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Messages - auntkelly2011

I am posting this for my friend Tim. About a year and a half to 2 years ago he and his wife split up, she immediately filed for a PFA putting him into the county jail, then into court ordered rehabilitation regarding his alleged alcohol use. At that time he did not truly know his right's nor did he have access to a decent lawyer, thus he just complied with the order, and is now at the end of completing the court ordered rehab program. The child has been able to see him when he was given a day pass to visit his mother, which was the mutually agreed upon verbal arrangement mediated by his mother who's tried to remain as neutral as possible. So, for the past year at the minimum, he has seen his son at his mothers, and the only contact with his ex wife was whatevery verbally relayed through his mom. Recently, the ex wife, WITHOUT provocation decided to request an extension of the PFA and modification denying him any visitation with his son. As far as we are aware his mother knew nothing about this.....and as of right now the PFA will be extended with said modification if he does not respond. The only thing we can theorize that may have caused the ex wife to do this would be his mother telling her (without him knowing) that I have given him all of the necessary form's and paperwork to file for divorce and for custody. (Separate filings) There was no other provocation,  thus would it be fair to state that she is manipulating the courts and PFA to suit her CUSTODY desires if she has no tangible evidence to sumbit?
Common sense and other Intel do point to the ex wife's continued  (she used while they were married) drug abuse, hence the manipulation of the courts to avoid her paying any fees associated with an actual custody and divorce procceding. It is also of note that she repeatedly denies him visits with his son unless her demands for money (of course through his mom) are met FIRST. I don't want to think his own mother is in kahoots with her, but honestly that's not the issue at hand, it just seems to be logical that if she is still using, and is in the wrong for using the PFA to try to keep him at her arms length. With her demands for money and PFA extension it all seems to be an attempt to manipulate using the PFA to keep him away, legally, yet shes still allowing the visits through his somewhat naieve mom.....any advice?
 :-\ Ok so maybe i should be more specific. No, they are not married, and only live together. He brings home the pay, she takes care of the child. he THREATENS to have her charged with kidnapping if she leaves and comes back to PA. Staying in TN is not safe, as he abuses alchol and drugs frequently and has at times stated its HIS paycheck and hes going to buy a bag of dope, the three diapers they had left that night would be enough til SHE goes to HIS mother to borrow money.....and she was told to lie about bills to get the money....needless to say my sister got a paypal payment from me to pay for that pack of diapers.....they live nearly 20 hours from me, and she has NO help there (the mother in law and her new man are smoking crack now too, great folks huh?) so basicly what i wanted to know is the legalities of her leaving. the plan is for her to pack up what she needs for her and baby and take off. Shes contemplating a note that says "Im leaving, and will be going back to my family. Domestic Relations in Indiana PA will contact you soon to arrange custody and visitation and child support." the drive here will take 9 hours on a good day. but will likely be near 10 hours if theres traffic. so, we would not be able to go file for emergency temporary custody until the next morning as thell be closed when she arrives. Is there any law that says that is parental kidnapping in Tennessee? If so, what is the process......does it have to go to the judge to determine custody frist? Some have said its not parental kidnapping if custody hasnt been established. another issue is that hes told her that because their daughter was born there shes not allowed to leave TN because their child was born there........and that she MUST file there and stay there until the court stuff is taken care of. She merely lives with him and has lived with him about 3 years
Thanks All
Im new here, my husband has been a past member when we had our hiccup and split. Back together and all is good, but not so much for my younger sister. Shes 21 and moved to Tennessee to be with father of their child. All was well and good for the first two years but recently has changed. She wants to take their daughter and move back here to PA with our family, but hes threatening to have her charged with kindapping and telling her that because their daughter was born in Tennessee its against the law for her to leave. Can anyone tell me if theres an inking of truth to his threats or should she do what i said and pack her car her child and leave him a note saying where she went and how to contact domestic relations here and then drive here. Plan for a weekday arrival so that when she arrives we go directly to domestic relations and file for custody.....or should she leave NO note and just take the minimum so that he cannot contact domestic relations first? We encouraged her to join here, but theres a lot of risk of him seeing her online activity so im asking the questions for now.
Auntie Kel >:(