Messages

Good point on the meds not going towards deductible.  I'm sure you're correct.

BM's birthday is in May, DH in December.  But the order is for DH to carry insurance, I'm guessing BM is carrying it too because it's free or very inexpensive, not sure.

Twist to this now...   BM is suggesting they remove the clause that DH must cover SD and just use BM's policy.  DH asked her for copies of the coverage her employer offers and a recent paycheck.  We want to calculate to see if DH dropping policy on SD would be enough to increase his CS obligation and what kind of coverage she actually has. 

Waiting for the documents from BM...
 

There are no rules outlined in the CO except that DH has to cover the SD with employer's insurance.  However, we have an email from BM recognizing that her insurance is secondary.  With this being said, do you still recommend not paying BM at all until she runs it through both? 

Another issue, is we have a high deductible policy.  By her not using DH's policy, we're not getting credit for our annual deductible. 

DH contacted secondary insurance to alter them, but the prescriptions are processed by another company and they won't talk to him.  But I may suggest he try again.

Thanks for the responses!   

Thanks for the response.  Good advice for Dr appts. 

The issue DH is dealing with now is regarding a prescription being filled at a pharmacy.  They won't rerun it.  DH agreed to pay the higher amount for this one month and made that very clear to BM. 

Do you think DH is OK to prorate future payments and let BM go to a judge if she disagrees with what he's doing?

BM is now receiving benefits at work and recently added SD's to her medical and dental policy.  Per the CO DH is to carry insurance for SD's and he does, and uncovered expenses are split 50/50.  As it stands with the insurance companies, DH's insurance is primary and BM's secondary.  Prior to BM adding them, the SD were covered by MA, so any uncovered costs were paid by the MA.

YSD is on Adderall (not a cheap drug).  BM decided that since the out of pocket is less using her insurance, she is going to use her insurance to get the meds.  Since DH's insurance is listed as primary, we can't go back to DH insurance and file a claim.  The primary has to be used first.

DH has explained this to BM but she doesn't care.  She refuses to use DH's insurance first (and then file a claim with her insurance for the extra benefit) and she refuses to change her insurance to primary (DH can't).  Her excuse is that she can't afford the out of pocket using DH insurance first.  DH tried explain the out of pocket may be higher, but the net cost will be less (because we can run it through both insurance companies).

This is the first month DH and BM had to pay for the meds, DH finally gave in and gave BM half of what she paid for the meds.  However, next month he wants to prorate the payment based on what the final cost would be if she used both insurances.   

This does not sound unreasonable to me.  Thoughts? 

Also, DH has also offered to get the meds, but BM refused that too.

She's not giving a lot of details - just that she's proud she can cover them.  I suspect she recently qualified for benefits at her job (McDonald's). 

I can't image she'd pay for things the county would cover, so I'm sure there's more to this that we'll uncover as time goes by.  But is she allowed to decide the kids won't have MA if they qualify?  As a result we're responsible for 50% of some very expensive ADHD medication.

Yes, in a perfect world no one would need assistance. 

The point of my question is, does the parent who qualifies for the MA have to be the one to enroll them?  And can BM decide to take them off, forcing DH to pay more for medical costs?

BM is deciding they can come off.  I believe she'll be in shock when she discovers how much she'll pay out of pocket.  She's new to the world of insurance and I supsect doesn't really understand what she's doing.

BM contacted DH recently to tell him she's proud to say she is taking the kids off Medical Assistance.  After some back and forth, DH's determined the kids still qualify for it.

Medical Assistance picked up all uncovered medical expenses.  YSD has ADHD and has expensive medications. 

Bottom line, removing them from MA will cost both parenets more money.  Again, BM said she's doing this out of pride.  Does DH have any say at all about this?

They share legal custoday.  BM has physcial, and her income (or lack of it) is what qualifies the kids for MA.

Would you suggest DH file in family court even if the agreement that DH and BM have for the PC isn't part of their divorce order?  The retainer came out of the contract they signed with the PC (Parenting Consultant). 

I'm double checking because DH's father sued BM in small claims court becuase she owed him $8k and judge told DH's dad to take it to family court.  But the $8k was specified in the divorce decree as being owed to him.  And I'm wondering if that's the key factor. 

DH got a quick response from his attorney on this issue and she said:

"you can try to go to conciliation court for these debts.  There's a specific provision that says the court doesn't have jurisdiction over family court matters but I can't find the provision so I don't know if it applies."

I'm sure she didn't do any research becuase DH's retainer is down to $0.  I'm trying to find the provision she's referring to, with no luck.

The agreement says nothing about school fees etc. 

I know there is a tutor.  DH has emailed her and SD talks about seeing her.  About a year ago BM sent DH a copy of the 'contract' she created.  Payment wasn't based on SD grades.

We don't plan on trying to collect on money we paid for activities since there is nothing in the agreement that says the costs are shared.  I was just using it to point out with all both parties have paid, BM would owe us more than she's trying to collect from us.  We just want the $500 retainer.  We have a string of emails where BM is agreeing to pay and then suddenly says she won't (I'm sure she got mad about something we did or said).

Thanks for the help!

BM owes DH $500 for a retainer he paid on her behalf about a year ago.  It was a retainer for the PC they're required to use.

Over the months we've tried collecting from BM.  We finally had an agreement that she'd pay us $10 a week (better than nothing!) until it's paid off.  We even agreed to let her wait until her husband was off disability to start paying. 

The day for the first payment came and BM didn't pay.  When DH asked her about it she said she's paid over $500 in the last year for a math tutor for SD (have never seen a receipt).  This tutor was hired by BM with no discussion with DH, nor did BM ask for money when she hired the tutor.  Never mind that SD math grade was never above a D all last year.  We believe BM hired the tutor to help her case in changing the girl's schools (which she did without DH's knowledge).

DH offered over and over to do the tutoring (for free obviously) but BM would never agree.  To add to it, we've paid over $2400 over the years for karate, swimming lessons and other various activities for the kids on our time (more than BM has paid for a tutor).

So, BM is now saying she will not pay us the $500 because we owe her more than that for the tutor and if we file in court for it she's sue is for ½ the tutor money.

Two questions.  Where do we file for the $500?  Family or Small Claims?  And, could DH be held accountable for ½ the tutor money?