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Messages - forthekids24

#51
General Issues / Hang in there!!
Jan 09, 2004, 12:07:07 PM
You, your DS and SS (don't forget him) are all in my prayers.

This is going to be hard on all 3 of you.  You are doing the right thing in my book, abuse is not to be tolerated ever! Emotional, Physical, Nothing!!

As for the Petition, check our your county web site (I remember you saying you are from a small town)  they should have forms for you.  If not, check your local library.  I found a book in the library that had everything I needed to do my own divorce.  In fact I think that is what the book was called "Do your own divorce".

Take Care, keep your chin up!!

Lots of prayers your way!!
FTK

#52
Second Families / Thank you everyone!!
Dec 14, 2007, 01:19:55 PM
Wow!  Great feedback.

Lots of things to think about, and discuss with DH.

I want to protect OSD and make sure she isn't put in a situation where BM is trying to take advantage of her.

Definately will be our car that she gets to use, now just to discuss with DH and make sure we are on the same page that the car will not go to BM's house.

Thanks again!
FTK
#53
Here they can drive with siblings in the car before their 17th birthday if they have their parents permission AND if it is a necessity.  Helping the family... to and from school, to dr appointments etc.  

BM isn't one to follow the laws so we suspect she will want OSD to start doing the visitation transportation in addition to caring for her 1 year old sibling.

I am just really worried that BM or the older sister will try to drive the car, or something will happen and they will try to sue DH and I.

I agree, 50 miles is a long way to drive just after you get your lic.

Thanks for your feedback!
FTK
#54
Second Families / OSD is getting ready to drive
Dec 12, 2007, 03:42:17 PM
I need suggestions.  
OSD is almost 16, DH is CP; BM has EOW and lives about 50 miles away.

DH and BM have one other daughter (13) together.

Currently BM sends her oldest (not DH's) daughter who is 17 to pick up SD's to transport for EOW visitation (to and from school Friday PM to Monday AM).

OSD will be getting her drivers license in the next 5 months, and DH and I will be buying her a car.  BM is refusing to contribute to the cost of the car.

BM doesn't work, lives off of the guy of the week and is always looking to get rich quick.  BM also has a younger child 1 year old.

DH and I are concerned about letting OSD take her car to BM's house for the weekends, not only because it is 50 miles away, but we are worried that if something (God forbid) happens when she has her siblings in the car with her that BM will sue us.

Have any of you had similar issues or concerns, what did you do?

Thanks!
FTK
#55
Second Families / It finally happened...
Aug 12, 2007, 11:31:00 AM
.... YSD (13) came to me this past weekend and told me she now sees her BM as the liar, idiot (other various strong words) that she is.  

She currently is scheduled to be at with BM one day a week during the school year, but YSD wants to be home full time during school (on school nights).  

YSD failed one class and did poorly in her others last year and she says that it is because BM does not give her the structure she needs.   There are other things going on in BM's house that YSD confided in me about, but YSD wants to keep them between us for now.

YSD doesn't want it to go to court because last time we tried to get the one day a week taken away in court, BM instructed the kids on what to say.  YSD admitted this to me.  YSD doesn't want to be put in the same position again.

We have a phone call in to our lawyer, but YSD wants to do this as quickly as possible.  She doesn't feel she can have a rational conversation with BM about it so she wants to send her an email with her wishes and informing BM that YSD will only be coming to see her EOW.  YSD is worried about how OSD will react.  OSD is on the same page, but BM has a very wealthy boyfriend that will buy OSD anything she wants.

Any suggestions?  Comments?  
#56
Second Families / RE: I'm starting a new post...
Mar 12, 2007, 02:32:06 PM
As Kitty said below, the form can be for one year or multiple years.  We have never had to sign the form since she has been behind every year.

The one time we did get audited, the IRS asked us for copies of our court order that showed we have the children more than 50% of the time.  We also had to submit copies of utility bills.  (I think they were trying to figure out who was spending more on the kids)

We didn't recieve the audit notice until after we had received our refund so I was really worried that we would have to pay it back.

I think we got the final letter 30-60 days after I sent in all the proof saying that they determined that our taxes were correct.  I can only assume that meant that hers were wrong :)  We never did hear anything from her on it, I think she was trying to be sneaky.

FTK
#57
Second Families / RE: I'm starting a new post...
Mar 09, 2007, 03:38:33 PM
We had the PBFH do this ONE time.  that was all it took :)

We both got audited by the IRS, we sent in our proof that she was behind and a copy of the court order.  We never heard anything further from the IRS.  This was al least 10 years ago now.

I think the tax exemptions have changed from how it was in previous years.  The CP has to sign a form to allow the NCP to take the tax exemption.  I can't remember which publication it was in.

Our court order says the same thing as yours, if she is current she gets to claim one child.

We (okay, I type it up and DH signs it) sent a certified letter to the ex stating that the form would not be filled out to allow her to take the exemption this year since she was past due.

Good Luck!
FTK
#58
Second Families / RE: It was me.
Oct 26, 2006, 08:40:26 PM
Thats the one!

Thank you so much, I will pass it on :)

FTK
#59
Second Families / RE: A few ideas
Oct 04, 2006, 09:36:45 AM
Thats the one!

Thank you so much.

I have passed this on to my brother and sister in law.

Take Care,

FTK
#60
Second Families / Need Suggestions
Oct 02, 2006, 02:07:12 PM
My nephews BM has recently reduced her visitation even more.

She moved away and can't be bothered to drive down to get him every other weekend.

Nephew is 8.  He blames Dad and Step-Mom for BM's choice to not only move, but to only have him at her house on school holidays.

He is having a hard time with this and is taking it out on my brother and sister in law.

He is angry at his BM, but is taking it out on everyone and everything in my brothers home.

He has a counselor that he sees one time a week, but he doesn't seem to be able to place the blame where it belongs.

I remember a few years ago someone shared their experience on giving the kids choices, and letting them hammer nails in to a board.  I can't seem to find that post.

Does anyone remember that one?
Any other suggestions are welcome.

Thanks!
FTK