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Messages - iLUVmySD

#11
Thanks so much.  Now we just have to hire an attorney and wait for the six month mark. :)
#12
History:

My husband, (we were married in 2002), has a 4 year old daughter.  After she was born, my husband's ex (they were never married) handed her newborn over to him, and didn't take any responsibility for her for the next year of her life.  

After my SD turned 1, my husband's ex filed for custody in Nevada (where all parties lived at the time).  My husband lost miserably.  The "Hearing Master" wouldn't listen to anything my husband had to say, and gave full custody to his ex.  In the order, visitation is not even mentioned.

In 2000, my husband moved down to Arizona to be with me while I finish college.

Since then it has been a case of walking on eggshells in dealing with the BM in order to see my SD.  Now, there might be a ray of light at the end of the tunnel.  The BM took a new job at the state, thereby forfeiting her $16,000 is state support. (She has two older children by other men.)  The BM calls us up and asks if we can take my SD for an indefinite amount of time because she cannot pay for her daycare, food, care etc.

We fly her and an escort down here immediately.  The catch is that because my husband has no visitation in his order, he still has to pay the BM child support, even while she is with us.  That is why she sends here down here fairly frequently, in order to get "free money".

So to sum it up after she has been here six months (in February), we would like to put in for a change of jurisdiction from Nevada to Arizona.  I have read the laws concerning the matter and gathered that we have to get Nevada to release jurisdiction before Arizona will modify an existing order.

So here are my questions:

1. Do we have to file paperwork in Nevada or actually go to court in Nevada to get them to release jurisdiction? Or can we get Nevada to release jurisdiction from Arizona?

2. How advisable would it be to pursue this route? (If my husband does not gain custody, or at least regular visitation, it may be a long time before my husband ever sees his daughter again.)

3. If jurisdiction is moved to Arizona, would it be more likely that my husband would get full custody, as the BM does not live here and most likely would not even show up for the hearing?

Thanks for you help.
#13
My SD's BM was actually a good friend while my husband continued to pay BM child support each month from March 2004 to February 2005, while SD lived with us in our home.  BM lives in another state about 800 miles away. (She actually even asked me to be the maid of honor in her wedding. However the wedding never happened.)
The turning point happened when my husband took her to court for custody in our state and won, and now he's going for child support.  Things got really ugly!!!!!!!  It is an obsession for me to track and document all information regarding this case in preparation for if we have to go to court again, which I'm sure we will.  But then of course I've been doing it for about 5 years now.  My SD is 7. :)
#14
Second Families / RE: Arrears and Income Taxes
Aug 14, 2004, 06:32:06 PM
2003 was my second year filing a joint return with my husband, who also owes back child support.  I have filed the injured spouse form both times and never had any problems.  But just a note, if your fiance's ex is planning on spending the money on a vacation, she might have to wait awhile for it. The law in Nevada, and probably everywhere in the U.S., is that the state has to hold my husband's portion of the money (that is going to his ex) for six months before they will release it to her.  They are require to hold it for this amount of time in order to allow the "injured spouse" to file the correct paperwork.  We have even tried to get the state to release it to her sooner by faxing them a copy of the completed form, but they won't do it.  So tell her not to plan her vacation until she gets it, or not...it's your choice.
#15
Though our case is in Arizona and Nevada, it might help.
My husband is primary custodial parent.  BM gets visitation.  They agreed on their plan in mediation.
BM gets one weekend per month usually one including a holiday or day off school.  She gets all of winter break and all but 1-1/2 weeks of the summer.
Our lawyer said usually in Arizona primary custodial parent will get at least 2 weeks in the summer, but since BM was willing to sign over primary custody, my husband didn't push the subject.
Looks like you should be getting more.
Also note: My SD is 7, and she has to take a non-stop flight to her mother's airport, which means we have to drive her to an airport that has a non-stop flight about 100 miles away.
#16
Visitation Issues / RE: Things I left out
Oct 16, 2006, 12:17:07 PM
Well right now my husband is trying to get her to go back to mediation as it is a condition of their agreement that both parties go to mediation before any further court action.  However, BM has completely ignored any requests thus far and it is looking like he is going to have to get a judge to order her return to mediation.  Depending on the cost if we have to go to court to get her to even go to mediation we might just take it that next step further to try to get some time lost back.

It's just such a yucky situation and things have gotten so petty for example when my husband picked up SD on 9/15 after court, BM didn't even return any of her luggage we had sent with her for the visit.  And when he requested SD's things back, she said that she thought the clothes were not appropiate for a 6 year old and that she would not return them, even though most of the things we packed BM had bought over the summer visit.  She then added that she would like every toy and outfit that she has ever bought her daughter back.

My husband wrote BM a certified letter requesting mediation and detailing the reasons why, and we have not received the signature confirmation back in the mail which tells us that she is ignoring the notice to pick it up at the post office.  I don't understand how she thinks shutting down and not cooperating is good for her daughter...oh that's right she's not thinking about her daughter.  (Sorry for the venting...thanks all for your opinions!)
#17
Visitation Issues / RE: Things I left out
Oct 04, 2006, 12:59:20 PM
I can understand that opinion and we may not push the matter if she will renegotiate the visitation arrangement but here is some additional details that I forgot to mention that may or may not make a difference or clarify things for you all. :)
On the Tuesday before my SD left BM got paperwork that my husband has filed for child support.  Her first reaction on the phone to him was that she would rather sign over her parental rights then pay to support their daughter.
We did not call her to tell her about the situation when we first learned about it on Thursday August 31st before my SD left to go to BM's house the next day one because we didn't know anything about it.  No one would tell my husband any details either.  And two because we thought that it might be a malicious attempt to gain the upperhand in their dispute by BM and gain custody in order not to pay child support.
I just think that she is going to try to get my husband for every petty thing that she can, and so it has put us into that mindset of getting her back.
I guess we will see...it's hard to see outside the box when you are in the middle of it with all the whirlpool of emotions.  Thanks all for your opinions...it's very helpful. :)
#18
Visitation Issues / CONTEMPT
Sep 27, 2006, 12:35:25 PM
My 6 year old SD went to visit BM in Nevada (from Arizona) as ordered for Labor Day weekend visit.  She was supposed to return on Monday September 4th; however that didn't happen.

The week before the visit some little boys at SD's school said some bad things about my SD's relationship with my husband (SD's BF).  The sheriff and CPS was called to investigate per protocal.  SD denied the things that the little boys were saying and the sheriff's case was eventually closed.

During SD's visit to BM's house over Labor Day weekend, SD mentioned to BM that the cops had been talking to her at school.  BM freaks out, calls the Sheriff in Arizona and confirms that they had indeed spoken with SD that week, but could not give her any specific information.

So Monday the 4th rolls around and my husband and I are getting ready to drive to the airport to pickup my SD when BM calls my husband and states that SD will not be on the plane because she fears for SD's life and that she has a restraining order against my husband.  BM then hangs up on my husband and will not answer the phone when we tried to call back.

We immediately filed a police report in Arizona, however after about 12 hours of waiting we realized that they couldn't do much of anything because my SD was in Nevada.

Finally on the following Tuesday, we called the Nevada courthouse to check if indeed a restraining order had been filed and the woman on the phone said that one was being done at that very moment.  My husband flew up to Nevada that day.  Well to make a long story short...he filed a petition to dissolve the order in Nevada and on September 15th at the hearing the Judge did dissolve the restraining order based on BM's testimony being hearsay and that Nevada did not have jurisdiction over custody (because the custody order is in Arizona).

So now here we are, my SD is home, Thank God! But I have questions about what to do next.
We would like to file contempt charges against BM for not returning SD on specified day in the custody order.  In addition she refuses to reimburse us for transportation costs as specified in the order, and over the summer she did not adhere to the weekly allowance of phone calls my husband was suppose to have with my SD while she was visiting there.
Does anyone have any experience with this or something similar?  Ideally we would like to get the 12 days with my SD that this incident cost us back and make BM's visitation more strict.  Any thoughts?
#19
In my experience...most pro bono lawyers will only engage in a child custody case if abuse is involved.  And I think even then sometimes you need to fall within certain income limits. Hope that helps.
#20
Well my husband went to mediation with BM and they agreed to Joint legal custody with Father's home as the primary residence.  Visitation etc. is all agreed to also.
Now to get the child support order amended in NV and we are all set!
It took 5 years and plenty of preparation.  We were also lucky because the perfect opportunity presented itself to give us a very solid case for sole physical custody for my husband. With a lot of work and hope it is possible. :)