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Messages - fight4him

#41
Second Families / Re: Roles of step parents
Feb 22, 2011, 09:02:08 AM
I agree with Gemini. I am the step-parent. Technically we aren't married yet but are planning it in the next year or two. I have been in my SS life since he was born. They were never together as a couple, just a 2 week relationship that ended in a pregnancy. But he is such a blessing and as much stress as BM has caused us, we couldn't imagine life without him. His father loves him so much but he's not as "hand's on" as I am. I am the one who cleans him up, bathes him, teaches him to brush his teeth, how to shower, what manners are, etc. Sure, dad does these things when asked or when needed but mostly it falls on me and I gladly accept responsibility. I read him his bedtime story and put him to bed. I cherish these times with him. My mother calls him her grandson. My sister calls him her nephew. There is no difference in him and my real son. I know he's not my "son" but to me, he is just as much mine as he could be. I do not, and will not, ever try to take BM's place. But I do have a place in his life. We get along and speak but we aren't friends. She blew that herself. I was willing but I can't forgive now. I haven't had to take him to a doctor appointment yet but if need be, I would. I would have dad give her a call afterwards, not me.

Now BM is very threatened by me. Always has been, although it has gotten better since she got a bf. I just cant' imagine though, that he doesn't help her. We aren't threatened by him helping or watching him or taking him to the doctor or whatever he felt he needed to do. But she doesn't look at it like this. I guess she is "territorial" about it. She even had her attorney send ours a letter stating she didn't want me to bring him out to her and that dad needed reminding that the visitation is for HIM and not me. lol Does she seriously think I just sit around and ignore the baby and stay our of his life or something? How could anyone do that?

I don't know....no point to my rambling I guess....just wanted to chime in. I think many times the step-parent is made to feel like they are nothing when in fact they play such a huge role, as seen on this message board.