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Right now my ex gets every other wkend as well as half the summer vacation, spring break every other year, half of winter break and the holidays are every other year. He is also to get him according to IN state guidelines one night a week but due to the distance that doesn't happen.

If the wkends were to be eliminated and distance as a factor put into place he would get every spring break, either half or all of every winter break and like 7 weeks of summer.

The thing is every time he has him any extended period of time he brings him home early - he does so b/c he claims my son gets homesick to see his sister which is true BUT I think it's also a convenient excuse for him to not have to deal with him!!

Thanks

I've been divorced for about 6 years (am now remarried). We have a son who is 7 1/2. We are in Indiana. When our divorce was final our son was just a baby so the typical IN Parenting Time Guidelines worked just fine for us. Now that he's older and involved in school activities, etc. they are not working so well. My ex lives approx. 1 hour 15 min. away from us. He picks up and drops off our son every other wkend. The only reason we do not share driving is b/c he has to go thru our town to pick up another son from his first marriage so he just does all the driving. There has, however, been times in the past when I've met him halfway.
That being said ~ my ex lives with his mother (who is 80 years olds). He has 3 children by 3 women ages 16, 7 (ours) and 4. He gets each of them on the same wkends. The problem is that instead of allowing our son to participate in his games, activities, etc. he forces visitation upon our son. I wouldn't have an issue with it at all if he actually was using this visitation time and not working the entire wkend. leaving our son with his 80 year old mother. He also insists that the children not be broken up - the 16 year old has taught our son things that don't need to be taught to a 7 year old. My ex also allows our son to watch R rated movies, play Grand Theft Auto on the XBox/Playstation, etc. I have kept my mouth shut for the most part b/c talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. But it's now affecting our son at school - he was just suspended last week for one day for cussing. The other brother cusses. Not to mention pushes my son around as he sees fit!
I have tried to speak with my ex in the past about all the above issues and even try to switch wkends. so our son is there when the older child is not or there when my ex is not working. He won't agree to this. He won't even agree with me offering to drive halfway both for pick up and drop off. I have copies of all the things I've sent him in the past regarding this issue.
My ex is not an active part of his life at all except for picking him up every other wkend. And like I said he works  most of the time. Same with summer, Xmas and Spring Break. Grandma cares for him. I've suggested enrolling him in daycamp, swimming lessons, etc. etc. - heck, I'd even be willing to pay, but ex won't agree to it.
Our son is ADHD and needs to be constantly challenged and kept busy in order to stay out of trouble. When he's idle he's a troublemaker!! That's why I've suggested enrolling him in summer activities. I've quit enrolling him in activities when he's with us b/c he is forced to miss half of everything if it's a wkend. game etc. Our son quit asking his father to switch wkends. and such or to come home early b/c the last time he asked to attend a Sun. afternoon bday party and my ex yelled at him and cussed at him saying it was HIS wkend. and he was his father and he demanded our son go with him and stay the entire time!!!!!! My ex even admitted to yelling at him over this...........
My ex doesn't come to anything school related, none of his dr. appt or any of his counseling appts. I even made the counseling appts. at HIS request so that the time frame would work out for him to come. He came ONCE.
I've sought advice from two attorneys - one said one thing, one said the other. I don't know what my chances of winning a case would be. I would really like to have his wkend. visitation stopped. One attorney told me that I could probably win this......since distance is a factor......see he drives approx. 60 miles to our hometown to get our son then another 60 miles to pick up the other son and then approx. 120 miiles back to his hometown. My son rides for at least 3 hours every other Fri. and then if he's dropped off first on Sun. another hour.
And of course every summer is nothing but drama b/c my ex demands to have this week or that week but yet NEVER gives me notice of his visitation intent by April 1. Again, this year April 1 came and went and he gave me nothing in writing over what weeks he wanted. Last year I took the first half of summer and gave him the last. He was to have our son 5 weeks and he returned him after 10 days!!!

If anyone can give me advice I'd appreciate it.

I'd also like to add I'm not one of those custodial parents who is trying to get dad out of the picture, demand more money or anything like that. I know I could get more child support and I'm also sucking up the entire cost of private school next year b/c it was MY choice to enroll him. I've given my ex so many opportunities to be a father and he lets our son down each time. He promises to show up to this or that and never does. I've offered him extra wkends, etc. when he's not working and he doesn't want it. He brings our son home early and such on long visitations. It's like he just wants him when it's convenient for HIM and only him. It's starting to hurt our son emotionally though b/c he sees his friends getting to participate in sports and such and he can't or has to miss half. It's also affecting him in school since he thinks what the 16 year old does is OK for him to do!!!!!!

I'll take any advice I can get and if I should just get over it........well let me know. I've kept my mouth shut this long.............

I've been divorced for about 6 years (am now remarried). We have a son who is 7 1/2. When our divorce was final our son was just a baby so the typical IN Parenting Time Guidelines worked just fine for us. Now that he's older and involved in school activities, etc. they are not working so well. My ex lives approx. 1 hour 15 min. away from us. He picks up and drops off our son every other wkend. The only reason we do not share driving is b/c he has to go thru our town to pick up another son from his first marriage so he just does all the driving. There has, however, been times in the past when I've met him halfway.
That being said ~ my ex lives with his mother (who is 80 years olds). He has 3 children by 3 women ages 16, 7 (ours) and 4. He gets each of them on the same wkends. The problem is that instead of allowing our son to participate in his games, activities, etc. he forces visitation upon our son. I wouldn't have an issue with it at all if he actually was using this visitation time and not working the entire wkend. leaving our son with his 80 year old mother. He also insists that the children not be broken up - the 16 year old has taught our son things that don't need to be taught to a 7 year old. My ex also allows our son to watch R rated movies, play Grand Theft Auto on the XBox/Playstation, etc. I have kept my mouth shut for the most part b/c talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. But it's now affecting our son at school - he was just suspended last week for one day for cussing. The other brother cusses. Not to mention pushes my son around as he sees fit!
I have tried to speak with my ex in the past about all the above issues and even try to switch wkends. so our son is there when the older child is not or there when my ex is not working. He won't agree to this. He won't even agree with me offering to drive halfway both for pick up and drop off. I have copies of all the things I've sent him in the past regarding this issue.
My ex is not an active part of his life at all except for picking him up every other wkend. And like I said he works  most of the time. Same with summer, Xmas and Spring Break. Grandma cares for him. I've suggested enrolling him in daycamp, swimming lessons, etc. etc. - heck, I'd even be willing to pay, but ex won't agree to it.
Our son is ADHD and needs to be constantly challenged and kept busy in order to stay out of trouble. When he's idle he's a troublemaker!! That's why I've suggested enrolling him in summer activities. I've quit enrolling him in activities when he's with us b/c he is forced to miss half of everything if it's a wkend. game etc. Our son quit asking his father to switch wkends. and such or to come home early b/c the last time he asked to attend a Sun. afternoon bday party and my ex yelled at him and cussed at him saying it was HIS wkend. and he was his father and he demanded our son go with him and stay the entire time!!!!!! My ex even admitted to yelling at him over this...........
My ex doesn't come to anything school related, none of his dr. appt or any of his counseling appts. I even made the counseling appts. at HIS request so that the time frame would work out for him to come. He came ONCE.
I've sought advice from two attorneys - one said one thing, one said the other. I don't know what my chances of winning a case would be. I would really like to have his wkend. visitation stopped. One attorney told me that I could probably win this......since distance is a factor......see he drives approx. 60 miles to our hometown to get our son then another 60 miles to pick up the other son and then approx. 120 miiles back to his hometown. My son rides for at least 3 hours every other Fri. and then if he's dropped off first on Sun. another hour.
And of course every summer is nothing but drama b/c my ex demands to have this week or that week but yet NEVER gives me notice of his visitation intent by April 1. Again, this year April 1 came and went and he gave me nothing in writing over what weeks he wanted. Last year I took the first half of summer and gave him the last. He was to have our son 5 weeks and he returned him after 10 days!!!

If anyone can give me advice I'd appreciate it.

I'd also like to add I'm not one of those custodial parents who is trying to get dad out of the picture, demand more money or anything like that. I know I could get more child support and I'm also sucking up the entire cost of private school next year b/c it was MY choice to enroll him. I've given my ex so many opportunities to be a father and he lets our son down each time. He promises to show up to this or that and never does. I've offered him extra wkends, etc. when he's not working and he doesn't want it. He brings our son home early and such on long visitations. It's like he just wants him when it's convenient for HIM and only him. It's starting to hurt our son emotionally though b/c he sees his friends getting to participate in sports and such and he can't or has to miss half. It's also affecting him in school since he thinks what the 16 year old does is OK for him to do!!!!!!

I'll take any advice I can get and if I should just get over it........well let me know. I've kept my mouth shut this long.............

I thought my post was pretty easy to follow and self-explanatory. Apparently not.............

Basically as I said before my husband's ex wife moved from IN to FL to "take a new job". She claims she could not find work here in IN but my husband knows that she was plotting this even during their marriage. She wanted to take the son as far away as possible. She still wants to suck child support and any other dime she can out of us but does NOT want to allow the son contact with my husband via phone or in person.

IN state guidelines state that we are to have "reasonable phone contact". A previous poster stated than unless it's directly written into the decree that it was a non-issue that my husband has gone for 6 weeks without them answering the phone, they won't return calls, etc. That is reasonable? I think not!!!

We are not pushing to have Christmas, Spring Break and half the summer which is dictated by the divorce decree - my husband merely wants to speak to him weekly via phone and visit with him when the ex returns to IN to visit her parents. No, my husband has not driven or flown down there and if you people are so eager to know why it's b/c his ex TOOK the son down there......why should we have to pay to visit? Not to mention she has brainwashed him. The son tells my husband he hates him, he left them for another woman (me - which by the way is not true....we met SIX MONTHS after their separation) and forced his mother to have to go back to work full time (boo freaking hoo!). He also has told my husband he hopes he dies, etc. etc. etc.

I'm not sure why people on here are posting that the jurisdiction follows the son. I don't think so. I know for a fact that is not true! I merely asked if we could switch from one county in IN to another county in IN (the one in which we now reside). I asked nothing about jurisdiction following them, etc. etc.

We DO plan on finding legal counsel b/c as of right now we are not paying her a dime towards the braces. It does not list orthodontics in the divorce decree, it was a cosmetic issue not something that was needed and the lazy b*** didn't even call to tell us first!!!!!!

We are not trying to enforce the visitation we have which is all of Xmas Break, all of Spring Break and half of summer vacation. We ARE however trying to enforce the part that says hubby can visit with him when they come back to this area.

I can't imagine that she's allowed to NOT answer the phone for weeks on end? As in 4-6 weeks of leaving messages and she's not required to answer or call back. I don't think so. Indiana State Guidelines say resonable phone contact and reasonable is NOT having to call the police for a well child check after they don't answer for 6 straight weeks of leaving messages.

The decree says that dental is covered by not orthodontics and she did not contact us first about this. She racked up a 4,000.00 bill for braces and never asked if we even had insurance. That's so wrong! Plus it's a COSMETIC issue, not something that is 100% necessary!

Why would the jurisdiction follow the Mom in another state when the divorce was granted in IN and hubby lives in In? Why would jurisdiction follow her? I moved away from my ex - still within the same state however - and jurisdiction sure didn't follow with me!

At any rate we are seeking new legal counsel and and going over our options. I will say that hubby is NOT willingly gonna pay for the braces at this point!!!

Been a lurker here for years but never posted...

In the sake of not having to retype all of this......I had posted this on another forum and am just going to copy and paste here...this is in regards to my husband, his ex and their son who is 10. We live in IN, they moved to FL. And we no longer live in the county (in IN) where the divorce was granted.
2 years ago she moved 1,000 miles away just to keep dh away from his son who is now 10, almost 11. I've never seen such a controlling, mean-spirted vindictive person in my entire life! He's seen his son once for 2 hours in the entire 2 years! She won't allow him to call and if so he calls collect (OK he called ONCE in 2 years). She claims she doens't have a cell and can't afford phone calls. She travels back here every few mos. and then lies and says she doesn't. She doesn't even tell dh so that he could see his son during that time. 5,000 has already been spent in attorney fees by my dh. She had him in counseling when she lived back here and dh only saw him on Wed. nites and every other wkend. on Sat. only for about 4 hours b/c she conned the counselor into thinking it was my dh that was the problem with the son's emotional state and well being. Funny now that she's lived away for 2 years and dh has seen him for 2 hours in that time frame and can maybe get them to answer the phone maybe once a month if that to talk for maybe 1-2 min. It's funny how dh is not even in his life anymore (except for the money she sucks out of our home every week in CS) but we get a package in the mail today with bills that dh supposedly owes on......and get this........there's copies of 4,000 in dental bills (braces) and tons and tons of receipts for scripts and dr. visits. I haven't even added them up yet. These go back to the beginning of LAST YEAR and now she wants her cut. She told him in Dec. that she had braces put on him but never told dh BEFORE she did it to ask if we had insurance on him or anything. That's bull!! She also claimed that he has ZERO mental issues or behavioral issues at all since he's moved. Funny though son slipped up and told dh that he had to switch schools b/c he was being bullied. Also, in this PILE and I mean pile of scripts receipts there's scrips for 7 drugs, FIVE of which are psych meds!!! She's had him on at least 5 psych meds since Jan. 2008!!!! Yep, dh was the problem all along, huh???

So, this is how my lovely day got interrupted.......with the mail lady bringing this pile of crap for me to sign as proof the b**** mailed it to us. And of course after whatever she is supposed to pay yearly out of pocket my dh has split 50/50 with her!

I'm thinking it's attorney time again..........!!!! Dh doesn't even want to force his son to come see him for extended visits if he doesn't want to but this b**** won't even allow phone calls or visits with son when they are in our area!!! That's all he's asking for and she makes that tough! Then just drops a pile of several thousand dollars in bills on us and just expects us to cough that crap up. What in the hell gives her the right to NOT say a word to dh about taking him to a psych and putting him on all these meds and the crap with the ortho and the braces and then just dumping that crap on us???
My questions are:
1. Should we modify the court order to say that she MUST say before she goes out and racks up major med bills that she has to TELL us BEFOREHAND?
2. Can we transfer the court case to the county in IN we currently live in since neither party resides in the original county
3. Will hubby even have to pay the bills since she never said anything to him first?
4. Will we have to pay for the braces at all since the decree doesn't say squat about orthodontics???

Thanks for any help I can get.....