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I would do, MT and every other weekend for one, and TTH and everyother weekend for the other.  Changing to one week on one week off once child starts school.

This is just my opinion though.

SS had one week on, one week off from age three until five (temp order), which was hard on him when he was smaller.  Now it is wed nights and every other weekend with his mom until he starts school.  Then it changes to T and W nights with Mom and every other weekend.

We are dreading this change.  It's a LOT of moving around while he is in school.  It probably would have worked better when he was younger.

As far as I know, yes she can withdraw her case with them.

If I were you, I would put in an anonymous phone call to the county and ask them what will need to be done.

I did this when BM had custody of SS.  DH had covered him on his insurance since birth.  She CHOSE to not use it and put him on medicaid.  Then the state tried to come after DH for medical support.

Fortunetly, DH's attorney brought to the magistrates attention that SS had in fact been covered.

Tread lightly here.  You may want to get an attorney to help you with the schmetics of all this.

The CS department is a party to the action ONLY if the custodial parent is on assistance.

When a CP enters public assistance, they MUST sign over all rights concerning child support enforcement to the state.  That way, they can go after the NCP for money to pay back the state.

If neither of you are on public assistance, then you should not have a problem.  If either of you are however, there could be major problems getting them to sign off for you to do Joint Physical custody, because they are going to want SOMEONE to pay them back, and taxpayers would rather have NCP's pay instead of themselves.

Please tell me he recorded these phone calls!

Did your attorney put you on a payment plan?

DH's did for our whole mess.  We have three years to pay it off, in monthly installments.  Anything new we'd probably have to pay upfront for though.

Call your attorney.  Even if you can't afford him, he can probably give you a name of an attorney that works on a sliding scale.

Since your DH has been in front of this Judge before with unfavorable results, I think it is prudent that you find an attorney.

Good Luck and God Bless.

BETH

Well, I for one will not "slam" you.  You have done exactly what you should have done.  What I would have done.

Are you sure you can't get an attorney for this?  I know how strapped you can get in this kind of mess, I just don't want you screwed because you didn't have an attorney.

How are the kids holding up in all this crap?

I don't know what to tell you.

Do you expect her to actually pay him back?

What a b*tch!

"Oh, poor wittle me!  SS, your Daddy is being so unfair not letting me see you, just because I was too irresponsible to show up...(wimper, wimper, sigh)".

I feel for you Tulip.  Keep your wits about you and don't crack the idiot (even though I'm sure you really really want to!).

You're in my prayers.

BETH

Watch out Tulip.  I hope you guys are keeping all of her craziness documented.

I have friends who went through this kind of crap.  BM lied on stand (all teary-eyed of course) and said that she had been refused visitation and phone calls.  Which was a complete lie, she had stopped calling and rarely even showed up for visitation.

Luckily (?) she's finally screwed up BIG time and got locked up.

The boy (14) is doing lots better now.  Much more laid back and happy.  He was always worried about her.  Now he's not exactly happy that she's in jail, but is happy that she's atleast sober and eating where she's at!

Hang in there, and thank the stars that the counselor is talking straight with that little boy!

This may be a long road for you all, but well worth the sacrifice to save those kids!

God Bless,

BETH

Did She sign the agreement so that she could see the kids?

Every jurisdiction is different.

Ours had a six month time line.  BM did not respond to evaluator until 6 weeks before due date.  Needless to say, it was slammed through as fast as possible.

On the upside, DH got custody.

On the downside, BM was never tested for drug use, so she has extremely liberal visitation.

The evaluator "didn't want to waste the courts time" with a drug test.  Put in report that BM may or may not be a druggie, but sure acts like one.

How long has yours been going on?  Did the Judge put a due date on it?