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Messages - bblindell

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1
Georgia State Forum / fighting in GA court
« on: Dec 30, 2007, 04:05:36 PM »
HELP!
I have been alienated by my ex for more than 2 years.  I got caught up on back child support and took her back to court.  The judge ordered that I spend 6 months (one day a month) driving the 4 hours from my house to my ex's to visit with my kids.  I did EXACTLY like the judge ordered and at the end of the 6 months we went back to court and the judge gave me broad and reasonable visitation.  The very next night when I was scheduled to meet my ex to get the kids, she refused to let me have them.  I filed police report and went back to court.  It was a nightmare! The judge said that I needed to spend another 6 months visiting the kids where they live.  In 6 months, the judge has not signed a single order and my ex has violated EVERY order he has given from the bench. What can I do?

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Father's Issues / RE: Need all the help I can get
« on: Jan 22, 2008, 09:34:53 PM »
I would just like to tell you that my husband and I share this account and I post mostly on his behalf, but I wanted to tell you our story.
He is fighting with his ex to see and talk to his 2 children.  He pays C/S and is being stonewalled at every turn by his ex..... However, I am a mother with 4 boys.  When my ex and I divorced, we agreed that we loved our children more than ANYHING and no matter what we wouldn't hurt them.  My ex, me, and my husband have made a wonderful relationship for our 4 boys.  We spend birthdays, holidays, basketball games, boyscouts, field trips, you name it, we share it.  If my ex or I can't do a parent teacher conf. their step dad goes.  No hard feelings.  My ex and my current husband help each other out any time there is a need.  This relationship has not always been easy, we have really had to work hard not to let the kids know anything about child support, or when they go to their dads or my house.  They get to spend as much time with either of us.  My new husband's family was a little freaked out by the relationship since all they have known is their son having to fight to see his own kids, but they have accepted my ex and invite him to celebrate holidays or special occasions with us.  

Ok, so this long post seems silly, but I want all men who read this to know that there ARE moms out there that care about making sure that their kids have happy childhoods.  Maybe we are in the minority, but I hope not.  

Don't give up.  Keep fighting for your daughter.  She is worth it.  She, sadly isn't able to make choices for herself and needs you and your ex to do that for her.  Do the right thing.  Even if it hurts, do it.  Pray, find people who can be a support network for you, even if it is just to listen to you when you need to rant.  Don't let your ex "suck" you into arguments.  No one ever feels better after.  

Lawyers are expensive, and mostly are more worried about getting paid.  Check in your area for legal aid.  There are some things you can do on your own, such as downloading forms.  Make sure that if you send ANYTHING to your ex, send it certified mail, restricted delivery.  This ensures that SHE gets it.  She is the only one that can sign for it.

3
Father's Issues / RE: Sounds terrible
« on: Jan 07, 2008, 12:58:02 PM »
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post.  Unfortunately, my ex has sole custody.  I am not going to give up and will for sure implement your suggestions.  

4
Father's Issues / need help in GA
« on: Jan 01, 2008, 07:12:35 PM »
I am looking for any experts in southeast GA that have knowledge and experience in PAS.
Also any guardian ad litem's in the area.

5
Father's Issues / i miss my kids.
« on: Jan 01, 2008, 07:09:31 PM »
My situation is a legal nightmare and I don't know what to do.
My ex has been difficult to say the least for the past 7 years, often keeping my kids away for weeks at a time.  This usually only happened when I was dating but when I was single, I saw the kids no problem.  3 years ago I met somone and we married.  Needless to say, I haven't had a relationship with my kids since.  I was behind in C/S but caught it all up and took my ex to court.  The judge said the estrangement was my fault and ordered that I spend 6 months "rebuilding" a relationship with my 10 and 14 year old.  At first I was hurt but did exactly as the judge said.  My ex still made it hell.  She said the kids didn't want to see me and even had them say this to the judge!!  After completing 6 months of one day a month visits, where I drove 4 hours one way, we went back to court.  The judge ordered my ex to resume normal visitation.  The VERY NEXT NIGHT I was supposed to meet my ex to get the kids and she wouldn't let them come.  Again, we went back to court.  The judge said that I would have do another 6 months of rebuilding.  I don't have a signed order (other than one from 2002) and the kids are terrified to say they want to see me if their mom is anywhere around.  The wierdest part is that in Oct. she brought them to me for 5 days and didn't call them or provide ANY clothing for them.  She says they are uncomfortable around me.  The judge ordered my C/S payments be made to a guardian ad litem for the next 6 months, but I don't think what is going on is legal.  My lawyer is crappy but I don't have the money to keep paying her.... she said that she was done after the last hearing anyway.  How stupid is it going to be to represent myself?  How long does a judge have before an order must be signed?  Is a judge's order from the bench considered binding or is it only legal when it has been signed?
Thanks for reading this entire thing. I am desparate to be involved with my kids.

6
Father's Issues / RE: Proof this site is great! Keep faith!
« on: May 12, 2007, 07:53:34 PM »
WOW!!!
I am so happy for you and your family. I, too, had a good friend (Marty) tell me about SPARC and my wife and I have used it to help us see my children.  Unfortunately, I am still in the trenches of court appearnces and attorneys fees, but your post has given me renewed strength.  
Thank you again for your positive story.

7
Father's Issues / Parental Alienation Syndrome
« on: May 12, 2007, 06:37:46 PM »
My wife has been doing some digging around about Parental Alienation Syndrome and my ex is a classic example.  Have any of you had any success in the GA courts with charging a parent with PAS?  

8
Father's Issues / RE: SAD DAD
« on: May 12, 2007, 06:25:20 PM »
THANK YOU!!!
Thank you all for the advice you gave.  May 8th I sent registered/restricted delivery notice to my ex to the dates that I would pick up the children.  The first weekend that I listed in the letter was May 11.  I drove 2 1/2 hours to the designated meeting point...and as you probably guessed, she didn't show.  I was sad, but called the local police and filed a report.  The officer was super great and gave me even more great advice.  I called my ex and told her that I had been there to get the kids and she told me I was "crazy as hell" if I thought she was going to meet me.  She also said the kids "hated me and didn't want to see me."  My current wife has been amazing and is researching Parental Alienation Syndrome (have any of you had any success with courts recognizing PAS?).  The judge that threatened me with jail if I ever came back into his court behind in child support has passed away.  While I still miss my children terribly, I am feeling more in control and can finally say that I am confident that things are looking up.  I have hired a great attorney (at least I am paying a lot, so I hope she is great!!!) and have a court date at the end of May.  
Again, thank you dads that have taken an interest in my situation.  You don't know how much your support and advice has meant to me.  

9
Father's Issues / RE: SAD DAD
« on: May 04, 2007, 12:48:31 PM »
I was threatened with jail time because I was behind in cs.  My ex told the children 13 (girl) 9 (boy) that only bad people went to jail and I didn't want to go to jail and make my kids think i was "bad".  I have tried soooo hard to talk to them, I called my daughter's cell phone last week when I knew her mom was gone (on her honeymoon with new hubby)  My daughter told me that she loved me and missed me but that mom wouldn't let her talk to me. I have even driven to the pick up point just to have her not show up.
 My ex and the kids live about 4 hours from me and my parents. They go to see the children when they can and are allowed to talk to the kids, not without fussing with my ex first.
My ex was awarded sole custody and at the time, i was into some pretty bad stuff.  I am supposed to see them every other weekend and two weeks in the summer plus christmas break.  Until i met a new woman and started seriously dating and decided to get married, i was allowed to see and talk to the kids.  I have recently paid over 10,000 to catch up cs.  my ex is saying that the children are going to be adopted by their new daddy.  I have found an attorney that is going to help me, but I am still nervous.  I don't want my kids to think that I am trying to take them away from their mom.

10
Father's Issues / SAD DAD
« on: May 03, 2007, 09:20:07 PM »
I need a good attorney in South GA (Camden County).  My ex has kept my kids from me for 2 years because I was behind in child support.  I am caught up and NEED to see my kids.  My ex just got remarried and is threatening me that the children have a "new daddy".  Somebody please help me!!! I am a good dad to my step children and want to be with my own children.  My ex lets my parents see and talk to the children.

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