Messages

My STBX is fighting that I have to supply her with health insurance for the remander of her life or untill she getts remarried. We were only married for 4 years and she has always had a job but been on my insurance because she would bounce from job to job and never landed one with better insurance that mine. I have contacted my Human Resources department and they will not cover an ex-spouse they said the only option is for her to elect COBRA for 18 months.

Her attorney is saying there is a law in MA that prohibits employers from removing ex-spouses from health insurance but I don't know if this is true or even how to find this out. The divorce is going through NH my office is in MA but my employer is out of MI.

1. Does my employer have to do this if the law exsists in MA even though I am employed out of MI?

2. Is there a law in the state of MA that prohibits employers from treminating health insurance after a divorce is final?

Any advise would be great.

I have just finished my divorce and now am trying to rebuild my life.  I went to pull my credit reports to make sure that the ex was not tied to them any more and found four accounts that I had no idea about.  I also found that they had my current address as the ex's address which I never lived there and my former address where I currently live.  I researched the accounts by calling the creditors and two of them took me off immediatly and told the credit agentcy to call to verify, the other two would not do a thing.  All these accounts my ex opened in my name but her address and charged them up to max and let a credit collection agency close them.  It has destroyed my credit.

I talked to my bank on what to do they told me to call the credit agencys and open an investigation of fraud because I never signed applications, receipts, or knew of the accounts.  I have called the three major credit agencies and opened an investigation on the two accounts as fraud.

Now my questions;
What will happen now?
If they find these as fraud what will happen?
If they find these as fraud what will happen to the ex?

My STBX is fighting that I have to supply her with health insurance for the remander of her life or untill she getts remarried.  We were only married for 4 years and she has always had a job but been on my insurance because she would bounce from job to job and never landed one with better insurance that mine.  I have contacted my Human Resources department and they will not cover an ex-spouse they said the only option is for her to elect COBRA for 18 months.  Her attorney is saying there is a law in MA that prohibits employers from removing ex-spouses from health insurance but I don't know if this is true or even how to find this out.  The divorce is going through NH my office is in MA but my employer is out of MI.  Does my employer have to do this if the law exsists in MA even though I am employed out of MI?  

Any advise would be great.

I am going through a custody battle and need some recommendations.  Things have not gone the way my STBX wants so I think she is trying to play the deeper pocket game using her father.  I am getting finacialy killed and am scared that once I get a trial that I will not be able to pay for my attorney or PI to do their job.  I have a limited amout left and now I am getting hit with more finacial chanlenges.  My attorney wont let me make payments but my PI has agreed to barter my talents for hers.  My delema is that I just got stuck with the STBX old vehicle and receive repo notice if not brought up to date in the next two weeks.  I have tried to private sell, wholesale, and sell to a dealer, but I am running out of time.

Can my attorney just drop my case or is there something that prevents him from doing this as long as I make payments?

Any other ideas on how to get rid of this vehicle.

I finally got work from the court.  The court found that she did not meet the burden of proof to make any changes.  They did make a recommendation and took my suggestion.  

The recommendation they made was that the court now want a journal to be passed back and forth stating any events going on in the children's lives in up coming weeks, appointments, or any recommendations on better parenting practices.  I think this is great because in the past all this was done via mouth and when we went to court there was no proof that I kept her informed, so she kept implying that I didn't inform her.  Luckily the judge was smart and bated her with question that filled in the blanks.

The suggestion that the court took of mine was to give her a 3 hour dinner visit in the middle of the week.  I am not to sure how I feel now about it because she is making a stink about how she will have to take the children to their activities during her time and how this is unfair because she should be able to do what she wants with the kids not what they already have planned.  I talked to my attorney he told me that since the court wrote the order stating that she did not meet a burden of proof to make a change the court shouldn't have even done this.  So if she starts interfering with the activities and not bringing them we can easily put an end to the 3 hour visit.

I am just excited that the kids' lives will stay the same.  They love their live and this is stable.  I have begun e-mailing the ex all the schedules until I can pass the journal to her, and she still hasn't been making attempts to show up for evens for the kids.  For example my 4 year old daughter had her first dance class ever last Tuesday the ex didn't show and today was Rally day at church (kick off of the new Sunday school year), big party/festival and she didn't bother to show.  But I know some how in her twisted mind it is my entire fault.

Here is a little update from what happened at court.  

I still have not heard anything from the judge yet on her decision but this is what happened.

My ex's case was that I interfear with her relationship with the children.  She tried to say that it was my fault that she does not know what goes on at school, scouts, karate, doctors, and home.  She wanted to change the custody drasticly (live with her Sunday through Thursday evening)  Where right now they live full time with me and visit her every other week end.  

My case was proving to the judge that it has not been me interfearing but her lack of interest to be involved.  We proved to the judge that my ex has not involved her self in any of the areas that she named.  Pluss that her work schedule would be a detriment to the children, and that the change would be a detriment to my son's school work since she has chosen to never do home work with the child even on weekend that he visits her.  Instead he brings it home on Sunday night and we work hard to get it done for Monday morning.  The judge did not seem to impressed by my ex and her case.  She even made comments, because my ex works driving school bus in my son's school distric.  The judge looked at her and asked her if my ex really wanted the judge to believe that she doesn't know what is going on within the school when she works for the distric, and that is why she never involved herself in my son's life.

She never brought up my girlfriend or any of that stuff.  My attorney was disapointed that they didn't.  he said he was looking forward to showing the court her distructive behavior with more faulse accusations.

Now it is just a wait game.

My attorney says that this is a trial on Stachitory law, she needs to prove that the elements have been met to look at making a change.  He told me that she has not met the elements in his eyes, but my concern is with the courts eyes.  I just found out the other day she has an attorney, originally she was representing herself.  Now I am concerned because so many attorneys play dirty.  I am also concerned that they will try to get a GAL involved.  I don't have the money for all this.

I am a single dad with primary custody and no child suport.  Every thing I make goes into suporting the kids and keeping them active in after school activities (karate, Dance, Cub Scouts).  Which is another thing that pisses me off, because she has never tried to be involved in any of these things.  In fact she wont bring them if it falls on her time and wont come during my time.  But now she thinks that she should have half the custody when she can't even comply to the kids life style.  She has only come to 2 doctor visits (my daughters) when she broke her arm.  Never goes to any physicals, counselors, or any other.  Then there is the fact that she can't even keep my daughter in her school because the school refuses to allow my ex to bring her there for business reasons.  I can't explain that one further yet.

So if the judge was to entertain a change it would really screw up the kids life style, because they wouldn't be able to stick to a consistent schedule.  Not even a schedule that closely resembles one an other.

Hi guys it has been a while since I have been here.  Things were going smooth for the last year until just recently.  My problem is my ex has file for a change in custody.

I am the PC parent of a 4 year old girl and 7 year old boy.  the court orders have been this way for a year now, and she was the one to sign them over to me.  Now she wants them to change.  Her reasons, there are two; she tells the court because I am a jerk (3 page letter of why I am a jerk), she told me because she wants power.

Other delema I have since moved on with my life, as she needs to do.  I have met a wonderful woman that has 3 kids the same ages as mine, in fact they all go to school together and scouts.  The kids all love one another and us too.  Since she has found out about this my ex has been sending her friends around the town we live in to spy on us, even at church.  She has gone as far as to have her mother take the kids for a ride through our town so the kids could show her where my girl friend lives.

Questions;
1) How easy is it to change custody after it has been established, and the mother signed over the primary custody?

2) Is the court really going to care that I have a girl friend?

3) Is the court going to care that my ex is having me spyed on by friends and family and having the kids tell her where my girl friend lives?

I have court coming up in a couple of weeks?  It is just a 30 min trial to see if the elements have been met to have a triall to see if there needs to be a change.  I have an attorney, my ex does not.

Here is the update for you on the agreement.
I met with her over the week end and she agreed to it all.  I took your advice on the child suport.  I remember reading from a lot of other fathers that she could come back and get me on the past due even if we agreed to it.  So this is what I did.  

I formed up a writen agreement between us that stated the original CO and how those sections were to be modified.  She signed the contract between us.  When it came down to the child suport I told her that even if we agreed that I did not need to pay the court is going to hold me liable for it and it could cause trouble.  I told her that the easy way was for us to submit it to the court and then every one is protected.  She agreed but wants to wait until March 1st.  March 1st is when we are to every year reasses child suport.  We agreed that come March 1st we will us my attorney to draft up the change and submit it to the court while we reasses the child suport.

For now what is going to happen for the child support is that I will continue to pay her the money but she is going to turn around and use this money to pay the kids before and after school activity and preschool.  That way I have the paper trail that I paid her, I don't pay twice for these activities, and she doesn't have to pay a lot out of her pocket.

She kinda let it slip why she wanted the change.  Her boy friend has just goten custody of his son and he need her to help him raise him.  She doesn't feel that she can deal with his son along with our two kids so she feels that it is best that I take care of the kids and she will visit them every other weekend if her schedule alows her to.

I am going to take your advice on this.  I talked to the ex today and she wants to modify the custody as follows:

I will have custody of the children for the school year with her visiting every other weekend.  During the summer she wants the kids to stay with her Sunday evening till Thursday Morning and the kids stay with me Thursday morning till Sunday evening.

She continued to coment how she will probably not see them that often during the school year because of work.  She works Thursday through Sunday, days and nights.  I told her that if this became the issue that we could always make araingements where she could pick the kids up at school and take them out but be home for 6:30 PM so I could help my son with home work.  She commented that maybe every other weekend she would take them for a few hours on Saturday.

To my suprize she then wanted to talk about child suport.  She told me that she felt it was not fair for me to pay any if the kids are going to live with me full time.  I was blown away but thanked her for this consideration.  She wants to talk about this more but I am unsure of what to do to protect me.

1. Will a mutual signed agreement releave me from this obligation?

2. Do I have to continue writing her checks every week, but give her a deposit slip so she can deposit the money back into my account?

I would like not to scare her with a court filing just yet, so I didn't want to ask that of her.  She did agree to put this whole change in writing for us to sign.  If she makes suggestions of letting me file it I will offer to pay the entire amount for filing and attorney.