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Step-dad is unstable & Mother doesnt see it.....

Started by Helping Brent, Jul 30, 2004, 06:55:41 PM

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Helping Brent

On November 17, 2002 I learned that my wife was having an
affair with a co-worker of hers.  I confronted her with this
inforamtion that night and she denied the affair.  Here is
where my nightmare begins.....
On November 22, 2002, my wife left for work (or so I
thought).  she worked the night shift at Technicolor in
Virginia.  I went in and kissed the girls (Madison 3 &
Haley 1.5) goodnight and went to bed myself.  A few hrs later
I was awakened by a pounding on my front door.  When I opened
the door I could not believe my eyes.  There were a few
police officers with their guns drawn.  My first thought
wrong I was.  The police told me that I had 15 minutes to
pack my stuff and leave the home.  I thought I was dreaming.
I kept asking them what was goign on.  thats when they told
me that my wife (Amy) had filed an abuse complaint and had a
restraining order on me.  Keep in mind that my children are
in the home sleeping while all of this is going on.  I wast
not able to call my mom, sister or anyone.  All I kept
thinking about was those two little girls asleep in the next
room.  I was removed from the home and told that I had to
stay away for 72 hours.  Still shocked at what had just
happened I drove to my mothers home which was only 20 minutes
away.  After I told my mother what had happened she called my
wife.  By this time it was about 4:00 a.m.  amy answered the
phone laughing and my mother could hear the girls in the
background.  Amy said that I had pushed her and threatened
her.  THIS WAS A LIE!!
Well after many calls I was still not able to get a hold of
my wife on the phone.  When I finally returned to the house
72 hrs later (with my mother and step-dad in tow) I was
shocked at what I saw.  Amy had trashed out new home.  She
threw dirty diapers all over the house, destroyed my office
and computer (I was at the time a Pharm. Rep).  tore up my
clothes, threw food all over the house, etc.  What a mess.
The next thing I knew I was served with a restraining order
from CONNECTICUT.  Seems she fled the state with her new b/f
and with my kids.  This restraining order ended up being
extended for a yr.  Everytime it was about to run out she
would file another complaint.  Needless to say,  from
November 22, 2002 until this past March, 2004 I had not seen
my two little girls, nor was I even aloud to talk to them on
the phone.  The mother had moved several times and never
forwarded this inforation to myself, my family or my
attorney.  Finally in march I received a phone call and it
was Amy.  She was calling to tell me that she was getting
married in April, 2004.  And that i could now talk to my
kids.  What a mess.  I have been denied court ordered
visitation of the last weekend or every month from Friday
7:00 p.m. - Sunday 7:00 p.m., court ordered phone calls on
Mondays & Thursday (ONLY) from 7:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. ,
visitation on alternating holidays and the first two weeks of
July.   I told Amy that i wanted to see the kids for spring
break and had made arrangements to go to CT (an 8 hr drive
one way) to get the kids for the 2 weeks for Spring break and
then drive them back.  A few days before I wax to leave to
get them she called and said I could  not have them that it
was her turn to have them.  Now keep in mind I had not seen
them in 17 months at this time.  I was so hurt I had no idea
what to do next.  i contacted the CT police and told them of
the situation.  They said it was the mothers right to refuse
visitation and unless there was an order in the CT courts
there was nothign they could do for me.  This is where Lor
(my fiancee') took over.  She went online and printed out all
the forms we needed for the Ct courts.  She then filed a
"Foreign Judgment" in Ct and it was upheld.  We
drove to CT on June 25 and picked up a certified copy of the
Judgement and the next morning headed to the police
department to pick up my kids.
While the kids were her I learned that their new step-dad
Russell was beating (and i use that word because its the word
my 5 yr old used) them with a belt on their bare bottoms.  I
was just sick.  We took the kids to UVA emergency room for an
evailuation and they/we also talked to a social worker.  My 3
yr old Haley had ring worm and both kids were underweight.  i
was just sick sick sick.  Lori then filed a complaint with
Child Protective Services in CT.  When the mother learned
that she was under investigation she fled the state.  By this
time we had a new court date for custody/visitation and abuse
& neglect charges.  Well the court date was for July 26
and we were not able to get out there.  Because the mother
had fled the state they were not able to investigate her and
tnerefore we had no report to take with us to court.  The
mother is now back in CT and the proper people have been
notified again.  
I have tried to talk to Amy and ask her to stop letting
Russell hit the kids with a foreign object...she didnt
understand what that ment.  I said stop with the belt.  she
said that he beats them with the belt becaus ehe loves them.

Today I spoke to Jill at CPS and she said that she had heard
from Amy and that she would be out to see her and the kids
this week.  I asked if she would be able to tlak to the kids
without the mother present (so she cant intimidate them) Jill
said no.  the mother has a right to deny this request.  FOR
My next problem is that I hav ebeen out on workers comp since
Jan 13, 2004 after falling off of a 12 ft ladder and I have
lost everything.  And I cant aford and attorney.
Any ideas?
Thank you for lettign me vent.


Helping Brent

Well my fiancee' has decided to take matters into her won hands.  On Monday she tracked down the step-dads previous divorce papers and went to the courthouse and picked them up.  The first thing she noticed about the papers is that the step-dad told the new wife that she was his "3rd" wife when in fact, she is his "4th" wife.

She also noticed that the ex-wife had changed her name back to her maiden name and deicided to call information since the address was a local one and get her number and maybe give her a call.  Well she got the number she but the ex wasnt home.  Not wanting to give up she then went to Dominos Pizza and asked a drive where this address was.  Only 10 minutes down the road so off she went.

When she pulled up to the hoe a lady came house.  She asked if the was the ******* residence and the lady said "yes".  She then asked if she was "Julie" and she said "yes".  She introduced herself to Julie as ******* & ***** future step mom and asked if they could talk.  To make a long story short, she learned that Russell was unstable.  Could not hold down a job for more then a few months at a time, that he was mentally and verbally abusive.  She asked Julie if Russell ever hit her kids.  They have two kids, a 10 yr old boy who is mentally challenged and a little girl who has also suffered because of her brother condition and her fathers mistakes.  She asked if Russell had ever hit the kids and Julie said, he used to hit their son on the top of the head and then told Julie that he hit him there because you cant see the bruises on the head.  THIS FREAKED MY FIANCEE' OUT!!  she also proceeded to tell her that Russell used to brag about how he and his older brother used to give eachother blow jobs'.  Rick was 14 and Russell was about 12 at the time.  SICK SICK SICK.    

Well after learning all of this we are more eager to get the kids away from Russell and the mother only Child Protective Services is not taking us seriously.  They think that the father is just being vendictive.



Man, what a horrible thing.  I understand  what you are going though.  My fisrt question is, why did the state of Conn.  allow her to file anything there in such a short time?  Most states have residental time frames before you can file.  My ex lives in NC and he tried to do custody there, however  since we had filed here in virginia first, NC  throw the case out.  It's part of the federal parental kipnapping act.  This was put into place to stop one parent from fleeing to another state and filing for custody.  Check Conn. state codes for the time frame, you may find that she filed to soon and be able to have it thrown out of court there and return to the case to were the children lived at the time of the sperartion.  

As far as CPS  go, you are right, the only time they will do something is when the child is dead or hospitalized.  We face this with my hubsands ex here in virginia.  My advice---have someone else call CPS on her.  Like a nieghbor, remember they need not give thier name.

Good luck and keep us posted