark tunnel. Pray for this guy, He sounds like we need him.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

59th bday, to boot. LOL  He said that I told him this. LOL

"Last year I replaced several windows in my house. They were
 the expensive double-insulated energy efficient windows. This week I
 got a call from the contractor complaining that the work has been
 done for a year and I had failed to pay for them. Boy, oh boy, did
 we go round and round. I told him no one pulls a fast one on this ol'lady. Even though I am a
 senior citizen and used to be a blonde, doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid!
        I proceeded to tell him just what his salesman told me last year;
---
'That in one year they would pay for themselves.' "

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

Gr8Dad's DD is back in the hospital again. The troll has been playing with her head again. This is the worst breakdown, yet. Life is, once more, a living hell while we try to reassure the rest of the kids that everything will be okay. The police were only doing their job & she will be home soon.

Somedays, I think it would be great to be connected to one of the "Families" from New York or Philadelphia. LOL  It would sure solve a lot of problems.

Please pray for her & all children who are tormented by their so called parent.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

It is family court, Wichita County, Wichita Falls, Texas. There is a judge, Juanita Pavlick, who is coming up for re-election this fall. She is never opposed. This woman is severely prejudiced & makes her decisions based on these prejudices. We would like to see her replaced. I have been researching the requirements for the position & as soon as I get the results, I will post them. Perhaps someone knows an attorney who would like to be a judge & who will put children first.

My dear friends,

Please read my post "Remove Judge...urgent"  on Soc's board. Then post any suggestions or information here. Thank you all.


You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

Sorry if this is a bit long but I have taken a long trip on the information super highway this morning.

My grandaughter brought home a brochure for a Girl Power Workshop to be held at her school this weekend. We thought it sounded good & I decided to see what was going to be offered for boys, as well. Boy, did I get a wake up call.

I went to the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental HealthServices Administration, a division of DHS) web site. They sponsor the program. There were a lot of things for girls there, including a "Links for Kids" listing.

I went to their search box & typed in boys. It found about 12 things. I looked at them & all I could find was the word "him" followed by an asterix, in several places. That lead to a footnote that said the word him or his was used for ease of reading & applied to either boys or girls.

I went back to the home page & the kids links. I found that lead to more girl sites. One was a Spanish site. I went there & was given the option of Spanish or English. As I perused the site, I found it to be much like the Girl Power Site.

It was the only area that offered a phone number. I called it & heard a Spanish tape. There was no instructions for English. I finally hit "O" & got a person who greeted me in Spanish. I asked if he spoke English & he said that he did.

I then asked why there were no English instructions on the tape, since every government number we call has a message & options for Spanish speaking persons. He asked why I was calling there if I didn't speak Spanish. I told him that his web site gave the option for either language. I then told him that I objected to their lack of services for boys. He informed me that it was determined that girls have self esteem problems & the programs were needed.

I informed him that boys had more self esteem problems than girls & wanted to know why this was being ignored. He said that it wasn't being ignored. They were aware that boys had problems & last year they started research into developing programs for boys but these things can take years & years to develope.

I then asked him what their target completion date was & he told me that he was not permitted to give me that information but that it can take many years to do it.

I told him that an answer like that seemed to say that there was no rush & no time frame in sight. He said that I should take my complaints elsewhere.

He also told me that he didn't think that it was that serious a problem because mine was the first call about boys that they had ever gotten. I assured him that was about to change.

First go to //www.samhsa.gov & take a look around. See if you can find anything for boys. SAMHSA does not have a phone number. At least I haven't found it yet.
Soy Unito / Soy Latino's number is 1-800-773-8546 Hit "O"anytime during the message if you don't speak Spanish.


This really bothered me. I hope some of you feel the same.


You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

My darling grandaughter is doing good, all things considered. We don't know how long she will have to be in but at least this time, she is speaking & participating in her therapy.

Thanks for all the prayers, please keep them coming.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!