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Messages - bloom6372

#111
If you don't think he'll agree, take it through the Courts. Personally, any agreement you all can come to (if you can come to one) should be signed, notarized, and through the Courts anyway. But, if you need to take it to Court, ask for home evaluations. You may have to pay for it, though, so be prepared for that. You can ask for supervised visitation for your son, but you'll need to PROVE abuse/neglect.

Is the job you're referring to a potential job, or is it a definite thing? Also, while the house is stable, the fact is that it isn't a "guarantee" because in the Court's eyes, there's no guarantee of the relationship lasting, which could lead to uprooting your son again. So, they may not even consider that aspect of the move. The job, they would probably consider, since it could lead to a better life for your son.
#112
Visitation Issues / Re: Withholding visitation
Feb 06, 2011, 03:38:17 AM
Does the CO say anything about who pays for transportation? If it doesn't, or if it says she has to pay for it, then he won't get in trouble for not buying the tickets. It'd be up to her.
#113
You pay your attorney to do what you want, whether she wants to do it or not. If she's not doing what you ask her to do in regards to your case, tell her you'd like a partial refund so that you can obtain an attorney that will do what is necessary for your children.

As for the BM. If you can get proof of the kids staying overnight at others' homes most of the time and get documentation on her being uncooperative, you can file for primary custody. Start using email to communicate so that you have proof of everything that is said. If you have the money, hire a PI to get proof of the instability she is providing the children. Ask BM if the kids can go into counseling, and if she agrees, make sure to get copies of the records and to subpeona the therapist.
#114
All you can do is do what you are doing--DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Keep logs of how often you have the baby or visit the baby, when you call the mother (if possible, use only email communication so you can show it to the Court), etc. Also, be prepared to explain the pros and cons of both homes. And try to come up with a document showing what you want exactly as far as custody/visitation/child support are concerned (even if there is no child support in your proposal, put that the mother will be responsible for $0 child support a month). That way, your lawyer, her lawyer, and the judge can all review what you'd like.

By the way, the fact that you work won't be used against you. It allows you to provide for your child. And the fact that you have childcare lined up is a plus, as well, even if it is just family. You have a large support system and an income, something she doesn't have.

Good luck!
#115
I'd have to agree. Have your son tell the maternal grandmother to provide a Court Order stating that she has legal custody of the children or your son will be there, with the police, to pick the children up and possibly file charges of kidnapping. If your son hasn't seen a Court Order, I'm assuming there isn't one and the grandmother is lying. Definitely call the Courts where the grandmother lives and see if there is a Court Order. If not, your son is going to want to file an Ex Parte Motion to gain emergency custody. If there is no Court Order and the grandmother is refusing to release the children, she could possibly be found to be kidnapping them (depending on the circumstances).
#116
Custody Issues / Re: BM is late picking up child
Dec 26, 2009, 10:04:34 PM
When you are in Court, see if you can get put into your parenting plan that ANY time you are in the state of Texas, you are to have the child, as long as you give the mother advance notice (probably putting a time frame, like 7 days, would be best). DH has this in his CO for the state SD lives in (though there's no time frame for notification). BM CANNOT deny him any extra parenting time during his trips to SD's state, and he doesn't have to stay in SD's city, either. As long as he's in the state. It's a good idea for custody between two states.

I have to agree that going in to the police station would be best. Maybe, if it's not too much trouble, type something up beforehand that has blanks for the exchange time, and the time that you showed up and have an officer sign it. Have the same thing for when you leave. That way, it shows how long you waited. Informing the police of contact information for you and your child, and that you are leaving after waiting # of minutes after exchange time, will help make sure that you aren't charged with kidnapping. However, I do have to say that I don't think you can keep her for a few extra days because the mom is late. Maybe a few hours (maybe overnight if the exchange is near bedtime for the child).
#117
I have to agree. You need to start documenting everything now. The documentation could be used in court. Just make sure that she doesn't know where you keep it (so she can't do anything to it). Try to come up with reasons it's best to keep your daughter more than EOWE (your relationship, how often you provide her care now, etc). Try to get 50/50 legal and physical custody (if she's moving close by this will be best). I'd also make sure that before she moves out you get all this started with the courts. Make a plan for the future, so that the court sees that you are looking ahead (you can split up your proposed parenting plan to be for 5 and under, elementary school age, middle school age, and high school age). Make your proposed plan as detailed as possible so that there is no "wiggle room" for the soon to be ex if your plan is granted in court. And make sure in that parenting plan to state that the child CANNOT move more than 20-30 miles without the consent of the other parent or the court, so that she can't just take your child and force you to lose time. I know it seems like a short distance, but the further away she's allowed to go, the less time you'll get with your daughter. Good luck!

Quote from: ocean on Dec 26, 2009, 07:21:16 PM
File in family court first for JOINT custody and Shared Parenting plan.
Joint custody has to do with legal stuff (dr appointments, schooling)
Parenting plan is the time you get with your child (ask for the moon...see what you can get...work around work schedules)

Start documenting on when you have child alone, pick up from daycare, take to dr. Take a CPR class and parenting class (it looks very well in court).

You can file yourself and read this site for more info.

You can try one last ditch effort and pull out a calendar with mother and see what you can work out for the next few months. See if you both sign it... wont hold up in court but something ...shows you are trying. There are also mediation places you can go to and try to work it out before court.

Usually the LEAST you will get is every other weekend, one or two days during the week, alternate vacations/holidays, and a few weeks in the summer. What you decided now will be FOREVER>>> hard to change so think of school age and what you will do on school breaks...you can add a section for when child gets to be school aged and add time during breaks.
#118
You need to be able to provide them proof of what is going on. There's so many cases that unless you can show them proof, it's a he-said, she-said, and they won't take it seriously. If you have some sort of proof (to include your own records) they will more than likely try to look deeper into it.
#119
Father's Issues / Re: Speaking of passports...
Dec 26, 2009, 09:31:34 PM
What did their court order say at the time she did all this? If it said joint legal, then she couldn't get it without your DH's signature. If that's the case, I would contact the Department of Travel (or whatever it's called) and see if they have a copy of the application on file. If so, you will be able to see if she used the old birth certificate or if she forged your DH's signature. You could definitely use it in Court if she forged it, even if just to show her character.
#120
For passports, either both parents need to be present when they submit the paperwork, or the one that won't be present needs to sign the Consent form. But after that, you don't need the other parent's approval to travel (the only reason I know is because my hubby is in the military and we are stationed in Japan and he doesn't need a written consent from BM to get SD over here for his secondary custody).

Quote from: CuriousMom on Dec 25, 2009, 06:43:05 AM
Children's passports are only 5 years, adults 10.  I already knew that.  The traveling without both parents regardless of having a passport was something I had heard and wasn't sure.  On the news last night during the update, they confirmed you do not need the other parents approval other than the passport so that answered my question.