I haven't seen my child in 6 months

[ww88dew]

In May of 2008 my son came to stay with me for my summer visitation.  In June his father (custodial parent) called to say that he was moving to Germany. (His new wife is in the Air Force).  He gave our son the choice of what he wanted to do.  He said he wanted to stay with me.  So it was agreed between us.  His father said he would get the papers drawn up etc.  Well he went to Germany without doing so.  In February after they got settled in Germany he tried to call me.  The reason I know that is because they got ahold of my sister and she told them she would relay the message.  2 days later a police officer in the town I live in Beaver, Ok knocks on my front door around 1:00 int he afternoon and tells me that my sons grandmother (lives in claremore) came to the school with a faxed power of attorney from my childs father and removed the child from school.  Since then I havent been able to contact my child, his father, his grandmother NOTHING!.  I was told by someone who knows them that they have already obtained a passport and plan on removing him when school is over.  I have reasonable visitation and liberal phone contact according to our decree.  But I am not allowed to talk to him nor see him.  My mother passed away last thursday and i called every number possible with no response trying to get ahold of him.  Finally I tracked down the school hes enrolled in and they were rude and hateful so I called the superintendant and he was shocked at all of this and said the grandmother has no rights enrolling him in school etc.  I have no money for a lawyer and legal aid says they cant help me.  People have to me to just go get my child but the Beaver police say I will be arrested if I do.  the police in Claremore say they will go get him if the Beaver Police will call them and tell them to.  Any advice?

[Ref]

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. It must be heartbreaking! My advice is to get a lawyer that specializes in custody and family law.

How long did your son live with you and go to school where you live? Does it say anything about parents moving on your custody/visitation agreement?

I wish I give you better advice, but this is something you are going to get a lawyer involved in. There is too much at stake.

Good luck
Ref

[Kitty C.]

PLEASE check with the US State Dept. in regards to the passport.  Because a passport canNOT be obtained for a minor without BOTH parents' consents.  Both parents have to sign for it...this was put into law to prevent one parent from absconding with a child to another country.  I know that you said you don't have the money for an atty., but there are too many issues here (especially with the father not even in the country) to try to do this by yourself. 

If there is any relief for you, it's knowing that your son cannot be taken out of the country without your signature on his passport application.  But if you find out that one was issued for him, it would have to be because your name was forged on the application.  So you need to investigate this immediately.  As for the POA given to the g-mother, you also need to find out if that was even legal as well.  And some of this you may not be able to do without an atty.  Beg, borrow, sell what you have to, or find an atty. who will allow you to pay as you go (remote), but your child's wellbeing may very well depend on it.

[ww88dew]

my sisiter has done all of the research and no its not legal for the grandmother to have done what she did.  in the state of oklahoma a power of attorney doesn't over ride parental rights.  but still the police will do nothing.  i found out today that they do have a passport for him.  and at the end of the school year the grandmother is taking him to germany.  the state department of travel is the first place i contacted.  and they said that since the father is the custodial parent then he can take him but according to oklahoma state law he has to give me a 60 day written notice to move our son and he hasn't done so. 

[ocean]

File in court an emergency hearing to have child stay in the US..either with you or grandmother...?

[Gestalt]

File in court an emergency hearing to have child stay in the US..either with you or grandmother...?

absolutely- do so today- even without a lawyer, in the motion also request that the child not be removed from the jurisdiction until the court has ruled on the relocation.

I would not include granny as a possible residence for the child. You are mom- unless you have been found in some way to be unfit, there is no reason the child should not live with you.

[Giggles]

I agree with ocean and Gesalt.  GO NOW to the courthouse and file an Ex Parte order for Emergency Custody!!!  You can do that on your own...it's not that difficult and it might cost you about $150 for filing fee.  You should get an order THAT DAY in regards to Temp Custody and then another hearing will be set once the Father has been served...since he's out of the country...that may be slightly difficult.

BE SURE TO FILE in the COUNTY and STATE that has JURISDICTION though!!  That is VERY important!!

Please also let us know how it goes!!!

[ww88dew]

Ok guys im gonna lay it out quickly for you.  I havent been found unfit.  I had custody of our son until 2005.  I got into a slump then and DHS got involved.  My youngest 2 kids went to live with my sister and I volunteered for my 11 year old to go live with his father whom he had only seen about 10 times his whole life.  I got my act together ( I had to go into some severe depression counseling ) and got the mess straightened out and got my other 2 kids back etc and have been fine ever since.  As soon as my son went to live with his father his father took off to work in iraq as a civilian for 6 months and left our son there with his new wife.  My ex has another ex wife and child that he hasnt seen in 5 years.  This is the woman he left me for.  He left her for his new wife.  Hes not very stable.  I did have a question thought.  According to the travel department that issues passports, the parent has to have sole custody of the child.  If I have liberal visitation and liberal telephone rights does that still make him have sole custody?  I thought sole custody meant that the other parent had NO rights?

[Gestalt]

No sole custody means that the parent that has does not have to consult the other parent on major decisions and the other parent technically has no say in major decisions.

File the paper work today- if you are indigent (very poor) they may be able to waive the filing fee. You can also call the clerk of court (or look online in some counties) to find out what the exact filing fee would be as it can vary from county to county or state to state. I wouldn't be surprised if it was $150, I also wouldn't be surprised if it was less either, don't let sticker shock keep you from doing what you need to do.

[Ref]

You can still have visitation and he can still have sole custody. It should be stated who has legal custody of your child on the custody papers. Take a look and see if it mentions who has custody or if it says that you have joint custody.

If he has sole custody, you can still fight because you have visitation rights. If he moves, you will not be able to exercise the visitation. It will make it a little harder.

Take care,
Ref

[Giggles]

When your son went to live with his father, was it through the courts or did you draw up your own agreement?  If it was filed through the courts, you need to read your copy carefully to see if it states:  Father has SOLE custody of child. 
This does not mean that you can't have visitation rights, it just means that the Father has the SOLE capability of deciding the best interests of the child. 
If your order states that the father has SOLE Physical and JOINT LEGAL...that's a WHOLE different story.  With having JOINT LEGAL, the father MUST include you in the decision making process for the child!!!

I do believe Ref is right...I would definately go and FILE for emergency custody because he DID NOT inform the state that he was moving, nor has he made arrangements for your visitation!

Hope this helps some!!

[ww88dew]

It was an agreement between us and his attorney drew up the papers.  The papers say that the parties agree that the father should be the " Primary Custodian" of the minor child with the mother having reasonable visitation and liberal phone contact.  If you ask me the order is very vague.  Any opinions on what that means.  I am sitting here waiting on a money gram to get to walmart so i can go pick it up and head my rear to carter county oklahoma which is 300 miles away to file these papers in the same court.  So i will take anyones opinions on what that means while i wait

[Giggles]

"Primary" is VERY different from "SOLE"!!

Get your butt to court now!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also....once you get the temp order...come back here for suggestions on an enforceable order.  Liberal orders like yours are NOT enforceable!!

Good Luck!!!

[Kitty C.]

Also, with what you described as the current custody order, whatever passport they obtained for your son was illegal.  As long as you have parental rights, your signature must also be on the passport application.  One thing you need to demand is that passport application, to see who signed it and when.  That doesn't need to be right away, as the emergency hearing needs to be done asap, so that they (father & his family) cannot move forward without approval of the court.  But it is definitely something you need to have verified.

[Giggles]

Any Updates??

Here is a great website!!

http://travel.state.gov/family/family_1732.html (http://travel.state.gov/family/family_1732.html)