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Topics - StPaulieGirl

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Shrink Rap / Some advice is needed regarding kid's father
« on: Dec 31, 2003, 11:35:31 AM »
Oh this is going to take forever to type.

Quick backround:  My ex and I were married for 19 years, and have 4 kids who are 24, 21, 16, and 9.  It was hell on earth for all of us, except the youngest one.  It took me 7 years to get away from him. Their father devalued the 2 oldest, while spoiling the 2 youngest.  Well I finally called the cops on him, and he moved out.  He fit the clinical definition of a sociopath years ago, and now exhibits Narcissistic Personality Disorder behaviors.

I won't address his constant cheating while we were married, however after we separated he had a different woman every time the kids saw their father.  The now 16 year old boy (unfortunately I believe he has the same problems as his father) exploded one day in a rage, and called his father a slut.  This was in front of two of his sisters and brother in law.  The boy proceeded to wreck some furniture.  Yes, I've tried psychiatrists and psychologists after the separation, but it's too late.

After dating countless numbers of women, he found one and moved in with her, her parents, and her kids.  She, unfortunately is an enabler.  He fed her some of the most absurd lies, which caused her to call Social Services on me.  Unfortunately for my ex, the boy spilled the beans on him, citing his personality change(talks different, dresses different, got rid of all his possesions, gave the bongs to the 21 yr old, got rid of a 35 yr old record collection, etc) upon announcing his decision to move in with his now wife.  The kids had only met her once before, before he made this decision.  Basically the kids blew the whistle on him.  The social worker barged into my house, which I now know is illegal, and basically told me I needed some moral support.  I called the worker several times about the conditions in their father's new residence, until finally a man called me back and told me to seek legal help regarding my ex, and that they were closing the investigation.  This took place 2 years after our divorce.  I'm trying to do this chronologically, but it's hard.

We went through mediation, and my attorney tried to set up a fair visitation schedule for him.  I found this attorney through the local domestic violence shelter, and she understood that I was scared to death of him.  I was so disgusted with him at that meeting, that I went outside and had a cigarette.  You see, he's too busy and important to stick to a regular visitation schedule.  My attorney gave him 2 weeks in the summer anyway.  Later she told me that in all her years of practice, she's never seen a father behave like that.

Those 2 weeks every summer?  It's been 3 years since our divorce was final, and guess how many weeks he's taken?  ONE!  Look, I think he's emotionally damaging the kids, and would prefer that he fall off the face of the earth, but the 9 yr old, until recently, thought the sun rose and set on daddy.  So we all tried to keep our mouths shut about his outrageous behavior.

The latest thing to hit the fan has all the kids angry at him.  Here's what he wrote to me November 2nd:

"I will be out of town Dec 19-26, so can I please have the kids for xmas after the 26th for a week.  I cannot change my plans and would appreciate the switch in days.  Pleas let me know so I can plan accordingly.  Please write and let me know.  Thanx ****"

That was his scheduled time for Christmas visitation this year.  Why didn't HE PLAN ACCORDINGLY?  

You'll all just love this:  He sent postcards to the kids.  Bass Lake is absolutely beautiful.  He sent a scenic pic to the 9 yr old girl, and a pic of 3 lovely ladies in teeny bikinis to the 16 yr old boy.  The 9 yr old balled up her fists, and started screaming about him not taking her there.  I had kind of lied and said that he might be out of town on a business trip, so when she saw that postcard she knew that he was having a beautiful vacation without her.  The older kids were equally pissed off, because daddy never took us anywhere like that.  Like I said earlier, he underwent a personality change.  The 21 yr old started calling him "the artist formerly known as daddy".

My oldest and her husband agreed to drive the 2 youngest kids to their father's house on the 27th.  The kids will stay there until the day before school starts, or he gets tired of them.  They spent the night, then continued on to see the 21 yr old, her bf, and their baby.  I got an earful when the oldest and my son in law came over the next evening.  Understand that we lived like refugees.  I could never understand how a mfg engineer working for Northrop Grumman made such little money that we couldn't afford curtains or decent carpet.  Nevermind the leaky water heater and dangerous electric wiring.  My girl told me that he basically rubbed her nose in it.  His 269,000 brand new home, his paintings, all he did was talk about all his bling bling and how much everything costs!  My girl started crying at that point because he didn't even ask them about how they were doing, and why does he hate us so much?  

At that point, my son in law told me to take his ass back to court and to the cleaners.  He was furious when my girl/his wife started crying.  I'd rather not go back to court, at this time.

Well, I guess he can still make the older girls cry.  I won't go into how cruel he's been to the 21 yr old.  I've asked them to just quietly cut off contact, because it's hurting them.

Even though it's too late for the older kids(unless they seek it themselves), I'm wondering if therapy will help my youngest one.  If anyone has any suggestions on how to handle their father, I'd appreciate it.  One more thing...his lawyer told the judge, when asked who would take care of the QDRO, that they would take care of it.  I asked my tax advisor, who does both our taxes and decides who claims the kids every year, if I should do something about that.  He emailed me back and told me to do it yesterday.  He's plundering his retirement account, I guess.  One more lie he'll probably get away with.

Unfortunately I had several emotionally upsetting incidents last year, and my heart is kind of going bonkers.  I went to the doctor a couple of days ago, and my pulse was back up to 110.  The Prozac had brought it down to 89, so they doubled my dosage.  I just don't need this crap.

Dear Socrateaser / Preemptive strike against school district
« on: Jan 28, 2004, 02:39:14 PM »
First of all we reside in CA. The budget debacle is being felt by everyone, especially the schools. I'm going to try and explain a possible problem as efficiently as possible, so please bear with me.

Separated in '99, divorced in '00.  Ex filed first and gave me total custody of the two youngest kids.  They are 16 and 9, plus we have 2 other daughters who are 24 and 21.

The ex has been physically abusive, and continues to mentally abuse us.  He is also a pathological liar, which is the basis for my problem.  The female who he was able to hoodwink(the number of gf's that the kids have met for 3 yrs is just unbelievable) is a 4th grade schoolteacher.  Being a schoolteacher, she is also a mandatory reporter to CPS.  He told her that I never cooked, I didn't buy food, that I'm a drunk, and that the house is filthy.  A social worker showed up at my door Sept. 15th, 2002 and barged into the house.  It was untidy, there were dishes in the sink...yeah if there's no food in the house, why do we have dishes that have to be washed????  

I think what saved us is that I was a court appointed, bonded conservator on my mom's behalf, serving the Superior Court.  My mom had Alzheimer's and dementia, and that's why we moved down here to the family mausoleum.  Also, without my knowledge or permission, this social worker interviewed both children at school.  The boy spilled the beans on dear old dad, but my baby doesn't want to go to school anymore.  This last sentence is extremely important!

In December, I received a phone call from CPS notifying me that they were closing the case, and advised me to hire an attorney against my ex husband.  He and his gf got married in a hasty Las Vegas ceremony, soon after.

Several months after this happened, their father exercised his legal right to access the kids school records.  My daughter's attitude and performance started an even further decline.  Unfortunately, while we were married (for 19 years), he never was involved with the kids schooling.  I did it all.  I'd like to see a judge make him recite just one teacher for each of the 4 kids.  

My son has problems and no one will come out and say exactly what his problem is.  He's been to several psychiatrists, private psychologists, school pyschologists, etc.  He had problems while he was still in diapers, and the paperwork on him since kindergarten would wallpaper my house.  He's violent at times, and definitely passive aggressive.

At his first IEP meeting of the year, I had to reschedule due to illness.  I told his guidence counselor over the phone that this whole thing is a waste of time and school resources.  The boy doesn't even have a GPA!  He's 16, he can get a job.  When he's tired of sweeping floors and digging ditches, maybe then he'll see the value of an education.

My son and I attended an IEP meeting at a later date, designed to try and intimidate me several months ago.  the whole crux of the matter is not that they care about my son, like the kids school district back home did, but that if his butt isn't warming a chair....they don't get paid.  They told me it was illegal for him to quit school, and when I retorted that I'd homeschool him, they said there wasn't anything available in this area.

I swear these people are socialists!  Anyway, my son hurt himself over Christmas visitation with his father.  The doctor thinks it's a bruised, or maybe a hairline fractured back rib. It is well documented that his absences due to illness and injury have always been above average.  The little one purposely drags her feet in the morning, and ends up late.  I have addressed this problem with her teachers, asking them to bench her during recess, or after school detention.  They tried to gang up on me, so I politely explained that not only have I been a parent for 25 years, and I've never had a child who was afraid to go to school until now.

My mom passed away in September, and as soon as I can claw my way through probate, we're moving back home.  I've read up on quite a bit of information about what CPS can and cannot do, and I want to protect myself and my children.  What their father doesn't understand is that because of his damned lies, those kids could be kidnapped and placed in foster homes.  He won't get them, and he will be hit for child support from the state for foster care.

What do I do to protect my family?  Should I hire an attorney?  Yank the kids out of public school?

If you've read this far, bless you.  I know it's long, but I wanted to give you as much information as possible.  

General Issues / Is anyone familiar with police reports?
« on: Sep 11, 2004, 10:24:45 AM »
I know you can't fight City Hall, so maybe this is just a rant.

Some of you might remember that I mentioned my youngest daughter being in an accident on August 13th.  Well the police report is finally done.  I'm back down here to do some packing, so my daughter read a portion of the police report to me over the phone, until I told her to stop.  

They're blaming the whole thing on the driver of the truck my girl was in!  When my daughter (the almost 22 yr old) got to the part where the driver reeked of alcohol, I told her to stop.  On the night of the accident, Jessica went out to dinner with my daughter's fiance's brother.  They had a margarita with dinner.  Then they stayed at my daughter's place for several hours until he took his daughter back to his ex gf's.  At that point, Jessica and my youngest decided to spend the night at her house.  No alcohol was consumed at my daughter's house.  3 adults will testify to that.  It is the truth.

I received a call from a witness at the accident scene telling me the little one was in an accident.  His phone cut out, but not before I heard my girl howling in the backround.  I called my daughter to get out there and see what was going on.  Okay, my daughter called Jessica's parents at the scene, and told them what happened.  Her father called back the next day and and said that they took a blood sample at the scene and she tested positive for alcohol.  One drink, 4 hours before, and it still registers?  Well okay.  He also said, this was all told to my daughter btw, that he knew a lot of people and would pull some strings.

Yeah, that asshole pulled some strings alright.  I finally spoke to him last night.  He's telling me that he examined the skid marks and he could tell right away that it was Jessica's fault.  My little one's stubborn, unchanging memory of the events is faulty.  Then he tells me that she's moving to Nevada or Arizona to get a license.  Earth to Larry, that ain't gonna happen and you know it.

Just to help anyone reading this make sense of what I'm getting at, let me tell you some things about Jessica's parents.  Apparently Jessica was not a wanted child.  She was treated pretty badly.  A couple of things came back to me while I was on the phone with her father.  One was the time that Jessica's brother beat her up.  I think he dragged her by her hair over the carpet, and she had to have stitches in her lips.  Her mother lied about what happened to a police officer in the emergency room.  Jessica's lips were so swollen, she couldn't talk.  Mom's excuse was that it might affect her employment as a teacher.  I remember when Jessica came over the next day and told me what happened.  Even better, her father and brother at a later date pushed her buttons until her redheaded temper shot through the roof.  They then restrained her and had her admitted to the county psych ward for a 3 day vacation.  That's when she moved in with me.

She graduated a year ahead of schedule with honors.  She is a plumber and bought a tiny house at age 20.  When she lived with me, she not only helped my son with his homework, but also taught my youngest to read.  I didn't get off work until 9pm, which was their bedtime.  She even remodeled the bathroom.  Her parents financed both her brother and sister's college tuition, but they told Jessica to go pound sand.  There are a million other charming episodes, but these I remember.  That poor kid has been trying to prove herself to her parents for as long as I've known her, and all they do is kick her to the curb.

Back to the police report.  Reeking of alcohol?  Try a broken bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume that was in the cab of the truck.  Peeeeeuuuu! What is the stabilizing ingredient in perfume?  ALCOHOL!  BAC?  There wasn't one on the report!!!  There is not one damn thing about Jessica having a drop of alcohol in her blood stream.  It took almost a whole month to come up with this fairytale?  F.U. Larry.  

Is there anything we can do?  Emergency personnel are not going to remember smelling perfume in a multi-car collision.  The emergency rooms that they went to are jam packed with people 24/7.  They won't remember.

Some of you might be saying that I shouldn't care about this.  Well think about this:  We are staying with my daughter until we can find affordable housing.  My little one left her sister's house with Jessica.  The police report is a crock of shit, but an official report nonetheless.  What happens if my ex and Satan's little helper get their hands on this?

Yep, it turned into a rant.  Thank you for reading this, and if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.  

General Issues / The Most Beautiful Sight in the World?
« on: May 26, 2004, 01:14:49 AM »
An Eighteen wheeler Mayflower moving van carrying the neighbor from hell....far, far away!

Less then 36 hours later, the cinderblocks came off my chest.  Two weeks after that, the ice cream truck started coming down the street.  Hell, next thing you know, all these kids will be out on the street playing football!  Thank you God!!!

It's funny.  The "community service officer", who ordered the little one to let him in the house, and stood staring at me while I was sleeping in my bed, is the same person.  The last time he showed up at my door, I involked the magic words...violation of my constitutional rights(and those are?), my civil rights, and three years worth of harassment.   Haven't seen twinkie boy since.  Two weeks later, the psychobitch from hell moved.

There is a God after all....

On a really bad note, Angus died from being shot full of holes.  For those of you that don't know, he was our cat.  We had him for 9 years.  The dog treed him on my son's 7th birthday.  After we finally found him, my son wrapped him up and put him in bed with him.  Angus died that night.  I never want to hear Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" again....

General Issues / Update on Terri Schiavo
« on: Mar 29, 2004, 10:08:26 PM »

If anyone is interested in Terri's fight for her life, this thread from FR has up to date info.  The latest is that this poor girl has a bedsore and has lost 2 teeth.  This is the judge you don't want hearing your custody case!

Sigh....guess I'm going to have to do some more emails.

Note:  I am not a shill for Free Republic.  I post off their website to save bandwith on SPARC.

General Issues / Yet Another Gripe Post...maybe someone can help?
« on: Mar 20, 2004, 04:25:16 AM »
I've been up for a couple of hours.  The neighbor from hell called the cops on us yet again....this time because my son and his friends got bored and decided to dig a "bunker" out in the backyard.  Finally, he's doing something normal!

The cops are cool, because she's called them on us for like 100 times in the last 3 years.  I can't fix the fence because the asshole for a lawyer won't let me.  I guess he feels that might cut into his profits.  However, the cops do need to show up., because it's their job.  The fence is rotten and falling down. It's been that way for 15 plus years.  Our backyard has an alley access, and my son informed me that the "block captain"(you're next, you witch)has been cruising down that alley checking out our backyard.  Word on the street is that she's friends with pyschotica.

Hey everybody, I've had it with that neighbor.  I can't even work in my front flower garden without her running out and picking miniscule weeds...always watching.  I bought some plants.....she hops in her car and buys plants, and sits there fussing over them while she's watching us.

My question is....how many months in jail will I get for dropkicking her wrinkled ugly rear end in the middle of the street?  Maybe I should pose this question to socrateaser....

This next installment will deal with how I got screwed by Los Angeles County MediCal....3k and counting.

General Issues / Martha Stewart Has Been Found Guilty
« on: Mar 06, 2004, 12:10:35 PM »
I know SPARC isn't a hotbed of Martha Stewart fans, but I am curious as to what kind of sentence she might receive for her horrible crimes.

There is a thread on FR that's almost hitting 1500 replies.  Most of them gleeful high fives on her conviction.  Technically, she's looking at up to 20 years!

In light of the sentences people get for maiming, beating, and killing children,  will Martha Stewart get a longer sentence for a bungled stock transaction?  Although this was in the UK, I happened to read a story about this guy who ordered his pit bull to kill another dog.  After the cops showed up, he tried to get the dog to attack police officers.  He then kicked out the patrol car window.  He received one year suspended sentence.  The dog was adopted out to another family.  This is the second incident regarding this person ordering his dog to attack.  The first man suffered bites to his face, nose, and either his neck or arm.

So, will Martha's punishment fit her crime?  What I find really strange about this whole thing, is that Martha is a friend of Hillary.  She donates large amounts of money to Democratic candidates.  Folks like that usually don't get thrown to the wolves.

For the record, I like Martha's shows and magazine.  She's given me a lot of inspiration over the years.  Yes, I've heard all the stories about what a horrible person she is in real life, but I never have to worry about my kids watching her show, or looking through her magazines.  In fact I've saved every MSL magazine that I've purchased.  Great reference material.

General Issues / The Logical Result of Gay Marriages
« on: Feb 29, 2004, 09:48:05 AM »

Who Gets Custody of the Kids When Dad & Dad Divorce?
Tuesday February 24, 3:02 pm ET
Gay Marriage Uproar Pushes Need for Gay Family Rights; Legal Expert Jill Hersh Can Comment on Spectrum of Gay Marriage & Family Law

SAN FRANCISCO, CA--(MARKET WIRE)--Feb 24, 2004 -- Who: Prominent San Francisco Family Law Attorney Jill Hersh is available for commentary on the impact that gay marriage, and subsequent divorces, will have on the need for updated laws to protect the rights of gay parents and their children.
What: While gay couples were tying the knot in San Francisco, Hersh delivered her argument to the Calif. Appellate Court (Friday, February 20) concerning two lesbian mothers who are fighting over custody of their twin daughters. The couple shared the in vitro fertilization process; one supplied the ovum, the other carried the twins to term. Hersh wants the court to recognize that the children can in fact have two biological mothers. The court's decision could dramatically impact the law as it relates to domestic partners, particularly gay couples who start families using reproductive technologies.

Topics for Discussion:

--  What's going to happen to newly-married gay couples if there is an
    amendment to the Constitution to ban gay marriages?

--  As gay couples marry and start families will the law recognize their
    rights as parents?  What about the children's rights?

--  How are children of gay couples currently harmed by today's antiquated

--  What changes need to be made to the law to ensure that both parents
    are legally protected when they start a family?

--  Is the cry over gay marriage just another campaign "sound byte" in
    this election year?

     For interviews with attorney Jill Hersh of Hersh FamilyLaw contact:
     Lisa Byrne
     Shelly Gordon

Source: Hersh FamilyLaw
_________________________________________________ __________

Seriously what do these lawyers do on their off time?

I'm envisioning a number of thirteen gathered around a sacred fire under a full moon.  They are discussing the fact that people just aren't getting married as often.  The men especially are backing off from marriage and fatherhood, thanks to their manipulation of marriage, divorce, and custody.  Bashomet has a brilliant idea to not only keep themselves in business, but also to foment civil unrest and ruin even more children's lives.

"We'll push for gay marriage!  Think about it, my brothers and sisters; they've managed to adopt children, or have them artifically, already.  We're starting to see a trickle of court cases with hysterical nancy boys and screaming dykes demanding "their" children.  With marriage  there will come divorce and custody wars!  Everyone knows that gays have more disposable income than straight folks, so we're gonna tap those wallets, baby"!

Lisa, Shelly, Gloria and Hillary briefly stop filing their teeth into sharp points, to nod and smile at this most excellent idea.  Mark Geragos already is one step ahead of his coven.  He's representing a non sexual.

Yeah, I'm in a bad mood today.

General Issues / Young Kennedy Keeps Up Family Traditions
« on: Feb 29, 2004, 09:07:45 AM »
Apologies to anyone here who loves the Kennedy family, but this is too funny!


Young Kennedy keeps up family tradition By Howie Carr Recent Columns by Howie Carr Sunday, February 29, 2004

The question now is not if, but when Robert F. Kennedy III will run for Congress.

He's only 19, but in Leominster the boy showed his true mettle as he became the first of his generation to hear those words that all Kennedy males must listen to as their rite of passage into adulthood:

``Mr. Kennedy, you have the right to remain silent. . . .''

A week ago tonight, Bobby the Third made his bones, and now, let the word go forth to a new generation that still more scions of Camelot are ready to pose that eternal Kennedy question.

``Do you know who I am?''

Once again the books are open in the Kennedy Crime Family. How proud Uncle Teddy, especially, must be of his great-nephew. Hands shaking, Teddy sips Jim Beam and beams as he reads the words in the police report:

``Indecent exposure . . . public urination . . . marijuana . . . drug paraphernalia . . . knife . . . suspended driver's license.''

The only traditional Kennedy flourish missing from the Leominster PD report is a dead girl in the trunk.

The boy goes to Brown University, which is apparently to the 21st century Kennedys what Harvard was to those of the 20th. It still puzzles the Leominster police exactly what Bobby III and his two friends were doing in Leominster at midnight. I can only think of one possible reason, but since they were already holding a bag of what the police describe as a ``green leafy substance,'' I guess the logical explanation doesn't apply.

And what's up with the sudden decision by Bobby to relieve himself, al fresco?

I mean, there's a 24-hour Denny's nearby, and heading north toward Fitchburg they'd have passed a couple more late-night restaurants.

But for some reason, boy Kennedy pulls Mom's car over to the curb, and a patrolling cop quickly notices that traffic is backing up behind it. The cop drives toward the Kennedy-mobile and this was his first confirmed sighting:

``Mr. Kennedy was exposing his genitals while urinating towards North Main Street. Furthermore, Mr. Kennedy was urinating in front of the above vehicle which was illuminating him.''

And you thought Cong. Patches Kennedy was a moron. Even Patches knows enough to stagger off into the bushes, or at least turn off the headlights. But Bobby III is yet another generation further removed from the criminal genius of the family patriarch, old man Joe.

Fortunately for Bobby, in Leominster they indeed do know who he was. The next morning, he appeared in district court before Judge John Curran - a former member of the State Parole Board during the glorious Willie Horton era. Judge Curran contributed $100 to the Dukakis for President Committee, and after a nationwide search, the Duke handed him a lifetime sinecure on the bench. Not a bad return on a C note.

Last Monday, Judge Curran only did what you would expect a hack judge to do - he handed Kennedy what amounted to a furlough, and not of the weekend variety either, like the ones the DOC gave Willie Horton. Bobby III just had to pay $100 - again, not a bad return on a C note.

So what does Bobby III do for an encore? Surely a safe U.S. House seat can be purchased somewhere in New York for him - Carolyn Maloney's? Anthony Weiner's? Waive the age requirement - don't they know who he is?

First Al Gore III. Now Bobby Kennedy III. At least, as one wag noted last week, we'll never have to worry about a Barney Frank [related, bio] III.

( Howie Carr's radio show can be heard every weekday afternoon on WRKO-AM 680, WHYN-AM 560, WGAN-AM 560, WEIM-AM 1280 and WXTK-FM 95.1. )

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