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Messages - SuperDad52

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Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 27, 2011, 07:42:29 AM »
yes that is true, I do get the first 4 weeks of summer however, BM has already told me I'm only getting him for 2 weeks because that is what the old order says.  So, unless we make it back to court before then I guess that is what I'll get.
And I learned something yesterday.  From what I saw mom can come and get my son anytime she wants, say Saturday morning on her way to Disney World on my weekend as long as she has a cop and my son says he wants to go to whatever she has planed.
I have never had to force my son to come over but anything longer than my weekend he always wants to go home because what BM has promised him, all the fun things.  Unfortunately, I'm in the extremely small percentage of people that have to WORK for a living (sarcasm), so sometimes when he is here I'll be at work. And she can buy him away from me because she don't work.  Side note this is kinda funny, I asked my son "so is your mom still working at the apt complex (she got a job there while we were going through court and she quit work as soon as court was over) and he said no she quit she said what's the point in working.  I just casually asked as we were driving past the office.
So, I slept on it and I came up with two options
1. Send her (and maybe her new hub) a text telling them that they win.  I can no longer fight, I'm done emotionally and financially. So, if my son wants to come over to my house for my so call visitation schedule then he's welcome but if he doesn't then he don't have to.
2. Borrow the money (again) charge her with contempt and watch as the judge does nothing

What about this also, last year while we were going through the whole "relocation battle" I also threw in there that I'd filed contempt twice.  One for her not letting my son come over for my scheduled weekend and the other for her taking my son (almost like yesterday) after 4 days of my 2 week summer visitation and nothing was ever resolved with those two cases at the end of the day only the "Relocation".
Think it's possible to bring those two cases up again and see if the judge entertains any thoughts w/them when I file contempt for yesterdays spring break shurade? <---I spelled that word so bad even spell check don't even know what I'm trying to spell.

any thoughts?
extremely frustratedad52

Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 26, 2011, 10:54:06 PM »
Their is no chance of her calming down and being reasonable!!!!!
Here's what happened.
BM showed up earlier today with the cops.  The cop and I had words and I was very assertive of how BM is always bribing my son away from me on my time with him with all the extravigant adventures not to mention the new puppy she just bought him yesterday.  Oh, he was so ready to go home it wasn't funny (AT ALL).  So, the cop tells me that he can't force my son to leave with his mother but he can't stop him either.  I instructed all of them to leave my yard (cop, BM and new stepdad) and as soon as the cop left out of the garage I closed the garage door behind him, at the same time I heard my front door close and looked out the window and seen my son walking out side.  I followed and my son said he wanted to go w/his mom.  I did tell him no once and BM and I had some words and my son started walking over to BM car and said he wanted to go again.  At this point my options are very limited!  I didn't want to force my son to stay when he wanted to go and I surly didn't want to get arrested for doing what was going through my mind so I had to let him get into the car and watch them drive away as the cop and I finished our little bitch session.
I can't take it anymore.  I've lived the last 10 years like this and I'm having an emotional break down.  I'm a loving father who has lost all grip on everything.  I'm done putting myself through this.  I know my boy is 11 and only wants to do all the fun things that mom promises him on my time or hers BM really don't care she always gets her way and I'm always on the outside looking in and I can't take it anymore.  I can not compete with what (whoever she doin) financially and it has taken a toll.  SHE WINS!!  My visitations are over.  I'ma contact my attorney and have her submit a form if one exist and release my rights before I end up in prison for snapping.  Theirs many kids w/out a father in their live because the father don't want anything to do w/them and now their will be one more because of his mother and the court system. I'm sorry Austin, I love you!

Thanks for all your help with everything through all of this!

Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 26, 2011, 11:07:41 AM »
old order:
2 weeks during the summer-tbd by the parents (this is a nightmare because well, the obvious)
alternating weekends friday to sunday 6pm to 6pm
Christmas - christmas eve is the day before christmas eve time not stated to 8 pm on christmas eve night
Thanksgiving - split thanksgiving day (this has happened three times and is nearly impossible)
Halloween - split holloween outing (this has only happened once and is dumb)

new order:
alternate two-night weekends
Alternate school vacations-
      Thanksgiving in odd-numbered years with father and even with mother
      Christmas in odd-numbered years with mother and even with father
      Spring break odd-numbered years with father and even with mother
      Summer time-sharing: four continuous weeks each with the mother having the the first four weeks after school recesses in the even0-numbered years and the father having the first four weeks after school recessed in the odd-numbered years. The last four weeks ending the Friday preceding the resumption of classes for the fall term of school.

There it is.......so now with all that said, if we/when we go back to court for this here spring break issue I can see many things that need to be addressed.  These are the papers I got after the judge made her decision their was no negotiating any visitation or anything this is it and I can see many issues that will arise.  There are not set times or days for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Spring Break which will become an issue, I KNOW!!

This is really sad, the only times BM and I really get into it is when I want to see my boy.

Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 26, 2011, 09:34:19 AM »
well, I have been getting my son on Wednesdays which is not in the new order or old order.  It was a verbal agreement when we was in court.  Happened like this.  BM sat there telling the judge "I just wish he would spend more time w/his son that all I want but he wont" (Huge lie).  So at the end of the hearing while we were all about to get up and leave my attorney said , before we leave would you (talking to me) like to discuss any options and or times that you may be able to get your son seeings how BM offered.  I said yes and the judge said ok ya'll go ahead I don't have to be in here for this and she left.  That left me and BM and both attorneys in the room and we aggreed on Wed after school until 8:30pm.
So yes I am still going by that which isn't in any order at all but I still want my extended time sharing that is in the new order.  Spring break is not in the old order at all, I have never gotten my son during spring break this is the first time in 11 years and it's a freaking problem.  It's always a problem! My old order show 2 weeks during the summer, last year I got 4 days because BM called him, made him upset about she almost died in a plane crash (they had to make an emergency landing because they ran out of fuel)  believe that?) told him about all these toys she had bought for him and he wanted to go home.  That night was a B#$%h!  She had him crying at 10pm when I thought was in bed (I was) and he came into my room all upset w/his mother on the phone wanting to go home, she drove out to my house to pick him up (30 min) and had my son on the phone the entire time, all the way until he walked out my door and half way across the way to her car.  For a visual, I live in a house w/no neighbors on several acres of land and her car was sitting in my front yard.
Now, she told me yesterday that I'm not getting my son on Wednesdays anymore because I've pissed her off and she hopes I look good in an orange suit, I guess I'm going to jail ..  Oh, well....
Oh, and something else.......My son has a cast on his foot (thank the lord that didn't happen at my house) and is suppose to get it off Wednesday morning, I called her yesterday to get the time and location of the Dr. and she wouldn't give it to me..she just kept yelling and telling me that we will be in court on Wed. for an emergency hearing.
And, now I'm wondering if I need to go into the court room with an attorney or not.  All were going to be doing is have the judge decipher what her order says and c.s and child support is pretty much a form that tell it all and here is what you will pay sir.  I did just get a new job (actually I start Monday) and am going to make another $5-6 an hour so she should be really happy w/that.

Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 25, 2011, 07:10:33 PM »
I beg to differ.....

post-relocation is after she relocates.  She's still in the same old situation (if I remember right) and hasn't relocated.

That being my opinion, I go back to what does it say for "close distances" vs. the new situation, post-relocation, and Spring Break Easter?

Personally, i think if she takes this to court, she won't come out a winner etc...

MixedBag, I'm confused what you mean by this.  Sounds like your saying because she hasn't moved we should go by the old order but then you say "Personally, i think if she takes this to court, she won't come out a winner ect...."

Please clarify,
Thanks a bunch

Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 25, 2011, 06:35:30 PM »
I thank everyone for your replies/an input.  I take it all in and make my decissions based on majority input.  I love this site and all of you!!  I anxiously await any more input!

Thanks a million,

Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 25, 2011, 01:40:15 PM »
Can someone help me decipher what the CO means.

It states:
2. The former wife's request to relocate is hereby granted.  Therefore, the parties are directed to comply with the following post-relocation schedule:
       a. The parties are to
            1.  Alternate two-night weekends
            2.  Alternate spring break with the father getting the odd number of years and the mother getting even.

And, here's what happened.  I picked up my son for my weekend visitation and didn't take him home on sunday which is the start of my spring break visitation.  She called many times and I told her what I was doing (but she already knew) and she cursed me up and down.  So, if someone can tell me does the above verbiage mean the new order starts when she moves to NY or does it start when it was signed and dated?

BECAUSE, BM is interpreting that CO don't start until she moves because it say "post-relocation schedule", is this true?

She acually called the police on me last night and they came out but didn't do anything, I showed him the CO and he said looks legit to him and now she is taking me back to court for more cs and this issue (she is going to try to get me arrested for kidnapping).  My attorney called to let me know but want's me to reload my retainer before we talk about this here case.

Thanks for  ur insight!!!!

Father's Issues / Re: Custody in Florida
« on: Apr 13, 2011, 12:51:48 AM »
Well Mike, I also live in FL (Tampa) and I started out doing everything myself.  I was doing a good job, learning a lot and it all looked very professional.  But at some point I recommend you get yourself an attorney.  That's what I did but here is the problem, i spent less than 5K for my attorney and my ex. spent approx 45-50K on her attorney and the child psychologist she hired and I got screwed.  I may as well not of had an attorney because she was worth what I paid for her, BUT, that was all I could afford.  I also learned something about florida family law, fathers have rights, the right to shut up in court and take ah beaten then go home an like it. Fathers have no right is florida at least not broke ones no matter how good of a dad u are if you live middle class life style ur screwed.


Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 12, 2011, 03:02:44 PM »
Yes Kitty, for the average woman this would be an accurate statement.  However, this particular woman won't go w/out money.  She don't work but she will date/be with/marry anyone with money and will pay her way/lifestyle.  At one point when my son was 7 (11 now) he said to me "dad, isn't it funny how only rich guys like my mom".  Need I say more.  I watched her date someone old enough to be her grandfather for over a year (we're both in our mid 30's).  I am very happy with my family, house and piece of land in the county but if I go w/out work for a few weeks things will get ugly financially and my ex know this and uses this as her "power" against me and my relationship w/my son.  Sometimes I tell him he has to come to my house and he will be mad at me for not letting him go do the "fun stuff" w/his mom but when he gets to the house he is perfectly fine.  Kinda weird really, but crazy enough through all of this for the last 10 years somehow my son and I have a Great relationship!!  And I thank the Good Lord for this many times a week when I lay down for bed.


Father's Issues / Re: Old papers vs new papers, what's right?
« on: Apr 12, 2011, 02:25:45 AM »
Thanks for your replies!!
Davy, you are right this is going to be a long and ugly road.
The Bi&ch about it is I told her that I'd be willing to switch years w/her and she could have our son on for spring break on the odd numbered years and I'll get him on the even years because I do have to work a few of the days during spring break and I didn't want him to be board.  Also, she told him they (her N.Y husband and family) were going to Bush Gardens, Disney and the beach that week so my son informed me he'd rather be w/his mom.  So, it kind of sucks for me.  I want him to enjoy him self but she always does this to me!!  Always promising him big plans on my time then I have to be the a$$ dad and tell him no or forfeit my time because she don't give me make-up time.  I hate to say it because I love watching him grow up but she is making this absolutely miserable but I can't wait until he turns 18.

I guess we'll end up back in court because I will file contempt if she denies my visitation.  But, I'm sure like every time in the past the judge won't fault her for anything. Stupid FN system!!

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