Confused about contempt hearing, does anyone know..?

[chickenbubbasmom]

Please bear with my apparent ignorance, as this is the first time we are going through the motions of contempt. The contempt hearing we filed back in August was set for today. At the hearing, DH was asked if he still wanted to go forward with contempt, he stated yes. BM was asked how she pleads (Not Guilty). Commissioner then states contempt charges are quasi-criminal in nature, refers BM to public defender and states BM to be released on her own recognizance. TSC (Trial Setting Conference) is scheduled for 11/24 in a different Family Law Court.

We were under the impression that the contempt was going to be addressed at the hearing, today. The main objective in filing for contempt was not so much pursuing criminally, but in having the court make BM follow through (ie. providing DH with her home address and work schedule). Is this how things are usually done??


Another, greater concern that has surfaced- I previously talked about BM's new boyfriend. The evaluation this past summer noted that BM's boyfriend should not be caretaker for the children, and the current court order states mom's boyfriend is not to babysit the children. Mom continues to leave the children in his care despite court order. We have no way of proving this. BM's boyfriend has made several threats of violence against DH, as well as racial slurs and derogatory comments about DH to the children. DH's older son has been verbally attacked and threatened by this man. During DH's most recent visitation, older son stated that mom's boyfriend raised his hand and told him "I should smack you in your face". Older son clenched his fists in return and told him to do it. Mom's boyfriend then lurched forward to scare/intimidate child. Now son tells DH he wants to carry scissors in his backpack in case it happens again. Problem is, older son is incredibly intimidated by mom and won't speak up. Younger boy, who is nine, has been severely alienated against dad and will do or say virtually anything mom tells him to. It's such a mess here..Any advice??

[snowrose]

Commissioner then states contempt charges are quasi-criminal in nature, refers BM to public defender and states BM to be released on her own recognizance. TSC (Trial Setting Conference) is scheduled for 11/24 in a different Family Law Court.

We were under the impression that the contempt was going to be addressed at the hearing, today. The main objective in filing for contempt was not so much pursuing criminally, but in having the court make BM follow through (ie. providing DH with her home address and work schedule). Is this how things are usually done??

I'm somewhat surprised by the statement that the charges are quasi-criminal in nature.  You really need that to be clarified by the court.  And the reason that your case didn't continue appears to be so that BM can consult with the public defender as, generally, criminal charges carry much higher fines and punishments than do civil charges.

The evaluation this past summer noted that BM's boyfriend should not be caretaker for the children, and the current court order states mom's boyfriend is not to babysit the children.

Does the BF caring for the children happen on a regularly scheduled basis?  If he does, I think you would be well within your rights to go and pick the children up from the BF while he is babysitting them - and then filing contempt charges against BM (and possibly against the BF). 

If you can be completely sure about the timing, even take your court order with you and a policeman, and pick the children up from the BF with the policeman there.

[chickenbubbasmom]

snowrose- The cover letter to the contempt paper does say that the charge is criminal in nature, but goes on to state that if you pursue the contempt action it may affect the ability of the district attorney to pursue criminally for the same charges?  It also states that BM is entitled to an attorney. That would make sense as to why it was continued, but a little confused as to why it went to another family law court to have a trial set. Maybe I'm just freaking out?? Here is what we filed for:

-address, mom refuses to provide.
-work schedule, verbally stated but refuses to provide copy of.
-rofr, cannot prove this, as she has "doctored" schedules .
-children left with boyfriend, really can't prove.

We filed an additional declaration re:

-children not enrolled in court ordered counseling as of 9/16/09
-younger child signed up for soccer during the summer, dh was informed in September, right before game was to fall on his weekend.
-mom interferes with visitation, tried to hold younger child after soccer during dad's time, police were called and turned child back over to dad, but no report made.


As for the boyfriend, BM refuses to provide DH with her home address (she moved in with new boyfriend in August), and refuses to provide dad with copy of her work schedule as ordered. We don't even know where she works, as she never filed her income and expense declaration, simply handed the judge her paystubs at court to keep dh from seeing them.  Two of the main reasons we filed contempt in the first place. We can't prove when they are home with him, it is at random times. For example, mom goes to school, but we don't know when. We always hear about it after the fact. Usually an innocent comment from the children such as, "Dave (bf) isn't as nice to us when mom's not home." One particular night we knew for a fact that children were home alone with bf and called the police, they stated that IF we had her address they could go there and remove the children, as well as cite her for willfully breaking a court order. After this incident, older son is no longer allowed to talk to dad on the computer or while mom is not home. The only contact # we have is mom's cell.

[Giggles]

Do you know the BF's full name?  You might be able to find the address using this site...

http://www.zabasearch.com/ (http://www.zabasearch.com/)

[snowrose]

How old are the children?  Are they capable of reporting on the address of the home they visit?  SD9 here knows BM's address and mostly knows how to drive there, so by that age level I'd think that you'd be able to get some idea of where the children are being taken.

[MixedBag]

Sounds like in your area -- she was able to plead "guilty or not guilty" which is how criminal courts handle it.

It was probably more like a "status hearing" that Dad had.

Good luck!

[chickenbubbasmom]

giggles- Thanks for the link. I tried it but only came up with an address from 2002.

snowrose- They are 13 and 9... no hope of getting any info from the 9 yr. old.. We tried nonchalantly to get the address from 13 year old, ie. driving around in the general vicinity, but he is too afraid mom will find out he told. Children have been ordered by bm to give dad no information, or lie if asked. School will not give dad info without mom's consent, regardless of joint custody. Believe me, we have tried everything. At the very least, am hoping what comes out of this contempt hearing is that she MUST provide him with the information. I don't see how she can get out of it, unless she makes more false claims of domestic violence, which wouldn't surprise me at this point.

I am most concerned about the older child and the verbal abuse/potential physical abuse on the part of the boyfriend. I'm also afraid of what the child will do in return. These kids have been through a lot of emotional torment.

MB- that makes sense, I wish the courts would give a better explanation of the process.  Thank you

[MixedBag]

About finding their address.....will take a team effort, honestly.

Here's what a friend of mine did....really.

She dropped the boys off for the exchange and drove off.

She had a friend watch from a distance who followed dad when he drove away.

Friend followed for a few minutes and called Mom on her cell.  They then tagged and Mom followed dad and they tagged and the friend followed dad.

And YEP, they found out where dad lives.

Next step was to find out where dad works (claims he isn't and therefore doesn't pay Child Support).  So Mom parked car outside dad's place (but you know, far enough away), and followed him to work -- well, he parked behind the dumpster to hide his car, but she found the car, found the business, and confronted him via letter later.  Busted!)

Anyways, THAT's what I suggest.  Ask a friend for some assistance -- maybe even two friends -- and follow her back to where she takes the kids.

[Kitty C.]

MB.......ever consider becoming a PI??? 

[MixedBag]

Thanks for the laugh Kitty!!!!