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Dear Socrateaser / Please help.
« on: Dec 09, 2006, 02:45:29 PM »
Last night BM was killed in a car accident. BM had sole custody, we had standard visitation and DH paid child support. My question is do we automatically get custody? I believe that her family would fight us on this...can they? What is the likely hood that they could get custody? We are in WA. Any info would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Socrateaser / CP going to jail
« on: Sep 05, 2005, 01:28:23 PM »
If BM who is the CP goes to jail (It is a HUGE possibility!) she will try to not tell us and just let her parents have SD, but...

1)  Can we (NCP) get temporary custody while BM is in jail?

2)What would we have to do to make that happen, if we can?

Dear Socrateaser / Subpoena
« on: Aug 21, 2005, 09:20:10 PM »

Case is in WA.

We need to file a contempt and are going to have to do it without the help of an attorney.

Can we subpoena information (IE. therapist bill, landlord statements, etc.) without an attorney?

If so, how do we go about doing so?

Thank you!

Dear Socrateaser / Have you heard of this?
« on: Aug 09, 2005, 10:11:47 PM »
We are in WA.

Our attorney called today to say that now that our final parenting plan is in place he is going to file the paper work with the court to withdrawl as our attorney.  He went on to state that this is a formality and he is in no way "firing" us as clients and if something else comes up he would represent us.  

He knows that there will be in the NEAR future a contempt that we will need help with and I guess that is what has us so confused...

Is this common practice?  I have never heard of this.

Dear Socrateaser / What do we need?
« on: Aug 02, 2005, 11:03:59 PM »
Dear Soc,
We are in WA.  
I am wondering what we need to prove CP interference with NCP's time?  
Short of straight up denying visits with a "NO" she does EVERYTHING else!  She calls SD (7) and puts these massive guilt trips on her.  She tells her she HAS TO call everyday or she is "in trouble"  SD will call w/o BM knowing and ask to spend time with us, BM ok's it and then when SD gets home she gets in trouble for wanting to spend time with us.  This is all on tape (she knows she is being taped, attorney said to and to tell her due to false allegations)  
When DH and I reminded her of pick up for our 1 week summer visit, she 1st denied us because we "did not notify her"  we sent her certified mail (with dates times and contact numbers) that she failed to pick up and/or refused, we told her it was at post office. We also sent a copy to attorney who then forwarded to her council.  Then she said "we failed to give her 30 days notice"  That is not stated in the PP.  Then when we went to pick up SD she wouldn't let her go because we wouldn't give her the contact number again, we didn't have it with us.  
Needless to say our attorney was able to give it to us, and she let her go, AFTER telling SD that DH was going to lose her at the airport (he took her to GA~also in PP. )
Do we have to continue to go through all this drama, and not so much even for us, but does SD have to keep going through all of this.  We stay calm, but SD sees that BM is "upset" and "we upset her"
Also, DH is in GA and according to our PP.  "each parent shall have 1 uninterrupted week with the exception of reasonable phone contact of 1 call per week. When a parent takes SD out of state she has to call the other parent everynight.  Now DH and SD have been gone less than 24 hours and BM has already called me 2 times and called DH once, AFTER SD called her for the night.  It makes it really difficult for them to have a good time after BM guilt trips SD a prime example, tonight she started crying while talking to SD because she "missed her so much"  how is that supposed to make a 7 yr. old feel.  Needless to say her"stomach hurt" for a good part of the night.
Is there anything we can do about this?...
There is SO much more to this miserable situation, this is just a wink...

Dear Socrateaser / How to proceed?
« on: Jun 13, 2005, 01:36:50 AM »
Dear Soc,
I will try to outline the important points.  We live in WA state.

My DH and I have been trying to get reasonable visitation for my 7yr old SD.  Due to lack of good representation, this has dragged on for the last 3 yrs. (Now have competent representation)

Everytime DH and SD spend any amount of time together, BM pulls her away and makes excuses for no visitation. We had SD 2 days and nights a week and every other weekend which worked out great!  This was not a court order yet, we were waiting for the court date.  Mom decided to take away weekday visits because this is "disruptive" to SD.

Now we get to the meat...SD has missed over 60 days of school this year and been tardy over 40 times. (With us, she was tardy 1x) Mom blames tardies on SD "behavior problems"  SD has no bx issues at school or else where.  She was not even enrolled in school for 2 mo. She has changed schools 3 times and just got caught up in reading, (due to DH working with her) she was VERY far behind! (we have daily attendance records)

BM has moved over 7 times in the last 3 years, just abandoning the residences. ( Have letters from prior residences)  Moves w/out notifiying DH.  BM disappeared for 1 1/2 yrs while DH went TDY for military.  No phone # either, now stating DH choose not to see daughter.

BM can't keep a job, can't stay on state assistance (won't participate with program requirements)

BM states major issues with DH "not caring about SD safety" "not putting her in a car seat."  BM has 17 muni court issues including hit and run and false reporting, not wearing a seat belt, no ins. speeding etc...

BM calls police and makes false reports against DH that include 4 degree aggr. assult. (requested police report)

BM calls SD while visiting and tries to manipulate her into wanting to come home (have taped conversations)  We went to a therapist and have pages and pages of "my mommy said"... IE "if I like you and be nice to you then I have to live with you and you won't take care of me and I will never see her again" "Dad is consistant and is progressing well with visits"(documented)

The list is endless.  The 1st commisioner saw through the crud and told her to stop trying to turn daughter against DH.
2nd comissioner believed every single lie.  We requested reconsideration hearing.  

We now get SD 1 day a week for 4 hours and every other weekend, and every other holiday.  DH can only call SD 1x a week!  

We are devastated.  SD is so confused, and feels so guilty for spending time with us.

What else can we do?
How do we proceed?
Please help!  And thank you!

General Issues / The nerve...
« on: Jul 21, 2005, 12:16:40 AM »
DH, SD and DD were in a car accident 2 days ago.  DH was hurt, but not to terribly and girls were fine, a HUGE blessing!  We called BM to let her know what happened and that all was well.  She calls almost 2 hours later to see if SD was okay.  SD tells her that she "hurt her back a little" and that she had a headache (that she had complained about in the morning) we asked the girls 4 different times if they were hurting anywhere "NO" also had them do the neck back check, nothing.  Of course now this is a HUGE deal.  BM's mom calls, now it is apparently SD back, neck and head and they need to pick up SD immediately! (30 min until end of visit) DH called BM explained that she was fine and told her all that we did.  BM told SD to tell us that she needed ice pack and headache meds until she got here.  I gave her some children's advil and an ice pack and talked to her about lying.  She finally admitted that she lied to her mom and that she was not hurt.  BM shows up 10 min. LATE, (where is all that concern?) she BANGS on the door snatches SD (SD is 7 and she still carries her like she is 1 or 2)  I ask SD if there is something she has to say to BM.  She tells her, BM ignores us and leaves.  I ran outside to tell her that I gave SD some advil so don't give her anymore.  This IDIOT tells me SD is allergic to ibuprofin.  DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US THIS?  
DH calls to check on SD yesterday and finally he talks to BM's mom she tells him that SD broke out in a rash they gave her allergy meds and she is okay, but watch what we give her...eeeggghhhh.  (granted it was 40 min before mom came and another 20 min home before the "rash" showed up?...I don't think so!)  He asked to have SD call, no return call, suprise!
We got SD today so I asked her if she got a rash.  She says "no" "well I got some bumps right here (under armpit) and right here on my face (chin) she had a good rest of the visit as she usually does.  She even told her therapist today that she "loves it when she spends time with dad, SM and SS."  Pretty interesting for someone that "misses home so much she doesn't like to spend time at your house"  HAHAHA...
Thanks for letting me vent... this is just one piece to the series of unfortunate events that we experience here ;)

Visitation Issues / And so it goes...
« on: Dec 20, 2005, 09:00:12 PM »
So we are on Christmas break with SD.  We get her until Christmas day @ 10.  BM has been calling EVERYDAY, 2 and 3 times a day to my phone and 2 and 3 times to DH phone.  She won't leave a message either.  SD called her last night, and guess who didn't call her back?!  Yep, you guessed it~ the best mom in WA state!  Our PP states the following (in the "other provisions" part)...
"Each party may have reasonable phone contact with the child, of one phone call per week."

Now to me that says that while SD is here this week, she(BM) can call her 1 time 1 day.  Is this correct, or are we interpeting it wrong?

Do we ignore her calls even though she is annoying the crap out of us, or remind her of the parenting plan?

I am so sick and tired of her and her double standards, we have to follow the rules, not her.  I feel a court date comming on!!!

Visitation Issues / Steaming mad...what to do?
« on: Dec 07, 2005, 12:13:36 PM »
So we got a letter from our attorney yesterday that included a letter from BM attorney.  She stated that we are not sending SD home in the clothes that she goes in.  She stated Bm "has spent a great deal of "close" to outfit the child for school."  (This in itself is CRAP.  SD is still wearing shoes that are too small and has 1 pair of jeans and the same coat she has had since last year! at the most she bought a new shirt or two)  She stated we threw away a "brand new" pair of shoes that were "too small" and this is inappropriate. She goes on to state that we should have sent them home and purchased her a new pair.  We did buy her new shoes and sent them home!!!  The shoes she had were very old and 1 1/2 sizes too small!  Her toes were all balled up.  We are "alledgedly sending her home in old play clothes rather than her new ones."  We don't even have play clothes here.  When we finally got to see SD again we went and bought her ALL NEW THINGS, BM wouldn't send any and when she would come her clothes would be WAY TOO SMALL (she wears a 7/8 and she would be in a 4T) When she gets here, she changes into clothes that she has here.  She wears clothes from here all weekend and then right before we take her to exchange, she wears exactly what she wore here, I don't even wash them (BM instructed me not too and SD gets in trouble if I do)  
BM is mad because she has new stuff here and she feels it should go to her house, which would be fine, except it ends up "disappearing" and we never see it again.  She is telling her attorney that we keep SD clothes here for my daughter and send her home in my daughters "old clothes"  That is so sick and so wrong and so funny because even though our daughters are about the same age, my daughter is a size 8-10.
Her attorney instructed us "to return all of her things immediately."  DH called her last night to see what we have so that we can get it back to her. (Knowing we have nothing of hers)  She had HUGE attitude and stated "that was a long time ago" DH told her we didn't throw the shoes away we have them in a  bag, and we can give them back to her, but they were too small and we bought her new ones and sent them home.  She told him the ones we bought were NOT new.  He told her we have the receipt and she stated not for those "old dirty shoes" we don't buy her new stuff and if we do it must be at our house, because SD never gets anything new.  And then said, "is that all, I have things to do" (all on tape)  then she had SD call and say she has a skirt (with a big hole in it) over here and can she get it back.  DH told her if BM had something to say that she can call him, but SD isn't going to be in the middle.  He then called BM and said the same thing on her machine.  No return call.
The letter also stated we are 2 months behind on CS.  We just talked to the CS lady last month regarding a possible OVERPAYMENT, because we pay monthly and they are going to take it out of his check, anyway and that that is a possible contempt going to happen along with the above.

So how do we prove that the sh!t she sends her in is the same sh!t she gets back and do we continue to send the too small shoes and clothes home?  I kept them so BM can't make her wear them again.  I let her take her boots home  (2 sizes too small) and she continues to wear them toes balled up and all.
When is enough enough???

Visitation Issues / Does anyone know?
« on: Sep 04, 2005, 09:39:48 PM »
If BM who is the CP goes to jail (It is a HUGE possibility!) she will try to not tell us and just let her parents have SD, but can we (NCP) get temporary custody while BM is in jail?  What would we have to do to make that happen, if we can?  

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