« on: Oct 19, 2009, 10:58:16 am »
Hi all.. I have posted a few times previous. I am the stepmother of 2 boys, 13 and 9. Dad decided to file a motion for contempt, based on several items in the new order made on 8/19/09, which bm refuses to follow. Specifically, refusing to provide current address and phone number, refusing to provide a copy of her work schedule to dad as ordered, (we believe) not allowing dad his ROFR, and leaving children in the care of her new boyfriend.
I actually have two questions. First, under what circumstances can someone object to a Commissioner presiding over their case?
We have a Commissioner currently residing over our case. The Commissioner appointed herself to the case for all issues, after they had gone in front of her regarding child support. I believe she saw something was not right with the way our case had been handled by the court up to that point. Going on 3 years, dad only had every other Sunday visitation. Mom continuously made up false allegations to keep dad from having more time, including false tro's and ex-parte hearings. The Commissioner took over, then ordered an evaluation. The court evaluator was not kind in her opinion of mom, agreed that there was parental alienation, and ordered mom to attend counseling. Dad now has every Wednesday night as well as 1st, 3rd, and 5th wknds. After the last hearing, mom started saying she didn't agree to the Commissioner hearing the case, and more or less stating she didn't have to abide by her orders. We believe she will try to have the Commissioner removed from hearing this contempt motion (scheduled for 11/12/09). I know on the doors to the courtroom it says one can object to the Commissioner hearing a case, but are there specific circumstances; does it have to be initially before she hears any of the case, or can it be at each hearing for the case in question?
My other question, Can we file another declaration before the contempt hearing in regards to that hearing, in order to let the court know of more instances of contempt or bad behavior on mom's part?
Dad sent bm a certified letter return receipt to her mother's address, requesting information and noting the instances of contempt. We would like to file a copy with the court.
Also, since we filed, we found out bm had signed younger son up for soccer (he was signed up even prior to the last hearing), dad found out when he was told by bm to have son at X place and at x time for soccer game. There was never any discussion, even though games are every Saturday during dad's time. I posted about this previously; dad has been taking the child to his games.
Most importantly, at last Saturday's game their was an incident that we would like the court to be aware of.
Long story longer...We tried unsuccessfully to obtain mom's home or work address to have her served with the papers for contempt hearing. The only other option was to have her served at either the park where soccer takes place, or when dad drops off the children to her. We figured soccer park would be best, since the children are in dad's care at this time. She was served last Saturday, immediately after half-time and not in front of the children, by a mutual friend (someone she also knows and is friendly with). She started calling dad's cell, left a voice mail calling him a low-life and repeatedly saying she wasn't served, that the person didn't tell her "you've been served", and that she didn't know what these papers were but he better try to have her served again. After third quarter when dad was giving younger child his sports drink, she approached and yelled at dad repeatedly that she hadn't been served, then grabbed the drink from dad as well as grabbing the child and told dad" he's not going with you". Child was visibly upset for the rest of the game.
When the game was over, bm held onto the child and refused to turn him over. Child had a birthday party he wanted to attend; dad had been told about it the day prior, but he had explained to the child that we were going to visit his grandparents and cousins after the soccer game, and we had already planned on doing that since his soccer game was finally early enough to allow us the time for that. BM was now using the party as an excuse for not turning over the child, that he was going with her and it was his choice. Dad stated that he was not going to play tug of war with the child, but that he would call the police. She said go ahead. Dad then went and stood behind her vehicle, while she was still on the field gathering her things, and called police.
She approached the car with the younger child and her boyfriend, they got in the car, and she repeatedly threatened to run dad over; she did not turn the car on. I was nearby with the older child as well as our 1 y.o. daughter and the person who had served her. Dispatch told him he could block the car, but if she started backing out best to move. When I approached my husband with the address so he could give it to dispatch, she got out of the vehicle, walked between me and the rear of her car, and elbowed me in the chest as she passed. She turned around and got inches from my face, screaming. Her boyfriend got out and pulled her back. She then went over to my vehicle, telling the older child to give her a hug and kiss. She started yelling at the person who served her as well. When the police arrived, she stated the judge had said it was the children's choice if they wanted to go or not (lie). The police eventually made her return the child, who was crying and refusing to get out of the car.
Similar instances have occurred many times in the past, and dad has let the child go in order to avoid conflict. The police look at him as the bad guy for upsetting the child, now the child has learned this behavior is acceptable. The children's emotional growth is stunted. The 9 year old reverts to preschool behavior when he doesn't get his way. Within 10 minutes of leaving the soccer park, child was back to normal, and excited to get to his cousin's house. The next day, about 20 minutes before drop off, child gets hurt playing with the baby, and reverts back to angry, negative behavior right before he returns to mom's care. This is typical behavior before drop off, 9 yo either gets hurt or suddenly has a bad attitude towards dad. Mom encourages this behavior and rewards him for it with praise and attention. Older child is considered a bad kid because he does not go along with it and stands up for dad when mom or mom's boyfriend badmouth him.