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Thank You kitty C

No he didn't file for a parenting plan, this is all just child support through the AG that I started.  He is bringing his lawyer to so he can get his way in mediation or court, which ever it comes to because I filed for asult against him today.

this is what i already have mapped out:   
I have sole custody of ____.  Dad's visitation would be sched tues and thursdays every single week from 6 pm-8 pm. Visitations are supervised for the first 30 visits, than away with dad for those 2 hours on tues and thursdays. Visits will also take place every OTHER weekend. Sched. for every other weekend would be saturday from 3pm -6pm and on sunday from 8am-6pm. Supervised visits must be completed before the weekend visits take place.  No over nights with dad till Tyler is 3 yro according to texas child custody law, than will switch to standard visitation sched once ____ is 3 years old.

I have all this mapped out around his work times.  He works 13 days, than off one day, than 13 days, off one day ... repeat ... He has off every other sunday and gets off at 2pm on saturdays. I just don't know what to do, or how safe I feel with this now.  My son has been alive for 52 days, he has only seen him 5 times.  He makes lame excuses though right now he had eye surgery and is having complications so, I guess he has reason.  But he called me white trash which is why he doesn't want my son to have my last name so he is going to fight for that. He wants his son to have a Mexican last name.  Also he said what he wants really is to 1. be on the b/c and 2. for my son to have his last name and 3. to have visits which i told him DUH you don't NEED a lawyer for that.  The AG does it all.  But like I said he is going to request an actual DNA test which is fine by me because it just makes the process take like an aditional few months.  His loss.   Im just scared to call his lawyers office.  I just don't want him to know I'm calling.  I'm so scared of him, i dont know what to do. I hope something comes out of this assult report.

Also is it true they can force you to bring the child to the fathers house for visitation days? He told me that when it's his time to visit with his son, I will have to bring my son to him on all those days at that exact time and then pick him up. IS that right? that's not right, nor fair.  It's his dad's visiting days HE should have to come pick up his son, PLUS he lives over 30 minutes away!!!!

For those who remember me asking in here about visitation/custody ect when I was pregnant this is what is going on that I need help with now, for those who don't, or need to go back here is my link http://deltabravo.net/forum/index.php/topic,38441.0.html (http://deltabravo.net/forum/index.php/topic,38441.0.html)

I got so much great help but now I am stuck in a delema that I am not sure where to turn.

My son was born that March.  Father did not show up so that eased things a lot.  I didn't hear from him at all with his threats in getting a lawyer like I had said.  I did notify him at the time baby was born.  He did not show, i was in the hospital for 2 days.  Finally the day after i was home he had came to visit.  I had my parents home so I wasn't afraidto be a lone with him.  He didnt really do much but stare at the baby and act happy.  THings seemed to be ok.  He wanted to take me out with the baby to chickie cheese so we did.  We talked calm and rationally so i suppose things went ok for a month. 

Now that i filed for child support, he has thrown his hands in the air and is now back to calling me names, ect but does this over the phone.  I had gotten a recorder but when he called and the whole time we were talking on the phone, i was looking for the tape to record it all on but I couldn't find it.  I had gone down to the Family Justice Center here in texas and tried to file a PO.  Since it was all hearsay and I didn't press charges when he hit me in sept, they couldn't do anything but said I still had time to file under 2 years. 

He wants to take the baby away again, he's back to his threats.  He's NOT on the b/c so i know he can't just up and take him.  He said that in CS medication him and his laywer (which he said he is bringing) is going to request DNA (which is fine with me if that's how he feels).  He also says his lawyer can tear me apart during mediation.  I'm going to file an affidavit with the attorney generals office due to the history of family violence.  I dont' want my son staying with adam till he is OVER the age of 3.  I'm worried about visits because of the violence, I don't know what to do.

Today I finally made an assult report with the police.  I'm going to sign the affidavit with child support but if he has his lawyer, what will happen?  I can't afford a lawyer.  I Tried to apply for legal aid but since i live under my moms roof they go by her income and well, now i don't qualify.  SO im scared, i don't know what to do.  I'm scared of my sons dad that he will either 1. hurt me again 2. take my son away in court because i am defense less 3. continue to call me all kinds of names if no assult charges are pressed because i reported too long. ? Plus we were civil for a little while after the pregnancy.

help!

I hope someone see's this lol I didn't want to make a new post...

First off I went down to the DA office and spoke to them about getting a possible PO against him for prior harrassment, ect so I am waiting on that...

Also I had someone metion to me that during the time I am pregnant till the baby is born, he can attempt to build a case against me?  Like I said, I can't think of anything that would declare me unfit and I am probablly over worrying myself, but I keep thinking he can build some kind of made up case against me with false accustations and as soon as the baby is born, my son is taken away.  I know, i'm over worrying.  Is this possible? He would really have to invest time and money into a lawyer though... I'm just checking because i'm over worrying... i need to feel better and keep reminding myself he has nothing against me...it's just his past "im going to take the baby" threats that scare me.

thanks!!!

If that's the sced. I want, I can enforce it stating I don't want him staying the night till his is 3?  I heard of that law here, but it's strange though because my friends, people I know how have gone to file for CS through the state AG, they get standard visitation, even with the baby being 4-5 months. Im assuming they have agreed though and CS doesn't do much anyways cause it's not their dept to listen to parents argure, ect.

I'm just going to wait till he makes the first move. I will call for legal assistance around the city, i don't know what my chances are for legal aid... I don't work.  I figured you had to have some "big" case for them to pay attention.

Thanks ocean, you really have made me feel a lot better with your information.  I just have to keep reminding myself I do hold all the cards right now and it's all going to work out.  I'm just so nervous

lol i can't see myself acting like a lawyer haha.  He makes me too nervous and scared, plus I do have anxiety and I wouldn't be suprised if he tried to use that against me.

I don't care if he gets standard visitation after a few supervised visits are done, ect.  I'm not 100% keeping the baby ... just not 50/50 or him taking full custody of the baby.  So i'm affraid if I don't have a lawyer he will win custody, I loose my son.  I don't know how all this stuff works.

I won't agree to anything, especially if it's outside of court.  I honestly don't know what he is trying to accomplish.  I can't say im perfect cause I've prolly said a few things in the past to piss him off.  I just tell him what I have planned for the baby because he has NOT helped in any decission making so I've been doing it all on my own and because I didn't want him in the hospital room when I give birth, he gets upset.  Than i had a false alarm last week and because I didn't tell him he is all upset.  He thinks that I think that I don't need a father around and all i care about is child support.  oh well !!!! We will see.  I'm just nervous because I want to enjoy my time with my son ... not be worrying about when I am going to get served, how I will find a lawyer or even afford one, ect.

I like in texas btw.

THanks so much ocean, it's greatly appreciated.  I have a lot of faith he can't do much, he has nothing against me, i've raised my own 4 1/2 year old DD on my own since she was a baby, I have held stable jobs, no arrest history, violent history or CPS history.  Never had a run in with police, no drug use ... nothing. Maybe just bad credit!

Can he though get a lawyer BEFORE baby is born? aka lawyer contacts me before baby is born, ect.

I told him once he told me that i better get a lawyer, ect, to please not contact me anymore, he can speak to my lawyer.  So I don't plan on speaking to him at all, not even advising him when the baby is born. Nothing.

Also, what happens if i DON'T get a lawyer? Would he get what he wants? Can he get full custody of the baby if he starts throwing all kinds of accusations out, ect? I'm just curious.  I'm just affraid I won't get the help I need and you know how some parents will make false accusations and if the other parent doesn't have a lawyer to proove the accusing parent wrong, they are screwed?

I'm ignorning him and I am not provoking him at all ... he randomly texts me because I don't talk to him all the time telling me i better get a lawyer, ect.  Which is fine i mean, i knew he was going to act this way.  My thing is, how do I afford a lawyer? LOL I've checked around and most want just a 3500 retainer! I can't afford that! I'm a single mom, I'm on bed rest, I don't have a job right now.

So assuming he gets a lawyer, i take the advice that was given as to, if he's not on the b/c he has to petition the court for DNA.  which now he wants to sit here and say he doubts now that he's the father. I can't believe he's saying this stuff.  Oh well.  Any help would be nice on where I can afford to get a lawyer.  I don't plan on taking his rights away just stating my case and keeping him from taking the baby.

What can he get? if he takes me to court for 50/50, can he get it? Anyone have experience in this??? most importantly can he take me to court BEFORE the baby is born? im 36wks, due on 4/1.

THanks!

I didn't know if i should post a new topic on this but I have been concerned ...


Yes I plan to give the father visitation and I know this may sound selfish, but I do not want him visiting in the comfort of my own home.  I live with my mom and step dad ever since I moved out.  He expects me to let him in the door whenever he wants.  I don't want to be alone with him in the house, i'm too scared he's going to try and have sex with me or something.  I know him and I know how he is.  I would rather him have visitation time away from my house... but how do I do that without him "assuming" i am keeping him away from the baby?  Another reason why I don't want him in my house is because he is always asking me how my daughter is doing, buying her things and telling me how much he misses her and that he would love to have her spend time with him when the baby is born.  I'm sorry but that bothers me.  I ask him to please stop, he knows she doesn't like him and it makes me feel uncomfortable.  He has this thing about taking on kids and wanting kids to like him .... I don't know what to make of that ... but I don't want my daughter around him because she does not care for him and it's NOT my doing.  She's almost 5 and has a strange view point of him.  She has nothing nice to say about him.  All she tells people is he was mean to her mommy, he hit her mommy and he yells at her mommy so she does not like him. (please don't assume I encouraged this.  When we all lived together, she heard it all.  She knows he hit me because a couple nights before she saw the bruise on my arm and I told her he did, i wasn't going to lie.  That's when I left.) 

I don't know what to do, I don't want him to visit over at my house and since I mentioned I am going to be breast feeding, the baby is not going to be a lone or stay the night with him for a while, also because of his threats to take the baby.  Once child support court orders visitation and I have it documented that I am the CP, than he can take the baby a lone.  I'm just scared in the mean time.  I don't want him thinking im trying to keep the baby away ... im trying to make this peaceful.

What can I do though as far as him leaving my daughter alone? He doesn't seem to want to listen that he is not apart of her life anymore.  (and no he is not the father in case your wondering.)  And what the heck can i do to avoid being a lone with him, i'm seriously scared but how do i get anyone to listen?

Thank you all that really does help, I just wish I could have a peice of mind ... i'm worrying myself over stupid little things.  I hate being manipulated and in fear that he's going to try and take our son away.

Is it possible for him to get a lawyer and have one hired already even though he has no proof for that said lawyer that he's the father, ect.  I don't plan on putting him on the b/c till i get documentation that I am the custodial parent, being that he's threatened to take the baby and run off. Does the baby need to be born for him to get a lawyer?