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If visitation is being denied for any reason then you need to file a contempt charge.  You need to make sure you document all missed visits and also take with you to court documentation of the threats.  Like Gemini said family court is not going to worry about things that many of us feel are important.  However being denied visitation on a regular basis could be used as a change in circumstance and that is what you really need to shoot for.  Your child wanting to live with you could be also consider a change in circumstance.  Now if you feel that your child needs to be protected and something is going on then when you make the requested change ask the courts for a GAL for your child.

In Texas a visitation law was added to the Texas Family code that grants the non custodial some additional visitation.  This was put into effect in August 2009. Here is a basic breakdown.

1.  Non Custodial Parent is granted one overnight visit every Thursday. Starts when the child is let out of school and ends when school begins the followng day. (or 8:00 am if school is out). 

2. Weekend visitation begins on Friday and does not end until Monday when school begins (or 8:00 am if school is out).  If Monday is a holiday the visitation is over on Tuesday when school begins (or 8:00 am if school is out). (so you get the child from Thursday to Monday morning.

All the non-custodial parent has to do is elect this visitation. This is automatically granted.  The key here is the family code requires the noncustodial parent to make these elections "before or at the time of" the original court order setting out visitation, or "before or at the time of" any modification order. Here is a link to that section of the Texas Family Code - http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/FA/htm/FA.153.htm#153.317 (http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/FA/htm/FA.153.htm#153.317)

Wow.....so much for freedom of speech.

'In Texas at the age of 12 a child can decide where they want to stay...'

Not quite, Simpledad.....it's important in issues like this that the meaning isn't misconstrued.  A child can VOICE who they want to live with, but you're right.....it still is up to the judge whether it's granted or not.

OP, keep in mind that the child just can't say 'I want to go live with Dad because I like it better there.'  If the child gives a fairly mature basis for their decision, it will carry more weight with the judge.

That is what I meant....your version sounds better...

You can file a motion for change in custody. In Texas at the age of 12 a child can decide where they want to stay...now keep in mind the judge will still have to grant it but the wishes of a child at that age carries a lot of weight.

Because the child wants to move in with the Non-Custodial parent that is considered a change in circumstance that will allow the motion to be filed with the courts.

For temporary orders on child support they will more than likely look at your last couple monthsh of pay statements to come up with an amount.  This amount has to be AFTER taxes.  So it will not be the gross amount of your check.  So what they will do is take your gross salary and deduct the taxes you pay and that will be your net pay and they will use that amount.

It is my understanding that a final order will be based on your annual salary (and I guess they could do that on temp child support as well).  So theoritically that can take your 2010 W-2 form and use that as a means to determin the amount.

Keep in mind. You are not responsible to maintain two households for your children. You are responsible for maintining ONE home where your children will reside when they are with you.  Every time your ex says that the kids do not have this or do not have that make remind her that you are able to provide for your kids.  If she cannot you will be picking them up. If she says they have no food tell her you will come pick up the kids and take them to your house an feed then.  You will then return them home to her. She is only using them as a weapon to get her way and will guilt you into anything.  It is a hard stance to take but all you have to do is keep reminding her that you are capable to take care of the children when she is not.  I can assure you that will put a stop to those comments.

Never and I repeat never have any of these conversations verbally. It only means your word against hers.   I personally will not have a single conversation with my ex with anything other than my son.  If we have a verbal conversation I immedietly send an email outlining what we discussed.  There is nothting more important in this stage than documentation.

The will not take into account money you spend on your children.  That will not have any real relevence.

Child Support is based on income only and marital status is not going to matter.  THe child support is going to be awarded based on the percentages by law.

Concerning no food and toysrus - ToysRUs is a privilige and while we all want to make sure are children have the things they want it is the things they need is what is important. Why is your STBX talking about going to ToysRUs when they do not have food.

My ex tried something similar.  My response to her was simple.  I have plenty of food at my house.  If you are unable to meet the needs of my children please let me know and I will come and pick them up.

When you file your counter motion you will need to cover everything that you want addressed by the courts.  If you do not include it in the motion it will not be addressed at all.

I am not saying that this is the case but logically speaking I think that they will deal with the contempt motion first because it may be the more pressing matter.  Once you deal with the contempt motions and she is found in comtempt it almost makes her motion non-existent because her true intent will be shown.

Your daughter is at an age where the true intent of a parent is recognizable.  Children are impressionable and when they are very young can be led to believe just about anything.  As they get older they become more perceptive to what is going on.  Many people think children can't think for themselves.  The problem with your ex is that he (and the stepmom) think that you are the one making these decisions.  They have a hard time accepting and understand that your daughter is a huge part of these decisions. 

From the outside looking in the biggest problem here is the stepmom.  Not because she does not care for your daughter or anything like that but because some how she was given the impression that she has rights in this.  She has become part of discussion that do not concern her.  I don't know if that is by default or by personal choice.  She keeps making comments as if she has rights to your daughter when she has absolutely none.  It has become a discussion amongst three people when it should only be two.

There is no way to make dad call or attempt to be part of his child's life. What he is doing now is acting like a petulant child.  I do agree that parents should not be bullied by children.  Is that the case in this situation? I do not think so.  What I am seeing is a child desparately trying to get the attention of her father. Who wants to go on a visitation and have the other parent not there?   I truly believe that step parents can be great and maybe stepmom here does truly care about your daughter.  She just needs to get out of the way.  This is Dad's responsibility and I am saddened by the fact that he does not step forward and act like a da.

Dad is required to be at the pick up.  That is clear as day in the decree.  He can designated an adult to pick up the child but he has to make that designation.  If he has done that unfortunately that is not much that can be done.  The child has to go if he does it by the book.

As far as making it work.  You can encourage the relationship but it requires Dad to reciprocate and if he does not the only thing you can do is be there for your daughter

At a minimum you should be able to get temporary custody until she is out or Rehab.  You clearly have a change in circumstance which would warrant a hearing. Based on what you have mentioned there may be a good chance of full custody but that will require a hearing.  The first thing that you need to file for is an emergency hearing so you can ask for temporary custody.

Unfortunately I have no way of contacting Dad without going through stepmom.  I have his home number, and her cell number.  His work number is to the main office and they have told me they cannot connect the call offshore without there being a medical emergency.  Daughter was so sure he would call and this really is awful for her.  I have read up on PAS, which I am accused of, and I do not see the correlation.  Can someone enlighten me?  I am worried about hurting daughter unintentionally.

My appreciation to those dealing with PBFH because I feel like that is what I am doing.   

The PAS claim is without merit.  Your Ex will need to be very careful with the claims they make.   

PAS is considered a form of child abuse. So if your Ex makes that claim here and tries to get it before a judge be better make sure he has all of his ducks in a row or he could be a lot of trouble.  In Texas (and I am sure many other places) there were a lot of false abuse allegations against one parent or another. I am sure many of us have heard or read some of the horror stories concerning a parent facing false allegations of abuse.

Texas has taken a stance towards parents that make false allegations and could be in quite a bit of trouble if they make any.  There section in the Texas Family Code that specifically covers this in custody issues.  Initially it will start off as a contempt charge but I highly doubt anyone wants to stand before a judge and expect things to go their way after they made a false abuse allegation.

Sec. 153.013.  FALSE REPORT OF CHILD ABUSE.  (a)  If a party to a pending suit affecting the parent-child relationship makes a report alleging child abuse by another party to the suit that the reporting party knows lacks a factual foundation, the court shall deem the report to be a knowingly false report.
(b)  Evidence of a false report of child abuse is admissible in a suit between the involved parties regarding the terms of conservatorship of a child.
(c)  If the court makes a finding under Subsection (a), the court shall impose a civil penalty not to exceed $500.



Added by Acts 1995, 74th Leg., ch. 751, Sec. 28, eff. Sept. 1, 1995.  Amended by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 786, Sec. 2, eff. Sept. 1, 1997.