Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center
crazy gamesriddles and jokesfunny picturesdeath psychic!mad triviafunny & odd!pregnancy testshape testwin custodyrecipes

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - Tennessee Dad

Pages: 12
Child Support Issues / Experience with NCP on disability
« on: Jul 17, 2005, 02:52:38 PM »
Last September, I was awarded custody of my 7yo daughter.  BM had not worked in several years, and the Judge awarded no child support.  Since then, we have "heard through the grapevine" that BM is receiving disability benefits.  She has never told me this, but then again she probably wouldn't admit it to me.  

My question is should I be able to file for benefits for our daughter based on BM receiving disabiliiity benefits?  I have been told sometimes a portion of benefits can be paid to the custodial parent, in lieu of child support.  If so I would like to have it, for daughter's sake; but I know BM will go ballistic if I apply for daughter, and they reduce BM's benefits.  

Just wondering if anyone had any experience with a similar situation.  

Dear Socrateaser / income tax questions
« on: Feb 03, 2007, 05:28:01 PM »
First of all, thank you for all your information and advice to me and others.

Background:  Ex- and I divorced in 1996, and she had custody of our youngest daughter, who turned 18 in August.  Daughter is now in college.  Mom had custody (on paper), but daughter had lived with me and my wife for past 4 years (since May, 2002).  We had alternated claiming as a dependent on taxes, although I had paid the majority of her expenses for this time (just didn't want the fight).  I think it is only fair to claim daughter this year; she had lived with us the entire year, and we had paid her living expenses, a car repair bill of $1,000, plus my wife's job provided tuition assistance of over $2,000.   But, ex- says no, it's her year to claim.  

Next, daughter has scholarships and tuition assistance to pay her college expenses quite a bit above her "qualified" expenses.  If I understand correctly, she will have to pay taxes on the amount over the "qualified" expenses.  She has earned income of about $800 that she will have to report also.  


1.  Should I legally claim daughter as a dependent on my return?

2.  Does daughter need to file her own return based on earned income and the amount of scholarships over her "qualified" expenses?

Thanks, again, for all your help!

Dear Socrateaser / What does "primary custody" really mean?
« on: Jul 01, 2006, 04:09:30 PM »
This has been a subject of question since my orders were received in 2004.  

Background:  My orders state "that the Order (i.e., MDA from 1997) be modified such that primary custody be with the petitioner father, my name."  The original MDA stated Mother should have "custody and control" of our then 3 month old daughter.   (It was an agreed order, as I didn't think I had any chance of getting custody of an infant from the Mother.  Then, when things got bad enough, I filed and received custody of our then 6yo.)   I assumed under the original order that Mother had "sole" custody, and did as she pleased (she consulted me only when she wanted to).  Now, I assumed, I had "sole" custody, but have been told by some that is incorrect.  Order does not say full or joint anything, and does not address residential or legal,  only says "primary".

Now, questions:

1.  What exactly, in your opinion, does "primary custody" mean?  

2.  Am I correct that all parts of the original order not addressed in new order remain the same, i.e., medical expenses split equally, etc.?  

Thanks for your opinion; you have been a great source of information and help to me and many others!

Dear Socrateaser / Tennessee law update
« on: May 29, 2004, 12:17:56 PM »
The legislation in Tennessee (HB2666) defining "material change of circumstance" has now been signed into law (effective 5/24/04). It states :

changes in the needs of the child over time
(original MDA was when child was 3 months old, she is now 6 years old; big change)

changes in the parent's living or working condition
(BM has not worked in 2 years, and has just moved in with her Mom; they have no permanent home, and school district has changed)

failure to adhere to the parenting plan
(original MDA allowed me Saturday 10:00 a.m. until Sunday 5:00 p.m., every other week; I have records the last 3 years where I have had daughter 60+% of overnights)

Also, my attorney offered mediation; her attorney said she wants full custody, full support, standard visitation for me; no negotiation.  

Now, questions, in your opinion:  

1.  Do I meet the required "material change of circumstance"?

2.  Do I continue asking for full custody, and settle for less if need be?

3.  What, in your opinion, would be considered "fair"?

Thanks for your help; I am getting very anxious about this case, and we go to court on Friday, June 4th.  

Dear Socrateaser / Interrogatories
« on: May 11, 2004, 06:35:42 AM »
Background:  I am NCP of 6yo daughter, and have filed for change in custody.  Our basis is the fact that I have had daughter 60% or more of the time on average the last 3 years.  BM and I divorced when daughter was only 3 months old.  The original MDA stated custody subject to modification when the child was 3.  

We have received a set of interrogatories from BM's attorney.  It looks like the standard questions from a divorce proceeding, i.e., regarding debts, assets, money transfers the last three years, etc.  I understand the importance of income, but debt?  I will have to spend hours trying to locate all this information.  My attorney is out of town, or I would be asking her this question.  

1.  Will I be required to answer all these questions, or can they be objected to as irrelevant?  

Thanks, as always, for your reponse.

Dear Socrateaser / Questions about answer to petition
« on: Apr 14, 2004, 08:05:54 AM »
I have filed a petition for custody; ex-W has now filed her answer.  I would like your opinion, please.

One paragraph states:

"The Defendant would show that the Plaintiff has previously subjected her to harsh physical, emotional, and sexual abuse during the course of their marriage.  The Defendant would show that the Plaintiff has sought to continue to control Defendant's life following their divorce and has unreasonably and repeatedly demanded that she refrain from dating, has unsucessfully sought to persuade Defendant to have a three-way sexual encounter with Plaintiff and Plaintiff's present wife, and has also demanded that Defendant and Child and Defendant's son move in with Plaintiff and his new wife.  Defendant refused such demands, and believes that Plaintiff has brought this unwarranted Petition for Custody in retaliation for Defendant's refusal of such demands."

My response:  The marriage lasted from September til December, 1996.  She left soon after telling me she was pregnant, and moved back in with her ex-H.  There was NO physical abuse.  Sex was adverturous, but consensual.  As for emotional abuse, try living with the fact that your wife is pregnant, living with her ex-, and telling you that one day the child was yours, one day not; and demanding you sign your rights over to her ex-.  My present wife and I have been married almost 5 years; ex- called me a few weeks ago, and asked if we were happy together.  She said if we weren't, maybe we could get back together, and raise our daughter.  


1.  Will the Judge allow testimony regarding this, since it has no bearing on the child?

2.  How should I prepare for this?

Thanks for your help!

Custody Issues / Do I have to give NCP insurance card?
« on: Mar 24, 2005, 08:23:14 AM »
My ex- is "insisting" on a copy of my insurance card for our daughter. I have "primary" custody, and maintain insurance. When she had a copy of insurance coverage in the past, she would take daughter to the Dr. on her whim; the Dr. would diagnose a cold or allergies, or some such thing we were already aware of, and I would be sent the bill. Thus far, I have not given her a copy of the new insurance card this year.

Legally, can I refuse to provide her a copy of the card? Mom has the option to take daughter to the Dr. I have selected, but she doesn't want to take her there. She wants her own choice.

Any help would be appreciated!


Custody Issues / Another Father WINS!
« on: Sep 13, 2004, 01:50:15 PM »
Just an update, for those who remember my case.  Court testimony concluded September 2nd.  Judge took the case under advisement, to rule on Friday, September 10th.  He didn't get the lawyers closing briefs until Thursday, so he put the decision off till this week.  This morning, about 9:00 a.m., I got the call for my attorney's assistant.  Her opening remark was "the Judge HAS found a material change of circumstance", and I will have FULL custody of my 7yo daughter as of Friday.  

Thanks to those who have responded and encouraged me.  It has been a long, hard-fought battle; but it is worth it.  I will know my daughter will be safe, secure and stable.  

To all those with SPARC:  your information and assistance has been invaluable.  I used the Time Tracker, since August of 2003.  Those records along with ones I had kept prior to that, made my case work easier.  BM's attorney even wanted to know where I got the software.  Thanks, to you all, for a wonderful site.  

Custody Issues / Need your prayers! Friday is the day!
« on: Jul 29, 2004, 06:53:42 AM »
Friday is court day!  We hope we are ready, and are anxious for this to be over.  I just want 6yo daughter to be safe, secure, and stable.  BM has not provided that, and I think we can.  So, here we go!  

Just remember us tomorrow, and say a little prayer for daughter.  Above all, I just pray God's will be done, and daughter has the best outcome possible.  Bless you all for caring!

Custody Issues / Please help - what testimony will the Judge allow?
« on: Jul 20, 2004, 12:42:23 PM »
For those of you who have been through a custody trial, how much testimony about my sexual past will the Judge allow?  My ex- has responded that she intends to testify that I tied her up, and sexually abused her while we were married.  She says her Mother and step-Father are going to testify she told them of this, and the use of "sex toys" during our marriage.  

Let me assure you, all sex was consensual.  Nothing about abuse was mentioned during our divorce.  She even signed the papers stating the child she was carrying was not mine.  She was living with her ex-h at the time the child was born, and at the time of our divorce.  According to her ex-, he is willing testify that she offered to be his "sex slave", if he would just pay her bills (this was just last year).  She has even brought out the fact that I had an affair with teenage girl during my first marriage.  Not saying it didn't happen, but that was over 20 years ago.  

I am a basket case!  In your opinion, just how much of this kind of testimony will the Judge listen to.   My wife says not to worry about it, but I am fearful for how much the Judge consider that might affect my case.  

Pages: 12
Copyright © SPARC - A Parenting Advocacy Group
Use of this website does not constitute a client/attorney relationship and this site does not provide legal advice.
If you need legal assistance for divorce, child custody, or child support issues, seek advice from a divorce lawyer.