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Well, court was rescheduled again. We don't have a date yet though. Something fishy is going on. Our attorney set the court date for today for modification of visitation. She sent a copy to us, the court clerk, and the judge. We hadn't heard a thing from the other attorney until she came to our work Tuesday for the pay stubs. So today we all get to court and find out that what is set for today is for the child support and does not even mention the visitation. So our attorney's tell the judge what happened and he says to reschedule because he doesn't want to hear it twice. I seriously think her attorney went to the clerk and had them change the papers to reflect the child support. We sure didn't get a notice to be in court from her, nor did our attorney. Her attorney is buddy buddy with all the court house officials.
Anyway, we are to be rescheduled and we are pissed and uncomfortable with what we heard today. Our attorney told the judge we were asking for two more nights and he asked if the mother was agreeing. The attorney said no and he said that what was court ordered was a bare minimum and that she could give him extra but the dad needed to "Ante up". So pretty much he is saying she has the power to give us extra time but the dad needs to just pay her money and accept it.

We also know that even with 50/50 we will still be paying the same amount of child support PLUS insurance. SHE gets to claim him every year on taxes. So what the heck is the incentive for the mother to get a good job when she knows he will have to support her for 16 more years, or longer? This is what our attorney is telling us. It's like she doesn't even want to fight for what we want, she is just laying down and taking it like a dog being kicked. A dog would put up more of a fight. IT is like we are being punished for making more money, for wanting more time with DS. She is being rewarded for being a witch. It makes me so sick.

We are just so frustrated with the unfairness of the situation. I am really wanting to start writing some legislators or someone. Does anyone have any names or advice? I may be one person but if I can make any effort it will be worthwhile. I want to get active in the fight for equal rights for fathers but I have no idea where to start.

There is so much that needs changed in the laws isn't there? I mean, if each parent has the child equal time then why shouldn't they split the tax claim? Makes no sense to me. Oh well.....Thanks for the reply. I will update tomorrow after court.

Our attorney told us that it is TN state law that if you make more than the cp and pay child support that the cp gets to claim every year on taxes? Does anyone know if this is really true or if it is okay for the judge to order it split? We are asking for the every other year tax claim. If we get split 50/50 then why shouldn't he be able to claim too?
I tell ya, it seems like in the system, the less you make, the better off you are. If this is true, no wonder mom's stay on welfare and get minimum wage jobs.

We go to court Thursday. Haven't heard a peep from BM or anything, which has been great. Usually it's a screaming and crying fest. A few months ago her attorney asked our for proof of income on DH for the cs modification. She sent it. He is on salary, so his income doesn't change. Well, today the attorney came in to the front office at work and had a letter from the county clerk signed, asking for more proof of income. DH told her that she got it a few months ago and she had the balls to tell him in front of the front office staff and his father (Family owned business) that she thought he was "Low balling" her. Wow. DH was beyond upset and told her that when she saw the paperwork she owed him an apology. Well, he didn't get one. The papers showed exactly what the last one did. Same income.

Now we feel like they have something up their sleeve for court. There is nothing they can use or say that isn't going to be a lie but still, now we have that uneasiness.

Hurry up Thursday.

I was going to mention doing the threat with legal action thing as well. Is there a way DH can get the phones and block his number without the kids or BM even knowing?

We go to court this coming Tuesday and I will let you all know happens. Thanks for all the comments and advice.

I guess I look at it differently maybe. Maybe I'm wrong. Right now SS is on TNcare. Let's assume with DH getting the insurance that TNcare is going to pay all copays and what is left over. That leaves dad paying 50 a week for pretty much nothing (his insurance would never be used really). Mom is getting off scottfree not having to pay anything medical. Since mom "demands" that he stay on TNCare, why not just leave him there and have the judge order it that way (that is how it was in MY case previously)?

I just can't see DH paying all that money for insurance that isn't going to be used.

Thanks everyone. I will have him check in to it. He prefers to take it out on him actually but it hasn't happened. Maybe he should call the state tomorrow and see what they think. I just hate to think he would pay the extra 50 a week and then it not even get used. So, if he did, would mom still be responsible for the co pays or would tenncare pick that up?

Last October when we went to court and got all the child support set and all he did get a letter from the state saying he was being required to carry insurance. They were supposed to send a letter to his employer telling them how and all but the employer never received anything. He told the bm about it and she went ballistic. I'm not sure if she called and said something or had it changed or what happened but nothing else was ever done about it.

i have a question. We live in TN. Mom isn't working and when she does it's minimum wage jobs, which makes SS eligible for Tenncare insurance indefinitely. DH is debating on asking the judge to order him put on his work insurance when we go back to court. IF he gets put on his insurance can she still get Tenncare and use it before she uses the paid insurance?

I am just wondering what the point of him paying an extra 50.00 a week for it if she can just use the state insurance first. If she can, she would never need the paid insurance, which means DH is wasting money. Mom is adamant that dad not put him on his insurance because she knows it means she pays all co pays and they split evenly anything not covered.

Anyone know anything about this?

Also, I was wondering how far fetched it would be to ask that if either parent is unemployed and can't file income tax that the working parent gets to claim the child regardless of who's year it is. (We are going to be asking for every other year when we go back). She hasn't worked most of this year and I am not sure if she intends to or not. However, if she loses the cs I can't imagine how she can't work.

We go back to court in a couple of weeks and we are hopeful....