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Hi Soc,

Recall that biomom is insisting that she will follow what she believes the court said regarding new schedule.

Last week, OC sent me draft orders that are consistent with what I heard in court.  Biomom disagrees with the orders.

Biomom violated them on Monday.  I sent correspondence to OC and GAL about it.

OC's paralegal called me today.  This person has always been OC's right-hand person at hearings, so she seems pretty involved.  She wanted to confirm that their draft orders are what I heard.  I said yeah.

She said that biomom is refusing to accept them.  I said okay, not really my problem, but it unacceptable for her to create a fight in front of the child.  Paralegal agreed.

Paralegal asked if we could talk off the record.  I said sure.  She said if not off the record, she could lose her job.  I said okay.

She said she has several children of her own, that this case keeps her awake at night, how horrible this whole situation has become for my daughter (i.e., how biomom has handled it), that child is suffering because of biomom's rage at me (though paralegal didn't comment on her boss, the attorney obviously has no problem with these latest tactics).

She said that my pending baby (with wife) is really threatening biomom, and she wanted to make sure that I had advised on summer vacation schedule that lets child bond with new baby, because she's concerned biomom won't be supportive of it.

She advised that I should keep minor's counsel apprised of biomom's threats to violate orders, and cc him on everything I send to OC's office.  She advised me to just stay calm with him, focus on big picture, don't get into the minutia of all the problems that biomom has created.

She said that I handle myself "fairly well" in court, that our prior judge was able to manage this case (largely shield child from the constantly litigated issues and demands) because of his decades of experience and years on this case.   She said new judge is just too new to immediately see what's going on.  But she perceives that the new judge may be about to lower the hammer on biomom at our next hearing.

She wants to order a transcript.  I already ordered one (likely won't have it for 2 weeks), and I know that beginning today the court reporter is on vacation for 10 days... so OC can't even order a copy for two weeks.  She feels we're kind of in this situation until transcript says otherwise.

I had already advised OC (via letter earlier this week) that if biomom repeats custodial interference of new orders, I'll file for contempt.  I invited OC to contact me if I'm somehow misinterpreting her drafted orders.  I didn't hear back (except for this call).

I met with the school this week and gave them a copy of the drafted orders (which I signed).  Principal sent me a letter, confirming receipt of the orders and stating intent to enforce the two days per week that I'm to pick up child until they receive updated court orders.

We have a review hearing in 3 weeks.

1.  If we don't have hearing transcript before the next exchange at which there may be conflict (i.e., 10 days from now), and if biomom still states intent to violate orders (i.e., and create tug-of-war of child at school), should I just let it happen (I'll have an audio recorder present)?  Or is it reasonable and strategic to ask for a RO to keep biomom away from school on the two afternoons I'm to pick up child?  Or simply express my serious concern to GAL about the conflict biomom willingly creates in front of child, and let him handle it?

2.  Any need to write OC to document my understanding "on the record" that her client apparently disagrees with both her office and I with regard to the drafted orders?

3.  If transcript shows that biomom is wrong (which it will), how best to play it?

4.  If I gain knowledge "off the record" from someone in OC's office, I don't imagine I can share it with GAL while protecting the identity of the source, right?  Privilege and hearsay issues?

Thanks,
DD

Hi Soc,

In new temporary orders, I'm to pick up child "...from school on every Monday and Wednesday" plus daytime on "alternate weekends."  

This is what judge clearly stated, and it's what OC sent in proposed Orders After Hearing sent to me last week that I signed and returned.

Biomom was present in court when orders were made.

Biomom has evidently been following the new schedule since May 3 with six exchanges, as the new exchange times are different from old schedule.

So, I arrived to pick up child today as biomom was walking out of the classroom with child.

Taken aback, I asked something like, "What's going on?"

Biomom said, "It's not your day.  Why are you here?"

I said, "We have new orders."

She grabbed child's arm, walked away as she said, "You're wrong.  You can only have her on alternate Mondays."

Child looked confused as she left.

Child was with me yesterday, and we had come up with the plans and activities we wanted to do today after school.

I already have a meeting scheduled with the school tomorrow morning (scheduled last week).  I had emailed teacher with new schedule.  Teacher was apologetic today and took me to the principal, who was apologetic.

They said that they don't know what's going on, since I'm the only parent who's asking to meet with them (i.e., biomom hasn't informed the school that child "made a suicide threat" a week ago!).

So, school will have copy of new orders (proposed) tomorrow, which they said they'll enforce.

1.  What's best strategy on using today's action?  Write to GAL to advise that biomom put child through this psychological tug-of-war today and ask for any assistance?  CC biomom's attorney?  Write biomom's attorney?

2.  Given that we've got a long litigation history, I'm not thinking that filing for contempt would be well-received by the court, given that the court has been led to believe the child is in crisis.  Thoughts on that?

Soc,

On Tues, judge said he really wanted to see the child in therapy by end of week if at all possible (he made orders for therapy to occur at least 3 times in 30 days, but his comment on urgency was not in the orders).

I made contact with minor's counsel on Wednesday, gave him quick summary of the case's legal history (on his request), and I asked if he'd be available to select a psychologist for child, to avoid any delay or back-and-forth between mom and I on choosing one.  He was positive about that, describing a few clinicians who he thinks would be great, and that he'd be willing to get on the phone to arrange an ASAP appointment if we want him to.

On Thurs AM, I sent OC a fax, asking her to stipuate to let GAL pick the psychologist, indicating GAL's willingness, so we could get child into an appointment on Thurs or Friday; as the court urged.  I cc'd GAL.

Thurs at 4pm, OC faxed back, suggesting we use the school psychologist or another person (who isn't qualified, per court orders for a psychologist or psychiatrist).  She didn't respond to my request to let GAL pick one.

Thurs PM, I faxed again, asking that she respond to my request to agree to just let GAL pick the person.  I noted that school psychologist was inappropriate and that the other person was not qualified.  I suggested a couple names back, if they refuse to let GAL pick one.  I again cc'd GAL.

I didn't hear anything back on Friday.

Note: child supposedly made suicide threat on Monday.  It's almost a week later, and mom has yet to agree with me on urgency of a psychologist.

I've seen child on Wednesday and Saturday.  She's her normal self, a bit confused by what's going on, but playful and happy as always.

GAL requested I send him whatever I want him to review (pleadings, pictures, evidence, etc).  I've got 40 minute (hidden camcorder) videotape from May 3 dinner (i.e., first time I saw child after suicide threat).  Child was normal self, engaged, animated, cooperative, hungry, joking.  I announced date/time at beginning of recording.

On May 6, my wife videotaped child and me reading books, as we do after coming back from our routine Saturday library trips.  Child snuggles against me, head on my shoulder, as we read the new books together in her room.  Wife announced date/time at beginning of recording.

1.  At what point do I contact GAL and ask, "Is there something you can do here to get child into see a psychologist?"  Or do I just sit back at this point?  Orders are that parents will meet and confer to agree on one, and that parents will alternate taking child (dad takes her first).

2.  If/when this is all found to be a farce, is falsely reporting a child as suicidal (and willfully creating all this chaos in a child's life) a significant change of circumstance?

3.  Appropriate to send those videotapes to GAL?

Hi,

I've talked with minor's counsel, who has already invited me to send over pleadings, collateral witness list, anything else I want him to review.

With our 730 a couple years ago, I had to serve OC with copies of everything I gave the evaluator, per the contract/stipulation the evaluator made us sign.

I have an objective witness who biomom wouldn't guess is available to speak to minor's counsel, as this person repeatedly refused to get involved for either parent due to some issues involved.  "Off the record" (in hopes I could help child if I had the info) this person has told me much about his/her view of biomom and about this person's first-hand observation of biomom's poison, manipulation, and rage.  I heard even more yesterday, in conversation with this person; who now is willing to talk to minor's counsel.

It'd be swell if I can give him my collateral witness list without having to copy OC, so biomom doesn't try to influence/pressure the witness prior to minor counsel's call.

Is there law that requires I copy all my documents to minor's counsel, if we've signed no stipulation or contract that addresses it?

Thanks

Soc,

Judge started out by saying that he hasn't fully reviewed our case, but it's clear this has all be going on for a long time.  He looked at the prior OSC (denied), and commented that this one seems identical.

He said, if dad's right, mom has serious issues that are not good for the child.

He said, if mom's right, the child is in crisis.

He immediately granted my request for a child psychologist, to help child.

At that point, biomom's attorney volunteered that child threatened suicide last night, if ever forced back to father's home.

Biomom's words about the 'suicide attempt' were that six year old daughter said, "I don't want to be on this earth".

I pointed out to judge that the class went to a space museum on a field trip yesterday.

Biomom said child was despondent when saying it.

Judge's whole tone then changed, despite much back and forth between biomom's attorney and I about the symptoms only be present in biomom's home (to which OC says because child can't express them in my home).

Judge said he wanted to err on the side of caution about the overnights, and hence stripped all overnights from my home.

He ordered child to attend at least 3 therapy sessions in next 30 days.  He agreed with me that alternating parents bringing child to sessions is a good idea.

He appointed minor's counsel.

He scheduled an update hearing a month out.

I asked him specifically to clarify for me if he is disregarding two prior judges rulings about the situation, if he is disregarding a 730 evaluator's report, and is basing this all on the hearsay biomom claims child said last night.

He said, "Essentially, yes".

I contemplated for a split second objecting that his ruling was an abuse of discretion, given lack of any valid evidence, but I decided not to (I'm not sure if it applies to temp orders).

He concluded with that if he is convinced in 30 days that biomom's hysteria is to blame for all this, he'd expect me to ask for more custodial time, and he can expect that mom will pay the price with loss of time.

The court didn't find that I had done anything wrong at all as a parent.  He made no comments of concern AT ALL about any of my actions.


1.  I'm at a loss that biomom's hearsay comment about child was given any weight, particularly with her long-standing demonizing of me.  Is it even an issue to address at this time?

2.  I'm at a loss that this newbie judge (3 years on the bench, was an insurance litigator before that) completely ignored the previous findings about these same issues.  Any issue to address at this time?

3.  As child has reported to me, I believe biomom pressures child to say bad things about my home.  How do I convey this to the minor's counsel?  Is it appropriate to request a meeting with minor's counsel to address my concerns?

4. Given that my time with child is now restricted, I'm concerned that biomom has even greater opportunity to program child.  Have you ever experienced that a child psychologist would have any valuable insights into alienation tactics after meeting with a kindergartener (who has been poisoned for years) for 3 sessions?

5.    Should I file an OSC for the date of the follow-up, seeking relief from today's ruling?

6.  What now?!  It feels like 4 years of very slow progress against this unstable woman, all flushed down the drain because a new judge apparently wants to examine all the issues anew.

DD

Soc,

Met today with the principal and teacher.  No good excuses for why they didn't contact me about teacher's conversation with child, but I got apologies.  They say in retrospect, they should have told me.  Duh.

I gave them a brief education as to the protracted background of our litigation and biomom's repeated attempts to move-away or get sole.

They claim they didn't know biomom was going to use the teacher's statement for going to court  (stupid, but they admitted being naive to this).

They claim that the school never takes a side in child custody, they only document what they witness (again, naive).

I read out of the actual hearing transcript and biomom's declaration as to how teacher's position was portrayed.  They were surprised-- again, naive.

Principal indicated that they're willing to write a second declaration as to put the first into context (i.e., a one-time incident with no observation of child ever before or after being uncomfortable in my care).  We'll see how good it is.

1.  If teacher writes and basically neutralizes the first declaration as being an isolated incident, you think I'm golden on my response?

2.  If teacher writes a declaration to clarify, which essentially means that biomom and her attorney made up the rest (about teacher's position), grounds to move for sanctions?

3.  Biomom showed up at my temple during my spring break, when judge specifically told her she could only have a 2 hour dinner with child.  Biomom stayed in the Sunday school class for 3 hours, refusing to leave the child.  Relevant to mention? (e.g., showing that she's now stalking me without asking or warning, showing up at activities I plan, and thumbing her nose at this new judge re spring break)?

Hi Soc,

I've spent a bit of time trying to locate caselaw where a teacher testified to hearsay statements a child made.

There are several cases where hearsay exceptions are found to be reasonable in cases of sexual abuse and significant physical abuse.  But it's usually corroborated by other evidence (i.e., medical examiner, numerous hearsay witnesses)... so no single incident of hearsay is the entire case.

I've seen no case where teacher's testimony is the ONLY evidence, as to child's single statement about being scared of monsters in my home and not being allowed to hug a teddy bear (i.e., the essence of what I face, given that teacher didn't even comment on observing child's demeanor when with me nor did she report any history of anxiety in the child).

I don't see how hearsay exception rules of Evidence Code 1240 would apply here, right?

1.  So, how do I argue it if there's NO caselaw specific to teacher's reported hearsay of child's "slight emotional discomfort" (at best) because no litigant AND judge have jointly been stupid enough to cause an appellate ruling?

2.  Or do I just object as inadmissible hearsay, and let biomom then argue to admit it?

DD

You may recall that my prior attorney (lead guy in the office) bonked in 2004 by not objecting to a proposed judgment, having it entered, and not being able reverse above-guideline support amounts to which I had never agreed.  And he racked up $9k in fees during the whole mess, billing me for it all (I disputed each bill).

You advised to make him an offer for the liquidated value of the balance owed, excluding his work to correct his own error (to which he never admitted).

I went through all the invoices and came to a total of $800 of valid services unrelated to the error.

He rebuked my offer, offered $6000 to settle, said it would avoid possible legal action.

I replied, noting our binding arbitration clause, welcomed him to initiate arbitration.

That was a year ago, and you told me to just sit on it.  I watched the monthly invoices come in, with new interest on each.

Today the firm's new business manager called to introduce himself.  He said he went through my file, my position makes sense to him, and he got authorization to accept my original offer of $800 to settle it.  I'm asking him to mail me a letter to that effect.

I know it's probably their last-ditch effort to salvage anything from the balance, and I'd sooner keep the $800.  But fair is fair, so I'm okay with that figure.  :)

Thanks!  You da man.

Unfortunately, my prior judge retired.

We start with a brand new judge.

I got the declaration today for the Ex Parte to terminate overnights and appoint child's counsel.

It rehashed all the old stuff, all the speculation about how I ignore medical problems, anxiety, etc.  None of it true, but it paints a picture of a really unfit parent.  It's all the same as what was argued in Aug 2005.

The only new matter is a declaration from child's teacher stating that on April 7, 2006, child told her that she didn't want to go to my home because of monsters in her closet and that I don't believe that there are monsters.  Declaration also noted that when offered security objects to take home, child told teacher that I refuse to let her have anything from school or her mother's home.  Declaration stated "I don't mean any judgment by this, but I was asked to document this conversation."

This was the first I ever heard about that.  BTW, biomom is "room mother", so she's had plenty of time to bias the teacher.

I believe that child was coached to tell teacher this.  Teacher declared that child said she told her mother too.

(Child has previously sought comfort from me when upset that mother makes her say untrue things).

I successfully argued that there's no irreparable harm warranting a decision today.

It was enough for the court to want a hearing.  I got a two week continuance to rebut.  Court tossed mother a bone and gave her a 2-hour dinner visit in the middle of my spring break (but didn't eliminate any overnights).  Everything else will be argued at the hearing.

Opposing attorney is a POS who grabs things out of the air about how child is so physically ill in my care, that I am harrassing, that I care nothing for the child, that I refuse to do anything right for the child.

So, how to proceed?  I can do any/all of the following:

1.  Get declaration from my wife about child's demeanor in my care.

2.  Get declaration from grandparents on same, after they spend spring break with me.

3.  Take a polygraph that I've never withheld any security objects, toys, or comfort items.

4.  Take a polygraph that child has told me that she has to say bad things about me because that's what mother wants.

5.  Take a polygraph that child has told me that mother said she'll fix it so child never sees me again.

6.  Try to get declaration from school teacher stating that child has shared positive experiences in my home, that child does not seem distressed upon RETURNING to school from my home (i.e., though she may be programmed by mom to be anxious about it).

7.  Get declaration from rabbi that I'm a good father with whom child appears at ease.  Rabbi has known my family for 2 years and has seen us a few times a month.

8.  Secretly videotape child happily and peacefully going to sleep every night of spring break next week, as she has done for years in my home.  I guess I can mention I have it at the hearing, but I don't imagine that it's admissible.  What if a psychiatrist or therapist reviews it and writes a declaration about what's on it?

9.  I have two weeks, and the school is inaccessible until April 24 due to spring break.  How do I rebut or impeach this teacher's declaration?!

Hi Soc,

I've received nothing from opposing counsel.

Would it be appropriate tomorrow morning to file (and serve) a declaration in opposition to the Ex Parte?

I'd outline the couple strong things you indicated would be good (i.e., report card, and that child slept in my home last night, and I didn't mention that mother even sent me an email yesterday that was normal, indicating no problem with releasing child to me).

Also, I'd lay out the deposition testimony to show this is an on-going mission of mother's (i.e., nothing new, and it's all be examined previously).

There's plenty of testimony stating she's adamant that daughter can't sleep in my home, that mother wants to move away, that she thinks I'm unfit, that she can't state one positive thing about my parenting, that there is 0% chance her parenting has anything to do with child doing poorly in her home.

I'm just thinking, if I file all this when I check in with the clerk, at least it won't be a runaway hearing with little opportunity for me to testify; that judge would have plenty in his hands forcing him to give it serious thought else dismiss.

So, appropriate?

Soc,

I just received Ex Parte notice for tomorrow morning.

Biomom tried for sole custody in June 2005, tried to eliminate my overnights in Aug 2005.  Judge denied her motions.  Same judge will hear the Ex Parte.

Next week is child's spring break.  Two weeks ago, biomom asked me via email to give up my spring break time with child and asked if I would give up my summer vacation time with child.  I declined.

I'm required to give biomom my summer vacation notice by April 15.  I sent it to her yesterday, fully compliant with court orders to which we STIPULATED in May 2005.

This morning I'm advised that opposing counsel is moving for the following via Ex Parte for tomorrow:

A.  Appoint GAL
B.  Terminate overnights in my home until GAL's report
C.  Failing #2, shorten child's time in my home (I only have 35% now)

To my knowledge, child has not been seen by any therapist since 2004.  There is no evidence that child is struggling in my home, unless it's manufactured.  Child is doing wonderfully, as always... but she did seem "off" last night and I couldn't get her to discuss anything.

I just received child's report card (kindergarten) yesterday, and she has "satisfactory" marks in everything (i.e, there were no "needs improvement" marks, the only other mark for kindergarten).

I received an email from biomom yesterday, stating that she kept child home from school yesterday because child was extremely tired Tuesday night (i.e., but child was last in my care on Monday morning).

I don't want to have to pay for a GAL.

Reminder: evaluator's report in 2004 found us both to be good parents.  He found that biomom is abnormally paranoid per MMPI2 scale 6.  He reported that biomom has great difficulty managing conflict in her life.  He dismissed all the claims of neglect biomom had made about me.  He recommended 50/50 to begin summer 2006.

1.  Do I need to bring in any evidence tomorrow?  I have plenty of declarations from Aug 2005 (people calling me a good father), to counter her sole custody motion then.

2.  How do you recommend I argue this tomorrow?

Soc,

Biomom claims to be a devout Catholic, has said so in deposition.  In 2004 deposition, biomom declared that she encourages me to expose daughter to Judaism (i.e., lying through forked tongue, since she made anti-semitic remarks to me in private; but there it is in sworn testimony).

We have joint/joint with no primary caretaker assigned.  Final judgment.

No orders address anything regarding religion.

No orders address anything regarding extra curricular activities.

Biomom regularly involves daughter in extracurricular activities during her custodial time without discussing with me nor providing exact details.

Regarding education, orders state that biomom can "select THE school" and also pay for it.  (emphasis added, and this is relevant in my question below).

Orders state that parents may both attend "school" events.

My wife and I joined a synagogue in 2004.  Daughter regularly joins us at temple services during my custodial time.  In fall 2005, daughter began Sunday morning activities (i.e., commonly called "Sunday School" at temples and churches).

Biomom had daughter baptized in 2005, no notice to me nor discussion of it.  I feel biomom established the expectation that religion is private for each home.  Biomom now claims she didn't invite me because she knew I wouldn't want to come.

Biomom has repeatedly demanded to know details about the temple (i.e., daughter apparently tells her about it).  Biomom has said she wants to be a part of it (though I never invited).

I repeatedly told her to please respect my privacy and my place of worship, as I do to her when daughter is with her.  I've confirmed to her that daughter joins me in temple, that daughter engages in activities for kids her age, and that biomom can read books about Judaism if she wishes to learn more.  I've refused to disclose which synagogue we joined.

My desire to keep it private is because whenever biomom and I are togehter with daughter, biomom forces a "tug of war" for daughter's attention, takes control, and attempts to push me to sideline.

Hence my desire to keep just ONE TINY PLACE sacred and insulated for my family during my custodial time.  Particularly a place that's supposed to be peaceful and holy.

TODAY, the synagogue told me that someone claiming to be my daughter's mother was asking all sorts of questions about my daughter's involvement.  Somehow, biomom tracked it down.


1.  Would a court find it reasonable that I'd want biomom (declared to be a different faith) to simply let me pray and worship with my family in peace, during my custodial time, and without having to deal with her at my temple?

2.  Biomom's emails have attempted to get me to confirm that daughter is in "jewish school".  Would a court interpret "Sunday School" as part of its intent when it states that regarding education, biomom shall "select the school"?  Or any extracurricular activity that may have "school" in the name (e.g., Ballet School)?

3.  If biomom appears at the temple during my custodial time, do I just have to deal with it or else find another temple?  Or would it be apparent to a court that the Catholic biomom's only intent would be to control/dominate daughter while with me in my place of worship?

Hi Soc,

(Mostly I ask because my ex has made move-away attempts before (buckled before any hearing on the matter) and sought sole custody last year (denied)... so I like to stay on top of the latest move-away opinions.)

I read through the Brown v. Yana opinion posted yesterday (making some news stories today), and about all I take from it is that the father failed to offer any reasonable argument as to detriment of the move-away, and hence he didn't get his evidentiary hearing.

It actually sounds pretty sensible to me (i.e., trial court gave Dad opportunity to make initial show of detriment, and Dad just said he'll do it at the evidentiary hearing to which he felt he was entitled).

About all I saw is that it clarified that the move-away hearing to examine detriment to child is not automatic, without at least a halfway decent reason to have it.

Am I missing something major about this opinion, or are the news stories just trying to sensationalize it due to the controversial topic?

DD

Hi Soc,

I'm employed full-time, earning the highest salary I've ever earned.  So, there's no current argument for imputing my income any higher.

From time to time, I earn extra income for consulting.  It's not a reliable income nor historically substantial (i.e., adds at most 5% to my annual income, but last year was zero percent).

If relevant, parties stipulated that I pay CS directly to my ex, not through the state.


1.  If I ramp up my consulting, in addition to keeping my full-time job, and if I have no predictor as to when I may get that extra income or with what frequency... would it be considered in any future CS modification?

2.  (separate scenario from question 1)  If I were to get a higher paying full-time job, what is my obligation to report the salary increase to my ex or to the court?  Is it legal to not report the increase until served with discovery or required to fill out an income/expense declaration on any future action?

Thanks,
DD

A 2-page motion to dismiss, to get your feedback?

I'd appreciate it.

DD

Soc,

Every holiday season, I seem to go through major problems with attempts to cancel exchanges.

Today, biomom left me voicemail and sent me email stating that she is canceling the exchange at 5pm due to daughter being "not well".  Daughter has had the tail end of a cold for a week, normal lingering cold symptoms (i.e., she was with me over the weekend and was a tad stuffy, but not bedridden and had normal energy).

According to biomom's email, she claims she called the doctor (but did not take child to the doctor), who supposedly told biomom that there "will be 10 more days of symptoms".  Based on this, biomom wrote that she "cannot make definitive plans" as to further exchanges or make-up time until she "sees how (child) is feeling" at those times.

Daughter missed school today, per my decision to give her one last day of rest/recuperation-- though if push came to shove, she probably could have made it.  I was supposed to have her back this evening in my care.

Court orders specifically state that I'm to pick up daughter "at 5pm on Mondays" and "at 5pm on Wednesdays".

So, there is no ambiguity in the orders as to either of these days unlike past problems on Fridays that state "after school" as the exchange time.

There are no orders addressing conditions warranting a cancelation of custodial exchange, and daughter was apparently well enough in the morning to handle an exchange to biomom.

I wrote biomom back, not wanting to appear ogre-ish, suggesting we could switch to Tues at 5pm.  I noted if she wouldn't agree, we'd stick with court orders for the Monday exchange.

With no agreement to change it, I showed up at 5pm for the exchange, called biomom to say I was here to pick up daughter, only got her machine.

Recall I did an unsuccessful attempt on contempt in April for denial of phone access (orders found to be too vague for contempt) and biomom arbitrarily telling me when to pick up daughter on Friday (orders found to be too vague for contempt).

Recall that judge has been annoyed with both sides.  In April, he commented while denying contempt that orders should be cleaned up due to being vague.  In May, I had an OSC heard to clarify orders on phone and Friday exchanges,  he got on my case that I'm nitpicking and denied everything.  In June, he spanked opposing counsel for baseless OSC to change custody.  We haven't been back since.

Per his orders, we completed the courthouse's Classes for Bad Parents, and it seemed to have only given biomom new ideas by skimming the "Do Not" behavior column.

Finally, I'm concerned that this is all a set-up to build to denying the exchange this Friday, which anti-Jewish biomom knows is the day of a very special event at temple (consecration) for daughter.

1.  Given the history, at what point would you suggest biomom's behavior is egregious enough that filing contempt is unlikely to result in judge peeved at me?

2.  Ever experienced that a judge finds minor cold symptoms to be reasonable cause to cancel a number of exchanges (as biomom is insinuating she'll be doing)?

3.  If Wednesday exchange is also denied (and daughter is presumably kept out of school by biomom all week for the charade), what are your thoughts on me noticing Ex Parte for Friday morning; asking for immediate exchange of custody (i.e., not CHANGE of custody, but rather compliance) to ensure my custodial weekend occurs so that I could A) take allegedly ailing daughter to pediatrician; B) take daughter to kindergarten (if well); and C) ensure that daughter can attend the important religious event that evening (if well) during my normally scheduled custodial time.

Or any other thoughts on how to respond to this latest for efficient resolution?

Thanks,

DD

Hi Soc,

In our orders in CA, it states that each party shall be responsible for one half of healthcare costs not covered by insurance.  It also makes reference that if either party requires reimbursement from the other party, it shall be pursuant to the terms of FC 4063 and payable within 30 days.

Over the past several years, biomom and I would send each other bills, circle the due amount, and write "Pay half".  We'd always pay the healthcare provider our respective shares directly, never reimbursing each other.

Since June 2005, biomom made significant use of our pediatrician for our daughter (i.e., every sniffle, go to the doctor).  Daughter is now beyond the "Well child care" program (no co-pays), so each office visit has a co-pay.

Between June and August, co-pays summed to $474.  I paid my half with each billing cycle, and I sent a copy of the bill to biomom, as always.

For reasons beyond my knowledge, biomom hasn't paid anything.  She currently owes $237, now 90 days past due (per doctor's recent invoice).

Biomom hasn't respond to my couple of email inquiries about the mounting balance due.

I know I could pay it, submit request for reimbursement, then drag her into court after 30 days.  I don't want to have to go to court over this, if there's another way.

My pressing issue is that MY name is on the doctor's bill, since daughter is covered by my plan.

Note:  I pay child support directly to biomom, twice monthly.

1. If I pay the balance owed, request reimbursement per 4063 (proof of payment), and advise biomom that she has 30 days to reimburse me, what's the worst that would happen to me if I then just deduct it from the first child support payment after 30 days?

I mean, if she tries to contempt me for nonpayment of support or raises it in the future, is a judge really going to slam me on this?

DD

Hi Soc,

Today was biomom's big hearing to modify custody and eliminate overnights in my home and drastically reduce my contact with child.

I owe you a huge THANKS most of all for warning me not to return to court anytime soon (even with merit) until well after our ordered parenting conflict classes (biomom filed for sole custody before they even began).

We started today with opposing counsel getting her butt reamed for filing this and fueling the on-going litigation.

From there, OC argued her distorted dribble about me, interrupted at one point with judge saying, "Yeah, yeah, I know you think Dad's all evil.  But you're not addressing how sole custody will change anything."

I just took notes on her 5 minute intro, I argued point by point.  Started by saying I got his message loud and clear a few months ago that he wanted us to work harder on resolving conflict ourselves, so I was surprised at this action that came before the conflict classes even started.  He agreed that that's what he wanted.  Judge listened to all my counterpoints without comment.

I think his mind was made up before we started, so I had the easy job today.

Within 10 minutes from start to finish, judge denied biomom everything she sought.  No discussion of my affirmative relief requested, and I didn't wanna push it so I just thanked him and skeedaddled.

So one question...

1. Can biomom go back and request sole custody again on the same platform as she just did (e.g., argued stronger)?  If something is dismissed (with no mention of whether it's with or without prejudice), does she get to argue it again some other time?  Or did she blow her shot until something else major happens?

And, once again, THANK YOU.  Big weight gone from my shoulders (until next time biomom hires a new attorney).

DD

Hi Soc,

In 2004, I took a polygraph to discredit a couple of the more serious allegations biomom has made about me.  I also included a couple of things about biomom (e.g., She told me she would find me and shoot me if I ever got custody.).

Biomom received the results and was asked about them in deposition.

She described her theory that I somehow tricked the test (i.e., I'm apparently so messed up to be able to do that) and that it explains nothing (i.e., her perceptions are still true).

I'd like to use her explanation for me passing a polygraph to speak to her obsession with finding fault with me and refusing to believe anything to the contrary; regardless of how any credible witnesses, evaluator, polygraph examiner, and judges have failed to agree with her theories/speculation.

Incidentally, one of the items I included on that polygraph is still resurrected in her current quest for sole custody.

1.  Is her REACTION to the polygraph results admissible as an exhibit to my declaration?

2.  If the same page of the deposition transcript (for the above item) also happens to review the actual polygraph items (each item was read aloud during the deposition), is that problematic?  I wouldn't make reference to this part in my declaration, but hey, they're right there on the same page in the transcript.

Thanks,
DD

Hi Soc,

Reminder - biomom filed for sole custody, based on nothing.

In my response, I'm hammering that biomom is increasingly struggling in her life, has significant mental issues that appear to be getting worse, and is having increasing difficulty providing stability for child.

I'm not only opposing the sole custody attempt, but I'm also requesting we now go to 50/50 a bit earlier than custody evaluator recommended to start in 2006.

I recently got preschool attendance records.  In May and June 2005, there were 36 days of preschool.  On 24 of the 36, biomom brought daughter more than 30 minutes late, or took her out more than an hour early, or had her absent altogether (i.e., absences were about half of these).

The preschool had the same schedule daily, with different activities within the schedule (e.g., art was always the same time, but new art on different days).

No other kid had to endure such craziness in constantly coming/going/missing things (i.e., the attendance records are actual copies of the sign-in/sign-out sheets I received from the school, showing biomom's signature along with other parents).

Biomom, in her pleadings, claimed that daughter is "always very cranky" and "anxious" in her home, though she concludes it's a result of me.  I've consistently declared (and continue to) that daughter thrives in my home, that I don't recognize the child biomom describes.

Preschool director has spoken candidly with me about biomom's issues, but always prefacing her comments as off the record because she doesn't want to get involved.  She let me make copies of the attendance records.

1.  I know preschool doesn't "count" in the court's eyes as mandatory, but would it be worthwhile to include in my response the recent attendance records?  I'd use it to help support my contention that the chaos and struggle in biomom's life prevents this child from having any predictability or routine; and biomom seems unaware that a young child needs those things.

Congrats on the recent wins you've seen vicariously through other posters!

:)

Hi Soc,

Reminder - ex has filed what you concluded was frivilous action seeking modification to sole custody, in addition to eliminating child's overnights in my home.

I haven't yet responded, so I still have the blank Responsive Declaration form (FL-320) to file with my response.

A) I don't think there are grounds for either side to modify custody, nothing has really changed since 9 months ago when final judgment was entered.

B) I've been putting together an evidence-based argument that instead of waiting until 2006 per 730 custody evaluator's recommendation to move to a true 50/50 schedule, it seems mother is having major problems with the current 35/65 schedule (per her declaration, she projects that all of her difficulties with daughter are a result of my home); that it's in daughter's best interest to move up to 50/50 today (instead of 2006) for her stability-- keeping joint/joint in place.  I also think requesting this in my response increases odds (who knows how much) that mother will withdraw her OSC prior to hearing... else, she has nothing to lose.

C) Not wanting to risk a new judge (if not transferred back) making a decision on false info, I'm responding point-by-point to every untrue allegation mother yet again makes about me.  I use her past testimony (especially deposition transcripts) and other convincing evidence to refute most of it.

D) My biggest goal is to not lose anything from the status quo, so I'm happy if everything gets tossed out at the OSC hearing.  I'm estatic if judge leans my way on modifying the parenting plan to increase my custodial timeshare in any amount.

As a result of B & C above, my declaration is currently a very apologetic 37 pages (seven sections) plus many exhibits-- all relevant info "to ensure the court is not swayed by the very disturbing but unfounded characterizations" the mother continually makes about me.  I've never submitted one this huge before.  I'm hoping that including all strong relevant info, witness declarations, and exhibits will protect me from any abuse of discretion.  

1.  Given my goals (either everything is dismissed or I walk away with something), what's the upside (if any) and downside (if any) to submitting such a long responsive declaration?

2.  In requesting affirmative relief (i.e., 50/50 and switching back to prior judge), where do I do that on FL-320?  Does the 50/50 get placed on the form under Visitation "Don't consent to order requested but consent to following?", or does it all go under #8 Other Relief?

Thanks,
DD

Hi Soc,

Recall-- Petitioner filed for change of custody with a new judge after final judgment less than a year ago.

My first crack:


MOTION TO TRANSFER PETITIONER'S OSC TO DEPT XX WITHIN (THIS COURTHOUSE)

ME, Respondent, respectfully moves that this action be transferred back to Dept XX within the (same courthouse) for reasons of judicial efficiency and unfair prejudice with grounds set forth below.

The Hon. Judge Firstname Lastname, presiding over Dept XX, was assigned this paternity case in May 2004 upon the resignation of the Hon. Judge Firstname Lastname who presided over Dept YY.

The Hon. Judge Firstname Lastname of Dept XX has heard numerous OSC matters involving this case, has reviewed the 120-page custody evaluator's report, has heard witnesses, and has made rulings as to the child's best interest.  

Judge Lastname most recently issued orders that Respondent and Petitioner are to attend Parenting Without Conflict classes that have yet to begin.  This did not prevent Petitioner from requesting - yet again - sole custody from a new judge.

To expect a new judge to gain the familiarity with the case to rule in a child's best interest on a request to change custody is a tremendous burden on the court.  It's also an unnecessary burden as Judge Firstname Lastname of Dept XX is still on the bench.

Finally, to give Petitioner an opportunity to "start over" with a new judicial officer to rule anew on testimony already heard before another department in the same courthouse is unfair prejudice.

For the grounds explained herein, Respondent moves that this court instruct Petitioner to file her most recent action in Dept XX.


1.  Can you please offer quick guidance?

2.  Also, would I file this at the same time as my response to the OSC?


Thanks,
DD

Soc,

Biomom just filed to modify custody so that she would have sole/sole and reasonable visitation to me.

For reasons unknown to me, it was filed in a new department before a new judge, not the one we've had for 1.5 years.

In 2003 and 2004, we had a 7-month 730 with a clinical psychologist.

He ultimately recommended joint/joint with a step-up to 50/50 in 2006.  My wife and I came out normal on psych testing, and biomom came out abnormally high on the "paranoid" scale of MMPI-2.  He also described that biomom has difficulties owning responsibility for her role in conflicts, that she has difficulties carrying out planning and organization for life events.

We signed settlement at time of trial in May 2004.  Judgment was entered Oct 2004, final per Montenegro.  Timeshare is currently 35/65.  Judge was asked to rule on custody, and he ruled joint/joint.

At no place in her paperwork does she address a change of circumstance.

Her reasons are the on-going conflict, that "she feels paralyzed at times" because of her anxiety knowing that whatever she says, she knows I'll oppose it.

She claims that I once read daughter a book called BUGS (a critically reviewed preschool favorite) that she thought was inappropriate.

She notes that when she recently refused to release daughter at an exchange, I made a police report.

She includes pages of assumptions about what happens in my home, no evidence.

She notes that I failed to notify her whether or not our daughter was sick one Sunday during my custodial time.

She claims that daughter repeatedly loses consciousness in my care.  No evidence.  Weird.

She wants to eliminate my overnights.  She claims daughter is anxiety-ridden due to spending time in my care.

My note:  she hasn't taken child to the child therapist since Aug 2004.

Her entire case is built upon speculation and hearsay.

The 730 evaluation is sealed, but she quotes directly from it in her declaration, taking some things out of context.

She provides no points and authorities.

95% of her testimony is related to events prior to final judgment, and nearly all of them are inaccurate.


1.  How dangerous is it if I continue to represent myself?

2.  What sort of defense do I need?  I can get witnessess to testify to my parenting skills, daughter's comfort with me, etc.

3.  How do I find out why my case has been moved?  The existing judge was hearing boatloads about her lack of cooperation, and I'll have to start all over again.

4.  Recall that we were recently ordered to Parenting Without Conflict.  Her OSC is for a date of the same week that course begins!  Any relevance?

Thanks,
DD

Hi Soc,

I found out yesterday that my daughter was baptized over the weekend with biomom's family (they all came into town, apparently).

Biomom has selected a Catholic private school (i.e., per the order that she could select and fully pay for whatever school she wants; after my OSC asking the court to rule on daughter's school).

Daughter never goes to church with biomom (biomom claims to be Catholic but hasn't practiced in the years I've known her).  But, there is a 25% tuition discount at the private school for children who are Catholic (i.e., baptized).  So it seems like this was more of a "tuition discount ceremony" than anything else.

We have joint/joint per court ruling, no primary established, and no language on religious decisions nor any language on including both parents in important events.

Per the orders, parents must only inform each other of school and medical appointments and both parents shall be allowed to attend.  So, that's completely irrelevant in this incident, but it protects me with staying involved in health and education stuff.

The reason why I found out about the baptism is because daughter asked me yesterday how come I didn't come to it-- more out of curiosity than feeling hurt.  All I could do is tell her that her mother must have forgotten to let me know about it, that I would have loved to have been there.

The baptism was more for the adults than the 5 year old, obviously, since it's daughter's perception that it was something she had to do for kindergarten (i.e., no knowledge of any religious meaning) and didn't really like it that much.

In the past, the same thing has happened with a ballet recital.  Biomom has her enrolled in ballet, and there was apparently a recital that I failed to attend because biomom never informed me.  Daughter brought it up back then too, and I was more disturbed then (more than I am over the baptism) because the recital was something that was important to HER.

While Catholocism isn't my faith, daughter does attend religious services regularly with my wife and I, so I'm fine with her exposure to spirituality and accept that she's gonna get the Catholic side of things from biomom.  I would have appreciated attending the baptism and helping her understand and celebrate what it was about.

You know my long-term goals... get at least 50/50 on the timeline that the evaluator recommended (summer of 2006), or go for a modification when appropriate with a good shot.

1.  I imagine that an evaluator or judge would look negatively on biomom's failure to inform me of important events in daughter's life (regardless of orders), but how would you recommend either using the information or acting on it, if either?

DD

Ok, Soc, through all your guidance, all the fires have been extinguished that I've been able to extinguish.  Even though I lost the contempt motion on all 19 counts, plus lost a couple of the matters on my OSC, biomom seems to have found new energies to cooperate-- maybe she's tired of her legal bills.

So, now I'm just settling in for the ride for a while.

We had final orders of May 2004 (via stipulation), judgment entered Oct 2004.

Custody evaluator (730 that went 7 months) at that time recommended the current schedule to which we stipulated, and then he recommended final step-up to 50/50 schedule after child turns 6 (in 2006).

We have joint/joint per court ruling, though my current timeshare is 35%.

The stipulated final orders do not contain the 50/50 clause... no way biomom was going to agree to it, we would have had a full-blown trial (and biomom was trying for a move-away at that time, despite that evaluator said move-away would be bad for child).

Some things that will be happening after those final orders:

A) Child starts kindergarten this fall.

B) My wife and I are planning to have a child in 2006 (my daughter has no other siblings, and her only child-aged cousins are all on my side).  After the birth we're going to have a parent home at all times (flex schedules + reduced home budget for a couple years).  Daughter is excited to help take care of a baby, keeps asking stepmom (in her life since 2001) when baby will come since daughter says biomom doesn't want another baby.

C) In summer of 2006, each parent will get 3 consecutive weeks summer vacation (i.e., showing that child can handle significant time in either home).


1.  With the above scenario, particularly the evaluator's original recommendation to go to 50/50 in 2006; do you see any opportunity to modify visitation (not custody)?

2.  In modifying visitation, is the burden still to show "What's wrong with status quo" vs. showing "Yeah, I think that change would be good for the kid"?

3.  Short of biomom royally screwing up, any other approaches to have any decent shot at increasing custodial timeshare at some point?

Thanks,
DD

Hi Soc,

Recall that biomom's attorney was ordered by the court to get me a findings and orders after hearing within 7 days (of the hearing).

I did receive that from the attorney's paralegal (i.e., correspondence signed by her), and I sent back correspondence to the paralegal (who requested that I respond to HER) with an objection to one of the clauses as not accurately reflecting the court's order.  I proposed my own language for the clause, and said with that change I'm in agreement to everything else.

It's been two weeks since I sent that back.  I recently got a notice of unavailability from the attorney, saying she'll be out the first half of July.

I'm a little bit paranoid because I've previously been screwed by a judgment that was entered because my attorney failed to object timely, and I'm wondering if there's anything I'm missing now that is again gonna blow.

Additionally, this current attorney previously stood in front of the court and lied about her vigorous attempts to settle with me (i.e., when she refused any/all of my attempts to settle; complete silence from her), so I want to make sure I'm protecting myself in case she sends communication and/or the orders to the court without actually serving me (i.e., though submitting proof of mail service with her papers to the court) to prevent me from objecting timely.

1.  Is there a time limit for attorney to send a newly proposed findings and orders after hearing once I object to them?

2.  At what point should I send correspondence to attorney, outlining that I'm awaiting the corrected findings and orders?

3.  Though maybe not proper, should I cc the court on the correspondence from #2?

Thanks,
DD

I am working with my wife's attorney today on temp/perm parenting plan issues and right now the sticker is transportation.

My wife moved 550 miles away and I am requesting receiving parent picks up and she wants to meet half way.

This might sound trite but if I agree to meet half way, I am pretty much locked into driving.  If it's receiving parent picks up, we can each decide the mode of transportation.

The attorney told me that he is VERY confident that any judge would order meeting half way instead of receiving parent picks up.

What are your thoughts?


AS I WAS TYPING THIS MY SON CALLED!!!!!  He told me he has missed me and he wants me to come get him "RIGHT NOW" so he can stay the night with me!!!!!

Hi Soc,

Opposing attorney was ordered to draft the orders of the OSC.  Court dismissed two of my requests, granted one, ordered us to the parenting conflict class, and ordered biomom to select school (with restrictions).

In the proposed findings and orders after hearing that attorney sent me:

A) Outlines that court dismissed the two points of relief I had requested but didn't get.

B) Accurately reflects orders for parenting conflict class

C) Accurately reflects language I requested for summer vacation

D) Inaccurately reflects what was ordered on school.

On school, judge stated that mother must consult with me first before she selects a school (yeah, I know that the "consultation" has as much weight as a hummingbird tailfeather) and that if mother does not pick the public school in her neighborhood, her school selection must be within 10 miles of my home.

Proposed orders state that the school selection must be within 10 miles of mother's residence, and if not, mother will confer with me before selecting such school.

Mother and I live 5 miles apart, btw, and my work is 1/2 mile from her home.  If relevant, we live in a high density area, with many dozens of school choices in a 10 mile circle.

I'm writing attorney to object to the language on school, in that the judge CLEARLY said her choice must be within 10 miles of MY home and judge made no room for exception (i.e., judge never said the 10 mile limit can be crossed after mother simply confers with me).

I'm offering instead to have orders "...within 10 miles of father's home, unless by other written agreement between parties".

1.  Do I have grounds to be a hard-arse on following the letter of what the judge stated (i.e., within 10 miles NO EXCEPTION STATED), or is it common that orders after hearing often contain attorneys attempts to soften the blow to their client; which get entered anyway?

2.  Is the 10 mile rule any nominal protection to throw an additional wrench into slowing down a move-away attempt?

3.  Is it customary that findings and orders after hearing would document what was dismissed too?

Thanks,
DD

Soc,

Her attorney argued 10% merit and 90% defamation about me.  She's been on the case 6 weeks, refused to communicate with me at all to resolve issues.  She told the judge I'm harassing, bullying, worst person she's had to deal with in 30 years, control-freak, and a bunch of other stuff... just unfounded rhetoric.  I'm sick of it.

She gave the example that my demand for phone access between 5pm and 7pm perfectly exemplifies my controlling nature.

I defended myself, saying all of it was untrue, court can review the evidence as to my on-going attempts to reasonably settle matters with Petitioner and her attorney, advising the court that no evidence they submitted shows it, the custody evaluator didn't agree with that characterization, and it's all irrelevant anyway.

I primarily outlined the constant problems with interpreting summer vacation, Friday exchanges (i.e., pick up at school, else 5pm if no school), and not being able to reach my daughter by phone.

I emphasized that we just need tighter language so both parents are clear on how to follow them.

I told the court that if it found my language unreasonable, to use discretion to clarify orders so that both parties clearly understand what we're supposed to do.... because it's not good for anyone to have this much chaos and conflict.

A) On school selection, judge said that he doesn't pick schools, he picks parents to pick schools.  He picked mother, specifying that if she picks a private school, she's responsible for costs and it must be within 10 miles of my residence.  Crap, but oh well.  It's done.

B)  On his own motion, Judge ordered us to go through Parenting Without Conflict.  Biomom is the source of conflict, even as identified largely by the evaluator.  Two co-parenting therapists couldn't help us.  But more hoops.  Whatever, I'll do it.

C) Summer vacation clarification was granted per my request, with one caveat.  Good.  At least that's done, locked airtight now.

D) On Friday exchanges and phone access.   Judge said that we'll never stop fighting no matter what he orders, and he's not going to hear anything more and will dismiss those.  His speculation is unfounded and arguably incorrect-- as ALL the other parts of the judgment that are TIGHT and CLEAR have resulted in COMPLETE elimination of ANY conflict on those issues (i.e., remove all wiggle-room, and we seem to have peace... arguably best for our daughter).  But, I didn't think to mention all that before the court today.

E) Also, on April 29 when court dismissed contempt over a Friday exchange, the judge stated on record and with no uncertainty that we "need to clean up the language"  on Friday exchanges because it's causing problems.  So I move to do that, and he dismisses it.  WTF?  I didn't think to mention this today, but it dawned on me later.

After his ruling, I still tried to ask how to proceed when we interpret orders differently.  He didn't want to hear anything more.  Said I can appeal, but that's his ruling.

On the request to clarify orders, I'm still so frustrated.  All biomom's attorneys do EVERY TIME is use inflammatory rhetoric and adjectives, with no evidence, and it's enough to convince the judge that both sides are causing problems when I'm just trying to follow orders (else get them so tight as to limit room for conflict).  Of all the allegations in past 4 years, not a single one has been about me attempting to defy orders (which is my primary complaint about biomom).

1.  I clearly outlined the on-going problems (many months now) in my pleadings.  On Friday exchanges and phone access.... what the hell am I supposed to do now?  Live with the on-going problems and accept that the court thinks it's best for this conflict and chaos to continue due to parties interpreting the orders differently?!

2.  Why the heck is the judge saying on April 29 (on record) that orders on Friday exchanges need to be cleaned up, but then a month later, he dismisses my OSC to clarify language on Friday exchanges (and a couple other issues)?  How am I to proceed when judge suggests one thing and 4 weeks later rejects my attempt to get orders based upon his suggestion?!

DD

Okay, got the responsive declaration re clarified orders.

A) She says how litigious and harassing I am, offering evidence that I wrote her attorney 4 times in past month (yeah, trying to settle), outlining that in the past 2 months, I've done OSC for contempt (and lost), school selection, and now all the order clarifications.

B) She introduces (yet again) 2002 declaration from a former employer (multiple convicted criminal and social extremist) of mine who vowed vengeance against me when I left his organization in 1999.  I resigned, citing that we simply had different approaches to running the organization (I was Director, he was President of the Board and a wacko).  His declaration calls me a rage-filled woman hater, an overly litigious person (huh?), an unethical business person, and a person devoid of compassion because he found out that I had to find a home for my elderly dog (due to growling at my daughter).  Custody evaluator's report dismissed the credibility of this same declaration.

C) She says that she has pulled daughter out of preschool on Fridays so she can attend ballet class (nothing to do with attempt to frustrate Friday exchanges), and I'm an awful father to want to prevent daughter's ballet class (though I already declared that I could take daugther to ballet on Friday).

D) She concocted a word-processed log, showing all the alleged dates that I talked to daughter by phone.  Totally fraudulent document.  It's now he-said-she-said on this, but if she's so cooperative, I'd ask why not just agree to clarify how telephone contact works (i.e., 5pm to 7pm, make child available).

E) She declared she'll agree to "uninterrupted" 2 weeks summer vacation if she can also have the week prior to school start (i.e., she wants 3 weeks' vacation).  The orders say, "uninterrupted", so I'm just asking court to clarify it's a mandate, not an option.

School is being decided same day in court, so I want to maintain some credibility on that.  I've argued merits with objective measures (distance, cost, standardized tests, state rank, after-school enrichment, etc).  She's mostly relied on "private schools are better than public schools, so his position is ridiculous" as her primary argument along with all of her feelings about how she knows what's best for child.


1.  Worth replying to any of it via a Reply Declaration?  I know you've previously said Reply Decs aren't customary, but all three lawyers I've had in my jurisdiction did them as a matter of routine.

2.  I can get my employer of 3 years to write a dec saying I'm a wonderful person, a great employee.  Think the court will care about that other dec from a prior employer I had prior to child's birth?

3.  I have a declaration from a prior attorney that describes mother as one of the most difficult people she's ever had to negotiate with, that mother refused to agree even to standard clauses that are pre-printed on stip forms, claiming it was all my way to control her.  Relevant to submit?

4.  Custody evaluator report described mother's psychological issues (some abnormalities, difficulty with on-going conflict, refusal to accept responsibility for her problems); but obviously not bad enough to lose custody.  Relevant to mention per my recollection (i.e., report is sealed)?

Any other thoughts?

Thanks,
DD