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Messages - mistyme

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General Issues / Looking for advise
« on: Feb 21, 2011, 05:47:51 PM »
I am going to have our baby next month, I have absolutely no intentions of keeping the baby out of his life completely, but because of the mental abuse, physical abuse he put me through and the manipulation he continues to throw on me, it will take a while to trust him until the child can speak for himself when he comes home from seeing his dad.  Right now, all i care for is "supervised".  I absolutly can not 100% afford a lawyer so I will let the state child support take care of what they can.

Right now, I feel so smothered by him and I'm worried about what things will be like after the baby is born because he refuses to respect me.  He says that he's going to come and see the baby whenever he pleases at my house and can stay as long as he wants and if i ask him to leave he will just call the police.  I don't mind him "visiting" a few times a week, a few hours or what not a day, but if I would like him to leave, he needs to leave.  He can't understand that we aren't a family anymore.  He ruined all that.  I went into early labor last week and didn't tell him.  He yelled at me because i didn't tell him.  I told him that i will contact him when the baby arives and he can visit for a few hours in the hospital.  Again, he yells at me because he thinks I'm trying to keep him away from his son because I don't want him in the room when I give birth.  I'm sorry but again, that is a private moment to ME, it's my body I am giving birth not him.  He also says that if I don't move back in with him than he won't help out with the baby (aka give me things for the baby, he just keeps it all at his house and also threatens to take the baby too under NO grounds does he have that I am a bad unfit mother.) ... He has a son already of his own that he gets standard visitation and he just lets his son come over, sit in front of the TV, eat junk food.  His son never brushes his teeth the whole weekend, he won't change his sons clothes because he feels his mom should provide all the clothing and he goes home in the same clothes.  His son goes back and forth saying his dad hits him to his mom, but than he tells his dad that his mom hits him.  His son is 6 and weighs 105lbs, no one takes care of him.  Anyways this is just a SMALL explanation of why I do not TRUST him with my son on the way and why i want supervised visitation ...

It's just all of this and that and the fact he's manipulating me.  I'm so affraid he will get a lawyer and win 50/50 because he knows I can not afford it at all.  He won't help out with the baby, he yells at me because I won't let him be in the room when i give birth, he demands that he's going to be at my house all the time and i have no say so and he can come and go when he wants.  And because I won't move back in, he puts me down. If i tell him no to ANYTHING he thinks im trying to keep the baby away from him which I am not! if i wanted to, i would of taken off by now!

I never called the police for the physical abuse, but I do have 2 pictures i took where he hit me one night. would that be of any help?

(also this is an off side note, but i heard he was reported to the IRS for tax fraud. He claims 2 kids from mexico that aren't his and he doesn't know them ... he uses the money to his benefit and gives the family $500.  Reason why I am asking is because I heard the penalties for this can be harsh ... would that in anyway affect his "rights" as a father.  Just so if it happens, I guess i can be more educated about it?)

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