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Messages - allforher

#31
Custody Issues / Re: do I take action?
Mar 16, 2011, 12:26:06 PM
well, she is very unhappy right now with the amount of time even thought its week on week off.  He got a new job and its very time consuming, especially on the weekends.  She is 10 btw.  He wasn't an active parent till she was 5, then just in 2009 he began to be able to provide for her.
#32
Custody Issues / do I take action?
Mar 16, 2011, 12:17:19 PM
Hello   I am currently in a sticky situation with my daughters father.  Let me give a brief history.  We were never married, barely had a relationship and had a child together.  When she was born he was not involved, I was asked to have him sign over his rights by his family due to his Bipolar Disorder.  I declined due to my overwhelming desire for my child to know her father since I did not know mine(due to mental illness), can you believe that!  What are the odds?  Anyway, I got no child support or financial help for about 18 months, he was in and out of our lives. Although, our child had regular visitation at his mothers home, where she was mostly in charge and he came and went.  We tried to have a relationship again when our daughter was about 6 months old, that lasted 3 months or less before it ended dramatically with the cops being called to the home.  I moved to another city for training/work purposes and he still did not help.  I pursued CS in court and agreed to joint custody due to a threat made by him to use his mothers money in court to battle me. 

Finally, he went to prison I got remarried and moved out of state.  She visited his parents regularly until she began school, then it went to summer and holidays/breaks.  WE now live back in the same state.

Our visitation schedule is verbal, it started with his time being Thurs. to Sun. every week.  I stopped CS collection to be nice since we almost shared time evenly.  I eventually asked for pick up on Sunday mornings because we had no weekend time with her and we went to church.  The first summer we spent here I was pushed an persuaded to enter into a week on week off schedule, mind you after a summer of fighting and rediculous behavior between us both.  Not gonna just blame him here.  Anyway, I declined and didn't think it would be in her best interest because of the unstable relationship between me and her dad.  I have been verbally abused by him on the phone and through email since we have moved here.  I do not attack him or the things he does in his own life but he does attack me.  For example, he quit his job or got fired, and lost our daughters insurance, he never told me.  I found out through our child.  He moved in a strange man to help him out and never told me, never gave me his name, nothing.  I never said a word to him at the time.  So, we tried therapy...it failed.  I am still being verbally abused and he is discussing issues and things with out daughter.  he makes sure she knows his discontent with me.  I am currently in my own therapy to try and deal with him 
What do I do?  Oh and stupid me finally after being beaten down agreed to try week on week off.. what a nightmare!  I can't even fart without him up my butt! Seriously!
I want to stop the week on week off so it goes back to a primary caretaker type role for me.  I still want our daughter to spend time with him but I don't believe this schedule is in her best interest.  Maybe if there was assemblance of civilness but there isn't.  I truly believe his mental condition aids in the failing of our coparenting.  I just don't want to hurt our daughter and I want them to spend time together.  I just don't think he and I can have joint custody anymore, uggg what to do!  Sorry, not so brief huh?