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You offer her too many options, which invites debate, arguments, and escalation.

Option 1, which I often recommend: NEVER deviate from the custody arrangement in a high-conflict situation (barring emergency).

Option 2, you make ONE suggestion, take-it-or-leave-it.  Anything short of a "YES" is a no, and you keep the schedule.

Goal #1 = MINIMIZE CONFLICT.  Go low-contact.

Every other day is not excessive.  As an aside, I often strongly urge people not to repeatedly communicate or threaten details regarding future litigation and why.  The only purpose that serves is to give them time to prepare a defense, even if fabricate, for it.

You make a few meaningful efforts to get her to permit appropriate levels of access to the child and record her refusals as well as journaling the details of every attempt made.  When, times, duration, etc.

Then, instead of threatening (and wasting your money on your attorney sending letters and faxes) - you just act.  You address the matter in court, not through repeated emails... THAT can be construed as "controlling and harassing."

Oh, it most certainly is a crime.  It's just a matter of which one and how it's applied.  It's one thing for police to get hung up on custodial interference matters between parents, but if a third party is involved, they're committing a crime.

Mom could be charged with felony child abduction and anyone helping her for "aiding and abetting" depending upon the circumstances.

IMHO it would be difficult to get any sort of prosecution of this situation under federal (or state) kidnapping laws.  It sounds more like a violation of the terms of the custody agreement.  Especially if he has joint custody.

I agree with Davy on the best course of action.  File a contempt motion with the court that has jurisdiction. 

Yep.  Also, at the risk of going on a tangent... I always am amused when the police say it's a "civil matter" when it comes to custodial interference, but when it comes to child support, also a CIVIL MATTER - they don't hesitate to don their gear and weapons and bang down doors arresting people who fall behind on their payments.

Amazing.  And total BS.

You're definitely worrying too much.

They're typically looking for a reasonably safe home.  Their focus will be on your interactions with the child, your demeanor, and how you carry yourself with any discussions you should have.  Focus more on the joy of your parenting and less on "bashing" the ex.

If questions are asked about the ex, couch them in terms of your "concern" about anything that concerns you.  For instance, there is a difference between...

"The stupid ass lets the child stay up until all hours of the night and that's just not right.  It makes me sick."

And...

"Well, I am concerned about the impact on [child's] health.  I'm aware that he's permitted to stay up until midnight and I know that a lack of a good, full night's sleep can have a negative impact on the child's disposition and ability to learn.  It's my hope that this situation will change to something more beneficial to him."

Wonderful story!  Many congratulations.  I just can't get enough of seeing, hearing, reading stories with such positive outcomes - even when they take so very long to come to resolution.

What is the official custody arrangement at this point?  Which state has jurisdiction?

It's time for you to get yourself a crash-course on your the custody and support laws of the state holding jurisdiction over the case and learn how to prepare petitions and to file motions on your own.  You can do this.

Congratulations on the positive experiences you've had!  It's nice to have the usual scariness upended by happy stories!

You're also very smart to have the parenting plan officially recognized so that there are no shenanigans later.  Be sure that you've considered as many contingencies as possible and make that plan as tight as you can... and make sure you include a provision for move-aways... as in, prohibit them absent a hearing.

I think it's important that we recognize the difference between a troll and a normal "tangent" discussion that may take place as a result of the path the original discussion takes.

Sometimes a lot can be learned from such a tangent.  And of course, one can always create a "spinoff" thread to further discuss any tangent, relevant or "trollicious." 

[Appropriate Communication in a High-Conflict Divorce & Custody Situation]

Appropriate Communication in a High-Conflict Divorce & Custody Situation (http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/low-contact)

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